Oi! Paragon Studios! You have a long ways to go!


beyeajus

 

Posted

Lookee here, Paragon Studios is getting some rave reviews. Check out this guy over here and this lady posting this. I don't even know who this person is, but they are all on about your game.

But me? I consider my job to keep things balanced. I've done it before, and I'll do it again. Now, I've gone through and made a laundry list of bugs, glitches, and fixes that need to be implemented before I'll even acknowledge that you're light years away from Brock, the true master.


So listen up and grab some coffee. Some people call me a troll. I call me honest.

  • Too much dialogue. I don't care about this "morality" junk. Everyone is targetable. That was cool until you started justifying different view points. It made my mind think hurt and I got angry and logged into an unrelated game just to ragequit. You want a story? Here's your story: That guy's HP is a lockbox that's keeping you from Experience. GO GO GO.
  • Matt Miller's shirt in the Vid Docs is an odd shade of yellow. It would not go with my wardrobe. In fact, I'm not sure it goes in his. Now, some may say that the fact that my entire wardrobe comes from the clothes that fall out of the bags Good Will carries their donations in would negate my fashion critique. To them I say how do you know where I get my clothes?
  • When I kill someone, it still says "Defeated". I don't want "AxeMaster BloodFesting" to "Defeat" someone. If we change our stances, we should be able to change our victory messages. I want "You have melted the face of your enemy through the sheer power of rock and roll" to appear in each defeat.
  • Face melting.
  • Automatic grammar check. Look, this is America, and America doesn't futz around with schoolin'. It's why we're ranked the 11th in the best countries in the world. So the social expectation is too high. When I type something, I want a program that figures out what I -meant- to say and post that instead.
  • Up the team max to 9. I've done everything I can with 8 person teams and need variety. Why are you stifling our creativity still!?
  • Why the **** do we have a profanity filter!? Are you ******* serious about this!? Who the **** cusses in the game, anyway!? Your patronizing attitude that we will swear is ******* **** and you should be ashamed.
  • War Witch keeps talking about taking things to the next level, but our level cap is still 50. Are she and I playing different games!?
  • Sexy Jay is rather sexy. He gets no complaints from me. He can rock on with his bad self.
  • Castle doesn't return my calls anymore.
  • No Big Red Ball. Oh yes, I won't forget.
  • Not enough pandas.
  • Praetor Duncan looks like some cheap knockoff of Ms. Liberty. You even placed her in the same spot! Geeze, how lazy can you people be!?
  • The box to this game isn't scented. I'm fairly certain its law that all games be either dipped in Old Spice or Axe Body Spray unless you get the "Chick Edition", which costs 25% less and is scented like flowers and condescension.
  • Seriously, Castle, was it something I said?
  • You allow people to make lists that stopped being funny after the first point. If you want to foster a true community, you'll reign in on the unfunny posts.
  • You nerfed my Spi0erm4n character. I suppose you're going to make up some excuse about being a character rip off. I'm sorry, but as far as I'm concerned, There's no 7eter 7arker in Marvel comments. Maybe a "Peter". Learn to Spell. BackAlleyBrawler sucks at ticket arbitration.
  • So, even in Praetorian Earth Cole can't afford a back to his helmet? Did he, like, only have half the INF for the recipe?
  • Your sheer number of badges is breaking my immersion. Everytime I got a badge, I imagine my Super Strength Tanker collapsing under the sheer weight of them.
  • Castle, I can change. I... I can change.

So, until you take care of these, I'm giving the game an F TRIPLE MINUS!!!111 This expansion is a disaster, and I'm going back to MARS.

Sincerely,

Marcian Grubb

((Edit: Okay... which one of you red names changed the last word to "MARS"? Well played. Well played. ))


 

Posted

...


bababadalgharaghtakamminarronnkonnbronntonner-
ronntuonnthunntrovarrhounawnskawntoohoohoordenenth ur-
nuk!

 

Posted

Well played! Now pass me some of that funky **** you're smoking...



Clicking on the linked image above will take you off the City of Heroes site. However, the guides will be linked back here.

 

Posted

Nothing's been the same at Paragon Studios since old Marley died.




:P


Global: @MomentaryGrace
Servers (to date): Liberty (primary), Infinity, Protector, Virtue, Justice, Pinnacle
MA Arc: ID #143659 "Visit Scenic Arcadia!"
MA Holiday Arc: ID #346847 "Yule Laugh, Yule Cry (Yule kiss a happy holiday good bye!)"

 

Posted

Quote:
Originally Posted by Marcian Tobay View Post
I'm going back to MARS.

Sincerely,

Marcian Grubb

And if thats what people from mars are like..dont come bk ty


 

Posted

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr_HR View Post
And if thats what people from mars are like..dont come bk ty
They changed it. I mentioned a competing MMO as a lil jab. The Seers saw to it, which I didn't see coming.


 

Posted

Maybe we should just start using various planets in our solar system to reference other MMOs. I mean, Mars is sort of a close rival to Earth, yes? And we all know what Jupiter would be.


 

Posted

Quote:
Originally Posted by Street_Wolf View Post
Maybe we should just start using various planets in our solar system to reference other MMOs. I mean, Mars is sort of a close rival to Earth, yes? And we all know what Jupiter would be.
I kind of figured that would be Uranus.


 

Posted

Quote:
Originally Posted by momentary_grace View Post
Nothing's been the same at Paragon Studios since old Marley died.




:P
Oh! Well played good sir! Let me grace you with some positive rep...

DOH!



Clicking on the linked image above will take you off the City of Heroes site. However, the guides will be linked back here.

 

Posted

Trying to figure out if you're trolling, posting honest opinions, joking or trying to start a revolution/civil war. /whysoserious?


to TO THE END!
Villains are those who dedicate their lives to causing mayhem. Villians are people from the planet Villia!

 

Posted

I'm trying to figure out why I read the OP.

Morbid curiosity?
I got nothing.


"I used to make diddly squat, but I've been with the company for 16 years and have had plenty of great raises. Now I just make squat" -- Me

Pediatric brain tumors are the #1 cause of cancer related deaths in children.

 

Posted

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bystander View Post
I kind of figured that would be Uranus.
That joke is so 20th century.

Quote:
Originally Posted by cursedsorcerer View Post
Trying to figure out if you're trolling, posting honest opinions, joking or trying to start a revolution/civil war. /whysoserious?
That's the brilliance of Kaufmanisms


 

Posted

Quote:
Originally Posted by Marcian Tobay View Post
[*]Too much dialogue. I don't care about this "morality" junk. Everyone is targetable. That was cool until you started justifying different view points.
I was worried by that, too, and then I noticed that they'd helpfully labelled the alignment mission choices in all caps, so all I really had to do was read two words and click one of them, then kill stuff just like normal. Whee!

(Two whole words is still kind of harsh, though. I made a post-it note with the right word, and stuck it on the monitor so I don't get confused.)


Arc#314490: Zombie Ninja Pirates!
Defiant @Grouchybeast
Death is part of my attack chain.

 

Posted

I lol'd. good post Tobay.


 

Posted

Quote:
Originally Posted by Grouchybeast View Post
(Two whole words is still kind of harsh, though. I made a post-it note with the right word, and stuck it on the monitor so I don't get confused.)
So the developers expect us to go buy post-it notes now!? I'm filing a ticket right now. Gonna photocopy a receipt and fax it to 'em. I expect them to take it out of monthly subscription.


 

Posted

Not to mention, all of this new cool visual stuff is very tiring to look at. I'm used to maps and missions where I know the entire map at a glance, and don't have to think or even LOOK at stuff. Looking at stuff slows down my game, and causes strain to my eyes and brain. I wandered around Praetoria for fifteen minutes just LOOKING at stuff, and in all that time I didn't gain any experience!!!!

If you're going to make stuff look so cool, you could at least reward us with experience for looking at it!



my lil RWZ Challenge vid

 

Posted

I'm adding that the forums are going down hill. It seems SteelClaw has hacked Marcians account. Nothing is sacred anymore.

(Nice job Marcian. Lols and +rep)

//Jack


The Kickers base.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
-Groucho Marx

 

Posted

Owie my laughing hurts *keels over wheezing*

<3 <3 <3


 

Posted

Quote:
Originally Posted by beyeajus View Post
I lol'd. good post Tobay.
I concur.


total kick to the gut

This is like having Ra's Al Ghul show up at your birthday party.

 

Posted

It's so bad, it's a slap in the face!!




((Yes, yes I went there ))


Quote:
Originally Posted by Zwillinger View Post
GG, I would tell you that "I am killing you with my mind", but I couldn't find an emoticon to properly express my sentiment.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Captain_Photon View Post
NOTE: The Incarnate System is basically farming for IOs on a larger scale, and with more obtrusive lore.

 

Posted

Quote:
Originally Posted by Marcian Tobay View Post
  • Matt Miller's shirt in the Vid Docs is an odd shade of yellow. It would not go with my wardrobe. In fact, I'm not sure it goes in his. Now, some may say that the fact that my entire wardrobe comes from the clothes that fall out of the bags Good Will carries their donations in would negate my fashion critique. To them I say how do you know where I get my clothes?
Why do you think "Positron" colored his power armor pee stain yellow? And that radiation emission / rad blast has that mountain dew'ish tint on it as default?

I think someone needs to be handed 2 yellow cards for the above and for singing "we all live in a yellow submarine" at paragon studios.


 

Posted

Quote:
Originally Posted by Marcian Tobay View Post
[*]Face melting.
This, right here. This must be included!