DISCLAIMER: This post is for fun and entertainment purposes ONLY. Taking it seriously WILL result in heartburn. I am fresh out of Zantac. I cannot help you.
GUIDE TO COH L33T SPEAK 101
Term/Phrase:
l33t -- Variances: leet, l337, L33T, etc.
What it means:
Elite, far above and better than 99.9% of the population. This used to mean that the poster/speaker was a hacker with an elitist view of himself/herself and therefore to be feared. It has now come to refer to anyone thinking themselves better than others.
What it means to you:
Nothing. You are a superhero. Your costume, powers and the way you tear through evil mobs like nobodys business speak for themselves. You do not have to result to hacker-speak to let the world know that you are a force to be reckoned with. What do those geeks know, anyway?
Term/Phrase:
uber -- Variances: ubar, UBER, UBAR, etc.
What it means:
This word is derived from the German word über, meaning above or superior.
What it means to you:
Nothing. You are a superhero. You are above the bottomdwellers known as regular citizens, as well as other players who have not yet found the games exploits, or if they did, refuse to use them. Too bad for them. They will never know what it feels like to be UBER, and making it from 1-50 in 10 seconds flat. You do therefore not have to rub your status into their faces because they will have no concept of what its like. Use this term sparingly, if you must use it at all, and then only to express your approval of something you find superior, i.e. Fire/Fire is UBER, everyone should play a tank! Until I5, anyway. Now, a more appropriate use would be Defiance is UBER, everyone should play a blaster and stay at 5% health! Etc.
Term/Phrase:
sux Variances: suxorz, sux0rz, etc.
What it means:
A term used to describe something or someone that/who sucks, i.e. performs sub-par, and is completely, totally and utterly unacceptable.
What it means to you:
Nothing. You are a superhero. The presence you carry is already letting everyone around you know that THEY are sub-par, and YOU are uber (see above). You do not have to utter the word to make everyone understand they are beneath you, and that the game is ridiculously easy and utterly below your skills. However, if youre so inclined, feel free to use it to vent your feelings about any subject you desire, with no further information needed, i.e. I5 sux! Doom!
Term/Phrase:
pwnz Variances: PWN, PWNZ, pwn, PWNED!, etc.
What it means:
Owned! This term means that someone just got totally bowled over and annihilated by their opponent, without even the chance to offer a valid fight back.
What it means to you:
Nothing. If you have to brag about PWNING someone else, others may view it as an artificial way to rub the size of your ego into their faces, making them doubt the ACTUAL size of your ego. Such behavior is above you. You are a superhero, remember? You PWN evil with your sheer presence, making the world around you cower in fear.
Term/Phrase:
n00b Variances: noob, N00B, etc.
What it means:
A beginner, newbie, someone new to the game, or new to any system without a full understanding of how it all works. Commonly used to refer to low-level CoH players. Well, lower than you, anyway.
What it means to you:
Nothing. They are n00bs, what do they know? Its not that a level 5 could POSSIBLY have anything worthwhile to say, as their in-game level probably refers to their real-life IQ anyway. They are to be shunned, and therefore the word n00b should not be a part of your speaking vocabulary. Unless you feel generous and want to show your UBER powers to help them level up a little bit. Life at low levels must be utterly hard for anyone (as far as you can remember), and they should be glad that you feel inclined to pull them out of their misery. Feel free to pick on them anytime for your own entertainment if you absolutely cannot bring yourself to ignore them, because that is the only OTHER acceptable way to relate to them.
Term/Phrase:
teh Variances: TEH
What it means:
Simply the English word the with its latter 2 letters reversed. Spread about liberally by folks who either dont know how to type properly, or their fingers are running away with them and they just dont care for spelling errors.
What it means to you:
Nothing. If others dont know by now that teh = the, you cant help them. Let them decrypt it themselves, you have better things to do. You need to type up your post as quickly as possible because everyone is waiting with bated breath to hear what you have to say, and so you can get back to business saving the world. You are a superhero with giant fists waiting to clobber down bad guys, and they just cant adjust themselves to those tiny keys in front of you. Shrug your shoulders, and move on.
Term/Phrase:
r u Variances: R U, RU, etc.
What it means:
An abbreviation of the words are you, commonly used at the beginning of an inquiry as to other players powers or archetypes. May also be liberally used to begin any other type of question/inquiry.
What it means to you:
Nothing. Why say something in 6 letters (plus a spacebar) if 3 will do? Because others will regard you as extra considerate if you bother with such a small, meaningless courtesy as using complete words. Only use R U if you feel like time is of the absolute essence, and then they will thank you because they know that you respect the fact that everyone is in a hurry, including them. Dont use it often, you dont want to spoil people and make them think its expected. Or have them wonder, Whats a RU, and what is this guy asking me for one?
Term/Phrase:
HEALR Variances: healr, healzr, HEALZR, etc.
What it means:
This word means healer, and in CoH context, describes the defenders with the primary powerset known as Empathy. Commonly used to ask defenders if they are capable of healing fellow heroes.
What it means to you:
If youre not an empath -- Nothing. If someone asks you that question, it means they have no understanding whatsoever of damage mitigation. The fact that you can keep their health bar from dropping to begin with is a logic lost on them. They only care about can you get my red/yellow health to green? Its strictly a color coding concept. They will kill your anchors because theyre a shiny green/red anyway, so your powers would be lost on them as well.
If you ARE an empath Nothing. The members of the team in question have developed a strategy that involves repeated death and debt. You will be the heal-bot and 100% responsible for peoples health, no matter how well/badly they play their toons. Their battle cry will be HEAL! HEAL !!!11!1!!1111!!! Your presence will be an excuse for them to aggro mobs of dozens with abandon, expecting you to keep them alive at all times, and they will blame you for everyones death, including their own. Followed by a /kick. Run. Far away. And dont turn back.
Term/Phrase:
PH4T Variances: PHAT, ph4t, etc.
What it means:
Another word for fat, not to describe body size, but meaning a high quantity of just about anything. For example, ph4t xp, phat lewt, etc.
What it means to you:
Nothing. With so many people on diets, and 80% of the female population subsisting on lettuce and celery, the use of this word in their presence will get your head caved in. Avoid it by all means. Seriously. You have been warned.
Term/Phrase:
PL Variances: Pling, pling, pl, etc.
What it means:
An abbreviation of the word power-level, meaning people have devised methods to go from 1 to 50 in 10 seconds flat (see above), thereby circumventing the boring, boring (and did I mention BORING?) content of the game.
What it means to you:
Nothing. Unless you either wish to A) be regarded as a n00b and a bother (should you ask ANOTHER hero to PL you) ... or B) have a conga line of n00bs trailing you all the way from Atlas Park to Peregrine Island. They are to be ignored, remember? Keep your ability to PL others a secret, and only PL your closest friends, or if someone else offers you money. Santa Claus sees you, and will be sure to reward you with many presents for not bragging about it openly. If you get others to pay you, you dont need Santa Claus. Feel free to charge for your services. It will make others understand how valuable you are.
And that's all you need to know. Go. Hunt. Kill Skuls.
Welcome to the boards man! Come on, we have to start whining and arguing over I6 now! This is a warm-up session before the real [censored] 'ing starts!
