Bo Bindel's Big-Time Diry
Bo Bindel
Resident Troll, Skyway City
MAY 19, 2005
SGT SEEKS SF
Single green Troll seeks single female. Fortune teller, magician or someone likely to be kidnapped by COT in next two weeks preferred.
BO BINDEL GOING TO ORANBEGA!
Occasional smoke/drink/married okay. Must be good with maps.
Bo Bindel's Big-Time Diry
Bo Bindel
Resident Troll, Skyway City
MAY 20, 2005
Bo Bindel recap for you now Bo Bindel's management style. How he get big-time sy-nr-gy going with Bo Bindel crew.
Bo Bindel talking business over the fence. Tell Momma Kody how Bo Bindel trying to pull off crime of century with crew of Dark Ages.
Momma Kody big-time school teacher. (She no have to worry 'bout COBRA benefit stuff.) When kids fight in school she give them time-out clock.
So, Bo Bindel take Momma Bindel's baking clock turn it into "Bo Bindel Crew Official Troll Time-Out Clock." Bo Bindel write it on clock so Beovark and Svrgyn no think we baking cookies. Get as far as B and O. (Bo write very big.)
Anyway, Beovark start complaining about how White-Knuckle Willy dating Beovark's ex-girlfriend and he no want to meet Family in Inde-whatever Port. Beovark getting mad just thinking 'bout it. Bo Bindel give him clock. Tell Beovark him got to sit quietly for 10 minutes.
Svrgyn say he gotta bust early. Got somewhere he gotta be. Bo Bindel say, "Where you gotta be Svrygyn?! You always gotta leave early now that Bo Bindel get big-time promotion!"
But Bo Bindel no letting him leave. This big-time meeting! Bo Bindel crew almost where we need to be. Try wrestling him to foor. No letting him go.
Then, Svrgyn play politic. He say Bo Bindel just mad 'cause Beovark ask out Mary Helen last week.
"Beovark ask out Mary Helen?!" Bo say. "RAAAAWWR!!"
Bo Bindel start beating crap out of Beovark. Beovark can no fight back. Got him 'Bo Bindel Crew Official Troll Time-Out Clock.' Clearly marked B and O.
Beovark start pointing out that Bo Bindel need time-out.
Svrgyn say, "Sorry, Beovark! We only got one time-out clock! That why it so official!"
Svrgyn start laughing. Beovark start questioning Svrgyn's Troll-hood...he so mad about Bo Bindel big-time smashing, crashing.
Now, Svrgyn AND Bo Bindel beating crap out of Beovark. But I tell you what, Momma Kody's idea big-time work. Beovark no complain about dypsomniac security company idea again.
Momma Kody, she big-time smart. Bo Bindel make note: next time see City Kid Kody, tell him he adopted. 'Dat pretty funny, right?
Bo Bindel's Big-Time Diry
Bo Bindel
Resident Troll, Skyway City
MAY 23, 2005
Sunday morning Bo Bindel got him comfy slipper, bowl of Chex, and Bo Bindel's second favorite cartoon on, starring Fire Imp and Vicious Rikti money. Fire Imp and Rikti Monkey big-time hate each other!
Bo Bindel's tooth aching. But pretty soon Fire Imp #08 gonna smash Anyonymous Vicious Rikti Monkey with frying pan! Big-time hilarious and Bo not thinking 'bout tooth.
What you waiting for Fire Imp #08?! Anonymous Vicious Rikti Monkey you arch-enemy on Sundays!
Bo Bindel's Big-Time Diry
Bo Bindel
Resident Troll, Skyway City
MAY 24, 2005
Bo Bindel's Big-Time Minutes
Meeting with The Family
Inde-whatever Port
Meeting Held on that Day Star Fire Got Mad Robin Talking to Other Girl (Stupid Robin!)
This spaghetti good.
Who that slurping Beovark or Svrgyn?
Marinara good but alfredo good too.
Why Family use spoon for spaghetti?
Whoever slurping Bo gonna big-time kick under table.
These guys look pretty serious.
There a stain here on notes.
Why Family use fork for spaghetti?
Bo pretty sure that Beovark slurping.
Stain look like marinara.
Family got investor acquiring big-name security company before he disappear to Cayman's. Family getting Bo list of all businesses security company work for. Pickney & Son doing buy-sell agreeement for investor to finalize on May 27. Don't rob businesses til after that. Must steal at least $1 and 3/4 million to cover all costs. Gonna take all Trolls to do it. Deposit $325,000 in Swedish bank acoount #00185895404 by May 31.
Dat does it. Bo kicking Beovark under the table.
Oop...that was Bo Bindel slurping.
Now Beovark thinking it Svrgyn.
He kicking Svrgyn. Bo big-time laughing.
Momma Bindel use Prego sauce. It pretty good.
One of these things Family guy say big-time important.
Bo Bindel hope it not thing marina blocking.
Bo Bindel's Big-Time Diry
Bo Bindel
Resident Troll, Skyway City
MAY 25, 2005
Lord Recluse,
Big talk in secret hideout all over town is that Dr. Recluse big-time coming to Paragon City this year/next year. Bo Bindel writing to tell Mr. Recluse DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT! This Bo Bindel territory.
As a matter of fact, Bo Bindel think he expanding his operation down there to South America. Bo Bindel hear you got beautiful women and big-time guitar music. Bo also bet that George Washington Troll stretch pretty far in Argentina. Probably Captain Recluse's little spider legs gonna want to run away, but that rock gonna be flying through the air very fast Bo Bindel throwing.
Maybe Posh Recluse think 'cause Bo Bindel writing that this negotiatiable. This done deal, Baby Recluse! Bo Bindel be eating deviled eggs off your mesa and crapping on your bano this time next week!(1)
Bo Bindel
1) And Bo Bindel know in certain part of South America they speak Portugese, not Spanish, so don't be stuck-up jerk about it!
2) Svrgyn tell Bo Bindel that proper format for end notes is to have at least two, so shut up!
I just wanted to say this is still as great as ever, Bo Bindel is the funniest. 8)
Upsen.
Can we start a petition to have Bo Bindel put into the game as Boss/Elite Boss?
Bo Bindel's Big-Time Diry
Bo Bindel
Resident Troll, Skyway City
MAY 26, 2005
Bo Bindel visualize now crime of century. Bo Bindel ohhhhhhhmmm. Bo Bindel ohhhhhhhmmm.
(Back on Tuesday.)
Sorry you lost on American Idol last night, Bo.
Oh, wait.
Different Bo. Nevermind.
Bo Bindel's Big-Time Diry
Bo Bindel
Resident Troll, Skyway City
MAY 31, 2005
'Dis reprint without explicit content!
Night of the Trolls
by Jon Arcroft
Special Contributor to the Paragon Times
Five days a week for four years now, Arthur Randall feared the morning drive to work. The tension of Trolls still simmering from last night's Superdyne bender usually clog the long stretches of concrete and scaffolding making up Skyway's functional yet controversial freeway system. On the morning of Friday, May 27th, however, Arthur Randall was relieved to see not one Troll, until he made it into work to learn his storage and warehousing business and the personal belongings of all his clients were robbed by a rowdy gang of Trolls. Estimates put his and his clients' losses at around $250,000 worth of merchandise. Perhaps the greatest loss may be the trust of his customers.
It was a quiet night in the Hollows on Thursday, May 26th. There was the ever-present chanting of the Circle of Thorns and the hovering and posturing of the Outcast mutant population. Still, beneath the city few explosions were heard, a trademark of the Trolls bent on turning our surface world into nothing more than a ceiling sheltering their dirty-work below. Red River ran quietly through the ironic green beauty of the Hollows in the Summer months.
Ask Norma Peterson who hasn't been able to enjoy what is now the Hollows in 5 years and she will tell you the dynamite was blowing up the bank vault where she has been a manager since 2002. Another gang of Trolls made it out of that heist with almost a million in cash.
Police estimate over 900 Trolls, perhaps every Troll and Trollkin in existence robbed 125 businesses on May 26 totaling approximately $3.5 million in stolen merchandise. Everything from liquor stores to post offices were bilked of their property all over Paragon City, even in towns free of Trolls.
Asked what police efforts are underway and Burt Calloway, head of the Paragon Police Department says, "Well, I plan to read all 953 pages of 'Crime & Punishment' by (Fyodor) Dostoevsky. I find that to solve a crime of this magnitude, you really have to get into the mind of the criminal. Well, that and I'm taking a course on Russian literature. It helps to take my mind off of having the worst job in the world. I'm reading (Aleksandr) Pushkin next!"
Bo Bindel's Big-Time Diry
Bo Bindel
Resident Troll, Skyway City
JUNE 1, 2005
So, Bo Bindel, Beovark and Svrgyn kicking back at the Dirty Duck bar after pulling off big-time Troll heist! No problems. No politics. Just kicking back. Big-time celebrating by Bo Bindel crew.
Beovark say, "So, what Bo Bindel's all-time, big-time favorite weapon?"
"Bo have to go with rock," Bo say. "Bo lift big rock above head, big-time throwing then it gonna be big-time lights out. Who gonna stop Bo Bindel's rock?"
Beovark say, "Beovark have to go with stone."
"Stone?" say Bo Bindel. "How stone gonna be better than rock!?"
Beovark say, "Beovark like him big-time precision. Beovark take rock with one hand, big-time throwing. Pin-point vital area and big-time crush it!"
"Beovark good with hand-eye stuff. Bo Bindel give you that," say Bo Bindel.
"What 'bout Svrgyn?," ask Bo. "What Svrgyn's favorite weapon?"
"Svrgyn have to go with boulder," say Svrgyn.
"Svrgyn no throw boulder," say Beovark. "Probably boulder gonna fall on small-time Svrgyn's head he trying to throw."
"All Troll's life never seen Svrgyn throw boulder," say Bo.
"Svrgyn set up boulder in Hollows as big-time trap," say Svrgyn. "Set lose boulder with big stick. Boulder go rolling down hill and crush big-time stupid super group."
"'That no count. That two big-time weapons. That rock AND stick," say Beovark.
"Okay, then Svrgyn gotta go with brick," say Svrgyn.
That Svrgyn for you. Always the aristo-Troll.
Bo Bindel's writer and this thread get the 5-star treatment from me!
I'll give him some stars as soon as I figure out how to do it....
I've even done the "toggle favorite" for this thread, so all the updates get emailed to me!
"I'm sorry. That data is SuPer-Admin Restricted Desktop Access password-protected."
"What!? This is madness!"
"No, this is SPARDA."
....The funniest series of posts on this forum - Bar None.
....Tears in my eys when I read the new entries!
.....Worth the price of admission alone.
These are all quotes that have come to me as I read this thread. Keep it up! A+ + + + +......(oh and 5 Stars to the OP)
Pyro King - 50 Fire/Fire Tanker
Great stuff Fire_Wa11 !
Bo Bindel's Big-Time Diry
Bo Bindel
Resident Troll, Skyway City
JUNE 2, 2005
Bo Bindel watching the Adventures of Fire Imp #008 & Anonymous Vicious Rikti Monkey. This one gonna be good one too. Cartoons all dressed like Benjamin Franklin Troll and on pirate ship.
Momma Bindel gonna interrupt me with phone call from Cayman Islands for Bo Bindel.
"Yeah, this Bo," say Bo. "What you want, Cay Man?"
"This isn't 'Cay Man', Mr. Bindel. This is Redmond Farnsworth the III," says caller.
"Yeah, so?" ask Bo.
"I was your silent partner in our security guard company venture," says Cay Man.
"Uh huh," say Bo.
"Well," say Cay Man. "My son was supposed to meet me down here in the Cayman Islands and he never made it."
"Bo no care. Bo got him cartoon on," Bo tell Cay Man.
"Well, part of our agreement was no rough stuff. My son was working as a security guard at one of the companies you guys ripped off," say Cay Man. "One of the Trolls beat him up very badly."
"Oh," say Bo Bindel. "Yeah, that probably Oglost. Bo Bindel sorry about that."
"Be that as it may, pretty soon the police are going to realize that what every company robbed has in common is that they all hired the same security company. Then they are going to notice that the owner of said security company, me, has vanished. This will lead them to the hospital, where my son is," say Cay Man.
"Son got COBRA benefits expired too?" Bo ask.
"No, Mr. Bindel. I'm calling to tell you that unless you want my son to sing like a canary, you and your boys better find him a way to get him out of that hospital like yesterday," say Cay Man.
Thank you for making me laugh. 
I heart Bo!
That is very nice, SweetThang. Put that up in the 'Merchandise Ideas' thread!
My Motto: "Debt is merely another Goal."
"Wow Abalest--you manage to start a discussion even when you ain't given a topic" -Ghostman
Abalests on Infinity:
Miss Fulcrum
Dark Soul Golem
Power Drain
[ QUOTE ]
"No, Mr. Bindel. I'm calling to tell you that unless you want my son to sing like a canary, you and your boys better find him a way to get him out of that hospital like yesterday," say Cay Man.
[/ QUOTE ]
Doh! Smash the kid Bo! Dont let the cannery sing!
Am I the only one noticing the shift from Trol Diry to Flash Gordon-esque serial?
mmm...cereal...
Bo Bindel's Big-Time Diry
Bo Bindel
Resident Troll, Skywey City
JUNE 6, 2005
Wape werk, swend Mwo Mwindel med cwom pwatch! Do nwow!
Swo, Mwo mig-twime Wutal AN' Bwo Bwindel po' off bwig-time mwoney heist. Mwo Mwindel wubbing it 'n Fweudel's facshe.
Fweudal say big-time mwuppreciate Mwo's idea and mwants help Mwo Mwindel wif toof ashe. Fweudal tie schring to Pawagon monowail. Tie ofeh' end to Mwo Mwindel's toof. Well, turn out Twolls got pwetty stwong teef.
Dat dang twain dwag Mwo Mwindel frough free shities befwah toof come out. Mwo Mwindel fink him in Bwickstown. Mwo Mwindel figeh dat amout 150 Wouncil, 100 Fweak Sho', fifshy Zshig pwisonehs, wand one Twoll. Dat' Mwo Mwindel.
Swo, wend wedcom pwatch. Mwo gif wight back.
Sheesh. Mwo Mwindel hate Fweudel. Swo mush, Mwo Mwindel hate Fweudel.
[ QUOTE ]
Can we start a petition to have Bo Bindel put into the game as Boss/Elite Boss?
[/ QUOTE ]
But nobody would want to arrest him!! I sure don't want to have to beat up Bo!
This is part of the reason I think it would be fun to have a website with "Troll Intelligence" on super heroes. Sort of a sister site to "Crey Industries". Except all surveillance photos would need to be stick figure drawing.
If I new how to webmaster, I would so set that up, but I'm web illiterate.
And I can't think of a good name for it anyway.
[ QUOTE ]
This is part of the reason I think it would be fun to have a website with "Troll Intelligence" on super heroes. Sort of a sister site to "Crey Industries". Except all surveillance photos would need to be stick figure drawing.
If I new how to webmaster, I would so set that up, but I'm web illiterate.
And I can't think of a good name for it anyway.
[/ QUOTE ]
If anyone wants to do it I'll volunteer the webspace. This idea is hilarious Let Bo come up with a good name for it 
Bo Bindel's Big-Time Diry
Bo Bindel
Resident Troll, Skyway City
MAY 18, 2005
(Bo Bindel's Big-Time Disclaimer: Bo Bindel got no problem with spirituality or the Hokey Pokey.)
Bo Bindel driving to Inde-whatever Port. Meet with Family bosses. Oglost last words to Bo Bindel? "Be scary."
But Bo Bindel driving to meeting in Chevette with "Honk if you love Jesus", "God is my co-pilot" and "What if the Hokey Pokey really IS what it's all about?" bumper sticker.
Bo Bindel ask driver, Trollkin twin Attagard, how 'dis happen. Attagard say, "Attavel and Attagard got us sister. Sister got car on Sunday, Tuesday, Friday."
Bo Bindel say, "So?"
"So," say Attagard. "Trollkin twins got car on Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, Saturday."
"So?" ask Bo Bindel.
"So," say Attagard. "Twins got car one more day than sister, that 'so'."
"What that got to do with being scary?" say Bo Bindel.
"Trollkin twins strike big-time deal with sister," Attagard say. "Sister got car one less day, get her one more bumper sticker. Sister had her big-time spiritual awakening."
"What this hokey pokey stuff then," ask Bo Bindel.
"That Attagard's. Me think that funny," say Attagard.
Bo Bindel got big-time crisis communications problem now. Looking for Swedish biker-metal band sticker to stay on message.