Another award winning NPC phrase...
By
Abalest,
Posted on: 2005-11-09 17:08 in CoH and CoV General Discussions
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We're like, "That's hysterical. Did you write that one?"
"Yeah, that one was mine."
"You're brilliant."
"No YOU'RE brilliant."
"No YOU are."
"Okay, I'm brilliant."
And so on and so forth.
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That right there is total Bendis dialogue.
From a civillain walking around in Port Oakes: No really! I LOVE it here! 
Also: Lovley. Another wannabe.
LOL! Random click on a NPC in PO: Moo. hilarious...Also: This isn't "Good Bye", it's just "I'll never see you again"
ALso:Rule one
on't ask questions. Rule twoon't ask questions. Any questions? man this is funny.
A few of my favorites (paraphrased as I didn't get a chance to jot them down)...
"[Villain_Name]! What the crap are you doing here?" (It will actually censor it with the profanity filter on! Hilarious!)
"We're not recruiting or anything if that's what you're...oof!"
Mission text:
"You idiots deserve everything I'm going to do to you! You didn't even lock the front door!" (Isn't it amazing how these "secret hideouts" are so easily gotten into? lol)
And, of course, the whole "Jake Emmet" mission is plain-out funny.
Edit: Forgot one. It's a Goldbrickers thing where they're playing dice (I guess) and one says to the other, "That's eleventy billion you owe me now!" Haha!
Clicking on random NPCs as they walk around is an absolute obsession of mine now, it's how I spend my time when waiting for teamates to sell/train/whatever. The Devs really outdid themselves in CoV!
In Cap au Diable:
NPC: Dr Aeon is the coolest! Giant pumpkins rock!
Totally different NPC: I hate Dr Aeon! Who needs giant pumkins?
I've heard a few Goldbrickers make different references to chocolate now...I have a friend who is convinced that King Midas pays them only in candy bars.
"Sure, every once in a while weird metal things try to kill me. But it's a Union job so I get comp pay for this." - PTS Worker, probably not exact.
I got this from a Tanker Boss before I took him down for the count. Looks like he's related to the same Freakshow heroes get the PWNZ from in CoH(Teh PwNxxorz.)
Teh PwNxxorz's brother and his reply before he gets beat up good.
[Beta Testers]Zombie Man: Harlot is Swan's nickname too. And Dominatrix. And Sister Psyche. And Mynx. And Bobcat. And Synapse.
Best one for me:
Mission: Rescuing the hacker HaXX0R
HaXX0r: I RoXX0r in my BoXX0rs! 
Thisisnothappeningthisisnothappeningthisisnothappe ning
punctuated more or less like that, Arachnos computer tech as you take him to his computer to get some codes.
X will be so jealous, she's only dating the drummer.
Hellion Girlfriend
It's true. This game is NOT rocket surgery. - BillZBubba
My favorite NPC quote of the day is
"those circle jerks!"
"Mmmmm. Smashing time."
Best. Mission. Intro. Ever!
Hellion girlfriends are a goldmine, but my all-time favorite from them is the following. Now, keep in mind this came from a girl hanging out with a level 6 Hellion:
"My mom kept telling me I'd go nowhere with my life. She was soooooo wrong!"
Of course, there are some fun random comments involving villain names that cause me to superspeed into walls, etc.
"I overheard two Mooks talking about Disembowlment, and they didn't sound happy."
Best mission title:
"Defeat Typhoid Willy"
Went through my logs...
[NPC]Boomer: Call my lawyer. I'm about to get myself in trouble.
[NPC]Arachnos Technician: So I said, sorry pal, I don't do windows! Get it? Get it?
[NPC]Wolf Spider Enforcer: No.
[NPC]Wolf Spider Huntsman: I don't get it either.
[NPC]Arachnos Technician: Thisisn'thappeningthisisn'thappeningthisisn'thappe ning!
[NPC]Luddite Friar: Figure 1 shows the difference between a 'Good Protest' and a 'Bad Protest.'
[NPC]Luddite Smasher: Read that last bit again.
[NPC]Aberrant Rector: Cold day today.
[NPC]Scrounger Slugger: Bit of a cold snap coming off the water.
[NPC]Luddite Friar: Mere protesting is not enough... Dr. Aeon's thugs are powerful, but we will show them the wrongness of their ways!
[NPC]Luddite Brawler: Get to the bit about how it's all Dr. Aeon's fault!
[NPC]Hellion Girlfriend: So I think we should totally tell our guys that rhinestones on their jackets would really spruce them up!
[NPC]Graffiti Artist: No one understands the poignancy of my work.
[NPC]Wolf Spider TacOps: Snakes. I hate Snakes.
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Ace McKnight had one of the best at the end of his cutscene:
"Hey, it's <villainname>! How's it going buddy? Let me introduce you to my friends in Longbow."
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I think the best part of that for me was that when he turned and said that, he gave you a nod and a thumbsup. I laughed outloud, it was so perfect.
While exploring St. Martial just to see what was there, I came upon some particularly interesting lines. I don't think that they were exactly like this but they're close.
The first one came from a Family thug who was, along with a few others, standing around an unfortunate level 15 Mook with his feet in a barrel: "Just say something about 'sleep' and 'fishes' and get this over with."
Another one was from a Tsoo Ink Man who was being held at gunpoint by some Arachnos: "I didn't think it would end like this, man." I don't know why, but that sounds particularly funny coming out of the Tsoo.
Also, getting a phone that had Captain Mako on speed dial in a newspaper mission was funny.
My arcs:
Title: Blitzkrieg
Arc ID: 3416
Title: Soldiers of Fortune
Arc ID: 4431
Title: The Rikti Accession
Arc ID: 278757
An NPC in Cap Au Diable: Nutripaste is people! NUTRIPASTE IS PEOPLE!
Inside Monkey Fight Club:
Joe Young: I hear that they train them to go kill skulz.
Joe Young: I miss the all time champ - Skinny Jim. Never was the same after he learned sign-language.
@Jimmy Amp
Currently working on:
Jimmy Crush - Kin/Regen Scrapper
"Life writes the best scripts."
After reading this thread I had to find some of my own. Here are a few favorites.
"If I had a coin for every time some newb tapped me on the shoulder looking for answers I'd be be rich."
"The Circle thinks Arachnos is in league with their ancient enemies. Some group of losers called the 'Moo.' Maybe they're cow men?"
"WSPDR has a story about demons running amok in St. Martial. The story got killed though because demons is bad for tourism."
"There are two kinds of villains. Successful ones. And your kind."
This is also a typo I saw:
"Some say the Arachnoid mutants were created by Longobow."
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Hellion girlfriends are a goldmine, but my all-time favorite from them is the following. Now, keep in mind this came from a girl hanging out with a level 6 Hellion:
"My mom kept telling me I'd go nowhere with my life. She was soooooo wrong!"
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I heard a Hellion Girlfriend say to another: "So my guy is a lieutenant, what about yours?"
The Skulls spray painting walls are hilarious to listen too, as well.
"Wasn't this here before?"
"Yes, you're brilliant. You're a genius. Can we hurry this up?"
"Hey, can your brilliant self give me a hand here? We got incoming?"
Hellions playing dice: "You realize this is no fun for me if you keep winning, right?"
Skulls breaking into a house: "I don't suppose anybody cares that I have a key to this place?"
Arc #41077 - The Men of State
Arc #48845 - Operation: Dirty Snowball
My favorite wasn't what they said but what they did. I came across a group of Family in Port Oakes along one of the docks. After beating them up I noticed something jumping around behind some crates. I saw this guy his hands tied behind his back and his feet stuck in a bucket jumping all over the dock. I was laughing so hard that some Lost nearby almost killed me. I watched him hop around for a while before taking my screeny and puttin him out of his misery.
Another good one from the Wailers.
Wailer King: "Hail to the king baby!"
Almost spitup the drink from that one. Darn you Mission programmers.
Caught this one running by didnt see who said it
Canadian Joe: looks like its abooot time to head to the pub
So far my favorite phrase came from someone as i was tearing around in bloody bay avoiding pvpers.
"You look, I use the walkie talkie. It's called rank, noob."
I was laughing so hard i superjump crashed right into a huge mob of shivans, and barely got away.