Favorite NPC chatter!


Aett_Thorn

 

Posted

One of my favorite things in this game is glancing down at my chat window and seeing some funny thing a nearby NPC said, so I thought I'd share some of my favorites. How about sharing yours?

Random gang member in the Hollows (probably an Outcast or Skull): "No, I didn't call you stupid. I said your comment was an oxymoron. It's a rhetorical figure in which incongruous or contradictory terms are put together. Am I the only one who reads the books we swipe around here?"

Hellion Girlfriend: "My mom, like, said I wouldn't do anything with my life. She was soooo wrong."

Wolf Spider Enforcer, in Faultline: "What say we go grab a hero later and toss him off a cliff? Just make sure it's a super speeder."

Bone Daddy: "I'm gonna do a B&E on your face! Wait, that sounded wrong."

Panhandler outside AE building: "Help a guy get into college so I can work here and do cool stuff, too."

Another panhandler outside AE building: "What? You got enough money to hang out here all day not working, but you can't spare a buck?"

Wolf Spider Enforcer: "I already told you. When you're me, you can use the walkie talkie."

Wolf Spider TacOps, fashion consultant: "So now you've committed two crimes, hero. Tresspassing on Arachnos space and that outfit!"

The Invincible Axios: "The scene was horrific. The city burning, meteors streaking through the sky. Bodies everywhere. Luckily, I've got a strong stomach."

Out-of-place chatter in Cimerora from Servius Abericus: "Whoa, freaky. I heard the Council took some guys off the street and turned 'em into vampires or somethin'!"


 

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Lieutenant: "I assure you, my good man, that Nemesis is most definitely 'down with the street.' Word up, my homie."


"If I had Force powers, vacuum or not my cape/clothes/hair would always be blowing in the Dramatic Wind." - Tenzhi

Characters

 

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The one that brought an entire Rikti invasion group to a teamwiping fit of laughter...

Arbiter (the one down by the Grandville ferry): "All aliens must form an orderly line for entry processing."

To see THAT come across the NPC chatter as Rikti are teleporting in around us... we were all just howling.

Michelle
aka
Samuraiko/Dark_Respite


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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mister Rik View Post

Random gang member in the Hollows (probably an Outcast or Skull): "No, I didn't call you stupid. I said your comment was an oxymoron. It's a rhetorical figure in which incongruous or contradictory terms are put together. Am I the only one who reads the books we swipe around here?"
I was going to post that one! The one I copied came from a Blood Brother Brawler.

Here's an NPC exchange from inside a rescue mission:

[NPC] Dr. Frank N. Scott: I won't tell you a thing.
[NPC] Guide: We already know that the ritual begins with a jump to the left.
[NPC] Galan: Yes, and then a step to the right.

[NPC] Guide: Dr. Scott! Electric-Knight!
[NPC] Dr. Frank N. Scott: Electric-Knight!
[NPC] Galan: Electric-Knight! Dr. Scott!

[NPC] Dr. Frank N. Scott: If they'd pried that ritual from me, it could have opened a time warp, or worse!


@Zethustra
"Now at midnight all the agents and the superhuman crew come out
and round up everyone that knows more than they do"
-Dylan

 

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Doc Buzzsaw: "Oh, what has science wrought? I sought only to turn a man into a metal-encased juggernaut of destruction powered by the unknown properties of a mysterious living crystal. How could this have all gone wrong?"


Questions about the game, either side? /t @Neuronia or @Neuronium, with your queries!
168760: A Death in the Gish. 3 missions, 1-14. Easy to solo.
Infinity Villains
Champion, Pinnacle, Virtue Heroes

 

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"Nice costume"

always makes me happy until I realize it is an NPC


 

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My favorites will most likely always be the lines from alien that the sky raiders spout off.


 

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This one made me laugh out loud when I first saw it in AE:

Architect Patron: This is the third time my mission 'Statesman's Furry Adventure' was rejected for violating the terms of service.


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Death is part of my attack chain.

 

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Quote:
Originally Posted by dugfromthearth View Post
"Nice costume"

always makes me happy until I realize it is an NPC
I had a howling fit of laughter when a rescued civilian said this to a now-deleted toon of mine, 2 Po 4 Mo. He was a blaster with a techy-looking helmet, gauntlets, boots and utility belt... and underwear. Nothing else.


Where to find me after the end:
The Secret World - Arcadia - Shinzo
Rift - Faeblight - Bloodspeaker
LotRO - Gladden - Aranelion
STO - Holodeck - @Captain_Thiraas

Obviously, I don't care about NCSoft's forum rules, now.

 

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A couple from today:

I charge into a group of Skulls with the Time's Juncture toggle on (a -run, among other debuffs). Instantly, one of them shouts "Don't run!"

...

Gee, ya think?..

And not so much dialog, but a funny (in context) emote, in a Stop the Bank Robbery mission (not safeguard), one of the Lost sitting on the floor just outside the vault, panhandling...

As our room mate said: "robbin' banks? ur doin' it rong..."

And from one of the wandering civilians in Port Oakes (iirc): "Is that costume a copyright violation?"


Where to find me after the end:
The Secret World - Arcadia - Shinzo
Rift - Faeblight - Bloodspeaker
LotRO - Gladden - Aranelion
STO - Holodeck - @Captain_Thiraas

Obviously, I don't care about NCSoft's forum rules, now.

 

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dark_Respite View Post
The one that brought an entire Rikti invasion group to a teamwiping fit of laughter...

Arbiter (the one down by the Grandville ferry): "All aliens must form an orderly line for entry processing."

To see THAT come across the NPC chatter as Rikti are teleporting in around us... we were all just howling.
Hah! I am slain!

Kinda reminds me of the toll booth scene in Blazing Saddles - "Somebody's gotta go back and get a ****-load of dimes!"

Quote:
Originally Posted by Electric-Knight View Post
Here's an NPC exchange from inside a rescue mission:

[NPC] Dr. Frank N. Scott: I won't tell you a thing.
[NPC] Guide: We already know that the ritual begins with a jump to the left.
[NPC] Galan: Yes, and then a step to the right.

[NPC] Guide: Dr. Scott! Electric-Knight!
[NPC] Dr. Frank N. Scott: Electric-Knight!
[NPC] Galan: Electric-Knight! Dr. Scott!

[NPC] Dr. Frank N. Scott: If they'd pried that ritual from me, it could have opened a time warp, or worse!
Oh man, I just did that radio mission yesterday. I completely missed the first parts and only caught Dr. Scott's last line, so totally missed the joke

I can't find the screenshot now, but I saw a funny one in one of Meg Mason's missions in the Hollows. Couple Trolls talking while they were guarding some crates, went something like this:

Troll #1: "Trolls the best! We got crates! Trolls got best crates!"

Troll #2: "Seriously, Charlie, why do you keep talking like that? You've been off the Superadine for months. It's getting really annoying!"


 

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Desperate guy and Turn down girl in Pocket D. Don't know the lines by heart but she rips him a new one lol.


The development team and this community deserved better than this from NC Soft. Best wishes on your search.

 

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Dr. Aeon: Ah-ha-ha-ha!
You 'Stupor-powered' fools have fallen into my brilliant trap! Allow me to explain:
That portal didn't send you to a secret base, instead it sent you into the future, where my Web device has allowed Lord Recluse to conquer the world!
Mwha-ha-ha!
But don't worry, fools! I've made arrangements to have you captured by some of Arachnos's operatives here in the future. Like Regent Korol,
Magus Mu'Drakhan,
Shadow Spider,
And Viridian,
Each has part of the code needed to open this door:
And set this portal to send you back to the present:
So just sit tight and wait to be taken prisoner.
And whatever you do, don't even think about fighting them!
There's no way you could win, so don't even try it!
I can't believe I just told them how to escape like that!
Okay, just erase this recording and we'll start again.

Bane Spider Executioner: Uh, sir?

Dr. Aeon: What?

Bane Spider Executioner: Uh... You said you wanted to transmit this, uh, live...

Dr. Aeon: AAAAH! Shut it off! Shut it off!

From STF/MLTF


to TO THE END!
Villains are those who dedicate their lives to causing mayhem. Villians are people from the planet Villia!

 

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Shock Treatment's dialogue in the Old Russian Ballad tip mission (quoted from paragonwiki):

Bane Spider Commando: ...
Shock Treatment: You'll die for the sake of my toaster!
Bane Spider Commando: You're out of your mind!

Upon rescue:
You fight on behalf of my toaster?
Huh? Nullifier Gun?
I'm just here to get some vengeance for my utilities!
But I guess if you're here too, I could tag along. Let's upset the established order!
For my toothbrush!

This always provokes a response somewhere between "WTF..." and shaking my head while chuckling.


 

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These came with the Atlas revamp:

- Worried Citizen: I dropped a twenty and the wind blew it away. When are you police going to do something about the wind around here?

- Reporter: Can you describe the meteors?


 

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Triplash View Post

- Reporter: Can you describe the meteors?
"Um. Big, flaming. Most likely made of rock."

"What kind of fire?"

"... The hot kind?"

"So, statesman, you find fire to be sexy?"

"What? No."

"Then fire is ugly!"

"I didn't say tha-"

"STATESMAN IS AN ARSONIST!"


 

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucretia_MacEvil View Post
Shock Treatment's dialogue in the Old Russian Ballad tip mission (quoted from paragonwiki):

Bane Spider Commando: ...
Shock Treatment: You'll die for the sake of my toaster!
Bane Spider Commando: You're out of your mind!

Upon rescue:
You fight on behalf of my toaster?
Huh? Nullifier Gun?
I'm just here to get some vengeance for my utilities!
But I guess if you're here too, I could tag along. Let's upset the established order!
For my toothbrush!

This always provokes a response somewhere between "WTF..." and shaking my head while chuckling.
I love pretty much anything Shock Treatment says. She's deliciously insane.

Also, much love for Becky the Tarantula Mistress:

Like, Ohmigawd! Character! We are so gonna totally rock now!
Like, I have always SOOO wanted to meet you!
And now we can like, totally fight together and all sorts of stuff.
All the other Fortunatas were all TOTALLY like 'Tarantula Program? Eeew!'
And then they were like, 'Like, what are you thinking, Becky?'
And I was totally like 'I'll get to meet all kinds of interesting people and stuff.'
And look, here I am, like, totally fighting alongside YOU!
This is even better then when I worked with Silver Mantis.
She's, like, totally uptight, until you get to know her, y'know?
But this is sooo much better than that.



...I forgot what experience means.

 

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Some of my faves that always make me chuckle:

[NPC] Freakshow Student: D00d, thanks for the save. I happen to like my face and having it torn off would suck.

[NPC] Short Fang: So he says to Ghost Widow, 'No, go screw yourself.' She just fixes him with this cold glare and puts her hand through his chest. Loser died. No teleporter, no nothin'. Spookiest thing I ever saw...

[NPC] Luddite Friar: Well, science has invoked many ills upon society...
[NPC] Luddite Brawler: Does this mean I have to throw away my PSP?

[NPC] Ben: I'm hoping they come up with a Healix actiion figure! She deserves it!

And from Dillo:

AHA-HA-HA! You are full of the correct, *hoorb*

'Changing truth on a hairless headfront' (bald-faced lie)

"*hoorb* Prepare for posterior repercussion! " (butt-kicking)


�Many things worth doing in the world had been declared impossible before they were done.�

 

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In front of the donut shop in Faultline:

SWAT Officer: This is the best place ever.

(Way to go stereotyping cops!)

Also near the donut shop:

Scrounger Brawler: How many cops do you think are in there? One good spray of gunfire and we take out half the force in this city.


to TO THE END!
Villains are those who dedicate their lives to causing mayhem. Villians are people from the planet Villia!

 

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Also in Faultline.

Wolf Spider Enforcer: What say we go grab a hero later and toss him off a cliff? Just make sure it's a super speeder.

Not cool, Arachnos. Not cool.


to TO THE END!
Villains are those who dedicate their lives to causing mayhem. Villians are people from the planet Villia!

 

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Outcast: No man, I'm telling you, HE GOT THE PURSE! I saw it myself!


It's the end. But the moment has been prepared for ...

 

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Redlynne View Post
Outcast: No man, I'm telling you, HE GOT THE PURSE! I saw it myself!
Pics or it didn't happen.


 

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mad Grim View Post
Pics or it didn't happen.
There's one spawn somewhere of a Skull (I think) holding a purse and just going "MINE! MINE! MINE!"


"Men strunt �r strunt och snus �r snus
om ock i gyllne dosor.
Och rosor i ett sprucket krus
�r st�ndigt alltid rosor."

 

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The Luddites have some of my favorite lines, but the best one, I think is:

"I'm glad you asked. No, non-violence does not mean, 'knives only.'"


Let me never fall into the vulgar mistake of dreaming that I am persecuted whenever I am contradicted.
~Ralph Waldo Emerson

"I was just the one with the most unsolicited sombrero." - Traegus

 

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One of my favorites was actually from a Slag Golem ambush.

"We are Slag Golems and we are attacking!"