Bo Bindel's Big-Time Diry
Bo Bindel
Resident Troll, Skyway City
APRIL 10, 2005
Bo Bindel check your wallet!
So, Bo-Bindel hanging out with big-time friend, big-time troll, and big-time boss, Gardvark. Gardvark big-time smart. Gardvark tell Bo Bindel, "Bo Bindel, big-time Gardvark smash cape big smash and crash. Then, big-time Gardvark check for wallet.
"If kape got wallet, wallet got money, big-time Gardvark got money. Gardvark got big-time Superdine!"
So, now....
Bo Bindel check your wallet!
Bo Bindel want him money too, and Superdine! But Bo Bindel also want to make necklace of all heroes driver's licen... driver's licen... Oh, Bo Bindel frustrated! ID cards!
That's right! Bo Bindel no like capes, but Bo Bindel like Kapes crazy colors. Bo Bindel going to make necklace of all hero ID cards! Bo then have him crazy-color necklace!
But now Bo learn most capes don't drive. Bo learn most kapes wear spandex. No place to put hero ID cards. Bo no have him necklace yet with crazy-color driver lic.... driver lic... UGGGGH! Hero ID cards!
So Bo asking kapes. Get Hero ID cards and put in pocket! If Kape no have pocket! Kape go get lap-sac or man-bag!
Oh, and before Bo Bindel forget. Bring money too,kape!
Bo Bindel check your wallet!
Bo Bindel's Big-time Diry
Resident Troll, Skyway City
APRIL 11, 2005
Bo Bindel not good with gurl
Bo Bindel see Troll Kape. She luk coot. Bo Bindel decide to flurt with gentlest punch.
She not happy. She call Bo Bindel things that hurt ears. She start hitting Bo. She beat Bo within inch of life. Even when Bo cry like littul gerl, she not stop. She even step on fingers when Bo try to pick up teeth.
Dating not for Bo. Maybe Bo Bindel take up nitting.
[ QUOTE ]
If Kape no have pocket! Kape go get lap-sac or man-bag!
[/ QUOTE ]
Oh...man...the laughter...it hurts so... 
Bo Bindel's Big-Time Diry
Bo Bindel
Resident Troll, Skyway City
APRIL 11, 2005
Bo Bindel hang out. Unwind. Beat chest, throw rock, take Superdine. You know. Thing everyone do.
Then Bo Bindel remember dentist appointment. Momma Bindel get real mad Bo miss. She tell Bo Bindel since he Troll, insurance company no want Bo Bindel have dentist. Momma Bindel say COBRA benefit almost up on Bo Bindel and have to see dentist today!
Bo Bindel no know what all fancy talk mean. Bo just know that Momma Bindel get mad, she wake Bo Bindel up early all week.
So Bo Bindel start run real big-time run. Bo Bindel get to Hell's Highway and hang big time right. Bo Bindel think he remember which way to dentist. Only Dentist who see Troll. Maybe he Troll dentist!
Bo Bindel run to Troll dentist. Running. Running. Running. Then, Bo Bindel get in front of train station before dentist office, and... Aaaaargh! Police Drone send Bo Bindel to jail. Bo Bindel mad! Bo Bindel almost there! What Bo Bindel do?!
Now, Bo Bindel sit in jail. Bo Bindel tooth ache. But tonight...chow time, head count then lights out.
Free food for Bo Bindel! Who laughing now, Police Drone!?
Bo Bindel's Big-Time Diry
Bo Bindel
Resident Troll, Skyway City
APRIL 11, 2005 add em num
Bo bindel kicked out of jail with no free dinner. This suck.
It good thign that troll gurl break Bo Bindel teeth so teeth no hurts no more, no need dentist now!
Ha ha!
Great stuff. Bo Bindel mart, very mart
Bo Bindel's Big-Time Diry
Bo Bindel
Resident Troll, Skyway City
APRIL 12, 2005
Bo Bindel friend, Jimmy Foster, work at M.C. Louis Investment. Small-time Jimmy Foster get all excited. Talk about first quarter stock report. Bo Bindel not know what all talk mean. But Bo Bindel think he know this. This company Wall-Mart got lot of money.
This give Bo Bindel idea. You want hear it? Troll-Mart!
That right. You want 40 roll toilet paper 2.99? Bo Bindel get you 40 roll for 2.99? You want 2 gallon of hand soap for 4.99? Bo Bindel go get you lot of hand soap. Who gonna stop Bo Bindel?
Your hand be silky smooth for long-time. Plus, your mom make you get more toilet paper, you say. "Mom, we got! Bo Bindel get for us lots." You never run out.
You say Wal-Mart already have 40 roll toilet paper 2.99? Bo Bindel take what you got on you.
Plus, Bo Bindel get you car or Superdine too! Why not get hand soap and car at same place. This give you more time throw rock.
So kape jerk, tell everyone you know! Troll-Mart open for business!
Ahhh...
Thank you.
I needed the smile this morning.
This is some of the funniest stuff I've ever read. Thank you Mr. bINDEL. 5 stars to you.
Silkey Johnson 50 stone/stone on infinity
Proud member of the Defenders Of Paragon.
Many alts on infinity and champion.
Bo Bindel's Big-Time Diry
Bo Bindel
Resident Troll, Skyway City
APRIL 13, 2005
Troll is Troll is Troll.
Bo Bindel got him favorite t-shirt. T-shirt say, "I HEART Skyway City". And Bo Bindel do! But once in while Bo Bindel need break from big-time hustle, big-time bustle. Bo Bindel need get out to country.
So, Bo Bindel big-time happy. Bo Bindel get him invite. Invite say:
Troll Party
Big-Time Fun
Hollows
B.Y.O.S.
Troll friend Beovark come to Bo Bindel's. Got him "I HEART SKYWAY CITY" t-shirt on too. Now Bo Bindel have to change before party!
Sneak in Hollows only small-time problem for smart Troll most day. But today crawl with kapes, police drones, and rabbits. (Troll word for police officers. They always look scared. Just like rabbit.)
Turn out dumb jerk Outcasts take in narc. Narc ugly like Outcast. Narc stink like Outcast. But him Paragon PD!
So narc been telling cape all 'bout Troll and Outcast business in Hollows. Outcast big-time stupid move bring big-time heat down on Hollows. Now, we stuck in Skyway City. Miss party.
Say what you want bout Superdine. But you either Troll or you no Troll. No undercover Troll.
Troll is Troll is Troll. Stupid Outcast.
Bo Bindel's Big Time Diry
Bo Bindel
Resident Troll, Skyway City
APRIL 14, 2005
Bo Bindel up early cutting grass. Momma Bindel wake him up just like Bo said.
City Kid Kody live next door (refridgerator side). He Outcast. He yelling thru window. Tell Bo shut up. Him sleep less than Bo Bindel, and Bo Bindel on Superdine most day.
"What you want Bo Bindel to do small-time City Kid Kody? Lawn mower sound how lawn mower sound."
Bo know what you thinking, but Momma Bindel and Momma Kody play card with other neighbor (television side). Plus, Kody okay.
Troll-friend Svrgyn come by. He got big, big-time Caliban with him. Ask Bo Bindel go rabbit hunting. Bo Bindel like to see how good rabbit run with branch up butt. Bo Bindel laugh just thinking about it. But Bo Bindel cutting grass with tooth ache.
Row after row cut grass. Bo make note to sell grass clippings as Superdine and split profit with Snapper.
Momma Bindel get home and she yelling at Bo Bindel. Bo Bindel no bag grass. Momma Bindel say make mess of yard.
Bo Bindel say, "But Momma, that no mess. That mulch! Good for environment! Paragon Times big-time say!"
But Momma Bindel pretty smart and she no fall for it. Bo Bindel get biodegradable garbage bag from Mighty Mart.
Bag all grass and Bo Bindel done.
Now, what Bo Bindel do to make good impression on big, big-time Caliban today? Then Bo Bindel get idea.
Bo Bindel take leftover bag to Steel Canyon and find Devoured Earth. You think no Devoured Earth in Steel Canyon? Ask unlucky level 9.
Bo tell Devoured Earth, "Get in bag Earth! Biodegrade!"
Bo Bindel think tooth-ache least of problem now.
Bo Bindel's Big-Time Diry
Bo Bindel
Resident Troll, Skyway City
APRIL 15, 2005
Bo Bindel hear latest Paragon Times got article on restaurant reviews. But Bo no believe everthing he read. Bo friend Jimmy Foster say Knight Ridder own everything now. How we not know that this guy Knight Ridder don't throw rock with Colonel Flanders on weekend?
Say what you want 'bout Bo Bindel, but Bo Bindel never lie to you. So, here Bo Bindel's big-time review of restaurant.
Infront Steak House like crap but free.
Major Flanders Fried Chicken like crap but free.
Mega Mart AND Mighty Mart like crap but free.
City of Gyros like crap but free.
El Super Mexicano...Bo no know. Mexican food no agree with Bo Bindel.
What can Bo Bindel say? Momma Bindel good cook.
[ QUOTE ]
Bo tell Devoured Earth, "Get in bag Earth! Biodegrade!"
[/ QUOTE ]
This has got to be one of the funniest lines I have read in a long time. I read it at work, and laughed for a good 15 minutes. Thankfully I work in a part of the office that no one else comes by. 
This thread has been the highlight of the week for me. Keep up the great work Fire_Wall, and I cant wait to read more! 
Infinity
Raziell, Sundur, Unknown Spark, Crynix, Eldrick, Yanos, Blondar
Pinnacle
Astartes, Sepsis
Bo Bindel's Big-Time Diry
Bo Bindel
Resident Troll, Skyway City
APRIL 18, 2005
Bo Bindel put on comfy slipper. Get morning paper. Yard look good if Bo Bindel do say for Bo Bindel.
Outcast City Kid Kody, just coming home. He way vlarded. He say, "Hey, Bo! 'Troll goods best goods! Troll grammar NOT good!'"
Bo Bindel hate jerk who laugh at own joke.
Just like Bo Bindel knew, order come down from big, biggest-time Troll. Biggest-time Atta. Atta say Outcast gotta go. Gotta leave Hollows.
Ogre boss send Freudel, big-time Jutal, to get me for Hollows smash and crash. Rather go with Beovark or Svrgyn, cuz Freudel make fun of Bo Bindel for living with mother. What Freudel know about boy's relationship with mother!?
But today serious business. No question orders If Outcast can't beat Troll, Outcast blow-up Hollows. Blow up Trolls!
Freudel, Bo Bindel get to Hollows. Bo Bindel not good with calendar days, but Bo Bindel pretty sure he miss 2 or 3 Teen Titans smashing Outcast.
Get down to Bo Bindel and Lead Shocker. Bo Bindel smashing and crashing. Outcast shocking and shocking. Smashing/bashing. Shocking/shocking.
Bo Bindel get tired some reason. Outcast shocking. Bo Bindel smashing. Then, Bo Bindel sleeping.
When Bo Bindel wake up, Bo Bindel win fight! How he know!? Bo Bindel got Outcast ID 'round neck!
Bo Bindel go to Ogre, Oglost, who celebrating with more Superdine than Bo Bindel ever see in one place. Bo Bindel show Oglost Outcast ID necklace.
Oglost say, "Bo Bindel, tell big-time Ogre something big-time Ogre don't know.
"Big-time is Troll! Small-time is Outcast!"
You know what? He right.
Bo Bindel get home. He knock on wall (refridgerator side). He yell to City Kid Kody, "Hey! Kody! Small-time Outcast blow up everything they no smash, Outcast be blowing up lot of stuff!"
Maybe Bo Bindel laugh at own joke just this one time.
Bo Bindel's Big-Time Diry
Bo Bindel
Resident Troll, Skyway City
APRIL 19, 2005
Dear Mr. Positron,
First, let Bo Bindel say you are big-time smart. Also, you handsome but in rugged way that no take away from you masculinity.
Secondly, Bo Bindel hear you got racket where small-time, young, unorganized kape jerk come to you to get clobbered by villain group all the time. This what Bo Bindel call WIN-WIN.
Bo Bindel got idea to make your racket better. Ready Bo's idea? Troll.
That right. Currently you got Vahzilok, Clockwork Knights, and Circle of Thorns in racket. These jerk hitting lotto every night and Bo Bindel seeing no action.
With this letter, Bo Bindel including sign. Sign say, "Gone fishin'. Be Back Tumorow."
Put up sign in Steel Canyon and come meet Bo Bindel in Skyway City. We have business meeting and iron out details. Bo Bindel have bagels and deviled eggs for us. You like deviled egg? Bo Bindel love deviled egg.
You come see Bo Bindel. Bo Bindel and Positron be proactive on getting young dumb cape jerk to get beat up by Trolls. Bo Bindel thank you very much.
Your number one fan,
Bo Bindel
Enclosures: "Gone Fishin'. Be Back Tumorow" Sign
You crack me up!
Signed,
Titan
Big-Time Kape Jerk
Bo Bindel's Big-Time Diry
Bo Bindel
Resident Troll, Skyway City
APRIL 20, 2005
Mindel mindel mo mindel
Banana fana fo findel
Me my mo mindel
Bo Bindel!!
Findel findel fo findel
Ranana rana ro rindel
Fe fy fo findel
Bo Bindel!!
Gindel gindel go gindel
Janana....
Huh!? Bo Bindel not know he writing.
Dear Bo Bindel,
I might be a big-time kape jerk but I'm enjoying reading your adventures. Such a lovely young Troll, who minds his Momma. If I see you in Skyway I'll be sure to not send you to the Zig....well maybe because I'd hate for you to miss the opportunity to write about your Zig adventures.
Signed,
Lady Kape Jerk
PS: I hear that Jutal is trying put a contract out on you because you're getting too popular with the Kape Jerks. You didn't hear that from me though. Watch out for those Clockworks.
Bo Bindel's Big-Time Diry
Bo Bindel
Resident Troll, Skyway City
APRIL 21, 2005
Bo Bindel big-time party three days straight after Hollows victory. When Bo Bindel get like this, he like to go to highway and unwind. Troll find car exhaust very relaxing...take edge off Superdine.
So, Bo Bindel have Trollkins -- Attavel and Attagard -- pick Bo up and take to highway. Just like Bo said, highway did trick.
Next thing you know, Bo Bindel hear Trollkins yell "Gotcha!" Then...kapes beating crap out of Bo Bindel.
Bo Bindel, Attavel and Attagard jump off bridge, hit ground hard. Bo Bindel ask, "Small-time Trollkins, why you yell 'Gotcha'?"
Trollkins say they thought Bo PRETEND to be sleep.
Huh!? Bo Bindel not pretend to be sleep!! Bo Bindel sleep!!
"Don't yell Gotcha, Trollkins!! Wake Bo up!!" Bo say.
Next time Bo Bindel need ride to highway after 'dine bender, Bo Bindel have Beovark sidekick small-time Trollkins.
Bo Bindel's Big-Time Diry
Bo Bindel
Resident Troll, Skyway City
APRIL 22, 2005
Two things about Oglost. Oglost always big-time mean, and big-time vlarded. Oglost love Superdine more than anyone Bo Bindel know. Think 'bout that for second.
So, Bo Bindel get the call. Pick up 'dine from Oglost. Take to Skulls. Get money. Bring to Oglost.
Yeah, Bo Bindel think it complicated too.
So, Oglost show me bill with Benjamin Franklin. Tell me to bring back 50 to him.
Bo Bindel ask, "He losing hair...green too. He Troll?"
But Oglost look like Oglost no want to answer Bo.
On way, Bo Bindel remember Trolls on all money. All money green. Bo Bindel can't remember how many of that Troll, Benjamin Franklin, to bring back.
Then, Bo Bindel get to Skulls. Skull mask man talking all-fancy talk. Talking very fast to Bo Bindel. Bo Bindel start sweating. Why he talking so fast?! Bo no like it!
Bo Bindel kind of lose it. He start smashing Skull mask men. Then Bo Bindel remember Skull bullets.
But Bo Bindel listen to big-time Jutals, Gardvorks, and Ogres. Real good listen.
Bo Bindel's Troll training kick in. Troll smash! Troll bash! Troll crash! Troll smash!
Skulls in big pile. Bo Bindel got money and Superdine. Bo Bindel run, run, run. Kape and Police Drone all 'round.
Bo Bindel hurt from bullets, tooth ache, and got all this contraba... contraba... contra... Rawwwrr! Dine and Benjamin Franklin!
Bo Bindel say, "Oglost, Oglost and Bo Bindel no believe this, but Skull not want to give me all the Benjamin Franklin Trolls! But Bo Bindel smash!"
Oglost say, "This not good. Atta may not like fight war on two front...Outcast and Skull war."
Bo Bindel say, "But Oglost, Skulls small-time. Trolls big-time."
Oglost say, "Bo Bindel make good point. Still, Atta may say attract kape attention."
Bo Bindel want to say kape beat crap out of Troll all day, everyday so what difference!? But Bo Bindel learn no talk back too much. And Oglost very unpredicta... unpredicta... Uggggh! Oglost crazy.
Instead, Bo Bindel look at all those Benjamin Franklins. Oglost look at Benjamin Franklins. Bo Bindel look at all 'dat Superdine. Oglost look at Superdine.
Bo Bindel say, "So.... Bo Bindel do good right?"
Oglost say, "Yeah. Bo Bindel do good. Big-time good for Oglost. Oglost thinks Bo big-time Jutal now."
But Bo Bindel no feel bad. Bo Bindel tell small-time lie. Now, Bo Bindel big-time Troll!
[ QUOTE ]
Skull mask man talking all-fancy talk. Talking very fast to Bo Bindel. Bo Bindel start sweating. Why he talking so fast?! Bo no like it!
Bo Bindel kind of lose it. He start smashing Skull mask men.
[/ QUOTE ]
This was just too much, I love this. 8)
Bo Bindel's Big-Time Diry
Bo Bindel
Resident Troll, Skyway City
APRIL 25, 2005
Bo Bindel glad to see some arena sales reps green and mean. We here. We Troll. Get used to it.
[ QUOTE ]
Bo Bindel's Big-Time Diry
Bo Bindel
Resident Troll, Skyway City
APRIL 19, 2005
Dear Mr. Positron,
First, let Bo Bindel say you are big-time smart. Also, you handsome but in rugged way that no take away from you masculinity.
Secondly, Bo Bindel hear you got racket where small-time, young, unorganized kape jerk come to you to get clobbered by villain group all the time. This what Bo Bindel call WIN-WIN.
Bo Bindel got idea to make your racket better. Ready Bo's idea? Troll.
That right. Currently you got Vahzilok, Clockwork Knights, and Circle of Thorns in racket. These jerk hitting lotto every night and Bo Bindel seeing no action.
With this letter, Bo Bindel including sign. Sign say, "Gone fishin'. Be Back Tumorow."
Put up sign in Steel Canyon and come meet Bo Bindel in Skyway City. We have business meeting and iron out details. Bo Bindel have bagels and deviled eggs for us. You like deviled egg? Bo Bindel love deviled egg.
You come see Bo Bindel. Bo Bindel and Positron be proactive on getting young dumb cape jerk to get beat up by Trolls. Bo Bindel thank you very much.
Your number one fan,
Bo Bindel
Enclosures: "Gone Fishin'. Be Back Tumorow" Sign
[/ QUOTE ]
That is the funniest thing that I have ever read. Good job!
"I'm sorry. That data is SuPer-Admin Restricted Desktop Access password-protected."
"What!? This is madness!"
"No, this is SPARDA."
Bo Bindel needs to be in the comic book Paragon Times section. Preferably with someone who can illust...ill....DRAW GOOD!
(OK, no more Dyne before bedtime for me.)
Bo Bindel's Big-time Diry
Resident Troll, Skyway City
APRIL 9, 2005
Firiend come to Bo Bindel and say, "Bo, why Troll always run crazy kape jerks?"
Bo say, "No, Troll no run. Troll big smash and crash."
Friend tell Bo, "No, bO. Troll run! Paragon Times big-time say!"
So, Bo get to thinking, "Bo hungry. Then Bo think, yeah, why Troll run?!"
Bo go to ask big-time boss, big-time Jutal, "Jutal, why you run from Kape last time?"
And Jutal say,"You see me with arms-folded, small-time Bo Bindel, selling big-time Superdine! You know I move arm all 'round and talk real good talk Superdine customer! Big-time Jutal no get beat by crazy Kape! Small-time Bo bINdel, better crazy kape beat up him."
Bo Bindel get mad...then get hungry...then remember Bo Bindel mad. Bo Bindle beat chest so big-time Jutal know Bo mad.
Bo Bindel say, "Next time Bo Bindel fold arm. Bo Bindel sell Superdine. Bo Bindel talk talk to Skull mask man, and big-time Jutal get beat by stupid Kape."
Now bo Bindel get beat by crazy Kape-man AND big-time Jutal. *Sigh.* Bo Bindel head hurt.