Another award winning NPC phrase...

Zekiran_Immortal · 11-13-2005 12:00 AM

I had one guy in Cap tell me, "two bucks? That's all you got in your wallet is two bucks? Take it back, I don't need it." (or words to that effect)

Please read my FEAR/Portal/HalfLife Fan Fiction!
Repurposed

ShadowVulpine · 11-13-2005 12:07 AM

Civillian: "Let me guess. Your name is "Dark" something."

Huron · 11-13-2005 12:08 AM

Npc's playing Dice on the Nerva Docks:

"IIIII am the champion.....my friend......"

"Can play" is not a binary. It's a float.
There are some pretty low values of "can play" out there.
--Fulmens

The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off

Lazarus · 11-13-2005 12:30 AM

Was just doing the 'Deliver Citizens to Vahzilok Surgeons" mission. When walking up to one of the victims, who was being held up by Skulls, he said "I swear, I didn't say 'Kill Skulz!'"

Zauberi · 11-13-2005 01:17 AM

Demolitionist in Sharkhead Isle: It's DYNO-MITE!

War Witch · 11-13-2005 01:32 AM

LOL I'm glad you guys are enjoying the dialogue. It's pretty wild to see something we thought was kind of cute while writing it make this list. Some stuff I wrote, I laughed out loud. Then I told someone and they kind of cocked their head and went, "Yeah...I mean that's amusing, but...it's not wildly funny or anything."

I was just cackling over this thread with Josh, who wrote the Luddite / Gold Bricker stuff and the rest of the dialogue for Cap au Diable (with some input from Capn Mako). (No, he doesn't have a cool board name yet.)

We're like, "That's hysterical. Did you write that one?"

"Yeah, that one was mine."

"You're brilliant."

"No YOU'RE brilliant."

"No YOU are."

"Okay, I'm brilliant."

And so on and so forth.

Thanks for compiling these. It's great fun to see you guys appreciate our humour.

The mission writers did some great work, too. They're responsible for all the dialogue you see IN the missions.

War Witch

"The challenge of leadership is to be strong, but not rude; be kind, but not weak; be bold, but not a bully; be thoughtful, but not lazy; be humble, but not timid; be proud, but not arrogant; have humor, but without folly."
(Jim Rohn)

Abalest · 11-13-2005 02:14 AM

Freaks in Shaper Cult Story Arc:
"Aw, Man! Why do we keep falling into these patterns of self-destructive behavior?"

My Motto: "Debt is merely another Goal."
"Wow Abalest--you manage to start a discussion even when you ain't given a topic" -Ghostman

Abalests on Infinity:
Miss Fulcrum
Dark Soul Golem
Power Drain

Guardsman · 11-13-2005 02:59 AM

[ QUOTE ]
I liked the mission where you drop in on a 'deal' between the Freaks and the Skyraiders, and at the end you find this Freakshow boss dancing around next to a Skyraider commander saying:

"C'mon! Flying Freaks! It'll be awesome!"
"Are you serious?"
"Just weld a rocket to my back and let's do this!"

[/ QUOTE ]

..that's great. What contact was it from?

iammachine · 11-13-2005 03:11 AM

Nemesis Automatons - "i....i..... need those T.P.S. reports *bzrt*"

V-Tron · 11-13-2005 04:25 AM

In Kidnap Jack Emmet Newspapper mission

Jack Emmet : "Statesman! Manticor? Positron? oh Crap V-Tron X!"

almost died from the ambush i was laughing so hard

V-Tronix - Angry Angels
V-Tron Elec/EM - V-Tron X EM/EA

To Build a Better Hero #53098 [Newly edited and looking for Feedback] - Renegade Robots: V-Tron's Task Force # - A Summer Song and A Winters Tail #104106

Gideon_F · 11-13-2005 06:51 AM

Wolf Spider Enforcer: I have a weapon pointed at a man's head and I'm in the middle of an interrogation. Did it ever occur to you that MAYBE trotting past like an elephant could be considered an intrusion?

Course he considered a Rage assisted Knockout blow intrusive too.

(Virtue/Champion) Neil Fracas: Inv/SS
(Virtue) Gideon Fontaine: MA/SR (Sc), Generic Hero 114: Ice/Cold, Marcus Tyler AR/En, Project F: Spines/DA (S)
(Champion) Jenna Sidal BS/SD, Generic Hero 114: En/En (Bl), Loganne Claws/WP (Sc)

UncleSlam · 11-13-2005 07:14 AM

This was a mission box from when I first entered a newspaper mission:

There's nothing better than this kind of job. No crates to look through. No hostages to escort through winding mazes. Just go in, beat the snot out of some loser, and leave. Glorious!

Thought that was pretty funny. And very true.

Captain_Intrepid · 11-13-2005 07:16 AM

I liked the Hellion Girlfriends dialogue. Always wondered if these gangs had an female groupies....

'Do you think anyone can see us with these Hellions guys? I bet they're so jealous!'

A Captain from the Sky Raiders (while I was in their area in Sharkhead Isle while in Beta, mind you there was a typo): 'I know I should back toe the latrine, but it's so much fun to teleport in and scare everyone.'

Miss_Kitty · 11-13-2005 07:23 AM

One skull talking to another in Mercy...

"Our membership has its pleasure, its hardship, and sometimes its pain."

Not hilariously funny, but it did prompt me to beat the ever living crap out of both of them. Poor guys.... they wouldn't have gotten taught a lesson if some people didn't happen to write clever dialogue.

SchroedingerCat · 11-13-2005 07:45 AM

i only remember:

"so a rabbi walked into a bar.."

boss telling joke to a henchman in a door mission.

SchroedingerCat

Memphis_Bill · 11-13-2005 07:52 AM

Yay, War_Witch posted, and we have a new Miss Kitty avatar. This is a good thread.

Some I've run across...
Mission opening: (something) puts you in a bad mood. People don't like you when you're in a bad mood. Of course, they don't like you when you're in a GOOD mood either.

Then there's the Hellion ... meh, I forget his name, you get a book from him for Mr. Bocor. When you beat him, all he can say is... "Oh."

"Quit complaining, back in my day we had to uase a hammer to break into things."

Rocketman: Midas promised me a pound of chocolate for every 'rachnos helmet I turn in.

[NPC]Joshua: Please don't do this. I've got kids. Well, not really, but I'd like to some day.

[NPC]Rocketman: Score! That's eleventy billion you owe me now!
[NPC]Ruin Mage: By Batz'Ul's beard, will no one rid me of this meddlesome villain?!
[NPC]Reaper: Business is brisk in the extreme makeover business.
(Yep, Log Chat: Enabled helps )

And personally - yeah, it's not NPC, but I'm happy I finally got my first "You're sick" for my sociopathic stalker's nursery rhymes as she does her job...

See my Guides and Tutorials

Janlee · 11-13-2005 08:21 AM

[ QUOTE ]
This was a mission box from when I first entered a newspaper mission:

There's nothing better than this kind of job. No crates to look through. No hostages to escort through winding mazes. Just go in, beat the snot out of some loser, and leave. Glorious!

Thought that was pretty funny. And very true.

[/ QUOTE ]

I screen captured some of my favorites .

Sometimes, I impress my boss. Sometimes, I impress myself. The rest of the time, I scare people. I can live with that.

CyberOwl_ · 11-13-2005 08:34 AM

From an NPC I clicked on: I would cower in fear, but my back is killing me. Maybe later.
Or something like that.

Mekkanos · 11-13-2005 08:46 AM

From a group of NPCs warming themselves by a barrel with a fire on top in Cap: "The fire's getting kind of low. I guess I should go get some more Luddite pamphlets."

So, some people actually DO take the pamphlets, although not quite for the purpose that the Luddites hoped.

My arcs:

Title: Blitzkrieg
Arc ID: 3416

Title: Soldiers of Fortune
Arc ID: 4431

Title: The Rikti Accession
Arc ID: 278757

Snorii · 11-13-2005 09:30 AM

I can't remember the NPC name, but he is a named villain in the first Bat'Zul mission. (Not Bat'Zul but one of those bat demon guys)

He says something like "I'm going to burn you, Villain_name." Then after you defeat him, he says a simple "Oh".

The Dark Blade
"I've felt your mouse on me before, you perv...." - Troy Hickman
Paragon Wiki

Fugitive · 11-13-2005 10:18 AM

My fav and most random was something along these lines:

Obviously insane, scraggly-looking homeless man: "You are the coolest! Giant pumpkins!"

Idioteraser · 11-13-2005 10:38 AM

It was the unique hellions boss with his own unique bio. He is actually one of the cool hellions. Has an interesting head aura. It's in Mr. Bocor's story arc.

Now there are groups of lost warming themselves by the fires. You hear them say"sure is cold tonight" When you agro them they say "We don't share!"

Makes me lose all sympthany for the plight of the homeless. It's why you shouldn't feel pity for beating the snot out of the Lost.

Mr E-Man · 11-13-2005 10:50 AM

Here are a couple lines from Professor Echo that I thought were cool:

"That's a bit more painful than I anticipated."

and my favorite:

"I'm going to have to spend all day in a tissue regenerator now."

Mr E-Man ~ Mr E-Villain
XBL GamerTag: il Radd

shogunshonuff · 11-13-2005 11:03 AM

We should rename this the "Villains love War Witch thread"...

Necrosis · 11-13-2005 11:07 AM

[ QUOTE ]
This was a mission box from when I first entered a newspaper mission:

There's nothing better than this kind of job. No crates to look through. No hostages to escort through winding mazes. Just go in, beat the snot out of some loser, and leave. Glorious!

Thought that was pretty funny. And very true.

[/ QUOTE ]

The mission briefing I liked was something like

"This is a nice office. I mean, it won't be nice when you're through with it, but it's nice right now."