Ten Coolest Swords in Geekdom....

Hopefully Glamdring and Orcrist will get some billing in the new Hobbit movies. Speaking of which, I don't think the LoTR movies ever showed Gandalf's sword glowing like Sting did (other than when it was struck by lightning), which seems like an oversight. Or am I forgetting something?

Sting is pretty cool, though. They should have had Bilbo do what he does in the book: stab it into a massive wooden beam and pull it right back out. That's a pretty good sword, in my book.

I... have never heard of ANY of those things before this thread.

Ha! I was waiting for someone else to say it first!

I am unafraid of losing "geek cred." Muahaha!

See, and all these years I thought I was the only one that watched that show.

You don't know the Gray Mouser?

Don't walk, don't run -- use your mission port power to get to the library or bookstore and get some of Fritz Leiber's Swords... series of books.

Fafhrd and the Gray Mouser are old-school swords&sorcery protagonists with a surprisingly modern, almost cynical, understanding of their world, as they resist being manipulated by the schemes of others. These are foundational texts in fantasy literature.

Kids today... *shakes head*

I agree...GET OFF MY LAWN!

And Deja Thoris is the Princess of Mars in Edgar Rice Burroughs's John Carter series, which they're making into a movie.

Except it's Disney so no naked princesses.

(sigh) Yeah.

Those video game historical/mythological references haven't really changed much since the 8-bit days. Muramasa, Masamune, Kaladbolg, Longinus, Gram, Mjolnir, Gungnir, etc. aren't a recent video game fad. Besides which, given their historical/mythological presence, we'd likely be aware of them anyway.

True, however, the prominence of many of these names has changed as well as how they are perceived in geek culture.

Certainly, there are names that have been prominent throughout all of geekdom, Excalibur, for instance. And several of these legendary weapons have some historical counterpart they derive from. However, was Muramasa or Masamune a common name during the 60's or 70's at the height of PnP gaming's popularity? It's easy to say that these names were well known to a 90's kid like myself via their presence in hallmark games like Castlevania and Final Fantasy.

Anyway, the general point that I have not so clearly communicated is this: geek culture is multi-faceted and ever changing.

Hmmm I recognise this passage from Deities and Demi-gods

On a side note: Deities and Demi-gods is responsible for a surprisingly large number of people believing Norse mythology has no healing in it. Weird the number of people I have heard say this

Best weapons in fiction or some such? That could be fun.

I was running a War Earth mission the other day and mentioned on a global channel that the mission suffered from a distressing lack of Ookla. No one knew whom I meant.

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I found this list a bit odd. While I, personally, have little or no use for anime or manga or the numerous video games influenced by them, I'm a bit surprised they didn't mention even one sword from one of those sources. Idiotic as I think it looks, that overblown and mummified sword carried by that spiky-haired guy from Final Fantasy (I think) seems to resonate among a larger population of geeks than does, say, the Black Knight's Ebon Blade, even though I much prefer the latter myself.

You have my eternal devotion and loyalty for this statement. The Belgariad and Malloread are the best books ever written (in my humble opinion). Although, to be honest the sword itself wasn't the power... it was the Orb of Aldur that really gave it its claim to fame.

I am saddened that we didn't get a Steelclaw top ten list here.

Fine... sheesh...

Top Ten Legendary Geek Swords

10) Hammerdrange : Epic letter opener in the shape of a six inch sword wielded by Eric Freebenhuesen in his cubicle as an IT guy in a business in Toronto. Eric would mess around with the sword regularly when he was too bored to do anything else. Such "warrior training" led to his boss becoming known as Walter "One-Eye" Stoltz.

9) Bob : Max Greenwell loved his swords, but wasn't the most imaginative guy in the world.

8) Titan's Sledge : Legendary blade sought after by the wiley (if spindly) Timothy DeWinters, who insisted on a Scottish Claymore that was an exact replica of that carried across the Moors of medieval Brittania. Upon receiving it he swore an oath to take it to the very next Renaissance Faire.

7) Short Sword of Forgotten Dreams : Blade Timothy had to settle for instead when, after several failed attempts, he discovered he couldn't lift Titan's Sledge so much as an inch off the floor.

6) PickAxion the Greater : When a young Steelclaw and his best friend were 12 years old they would often go into the woods where they would pretend to be great lords, using sticks and branches as swords to do battle upon one another. One day, the friend selected a pick axe handle of pressure treated wood as his "blade"; this was PickAxion the Greater. As they fought, Steelclaw's friend got a little over-aggressive and cracked Steelclaw in the skull with said blade, knocking him to the ground and nearly unconscious. When, several blurry seconds later, Steelclaw looked up, his friend was some 30 yards away... peeking around from behind the protection of a tree... asking "are you okay?" (true story)

5) Piddy Slayer : A katana of elite manufacture and sharpness; a true masterwork among weapons. Unfortunately, it was cursed to only end up in the hands of clumsy nerds and geeks who thought they could handle it. Inevitably, as though guided by destiny itself, it would earn its name as owner after owner tried to twirl it about only to drop it... while wearing flip-flops.

4) Buster Sword: Although named after the original over-sized mega-blade after which it was modeled, the GEEK version of the Buster Sword more appropriately gets its name from the damage done to hallways, windows, doorways and furniture when its owners tried to maneuver it through their parent's house and into the basement.

3) Friend Slayer : John Havocade was really, really, really, REALLY sorry after the accident.

2) Blade of the Bereft : Willie Bubbowski of Alabama was a geek through and through but grew up among his deep southern crimson-necked brothers. He tried to follow both his callings but the local police were more understanding of rifles hung in the rear windows of pick up trucks than broadswords. After the fifth time they confiscated his sword, he didn't even bother paying the impound fee to get it back.

1) Rapier Wit : Eddie Harroway owned a rapier with which he would often pr*ck his brother, then later his room mate when the mood struck him. Since it was what he used it for most often, he decided to name it just that. One day, against all laws of common sense, he took the rapier to work. He was fooling around with it in his cubicle when a female co-worker, not able to see over the wall, asked him what he was up to. "Just playing with my Pr*ck," he said without thinking. His first court hearing is next Tuesday.

*slow clap*