Pessimist's Guide to Issue 16

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“Little Blue Fuzzy Thing” (old Howie Mandel joke reference)

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Howie Mandel told jokes? Were they funny?

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Hmmm... Blue Steel TF...

1. First mission... attack Blue Steel with everything you've got. If he thinks that maybe you could have delivered 1 point of damage (if he were a weaker alternative universe Blue Steel, say) then he might allow you to carry out a series of missions for him.

(When first implemented, first mission was to do one point of damage to Blue Steel... but mission could not be completed.)

2. Second mission: Defeat all enemies... in Paragon City. All of them.

3. Third mission: Patrol the world. (Unique map of entire world built to scale.)

4. Fourth mission: Go. Hunt. Kill Rikti. All of them. Everywhere.

5. Fifth Mission: When there are no Riki left, it's time to destroy their home planet, just to be sure. A footstomp should do it... or, since you're not Blue Steel, you may need to run a side mission to gather a planet-destroying weapon.

6. Good. Now that we've got the preliminary parts out of the way, we can get down to the real point of the task force....

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Of course, all of these missions have a 10 minute time limit.

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* I'm sorry.. I have to quit the team.. no... it's not that you disagreed with me... no it's not how you're leading the team.. but.. your defender put an orange force field around me.. and I'm wearing purple... dear gods man! You've made me CLASH!"

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Equation/Arbiter Fabulous will NEVER run out of material to 'critique', now.

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Cat: Are you crazy? We can't go in there!
Lister: Why not?
Cat: Orange with this suit?

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Kyten: I'm afraid he might get Gangrene.
Cat; You think i might get Gangrene? Green with Apricot, I think I can pull that off!

As is typical in one of these threads, I'm going to take on the role of someone who defends the Dev's choices no matter what. No. Matter. What.

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• Umm… so I’m running the Issue 16 beta for the first time.. I figured I’d test the new difficulty settings.. jacked up both to the maximum allowed… but when I entered the mission there wasn’t a ton of bad guys.. just one.. Nemesis dressed in bib overalls… he says he’s going to make me “squeal like a pig”… umm… is this working as intended?

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And? What's the problem here? I thought people wanted more "adult content" in this game. What's more adult than Nem playing out his Deliverance fantasies on the player community?

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• I upped the difficulty to the max and the Atlas Statue just animated and threw the ball at me.


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So? I'm happy that the Atlas statue throws that globe at my scrapper. Finally a GM that might give me some problems while soloing!

Furthermore, these two items I've quoted are much needed changes in the game, and I applaud the mighty-devs-who-shall-remain-nameless-as-I-wish-not-their-awesome-CYBER-wrath for having the guts and determination to see their vision through, despite the loud whines of a few naysayers.

Also. This thread is full of win.

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Lewis... Did you actually read the post?

We are talking about Steelclaw!!!

I got cramps from laughing on this!

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Sure. I'm just having fun too. I realize not everyone likes ketchup on their ice cream. I'm one of the weird ones.

Lewis

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“Little Blue Fuzzy Thing” (old Howie Mandel joke reference)

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Howie Mandel told jokes? Were they funny?

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Oh yes. Especially when he started improvising.

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“Little Blue Fuzzy Thing” (old Howie Mandel joke reference)

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Howie Mandel told jokes? Were they funny?

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Oh yes. Especially when he started improvising.

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The skit-in-question... at least as well as I can remember it.. realize that Howie did this "in character" with an odd voice (which I can reproduce perfectly.. heh.. yeah.. I do voices too.. My Alvin and the Chipmunks always makes people stare at me tho')

My name is Ernest... and I am one of Santa's Helpers.. and I am going to sing a christmas carol for you.. (points to an audience member) and you...

On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me.. one of those little blue fuzzy things..

On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me.. two of those green things with a piece of wood through it.. and that little blue fuzzy thing..

On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me... three black mushy things... and two green things with a piece of wood through it... and I had that little blue fuzzy thing..

On the fourth day of Christmas my true love gave to me... Nothing 'cause she died..

(crowd laughs)

That's not funny... she died... I was all alone.. and I felt so empty inside.. I had nothing left.. and I looked over yonder at my dresser...

Yonder was my dog and he was on the floor so I looked OVER Yonder at my dresser.. and everything I had in life was on that dresser...

I had three black mushy things.. and two green things with the piece of wood through it..

(after a bit of silence the crowd inquires about the little blue fuzzy thing)

I don't know where I put it.


Hmmm.. actually ignore that... it loses a lot in the translation.. if I ever meet you I'll do it (with voice) myself... maybe I'll throw in a Bobby joke for free (or at least minimal additional charge)

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• Umm… so I’m running the Issue 16 beta for the first time.. I figured I’d test the new difficulty settings.. jacked up both to the maximum allowed… but when I entered the mission there wasn’t a ton of bad guys.. just one.. Nemesis dressed in bib overalls… he says he’s going to make me “squeal like a pig”… umm… is this working as intended?

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I had a similar thought last night. Get into game, crank the diff to 11, and Castle appears in front of me stating, "Dodge this."



EDIT: Steelclaw, that whole post was incredible.

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Sorry, it is not inevitable, nor is it my destiny. It is a very strong possibility at this point, admittedly, but it is not certain.



Not the least of which is that all my spare time these days is going toward stuff that actually earns me money (finances are problematic for us right now). Regrettably, making COH trailers does not fit in that category.

Michelle
aka
Samuraiko/Dark_Respite

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That's too bad... You are a true artist.

I guess I won't send you that idea I had for an awesome battle scene where villains and heroes team up against a new powerful mutant villain all set to the song Black Hole Sun by Soundgarden...

Ah well...

Heh

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A lot of folks have asked me to make videos for them coz they have spiffy ideas - only problem is, they usually want me to make them for free.

*rueful laugh* Maybe I should have the forum take up a general collection - "Pay D_R to Make a Trailer for I-16! Donate a dollar and get your name in the end credits... donate five dollars and your toon gets a cameo... etc etc etc"

Yeah, right.

Michelle
aka
Samuraiko/Dark_Respite

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I would normally say "Establish a price list on your web site" as I know that many people would be willing to pay for the videos they've thought up. Indeed, web comic artists and other on-line artists do this sort of thing all the time. Art by commission is a time-honored tradition.

Unfortunately, I'm not sure you could do it legally. It would be different if you were creating your own characters/images/animations... but these videos use the City of Heroes engine and properties. At the very least you'd have to get NCSoft's permission to make a profit off your efforts.

That minor detail aside however, you have talent... and most people in our lovely Capitalist society would agree that you deserve to be paid for your efforts with that talent.

On the other hand, no one would, does or ever will pay me for one of my lists.

Sometimes I can't even give them away.

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I think you'd be a bit surprised at how many people'd volunteer. Especially if it's something you'd enjoy doing (which I think is likely).

Still, I hope things improve for you. If just so you get the time to actually do FUN projects, for the express purpose that they're fun, and not because you're getting paid to do it. Or at least that most of your pay projects end up being fun, as well.

...probably not going to stop us teasing you any, but it's meant with the best of intentions. At least on my end. Promise!

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Thanks, Yuri. This is (among other reasons) why I'd love to be able to work at Paragon Studios - I could crank out videos for the game as the day is long and it'd be my job!

"Show off the player archetypes in a video? Done!"
"Make players WANT to go back into the Shadow Shard? Done!"
"Make the Citadel Task Force and Positron Task Force look fun, interesting, and playable? Done!"

(You laugh at that last one, but I bet I could do it.)

But yeah, I need to win the $61M powerball so I could just make videos and not have to worry about bills and stuff and a real life job. *sighs*

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I would normally say "Establish a price list on your web site" as I know that many people would be willing to pay for the videos they've thought up. Indeed, web comic artists and other on-line artists do this sort of thing all the time. Art by commission is a time-honored tradition.

Unfortunately, I'm not sure you could do it legally. It would be different if you were creating your own characters/images/animations... but these videos use the City of Heroes engine and properties. At the very least you'd have to get NCSoft's permission to make a profit off your efforts.

That minor detail aside however, you have talent... and most people in our lovely Capitalist society would agree that you deserve to be paid for your efforts with that talent.

On the other hand, no one would, does or ever will pay me for one of my lists.

Sometimes I can't even give them away.

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Re: prices on my website, I'm working on that.

Re: using CoH's game engine for profit, if I knew who to ask, I would.

Re: you not getting paid for your lists... cash isn't exactly in huge supply for me right now, but should I end up making a teaser trailer for I-16, I will get one of your characters into it. Fair enough?

*****

Although I shudder to think of how many times I'd have to edit my democode now to remove the neon-orange glow people will be nailing me with while trying to film.

Michelle
aka
Samuraiko/Dark_Respite

Oh my... i cant let this thread die!!!

This is a shinny beacon on the gloomy forum these days!

Like the OP, I am biterly disappointed I cannot have plaid force fields. My concept for the Highland Bubbler is now fail.

Well, i wanted bubbling force field bubbles...

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You misunderstand..

I love the people who complain about the game.

I love the people who adore the game without ever questioning it or seeing any flaws at all.

I love the flaws in the game itself.

I love the perfections in the game.

I love the people who take the game too seriously.

I love the people who don't take it seriously enough.

I love optimism, pessimism, realism, schism and several other isms to boot.

I love the devs, the players, the supporters and detractors, red side, blue side and the upcoming Going Rogue Purple Side.

Why do I love these things?

Because I love to find the humor in things... and all these things are RIPE with it.

Now... if you think I'm laughing at you... You're wrong... What I'm really... REALLY trying to do... is laugh WITH you.

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Dear gods SC, that was about as close to poetry as I've ever seen here. Thank You.

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• I upped the difficulty to the max and the Atlas Statue just animated and threw the ball at me.

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Would so PAY to see that happen Be worth the debt!

Noooo....

This thread is dying and being buried by the others!!!

*cries*

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*post made irrelevant by deletion of bad pun*

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Take the Magic: The Gathering 'What Color Are You?' Quiz.

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But yeah, I need to win the $61M powerball so I could just make videos and not have to worry about bills and stuff and a real life job. *sighs*


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You think too small...

$1 To be in the credits? $5 to be featured? $61mil.?

Now get back out there and be a Graphic Artist for [censored] sake!

Honestly though, in a game where people are willing to pay $10 to get a handful of perks, I think having your name attached to credits should net you just as much. Welcome to stardom!

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"Make players WANT to go back into the Shadow Shard? Done!"


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There is nothing you can show me that will make me want to ever go back to the Shadow Shard. Nothing.

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"Make players WANT to go back into the Shadow Shard? Done!"


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There is nothing you can show me that will make me want to ever go back to the Shadow Shard. Nothing.

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Not even actual content? That would make me go back there. When they put in merit rewards, I started going back there whenever I could actually get a team for the TF because, while I loved the TFs (except Q-field), the reward was disproportionately bad.