Thank You for An Amazing Ride!

(I hope I don't get in trouble for posting this, but well... )

You know, I held it together really well yesterday. We were giving our goodbyes, some of the team members stood up and reminisced about what we really appreciated about working on such an amazing game and with the stellar team at Paragon over the last five years.

I had decided early on that I wasn't going to cry. (It was stupid, really, because I cry at Hallmark commercials for the love of pete.)

But when people I'd known for nearly a decade stood up and got tearful, it was the beginning of the end of my composure. Most of us are baffled, and in shock, and we are so sad that such a popular game is being shut down, but I made a personal choice to focus not on what we're losing, but on what has blessed me over the years. (I really do want to maintain grace about this because, in the end, I do not regret a moment of the last ten and a half years and I want to remember the good.)

So (of course) I got teary-eyed.

I could have gone on and on (and on) about all the great times we've had and how it is especially bittersweet for me to have been there before we launched, experienced launch, all of our updates and expansions, and initiatives up until we received the news about the studio shutting down and City of Heroes ending, but I knew I wouldn't get through it.

I did, however, look out at the sea of faces in front of me, knowing this was the last time I'd address them and I felt so PROUD to have worked with them, to have watched them create amazing things over the years, and I was especially proud of Brian, Destin, and Ross who fought so hard for the studio every single day since we opened the doors. More than any of us will ever know, I am sure. So I kept it brief and I said I was HONORED to have worked with them. And it is true.

It seems strange to be sitting here today, just a day after we heard the news. Yesterday was filled with numbness and disbelief. I was poking around the forums and reading your reactions and it just made me smile. Even as sad as I am, this outpouring has been - well - amazing. It's lifted me up and it has meant a lot.

In the past I have underestimated the impact our game has had on lives, but when I see things like this, I realize that as we toiled away from our studio we were making something that millions of people (probably more, if Marketing corrects me) have enjoyed over the years and that boggles my mind, quite frankly. But it makes me feel such gratitude for the support and such pride at the way CoH has touched so many lives.

I really want to say thank you, to all of you players and all of you devs (old and new) who have contributed to the awesome that is City of Heroes over the years.

I wish I could explain to you without sounding cheesy or rah-rah about how hard we worked on this game for you, how much gut and soul, on a daily basis so that we could give you guys our best. We read your posts (even the not-so-nice ones) and sometimes we took them personally (not one dev in the studio hasn't taken an opinion - right or wrong or even way off base - home for the weekend and really chewed on it - I know I have) and we have read your glowing posts and they have fueled us to try harder and be better.

Behind these keyboards, we're all people and all we ever wanted was the best for City of Heroes. So I am humbled and really touched by the outpouring of love (and concern - I saw that thread and yes, I'm doing okay) from not only you guys, but everyone at the studio as well.

I wanted to take some time to call out people personally, but I swear this would turn into a Tolstoy novel so I'll try and be brief. (Ha ha - good one!)

Positron, especially, has been my partner in crime for the last few years at Paragon as my role in the company leveled up. He has cheered me, infuriated me, made me laugh, borrowed my fridge, made me laugh again, and been a great friend and resource as I navigated the waters of Lead Design and then supported me as I transitioned into Production and taking over CoH. He also sat right next to me, so I got my fair share of Matt-isms and "That's what she said's" (and now, he has a t-shirt to prove it).

We joked that one day we'd start one of two podcasts: "What did Melissa buy today? (Personally, I don't see the problem, I was just trying to keep the economy alive one purchase at a time) and the other would be the "Behind the Scenes at City of Heroes". We probably would have been fired, but I think it would have made a fantastic television show. Our design meetings were the stuff of legends.

Every day, those of us who got in early walked to Starbucks and before the day of stress or busy-ness or fun started, we'd just laugh and joke and talk about whatever was on our minds: sometimes it was innocuous sometimes it was super important, like My Little Pony and how truly brilliant it really is, or how I can't expect people not to ruin the ending of Lost for me years after it ended, or what Wil Wheaton was talking about on Google+ last night.

Every Tuesday and Thursday, the guys would VOLUNTARILY go to a field and play Ultimate Frisbee, which, I can assure you - we have discovered - is quite a dangerous sport! We even attempted Tennis - hahahaha. I mean, that was fun.

You can hear Destin's laugh from anywhere in the building. It is signature and infectious. Apparently, you can hear my laugh anywhere in the city. (Which is why my husband doesn't like to go to comedies with me, but Doc Delilah and I have a GREAT time). Our whiteboards were the stuff of legends. SNACKANOIDS villain group, guys? Really??? I'll have to see if I can dig that picture up from somewhere.

Time and time again, I saw us pull together and (one of the motto's I came up with for my team) "git 'er done". There has been a lot of that since Going Rogue launch. I watched people on different teams come together to help each other. The studio is what we were working on, not just one project or discipline. That was important because it showed an understanding that we're not just City of Heroes, but Paragon. And it really showed, right up until yesterday and continues in spirit as we move forward.

I can honestly say, I would work with any one of these people again and my respect for every single person at the studio is strong and unwavering.

I don't want to leave this on a sad note, even though I am obviously heartbroken about this. I'm sure one day very soon this will fully hit me. I am going to miss the love and support and the passion of the players and the studio because this amazing adventure proved to me that Can't Lives on Won't Street and that following your dreams, well, sometimes it takes you to some pretty fantastic places so I HIGHLY encourage it. "No" is sometimes just a few letters away from "Not yet".

So remember us as you play and know that we will not forget you. I may not know you individually, some of you I do, but I am truly grateful for every single one of you. You are and have always been the reason we worked so hard and you gave us so much by playing our game. I wish I could express in words what that means, but I can't.

I have so much more to say, but at some point, it just becomes repetition, so I'll close it out here. Thank you, my gosh, everyone, for everything. You have been a wonderful and beautiful adventure over these last 10+ years. I learned more than I ever thought possible and I made some really wonderful friendships along the way. At the end of the day, that is what I take away from this.

Can't regret a second of it, it has been too fun. I just wish it lasted another ten years.

Thank you, all!

Melissa

Im really sorry if my criticisms or occasional rages seemed like I disliked Paragon Studios at all WW. It was more just a symptom of how much I actually -liked- this game. Thanks for being a part of it.

(:O FPARN FINALLY)

It was a pleasure to meet you at the Omega Sektor event in Birmingham (UK) 4 years or so ago.

Gangrel

*dammit, was going for my 2nd FPARN!*

Here's hoping you land on your feet.

You made us a great game.

Thank you.

You gave us a world where we could fly. I can't thank you enough for that.

*hugs*

... Now I'm gonna cry again, thanks!

It really was a fun ride. Good luck to you and everyone at Paragon Studios. <3

Hopefully everybody at Paragon Studios and their families land on their feet, going forward. If you've been working at a special place, and it sounds like you have been, then that's a great starting point for finding the next gig.

This was a very good game and it got better over time. Obviously, Paragon Studios deserves credit for those numerous improvements.

Thanks for everything, it was an awesome ride!

Best of luck to you. I'm sorry you all have to go.

Hey Melissa, remember me? We met at the Omega Sektor meet in Birmingham some years back, before NCSoft closed down the UK office.

Like many, I'm completely gutted, and utterly dumbfounded, at NCSofts decision to axe City of Heroes; but nothing upsets me more than the fact that the livelihoods of a lot of very hard working people, people who've given me 7+ years of fun, have been lost.

I wish there was something I could do, something I could say, that would take the sting out of this thoroughly heartless decision, but at the end of the day, all I can really do is say...

Thank You. Thank you for 7+ years of fun. Thank you for coming over to the UK to visit us folks and have a really good time. Thank you for taking note of the bugged Supatrolls and getting them fixed! Thank you for endless jokes scattered throughout the game.

Just.... Thank you, and all the best, to everyone at Paragon Studios.

I'm honestly tearing up again so I'll keep this short. I can't properly express everything I'm feeling at this moment...

Thank you for everything, Melissa. You've always been fantastic in every way and it's the fact that we had people like you on the Developer Team that made this game so awesome. As I've said again and again, you all deserve better than this. I wish you all the best wherever you happen to go in the future and perhaps, someday, we'll meet again. Never lose hope.

You're totally awesome.

Thank you for the fun game.

Thank you for giving us your heart and souls for this game, it really showed. I hope all of the dev team prosper in the future.

Thank you for the 8 years of wonderful adventures!!! Best time EVAR

You are a talented bunch and I have zero doubt you will be snapped up in a heartbeat. I will miss you and this game, greatly.

Thanks again to you and all the other devs/marketing people!

Thank you for giving us that ride in the first place. You, and all of you at Paragon.

I wish you all the best of luck, and that our paths might cross again. (I'm following you on Twitter, WW. And several other reddies. ;P)

Thanks for the game, thanks for the fun, but most of all, thanks for the memories.

This game...
This "game" that you guys created...

Was more than just another "game".

Because, I've played other games, and they are just that... games.

But this?
No, THIS "game"... was something special.

It was always obvious from your continuing interaction with your playerbase, that you all put your hearts and souls into this so-called "game".
And in doing so, it became much, much, more.

So, Thank YOU, so very much.
It's been incredible...
(yes, I'll say that even though I've groused about bases and incarnates).

Really.
Awesome "Game"... You all got it.

Thanks for coming to Omega Sektor and meeting us rabid EU players in a weekend of pizza and crazy.

Thanks for the game that I love.

Thanks... just thanks. Go on and be awesome.

As for me? Never give up, never surrender. Today I began work on creating a setting where my characters can live on and have new adventures with enemies and friends.

PS: I hope the walking goes well! I remember asking about it and causing a tangent on one of the community chats.

Melissa, don't know if you remember the Wedding Incident - when the guys were having disconnect problems and we all had to stand around for a lot longer than they intended the wedding process to go on?

You and I wore the same skirt.

Met you at the meet n greet before the official ones started up, such a blast.

You and the other devs really do exemplify what should be aspired to by the rest of the developers of games these days. You have grace, intelligence, wit, and style, and most of all humor and humility. It's a rarity (is she your favorite pony?) these days.

Be sure to drop by the facebook pages and such, tell us where you all wind up. You must contribute to something, and make it better for your presence.

Thank you so much warwitch...*hug* comic wise you and synapse were my favorite characters haha. *tears up*