I'm glad I wasn't drinking anything while I read that.
Screw every one of you, and then your ovens. Marcian_Tobay
You don't get something for nothing
You can't have freedom for free
-Rush-
Quote:
The title warned me. |
Originally Posted by BJShygo
I'm glad I wasn't drinking anything while I read that.
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Very nice.
But it's MY sadistic mechanical monster and I'm here to make sure it knows it. - Girl Genius
List of Invention Guides
Wasn't drinking, but damn near choked on an M&M..
No one pays attention to me, cause I listen to the voices in my head.
This should totally go into an NPC conversation somewhere in the maps... 
August 31, 2012. A Day that will Live in Infamy. Or Information. Possibly Influence. Well, Inf, anyway. Thank you, Paragon Studios, for what you did, and the enjoyment and camaraderie you brought.
This is houtex, aka Mike, signing off the forums. G'night all. - 10/26/2012
Well... perhaps I was premature about that whole 'signing off' thing... - 11-9-2012
Quote:
I'm surprised she hasn't learned that lesson on her way to the office.
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Originally Posted by Steelclaw
Caller: (frosty-toned) Any other sage advice, buster?
Operator: Yeah... industrial strength purses... a strap tensile strength of at LEAST 65 torque pounds. Caller: Huh? What in the heck for? Operator: You'll learn. Thank you for calling Paragon 9-1-1... Have a good day. (click) |
Paragon Unleashed Forums
Twitter: @Alpha_Ryvius
genius. They should employ you as a freelance dialogue writer, dude. 
Eco.
MArcs:
The Echo, Arc ID 1688 (5mish, easy, drama)
The Audition, Arc ID 221240 (6 mish, complex mech, comedy)
Storming Citadel, Arc ID 379488 (lowbie, 1mish, 10-min timed)
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Samuel_Tow
[The Incarnate System is] Jack Emmert all over again, only this time it's not "1 hero = 3 white minions" it's "1 hero = 3 white rocks."
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That was . . . . . . awesome! One of your best ones i think!
@Damz Find me on the global channel Union Chat. One of the best "chat channels" ingame!
More genius work
Praise to the master
Imagine trying to describe a complex mission to the operator.
Quote:
I have learned to not consume any beverage or food item while reading a Steelclaw post. |
Originally Posted by BJShygo
I'm glad I wasn't drinking anything while I read that.
|
There I was between a rock and a hard place. Then I thought, "What am I doing on this side of the rock?"
HA HA Another awesome funny thread there Steelclaw.
Cancel the kitchen scraps for widows and lepers, no more merciful beheadings and call off christmas!
Quote:
My favorite line.|
Originally Posted by Steelclaw
Operator: You sound out of breath...
Caller: I'm still running. Operator: Why don't you stop? Caller: Well... it's strange to say but... well... I can't seem to stop. Operator: Welcome to Paragon, ma'am. |
As always, thanks for the guffaw Steelclaw!
@Winter. Because I'm Winter. Period.
I am a blaster first, and an alt-oholic second.
I always try to rescue those ladies from purse-snatchers. However, whenever I do, they never seem to have their purse anymore! It just disappears, and I feel bad...
~Freitag
Kevin Callanan
Community Specialist
Paragon Studios
The transcript was funny, but my favorite part was the way the Skype on my machine rendered 1-800-Moron as a callable number.
"Bombarding the CoH/V fora with verbosity since January, 2006"
Djinniman, level 50 inv/fire tanker, on Victory
-and 40 others on various servers
A CoH Comic: Kid Eros in "One Light"
Quote:
Agreed. One of your best yet.|
Originally Posted by EU_Damz
That was . . . . . . awesome!
One of your best ones i think! |
d
I loved it as well, really funny!
<B>
Patrice S.
Community Moderator
Paragon Studios </B>
*runs around waving arms and shoving heroes out of the way as they attempt to arrest the intruders*
i've always wanted to be the one who does do that for a change.
Dr. Todt's theme.
i make stuff...
A+++ would read again
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Hyperstrike
English does not borrow from other languages. English follows other languages down dark alleys, hits them over the head, and rifles through their pockets for loose grammar.
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Quote:
It's because u'r a villian...
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Originally Posted by Freitag
I always try to rescue those ladies from purse-snatchers. However, whenever I do, they never seem to have their purse anymore! It just disappears, and I feel bad...
~Freitag |
Quote:
When I showed a friend the game oh so very long ago, long before I was even level 50, I just wanted to show him my powers (Grav/Rad). |
Originally Posted by Freitag
I always try to rescue those ladies from purse-snatchers. However, whenever I do, they never seem to have their purse anymore! It just disappears, and I feel bad...
~Freitag |
So, being in Galaxy City I ran around until I came across a purse snatcher and said "Watch this!" as I pressed Lift and sent the dude flying. I then followed up by sarcastically (with sort of a disappointed/sarcastic combination tone to my voice) saying "I hope the purse was worth it."
To this day years later, we still use that phrase for all sorts of situations ... from beating down video game ememies/bosses, to pointing out when one of us makes a really stupid decisions, to poking fun at tv/movie characters. Basically any situation where the person made a really low gain / high risk / stupid decision. It's more awesome when there's other people in the room who have no idea what the heck we're talking about.
I'd always wondered how the dispatchers knew how to precisely label each crisis so I knew which one fit my particular fancy at the moment. Truly they are the unsung heroes of Paragon City, tirelessly working to help me know where to get my loot, er, where the fair people of the city need help the most.
AE Arcs: #10482 N00b Rescue Duty, #164100 The Four Treasures of the Tuatha De Dannan
Quote:
are you sure about that, I thought the clue should've been the fact it was a Steelclaw post.
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Originally Posted by TerraDraconis
The title warned me.
Very nice. |
On Justice
Global @Desi Nova Twitter: @desi_nova Steam: Desi_nova. I don't do Xbox or PS3
(Later, on a Paragon City street...)
Caller: OUTTA MY WAY, HERO! And THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH for stopping at Wentworths before answering my call!
*shoves hero aside and keeps on walking*
__________________________________________________ _
And once again, Steelclaw clears up a mystery about our fair city.
"How do you know you are on the side of good?" a Paragon citizen asked him. "How can we even know what is 'good'?"
"The Most High has spoken, even with His own blood," Melancton replied. "Surely we know."
A sad testament to AI used for NPCs in this game.
"Samual_Tow - Be disappointed all you want, people. You just don't appreciate the miracles that are taking place here."
Operator: Paragon City 911; what's your emergency?
Caller: Oh thank god! The office building! It's filled with hooligans and gang members! They've got guns!
Operator: Understood ma'am... now how is your emergency classified?
Caller: Classified?! I just told you! There are armed invaders inside the building! Send the police immediately! We're at the Hoffenfranz Building in Talos Island!
Operator: Let me guess... you've never called Paragon 9-1-1 before, have you?
Caller: Well... no actually... I just moved into the city three weeks ago.
Operator: (sighs) Okay.. no problem... I'll walk you through the procedure. First we need to identify who has invaded the building. Can you describe one of them?
Caller: And after I've described them... THEN you'll send the police?
Operator: That's not ... quite... how it works here ma'am... just work with me and everything will be fine. What do the invaders look like?
Caller: Well.. they look bizarre to be honest... is there a Sci-Fi convention in town or something? They all seem to have robot parts. Oh, and they all look like they just came from a punk-rock concert too...
Operator: Ah, Freakshow. Excellent. Now... I need to know if you're a hostage or not.
Caller: Of course I'm a hostage!! Didn't I just tell you they've taken over the entire building?!
Operator: (counting silently to ten) That's not exactly what I meant ma'am... Let me rephrase the question... are there currently any assailants standing around you and ONLY you? Maybe looking intimidating or even just staring blankly off into space?
Caller: Is this a freaking joke? Did I call 1-800-Moron or something?!
Operator: Just answer the question, ma'am.
Caller: NO. There is no one standing around me... I ran away from the invaders first chance I got like any sensible person would!
Operator: You sound out of breath...
Caller: I'm still running.
Operator: Why don't you stop?
Caller: Well... it's strange to say but... well... I can't seem to stop.
Operator: Welcome to Paragon, ma'am.
Caller: What?
Operator: Never mind. Have you seen anyone else who HAS been capable of standing still? Probably with a lot of those sci-fi punk rockers standing around them?
Caller: No... everyone else seems to be running around aimlessly too...
Operator: Have you noticed any strange, glowing objects? Or heard a low, sort of throbbing noise?
Caller: Are you insinuating I take drugs?!
Operator: I'll take that as a "No" then... Hmmm... Have you heard any of the Freaks talking?
Caller: As a matter of fact, yes... I heard one of them say that RoboRooter was going to rule this town... or something like that.
Operator: Ah! Excellent... Take down the boss character and his guards... finally... Okay ma'am.. I'll put it out on the police radio that we have a problem in your building. I'm sure some hero will be along shortly to help you out.
Caller: That's it?! You mean to tell me the police aren't going to respond AT ALL?!
Operator: Not in our job descriptions ma'am.
Caller: Then what do you people DO?
Operator: Sit around the police station waiting for the Bank to be robbed, mostly... then when it's robbed we go out and stand around in the streets.
Caller: You mean you don't even go TO the bank?
Operator: Nope... they have security for that. We just stand around in the streets.
Caller: (long period of stunned silence) So what in the world am I supposed to do until your stupid hero GETS HERE?!
Operator: Run around randomly in terror, I suppose... It's not like you have much choice in the matter. Oh, and incidently, if you decide to remain in our fair city... you may want to invest in a pair of comfortable running shoes.
Caller: (frosty-toned) Any other sage advice, buster?
Operator: Yeah... industrial strength purses... a strap tensile strength of at LEAST 65 torque pounds.
Caller: Huh? What in the heck for?
Operator: You'll learn. Thank you for calling Paragon 9-1-1... Have a good day.
(click)
My mind wanders so often you've probably seen its picture on milk cartons. - Me... the first person version of the third person Steelclaw