Pessimist's Guide to Issue 16

I must say I am disappointed in my fellow forumites. So far the announcement of Issue 16 has been met with resounding approval from you all.

Are you sick? Maybe not feeling your usual selves?

Where's the doom and gloom, people!? Fine. Normally I only list silly bits of humor and the like. But this overwhelming approval requires some sort of balance. Since the usual nay-sayers seem to be asleep at the switch it falls to me.

Potential problems with Issue 16:

Since issue 16 is looking pretty good… I figured I’d help our pessimistic Forumites out there by providing a list of things to complain about:

• What?! I thought Issue 16 was s’posed ta be Goin’ Rogue! What’s this Spectrum thingy?! Shenanigans! SHENANIGANS!!

• Blue, pink, green… so what? Until I can have my fire blaster shoot Green and Purple Plaid Flames out of his butt while Yankee Doodle plays as a sound effect in the background this isn’t MY version of power customization!

• Oh come ON! When are they going to give Stalkers Fire Aura?! ‘Cuz nothing says invisibility to me like bright orange flames!

• Umm… so I’m running the Issue 16 beta for the first time.. I figured I’d test the new difficulty settings.. jacked up both to the maximum allowed… but when I entered the mission there wasn’t a ton of bad guys.. just one.. Nemesis dressed in bib overalls… he says he’s going to make me “squeal like a pig”… umm… is this working as intended?

• I upped the difficulty to the max and the Atlas Statue just animated and threw the ball at me.

• I think there’s a glitch in the difficulty settings; I was able to manually enter “0” into all the fields and now when I just walk into the door everything in the map dies and I get the Mission Accomplished message. I wonder if this is what being Blue Steel feels like?

• We need to be able to set our personal view of other people’s powers to Standard! I just played with a guy who was running a force fields/radiation blaster with a shield of every day-glo shade imaginable and rad blasts to match. You need to either let us shut off that stuff or start supplementing my migraine medication costs.

• Okay… so explain something to me… some dude decides to run a Pink Ice Defender… and now *I* have to be the one to suffer for it?!

• Willpower can be colored? Interesting possibilities there… Blue Willpower: Can’t decide between Hefty Smurf or a Blind Soul Singer.. Black Willpower: Captain EMO!! Green Willpower: Made from 100% recycled Will!

• I don’t think my computer likes the combination of colors I just chose for my powers… my graphics card just burst into flames.

• So I have to look at other people’s choices for their power colors, huh? Most compelling argument for buying a black and white monitor that I’ve ever heard.

• Why can’t I choose Invisible as a color? I want my enemies to be confused as to why they’re taking damage.

• Hey, what’s with this disclaimer on the City of Villains creation screen? “You can now choose ANY color for your villain’s powers… as long as it’s black or a shade of red.”

• Yeah… that’s hilarious… you’re the 6th Thermal Defender today to cover me in pink fire and make “Flamer” jokes.

• So what am I supposed to call my Dark Miasma now that it’s flamingo pink?

• I shall create a dark/dark stalker.. I shall make him the shortest height available.. I shall color all his defensive powers electric blue… and I shall call him “Little Blue Fuzzy Thing” (old Howie Mandel joke reference)

---

My mind wanders so often you've probably seen its picture on milk cartons. - Me... the first person version of the third person Steelclaw

This better be the ONLY negative post for Issue 16

---

[ QUOTE ]
• Umm… so I’m running the Issue 16 beta for the first time.. I figured I’d test the new difficulty settings.. jacked up both to the maximum allowed… but when I entered the mission there wasn’t a ton of bad guys.. just one.. Nemesis dressed in bib overalls… he says he’s going to make me “squeal like a pig”… umm… is this working as intended?

[/ QUOTE ]

You win the Internet... again.

And yes, it's working as intended. Good luck!

---

Agua Man lvl 48 Water/Electric Blaster


"To die hating NCSoft for shutting down City of Heroes, that was Freedom."

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
• Umm… so I’m running the Issue 16 beta for the first time.. I figured I’d test the new difficulty settings.. jacked up both to the maximum allowed… but when I entered the mission there wasn’t a ton of bad guys.. just one.. Nemesis dressed in bib overalls… he says he’s going to make me “squeal like a pig”… umm… is this working as intended?

[/ QUOTE ]

You win the Internet... again.

And yes, it's working as intended. Good luck!

[/ QUOTE ]

LOL! Did someone just sticky this?

Seems mods have a sense of humor afterall.

---

Blazara Aura LVL 50 Fire/Psi Dom (with 125% recharge)
Flameboxer Aura LVL 50 SS/Fire Brute
Ice 'Em Aura LVL 50 Ice Tank
Darq Widow Fortune LVL 50 Fortunata (200% rech/Night Widow 192.5% rech)--thanks issue 19!

[ QUOTE ]
Why can’t I choose Invisible as a color? I want my enemies to be confused as to why they’re taking damage.

[/ QUOTE ]
I know this is a joke but we don't actually know how transparency will be handled.

---

"You don't lose levels. You don't have equipment to wear out, repair, or lose, or that anyone can steal from you. About the only thing lighter than debt they could do is have an NPC walk by, point and laugh before you can go to the hospital or base." -Memphis_Bill
We will honor the past, and fight to the last, it will be a good way to die...

I'm sorry, we ran out of doom...

---

That blue thing running around saying "Cookies are sometimes food" is Praetorian Cookie Monster!
Shoot on sight, please.

Only Doom is that this isn't on test NOW.

---

The City of Heroes Community is a special one and I will always look fondly on my times arguing, discussing and playing with you all. Thanks and thanks to the developers for a special experience.

Steelclaw wrote:

[ QUOTE ]
Potential problems with Issue 16:

[/ QUOTE ]

You know, complainers like you that find fault with everything are why there's so much doom and gloom on the forums!

To quote Obsidious' quote, Lighten up, Francis.

--NT

---

They all laughed at me when I said I wanted to be a comedian.
But I showed them, and nobody's laughing at me now!

If I became a red name, I would be all "and what would you mere mortals like to entertain me with today, mu hu ha ha ha!" ~Arcanaville

[ QUOTE ]
Steelclaw wrote:

[ QUOTE ]
Potential problems with Issue 16:

[/ QUOTE ]

You know, complainers like you that find fault with everything are why there's so much doom and gloom on the forums!

To quote Obsidious' quote, Lighten up, Francis.

--NT

[/ QUOTE ]

Are you being serious?

---

The City of Heroes Community is a special one and I will always look fondly on my times arguing, discussing and playing with you all. Thanks and thanks to the developers for a special experience.

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Steelclaw wrote:

[ QUOTE ]
Potential problems with Issue 16:

[/ QUOTE ]

You know, complainers like you that find fault with everything are why there's so much doom and gloom on the forums!

To quote Obsidious' quote, Lighten up, Francis.

--NT

[/ QUOTE ]

Are you being serious?

[/ QUOTE ]
I knew if I waited long enough this problem would resolve itself...

---

My mind wanders so often you've probably seen its picture on milk cartons. - Me... the first person version of the third person Steelclaw

Hang on, Toasty. Did you read the post? You've confused me.

Besides, the only Potential problems with Issue 16 is that they weren't able to come up with a good antithesis to Kinetics. *Wins today's obscure joke award*

---

Get the bucket, Ma, I caught another one!

--NT

---

They all laughed at me when I said I wanted to be a comedian.
But I showed them, and nobody's laughing at me now!

If I became a red name, I would be all "and what would you mere mortals like to entertain me with today, mu hu ha ha ha!" ~Arcanaville

Post deleted by Steelclaw

---

My mind wanders so often you've probably seen its picture on milk cartons. - Me... the first person version of the third person Steelclaw

*post made irrelevant by deletion of bad pun*

---

I like it!

---

I predict a lot of Dennis Learyesque rants about "whatever happened to fire-colored fire?" And pull up your pants!

---

Eva Destruction AR/Fire/Munitions Blaster
Darkfire Avenger DM/SD/Body Scrapper

Arc ID#161629 Freaks, Geeks, and Men in Black
Arc ID#431270 Until the End of the World

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Steelclaw wrote:

[ QUOTE ]
Potential problems with Issue 16:

[/ QUOTE ]

You know, complainers like you that find fault with everything are why there's so much doom and gloom on the forums!

To quote Obsidious' quote, Lighten up, Francis.

--NT

[/ QUOTE ]

Are you being serious?

[/ QUOTE ]

I really don't think so. Maybe?

Also, the devs should put an Atlas Statue in Praetoria's version of Atlas Park that does, in fact, become animate and throw the Earth at people. Because it'd be awesome, that's why.

---

BackAlleyBrawler: I can't facepalm this post hard enough.
ShoNuff: If sophisticated = bro-mantically emo-tastic, then I'm going to keep to my Shonen loving simplicity dammit.

The complaining won't start in earnest until we can get our hands on it and come up with the most migraine-inducing color and power combinations possible.

Which should take about two minutes after launch because I know I can't be the only one who views customization as a way to grief my fellow players . . .

---

I have a complaint....

I think this will now lead to me thinking up many more Character ideas... a lot more... like i have to buy the max amount of slots on each server then after doing that i won't have any money.... thats the problem... im cheap...

other then that .... i love it...

to the op: pure and epic win

honestly.. can i haz beta now!

---

[ QUOTE ]
I predict a lot of Dennis Learyesque rants about "whatever happened to fire-colored fire?" And pull up your pants!

[/ QUOTE ]

Those rants will be balanced by those who are looking forward to finally getting electricity-colored electricity.

---

"Home is where, when you have to go there, they have to let you in."

[ QUOTE ]
• Oh come ON! When are they going to give Stalkers Fire Aura?! ‘Cuz nothing says invisibility to me like bright orange flames!

• I upped the difficulty to the max and the Atlas Statue just animated and threw the ball at me.

• I think there’s a glitch in the difficulty settings; I was able to manually enter “0” into all the fields and now when I just walk into the door everything in the map dies and I get the Mission Accomplished message. I wonder if this is what being Blue Steel feels like?

• We need to be able to set our personal view of other people’s powers to Standard! I just played with a guy who was running a force fields/radiation blaster with a shield of every day-glo shade imaginable and rad blasts to match. You need to either let us shut off that stuff or start supplementing my migraine medication costs.

• I don’t think my computer likes the combination of colors I just chose for my powers… my graphics card just burst into flames.

• So I have to look at other people’s choices for their power colors, huh? Most compelling argument for buying a black and white monitor that I’ve ever heard.

• Why can’t I choose Invisible as a color? I want my enemies to be confused as to why they’re taking damage.

• Hey, what’s with this disclaimer on the City of Villains creation screen? “You can now choose ANY color for your villain’s powers… as long as it’s black or a shade of red.”

• Yeah… that’s hilarious… you’re the 6th Thermal Defender today to cover me in pink fire and make “Flamer” jokes.

• So what am I supposed to call my Dark Miasma now that it’s flamingo pink?


[/ QUOTE ]

*laughs until tears run down her cheeks*

Steel, you may have just given me the script for my I-16 teaser (if I come out of retirement).

Michelle
aka
Samuraiko/Dark_Respite

---

the doom meter agrees.

shudders uncontrollably at

fade in creepy music

[ QUOTE ]
Other features to be announced.

[/ QUOTE ]






edited for more doom

---

Kittens give Morbo gas.

QR.

[ QUOTE ]
• Umm… so I’m running the Issue 16 beta for the first time.. I figured I’d test the new difficulty settings.. jacked up both to the maximum allowed… but when I entered the mission there wasn’t a ton of bad guys.. just one.. Nemesis dressed in bib overalls… he says he’s going to make me “squeal like a pig”… umm… is this working as intended?

• I upped the difficulty to the max and the Atlas Statue just animated and threw the ball at me.

• I think there’s a glitch in the difficulty settings; I was able to manually enter “0” into all the fields and now when I just walk into the door everything in the map dies and I get the Mission Accomplished message. I wonder if this is what being Blue Steel feels like?

• Okay… so explain something to me… some dude decides to run a Pink Ice Defender… and now *I* have to be the one to suffer for it?!

• Willpower can be colored? Interesting possibilities there… Blue Willpower: Can’t decide between Hefty Smurf or a Blind Soul Singer.. Black Willpower: Captain EMO!! Green Willpower: Made from 100% recycled Will!

• I don’t think my computer likes the combination of colors I just chose for my powers… my graphics card just burst into flames.


[/ QUOTE ]

I have to stop drinking coffee when reading Steelclaws lists. Had to wipe the screen six times. Damn you! *shakes fist*



//Jack

---

The Kickers base.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
-Groucho Marx

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
• Oh come ON! When are they going to give Stalkers Fire Aura?! ‘Cuz nothing says invisibility to me like bright orange flames!

• I upped the difficulty to the max and the Atlas Statue just animated and threw the ball at me.

• I think there’s a glitch in the difficulty settings; I was able to manually enter “0” into all the fields and now when I just walk into the door everything in the map dies and I get the Mission Accomplished message. I wonder if this is what being Blue Steel feels like?

• We need to be able to set our personal view of other people’s powers to Standard! I just played with a guy who was running a force fields/radiation blaster with a shield of every day-glo shade imaginable and rad blasts to match. You need to either let us shut off that stuff or start supplementing my migraine medication costs.

• I don’t think my computer likes the combination of colors I just chose for my powers… my graphics card just burst into flames.

• So I have to look at other people’s choices for their power colors, huh? Most compelling argument for buying a black and white monitor that I’ve ever heard.

• Why can’t I choose Invisible as a color? I want my enemies to be confused as to why they’re taking damage.

• Hey, what’s with this disclaimer on the City of Villains creation screen? “You can now choose ANY color for your villain’s powers… as long as it’s black or a shade of red.”

• Yeah… that’s hilarious… you’re the 6th Thermal Defender today to cover me in pink fire and make “Flamer” jokes.

• So what am I supposed to call my Dark Miasma now that it’s flamingo pink?


[/ QUOTE ]

*laughs until tears run down her cheeks*

Steel, you may have just given me the script for my I-16 teaser (if I come out of retirement).

Michelle
aka
Samuraiko/Dark_Respite

[/ QUOTE ]

You will. You KNOW you will.

It is...inevitable.

S.

---

Part of Sister Flame's Clickey-Clack Posse

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
• Oh come ON! When are they going to give Stalkers Fire Aura?! ‘Cuz nothing says invisibility to me like bright orange flames!

• I upped the difficulty to the max and the Atlas Statue just animated and threw the ball at me.

• I think there’s a glitch in the difficulty settings; I was able to manually enter “0” into all the fields and now when I just walk into the door everything in the map dies and I get the Mission Accomplished message. I wonder if this is what being Blue Steel feels like?

• We need to be able to set our personal view of other people’s powers to Standard! I just played with a guy who was running a force fields/radiation blaster with a shield of every day-glo shade imaginable and rad blasts to match. You need to either let us shut off that stuff or start supplementing my migraine medication costs.

• I don’t think my computer likes the combination of colors I just chose for my powers… my graphics card just burst into flames.

• So I have to look at other people’s choices for their power colors, huh? Most compelling argument for buying a black and white monitor that I’ve ever heard.

• Why can’t I choose Invisible as a color? I want my enemies to be confused as to why they’re taking damage.

• Hey, what’s with this disclaimer on the City of Villains creation screen? “You can now choose ANY color for your villain’s powers… as long as it’s black or a shade of red.”

• Yeah… that’s hilarious… you’re the 6th Thermal Defender today to cover me in pink fire and make “Flamer” jokes.

• So what am I supposed to call my Dark Miasma now that it’s flamingo pink?


[/ QUOTE ]

*laughs until tears run down her cheeks*

Steel, you may have just given me the script for my I-16 teaser (if I come out of retirement).

Michelle
aka
Samuraiko/Dark_Respite

[/ QUOTE ]

You will. You KNOW you will.

It is...inevitable.

S.

[/ QUOTE ]

CUT. Geezus, people. Read the script.

That line was clearly 'It is... your destiny.'

Vader isn't going to like this, and I'm not the one telling him we changed his script! I saw what happened to the LAST guy. That's how I got this job!

---