Another award winning NPC phrase...
By
Abalest,
Posted on: 2005-11-09 17:08 in CoH and CoV General Discussions
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My favorite so far was walking by a Penumbra Elite Assault talking to his troops said "you guys are 33% less accurate than you were last month, whats up with that?"
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This would be hilarious if it was so depressing. My fave phrase was from a skull graphitti artist in Mercy who said, something to the effect of, while shaking a can of spray paint:
"Street by street, block by block, we'll change this town...DARN, I'm outta paint."
I've seen so many of these and I agree...they all have me cracking up A LOT while playing, which is wonderful! The mission intros are something I look forward to now, which I don't remember ever being true before...and I don't remember which boss it was, but a mission last night had him saying as I approached something like:
"We're not ready for Kalamity! There's been talk that she's the Chosen One!"
I laughed and almost forgot to attack for a second.
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The mission writers did some great work, too. They're responsible for all the dialogue you see IN the missions.
War Witch
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Well then who did the singing Freakshow in one of Operative Vargus (? The first operative in sharkhead) missions... I saw that and just stood there laughing as he kicked my [censored].
My favorite NPC saying is: Did your mom dress you this morning? Another one: Longbows, Arachnos, whats the difference? They've all got guns. Another: There is SUCH a fine line between stupidity and clever. AND: I don't know why they call it "Mercy Island". They sure didn't show me any.
You wanna go someplace? Ferries and choppers pal. Ferries and choppers. Or those two legs you got there.
"This is so much better than standing in burning oil slicks!" --A hellion cheering as a house burned in Mercery Island. That comment actually saved his life. I was positioning for an assassin's strike when I happened to read the NPC dialog box.
Besides, there was a Ripper a little ways away that was much more deserving of my attention.
Dr. Vahzilok: You're brilliant.
Nemesis: No, you're brilliant.
Dr. Vahzilok: No, really, you're absolutely brilliant. Stunning. A true gem of intellect.
Nemesis: Aww... seriously though, you've got brains as well as beauty.
Dr. Vahzilok: Really? Positron says I need some ab muscles, but he still loves my bedroom voice.
Nemesis: Uh....
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LOL I'm glad you guys are enjoying the dialogue. It's pretty wild to see something we thought was kind of cute while writing it make this list. Some stuff I wrote, I laughed out loud. Then I told someone and they kind of cocked their head and went, "Yeah...I mean that's amusing, but...it's not wildly funny or anything."
I was just cackling over this thread with Josh, who wrote the Luddite / Gold Bricker stuff and the rest of the dialogue for Cap au Diable (with some input from Capn Mako). (No, he doesn't have a cool board name yet.)
We're like, "That's hysterical. Did you write that one?"
"Yeah, that one was mine."
"You're brilliant."
"No YOU'RE brilliant."
"No YOU are."
"Okay, I'm brilliant."
And so on and so forth.
Thanks for compiling these. It's great fun to see you guys appreciate our humour.
The mission writers did some great work, too. They're responsible for all the dialogue you see IN the missions.
War Witch
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I like the Luddite one that says "Does this mean I can't use my PSP anymore?"
My Arcs:
Unbearable Funk #3573
Tale of the Creatures From Another Forbidden Planet #97983
My Deviant Art Page
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He says something like "I'm going to burn you, Villain_name." Then after you defeat him, he says a simple "Oh". 
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Sadly, somewhere between beta and retail they _broke_ multiple-line statements from NPCs.
"Duke" Mordragor rants "You will burn! You will ALL burn!" and then as he slumps to the ground, "Oh. Ow. Okay, you got me."
Similarly, the Herald of Bat-Zul croaks out "There is no mercy. There is only... ashes..." as he collapses.
DEVS FIX THIS!
--GF
Up with the overworld! Up with exploration! | Want a review of your arc?
My arcs: Dream Paper (ID: 1874) | Bricked Electronics (ID: 2180) | The Bravuran Jobs (ID: 5073) | Backwards Day (ID: 329000) | Operation Fair Trade (ID: 391172)
ROFL!!!
I can't believe that made it into the game. Do they not get the double entendre? lol
This thread is great. I keep laughing out loud and my wife is starting to think I'm crazy. Heh.
Huh? I said that at the end-of-beta event (as Doppler)...lol.
If that is an NPC thing, that's kind of cool.
All i have to say is all the NPC dialogue is not ignored (as this thread proves), personally I've found a ton of the NPC chat immersive and often just down right hysterical.
The "kidnap Jake Emmet" mission was awesome, I took a screenshot of my chat window hoping to share the text with others but the SS came with no interface (oops!).
Great stuff gals and guys, keep it up!
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I liked the mission where you drop in on a 'deal' between the Freaks and the Skyraiders, and at the end you find this Freakshow boss dancing around next to a Skyraider commander saying:
"C'mon! Flying Freaks! It'll be awesome!"
"Are you serious?"
"Just weld a rocket to my back and let's do this!"
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Loved that one 
Freakshow Guy- Hey you down with it?!
Nemesis Guy - Yes Nemesis is in fact "Down with the streets" we know how to "Break it Down" as it where.
Slasher champ - A hero! thats like 50 points!
Freaks are Hilarious!
Heard in Warburg: a member of a small group trying to break into yet another car with a crowbar says something to the effect of..."Coulnd't we just break out a window or something?"
Sorry my favorite is still the city councilman who when you rescue him says:
"I hate getting kidnaped by supervillains" like it is part of his job description.
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You can't please everyone, so lets concentrate on me.
I ran across this one in Sharkhead Isle
Wolf TacOps "I have a weapon pointed at a man's head and I'm in the middle of an interrogation. Did it ever occur to you that MAYBE trotting past like an elephant could be considerred an intrusion?"
Flying over the Arachnos base in St. Martial:
Arachnos: I don't care if it's loaded or not. If I see you waving that gun around again, I will squish you.
Hey! Thanks again for all the kind words. The Zone and Mission Designers here are *brilliant* and really bring the world alive. Just like you guys and gals I find myself getting whacked constantly because I'm too busy reading their text. :P
My favorite--and I say it all the time now in response to just about anything I feel like--is "I like pie." You'd be surprised how far that will get you. Try it next time you're at lunch, getting a speeding ticket, or are asked to do something really technical (my favorite).
When Jack got the Jake Emmet mission the first time, the model was...not flattering. It's random within a group of male, casual NPCs which one you get, so there's nothing I can do about it! 
(I did all the newspaper missions, dialogue, entry text, etc.) I still seem to have my job though. Must be those pictures of Statesman and Recluse having tea and crumpets* together...
Captain Mako
(*What the heck are crumpets anyway?)
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(*What the heck are crumpets anyway?)
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Quite tasty but hard to describe, sort of like a muffin, but not.....err... they've got lots of holes in them to soak up butter and jam.
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Just like you guys and gals I find myself getting whacked constantly because I'm too busy reading their text. :P
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See, that's why I made a tab just for NPC dialog. It lets me go back and read what they said after I beat them senseless.
Of course, it's been fairly embarrassing the few times I found out they were just asking me what time it was. 
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When Jack got the Jake Emmet mission the first time, the model was...not flattering. It's random within a group of male, casual NPCs which one you get, so there's nothing I can do about it! (I did all the newspaper missions, dialogue, entry text, etc.) I still seem to have my job though. Must be those pictures of Statesman and Recluse having tea and crumpets* together...
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The first time I got this mission, Jake Emmet was a... dumpy, grey-haired man. I thought it was hilarious (due, of course, to being nothing like him in real life!) and laughed. I was disappointed when he was a svelt black man on my next run-through.
I'm hoping one day to see him as a Mekman.
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(*What the heck are crumpets anyway?)
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They're a type of English tart.
What? Oh, sorry, I thought you said "strumpet".
So far my favorite was a mission in Sharkhead.
Wormy's being interrogated by a couple of Longbow agents carrying a bodybag over his shoulder.
Longobow Minigun: Hand over the evidence, Wormy!
Wormy: What? It's just my... laundry! Yah, that's it! Laundry!
At the end of the mission when you've brought Wormy to the door...
Wormy: That does it! I'm through with this racket!
And he throws the bodybag at your feet. Priceless.
I think my favorite so far (other than the PSP one) has got to be said by a Rikti hostage you liberate from the Longbow (weenies.)
"Situation Assessment: Lame"
Regards,
Captain Head Explody
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"WSPDR has a story about demons running amok in St. Martial. The story got killed though because demons is bad for tourism."
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That is actually referring to a story arc.