Things Not to Say During Your CoX Interview

Should you ever be called in to interview for a developer or team position with Paragon Studios here are a few things you should probably NOT say...

That's me... trying to help prepare you for life's little surprises...

* The only thing I can't take is criticism... as long as everything I put into the game is universally adored... I'm golden!

* Yeah.. I lost my last job because of a sexual harassment suit... but don't worry.. as long as you don't have a chick in charge there won't be a problem...

* How do I feel about meetings? Do you read Dilbert?

* I would love to work for your art department! My skills are exceptional! I just have two words for the game's future art direction... Fan Service!

* Yeah, my writing so far has consisted of a lot of Slash fi... er... Fan Fiction. In fact, I have a great idea for a story line involving Statesman and Synapse...

* My qualifications for the job? I've got a 50 for every AT and powerset combination in the game... I can quote character dialog from every story line in the game... and I once played the game for so long my internet service providor arranged an intervention.

* I know I don't have an appointment but you have to admit I'm the best videographer you've seen since the game began... I know I don't have an appointment... What makes me think I have the right? The one thousand five hundred thirty two forumites standing outside your offices right now chanting "Michelle... Michelle... Michelle..."

* Oh come on... just imagine the horror that would sweep the forums if they saw the name Westley.... in RED.

and finally...

* Steelclaw: "I'd be willing to accept part time work... no no... I mean EXTREMELY part time work... even less than two days a week... more like one day... a YEAR... just April Fool's day.. that's all I ask... give me April Fool's day! What? Security? Oh, that's original, like I haven't been thrown out of a building before!"

"What makes you think I'm an Automaton?"

"How about if I do the "Get Some" emote?"

"I'd love to work for you guys. It's what Lord Nemesis programmed me fo--SEQUENCE TERMINATED. THIS AUTOMATON WILL NOW SELF DESTRUCT. GOOD DAY."

One thousand five hundred and thrity three forumites chanting, cause I'd surely be there too!

"I got turned down over at CO, but working for COH would be good enough, I suppose."

"I think there's a few nerfs we should roll back... No, not travel suppression... No, not ED... Do you remember what you did to poor Swan?"

"I really think you're missing a whole demographic out there; all I'm saying is Statesman / Lord Recluse love affair."

"What do you mean 'No stripper pole' emote? It works on so many levels!"

-"Monte Carlo Method? Like with the cars? Sure, I know all about that!"

• "Have you guys considered a PvP game?"
• "Positron, eh? Is that because you annihilate everything you come in contact with?"
• "I can't wait to start working with guys like Castle and Back Alley Brawler!"
• "Why'd you guys ever stop doing timed outdoor defeat all missions?"
• "C'mon! It's not a real TF until the 15th mission!"

and for the love of god, don't wink at any point in the interview.

"Of course I want to work here! I love CoX!"
"Where do I see myself in five years? Doing whatever I can for CoX!"
Etc.

~ Hey do you have kids? Want them returned alive? ha ha! I am a villain after all!
~ What do you guys think of changing the term 'Arrested' to 'MURDERED!', like in cold blood.
~ Two words. Game Reset.
~ I'm just here for the Day Job accolade.
~ No job is worth compromising my lofty ideals. Unless there's free stuff.
~ I bring sweeping changes. I am the harbinger of DOOM!

Hi, I have a real and actual life outside of City of Heroes. Where I worked at a real job, and have a real family, and...yes...I even posted on other websites that have nothing to do with you and are my own personal beeswax.

That wouldn't color your opinion of me, would it? Because that would be immoral.

"Hi, I'm Jack! Jack Emmert!"