Bo Bindel's Big-Time Diry
Bo Bindel
Resident Troll, Skyway City
AUGUST 23, 2005
Beovark: Anyone ever tell you, you look just like Elvis?
Bubba Buvlowski: Excuse me?
*SMASH*
*dial tone*
Beovark: Bo Bindel, 'dis Beovark. Yeah. Last year's winner no look like he gonna be 'Dancing with Him Self" any time soon.
What you mean 'dat no Elvis?
*click*
Hello? Jerk.
[ QUOTE ]
"Look," say Svrgyn. "Svrgyn no biggest Troll, but Svrgyn no two-feet either, and as for that one day in Red River...it was really cold."
"What you talking about?" say Beovark. "It like 70 degrees that day at least."
Svrgyn beat chest.
[/ QUOTE ]
Fire_Cat_Troll say size do matter. Svrgyn need get promoted with fat raise.
Bo Bindel's Big-Time Diry
Bo Bindel
Resident Troll, Skyway City
AUGUST 24, 2005
'Dis month question come from Ms. Persimmons. She live around corner from Bo Bindel and got her some stuff to say.
Question: Bo Bindel, my name is Hilda Persimmons. I'm a little old lady that lives on Oak Street in Skyway City. Would you Trolls, PLEASE, leave Skyway City once and for all and leave us law-respecting citizens alone...PLEASE!?
Answer: And miss out on all that park access? You crazy, lady.
Bo Bindel's Big-Time Diry
Bo Bindel
Resident Troll, Skyway City
AUGUST 25, 2005
Bo Bindel: Okay! Bo Bindel crew gotta pull it together!
You guys gotta Go Where Eagles Dare! When the Aces High and it Two Minutes to Midnight, you gotta say, 'Me no gonna Run to the Hills! Me gonna be Running Free!'
Look...! You know The Number of the Beast no gonna call itself! You gotta pick up the phone and dial, dial, dial, baby! Dial hard!
You gotta Die with Your Boots On if you gonna die! Or else...! You never gonna have Sanctuary! You never gonna have Piece of Mind! You gonna be Powerslave all you life!
'Dat's it! Pep rally over!
*shooooooooom!*
Svrgyn: What was 'dat all about?
Dunnovel: Momma Bindel just get him Iron Maiden box set.
Svrgyn: Ah.
[ QUOTE ]
Bo Bindel's Big-Time Diry
Bo Bindel
Resident Troll, Skyway City
AUGUST 25, 2005
Bo Bindel: Okay! Bo Bindel crew gotta pull it together!
You guys gotta Go Where Eagles Dare! When the Aces High and it Two Minutes to Midnight, you gotta say, 'Me no gonna Run to the Hills! Me gonna be Running Free!'
Look...! You know The Number of the Beast no gonna call itself! You gotta pick up the phone and dial, dial, dial, baby! Dial hard!
You gotta Die with Your Boots On if you gonna die! Or else...! You never gonna have Sanctuary! You never gonna have Piece of Mind! You gonna be Powerslave all you life!
'Dat's it! Pep rally over!
*shooooooooom!*
Svrgyn: What was 'dat all about?
Dunnovel: Momma Bindel just get him Iron Maiden box set.
Svrgyn: Ah.
[/ QUOTE ]
((I think I just hurt myself laughing at that))
Stand UP.
FIGHT BACK!
ZOMG!! Where is Bo Bindel!!!!
DOOOOM?
Red Ribbons.
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Bo tell Devoured Earth, "Get in bag Earth! Biodegrade!"
[/ QUOTE ]
This has got to be one of the funniest lines I have read in a long time. I read it at work, and laughed for a good 15 minutes. Thankfully I work in a part of the office that no one else comes by. 
This thread has been the highlight of the week for me. Keep up the great work Fire_Wall, and I cant wait to read more! 
[/ QUOTE ]
Line of the day ^_^
Bo Bindel's Big-Time Diry
Bo Bindel
Resident Troll, Skyway City
AUGUST 26, 2005
Bo Bindel: Svrgyn talk to Troll's insider at Colosseum? Get us security info on Elvis Night?
Svrgyn: Yeah. Security gonna be:
Shaun;
Cadence;
Avril;
Del;
Samson;
Anton;
Bill;
Schultzy;
Kent;
Ed;
Nate;
Sydney.
Take second letter of every name. Security guards gonna spell: Have A Nice Day.
Bo Bindel: Huh? They kapes? Rent-a-rabbits? Bo ask Svrgyn full-description.
Svrgyn: Ohhh.
Bo Bindel: What?
Svrgyn: Thought Bo say "decryption."
Best. Stuff. Ever.
I propose a Kape Jerk badge for the Kill Atta mission ...
Bo Bindel's Big-Time Diry
Bo Bindel
Resident Troll, Skyway City
AUGUST 29, 2005
Bo Bindel: *pant* *pant* *pant*
Dunnogard: *pant* *pant* *pant*
Bo Bindel: Dunnogard.... *pant* You no can do that.
Dunnogard: *pant* Do what?
Bo Bindel: You no can -- before we fighting with Outcasts -- take shirt off, hold shirt in front of chest, put chin down on top of shirt, fold left sleeve, fold right sleeve, then drape shirt over arms you got folded in front of you, all while telling Outcasts to, "Hold on. Hold on."
Dunnogard: But Bo.... This no Donatella. This Black-Label ORIGINAL Giovanni Versace.
*SMACK!*
Bo Bindel's Big-Time Diry
Bo Bindel
Resident Troll, Skyway City
AUGUST 30, 2005
(Today's episode.... The Hash Brown Dilemma!)
Waitress: Do you want hashbrowns with that omelette?
Ohhh, Bo Bindel hate this. She gonna ask if Bo Bindel want hashbrowns with that. Bo Bindel gonna ask if it cost extra. She gonna say no. Then Bo Bindel gonna feel like a big time jerk he no get hashbrowns. But who gonna need hashbrowns on top of all 'dat wheat toast with raspberry jelly stuff like 'dat?
Why she not just give hashbrown? Always they gotta put Bo on the spot like this. Omelette got it big-time protein. Toast got it big-time carb-whatever. Jelly got it big-time raspberry. What hashbrown for?
Still, 'dough, she just gonna give it to me free anyway. Don't be jerk Bo Bindel. Get hashbrown.
(Forty minutes later.)
Beovark: Bo Bindel, you gonna eat you hashbrown?
Bo Bindel: Yeah, Bo Bindel gonna eat him hashbrown.
I am so glad I gave this thread a 5. 
(Hey, Bo! The hashbrowns may be free, but the stuff you have to add to the hashbrowns to make them taste good costs extra. That's where they get you. 
)
Where's Bo.. I need my bindel fix! Damn kape jerks it's thier fault.
Does waitress wink at Bo when him get hashbrown? Bo have admirer!
Bo, where are you? We need our fix!!!
Currently Playing:
Frozen Kat - Ice/Ice Blaster (Triumph)
Flaming Kat - Fire/Fire Blaster (Triumph)
Where's Bo at?
Feral Tigress (alt on Guardian) just asked me to read this entire thread to her. She's ... not too good at reading, no. And now she wants to MEET HIM!!
"MRRROWL!! Feral Tigress gonna POUNCE on Bo Bindel somet'in' GOOD!!! OOO!! Him sound FUN!! Prof, you gonna bring Ferrrral to meeet Bo, mrrrrowl?? PWEEEASE???"
Yes, she wants to PLAY with the troll. Look out Bo. There's a 6' mutant white tiger out there that just got a crush on ya...
"City of Heroes. April 27, 2004 - August 31, 2012. Obliterated not with a weapon of mass destruction, not by an all-powerful supervillain... but by a cold-hearted and cowardly corporate suck-up."
Bo Bindel's Big-Time Diry
Bo Bindel
Resident Troll, Skyway City
AUGUST 31, 2005
*ring*
Svrgyn: Bo! Where are you!? Tonight big-time night of Elviseses! Svrgyn, Beovark, and Baby Clock all waiting!
Bo Bindel: Tonight no contest. It not fourth Teen Titan yet.
Svrgyn: Tonight no gonna be Teen Titans! It Labor Day Weekend! Jerry's Kids...!
Bo Bindel: Huh?
Svrgyn: Jerry Lewis Telethon!
Bo Bindel: That jerk!
Bo Bindel's Big-Time Diry
Bo Bindel
Resident Troll, Skyway City
SEPTEMBER 1, 2005
"Bo Bindel.... Ugh. Uh. Help," say Svrgyn.
"What going on?!" say Bo Bindel.
Svrgyn saying, "Elviseses find Baby Clock rigging.... Rigging ballots. Uh. Ow.
"Svrgyn take one out and he lying dead-weight on me. Fading.... Fading fast. Don't think...I can...hold on...hold on...much longer. Uh."
"You gonna be fine," say Bo. "Bo Bindel gonna help you."
"Ugh. Uh. Uh. Elviseses.... Elviseses chasing Baby Clock...like him.... Like him Charlie Chaplin. And they.... They keystone cop...cops."
Bo tell Svrgyn to conserve energy or regenerate something, but him right. Those Elvises got them rhinestone, liesure-suit, big-time pompadour, sunglasses stuff, and taking off in fury after little robot.
Elvises chasing Baby Clock room to room. Down hallway. Across hallway. Baby Clock duck into one room. Come out other room. All that way him got army of Elvises behind him!
"'Kay, Svrgyn," say Bo Bindel. "You gonna push then I'm gonna push. Ready? Push!!"
"Ugggggghhhh," say Svrgyn. "Arrrrrrrrggh," say Bo Bindel.
"Alright, Svrgyn," Bo say. "We gonna have to rock Elvis like him small car. Ready? Go!"
"And forward," say Bo Bindel.
Svrgyn say, "Owwwwwwwww!"
"And back," say Bo.
Svrgyn say, "Aaaargggghhhhh!
"And forward," say Bo.
Svrgyn say, "Uggggggggghhh!"
"And back," say Bo Bindel. "Svrgyn, we almost there."
"It's too late for...ugh...me, Bo. Help.... Help Baby Clock. Tell him.... Tell him Svrgyn tried."
Bo Bindel hope Beovark making out better than we are right now. Why couldn't dead Elvis be young Elvis?
Can't stop laughing. This is pure gold!
Bo Bindel's Big-Time Diry
Bo Bindel
Resident Troll, Skyway City
SEPTEMBER 2, 2005
Bo Bindel: Beovark, 'dis Bo Bindel. Rigging worked. Mr. Lee, John Gufstason, and Ted "The Colonel" Smits three finalists.
Beovark: Beovark know. Beovark in Colonel's dressing room right now.
Bo Bindel: You take him out yet?
Beovark: Him not get back to room yet. Catering good though.
Bo Bindel: What they have?
Beoark: So far cocktail weinies and crab cakes.
Bo Bindel: How come there cocktail weinies but no Superdyne weinies?
Beovark: Beovark no know. You guys gotta take care of Gufstason guy. We gotta get this cheddar some stuff.
Bo Bindel: Bo know. Bo know. Svrgyn got plan for Gufstason Elvis but him got big, big, dead Elvis on him. Looking like Svrgyn might not make i....
Beovark: Uh-huh. Beovark gotta go.
Colonel, you got you any more cocktail weinies?
The Colonel: What tha?
*SMASH!*
(40 crab cakes later.)
*Knock* *Knock*
Security: Okay, Colonel. You're on in 5. It turns out Backstreet Brawler is a huge fan of yours. He's outside the door and is going to personally escort you to the stage! And don't worry about any hoodlums getting in and stealing your stuff. Per your request, your dressing room has no windows.
Beovark: !!!
Bo Bindel's Big-Time Diry
Bo Bindel
Resident Troll, Skway City
SEPTEMBER 5, 2005
Bo Bindel: Come on, Svrgyn! You a mouse or you a Troll!? You gotta cowboy up and give 110 percent! Svrgyn no gonna let dead Elvis get the best of him!!
While you lying here under a ton of cellulite and fried peanut butter sandwiches, there's a little robot out there who need Svrgyn very much! Who gonna take care of Baby Clock Svrgyn no around?!
Svrgyn: Nooooooooooooooooo, Elviseses! 'Dat Svrgyn's Clock!
(Him lifting dead Elvis clear off him and turning to angry Elvises chasing him robot. Bo Bindel no want to be those Elvises right about now.)
Bo Bindel's Big-Time Diry
Bo Bindel
Resident Troll, Skyway City
SEPTEMBER 6, 2005
John Guftason Elvis gonna come on stage and him gonna sing:
"I'm a dancehall queen for life.
Gonna explode like dynamite.
Dancing til the morning light.
Cause I'm a dancehall queen for life."
Bo Bindel say, "Dat no sound like Elvis song."
"No," say Svrgyn. "Dancehall reggae."
"Why him singing it," ask Bo Bindel.
Svrgyn say, "Svrgyn drew for him picture of Elvis singing without tongue. Told him him to save Elvis song for a night less important to him health."
Bo Bindel say, "Why you pick this song?"
"No know," Svrgyn say. "Thought it'd be funny I guess."
"Svrgyn right about 'dat," say Bo Bindel.
Big-time Elvis guy still going, "Dancing 'til the morning light, 'cause I'm a dancehall queen for life!"
Bo Bindel's Big-Time Diry
Bo Bindel
Resident Troll, Skyway City
AUGUST 22, 2005
Bo Bindel having meeting 'bout this Elvis contest with Svrgyn and Beovark. Svrgyn got him little Clock with him 'cause he always gotta be special.
"So, Svrgyn got him floor plan for Talos Island Colosseum," say Svrgyn.
"Why you got that?" Bo asking.
"'Dis where annual lookalike contest for Elviseses being held," say Svrgyn.
"What if heroes gonna want to fight each other?" ask Bo.
"You know," say Svrgyn. "Hasn't really come up.
"As you see, there real narrow shaft go from ballot counting room to main floor. Contest gonna lead to three final Elviseses. Problem is, there gonna be 100 Elviseses gunning to be among three finalists. First step to decide how we gonna rig all 'dem ballots to get Mr. Lee in top three contestants."
"'Dat interesting problem," say Bo. "How big ventilator shaft go from main floor to ballot counting room?"
"'Bout two feet," say Svrgyn.
"Hmmm," say Bo.
"What you thinking?" say Svrgyn.
"Oh, there just one of us 'dat gonna be able to get through that shaft real easy," say Bo.
"Look," say Svrgyn. "Svrgyn no biggest Troll, but Svrgyn no two-feet either, and as for that one day in Red River...it was really cold."
"What you talking about?" say Beovark. "It like 70 degrees that day at least."
Svrgyn beat chest. Bo shut everybody up.
"Svrgyn not who Bo talking about," say Bo.
"Junior small, but not that small," say Svrgyn.
"Junior not who Bo Bindel talking about either," say Bo.
Svrgyn ask, "Who you mean then?"
"Well," say Bo. "Who about 1 and half feet tall? And who about 1/2 foot in diameter? And who made outta metal and eat Momma Bindel's toaster oven for lunch?"
"No. Nooooooo. No!" Svrgyn say, "Don't even think about it! Dat gonna be too dangerous, you talking 'bout Svrgyn's Gear!"
"Oh, come on, Svrgyn," say Bo.
"It too dangerous," say Svrgyn.
"Him criminal anyway," say Bo. "How rigging contest gonna be too dangerous for criminal?"
"Don't you talk like 'dat around Gear," say Svrgyn. "Him very sensitive."
"Svrgyn, what you covering?" Say Beovark, "Clock no have ears."