An open letter to the Paragon Studios Team

Dear Paragon Studios Devs, and forum moderators,

Having been a long time fan of the City of Heroes and Villains community, I have seen the game through the best of times, the Doooooooom! of times, and the "eh" of times (When ones indifference elicit neither Woots of joy nor cries of Dooooom). However, as of Monday, April 5th, 2010, I have reached the lowest point in my life on these forums, a mixture of rage, doom, and emo-ness burning deep in my Liquid belly. You see, one of my favorite things about our fair community was the cake.

Every year, on our Birthdays, that delicious little cake icon would appear next to our names for that one magical day (Which would sometimes be promptly eaten by Miss Kitty). And so it goes that each year I would sit in anticipation for that single day, when that yummy cake with it's delicious cakey goodness would appear next to my name. And thus on monday, I waited in giddy anticipation. I realized it had not yet appeared as of 4am that morning. But I figured that it was okay, maybe it was simply that cruel mistress that is the Time Zones. Surely, my cake would appear, as it had every year before? And so I waited. And waited. And waited. It was then I came to one horrible realization, one that pecked away at the fragile workings of my mind like a Deep Crow feeding on the festering manifestations of the dark spawn of Cthulu. I realized... that the promise of cake was a LIE. Not only that, but they could not even be bothered to send me a "happy birthday" letter that every other forum does.

After finally awakening from my Hastings Fruit Pie induced coma (Along with the twelve 24 packs of Mountain Dew Code Red, a crate of Slim Jims, and the musical stylings of Hirano Aya singing Cha-La-Head-Cha-La), I have come to the decision that this slap in the face to such a loyal player (Who, it should be noted, spends 15 dollars a month, and thus makes me better then everyone else) cannot stand. As such, I will now present my demands that I expect you, the staff and Moderators of Paragon Studios to meet, in order to make ammends for this grevious insult. My demands are as follows:

1: The return of the Cake icon, to be displayed next to the name of every player on their rightfull birthdays as dictated by the current calendar.

2: An e-mail, wishing a happy birthday to said player on their birthday, as a show of goodwill to it's playerbase.

3: The addition of the Birthday costume pack, which will include (But not be limited too) a conical birthday party hat, a Birthday sash, and a Birthday suit (Which shall include an optional version that will be composed of special fibers that only those of superior intelligence will be able to see), as well as a /Confetti and /Noisemaker emotes.

4: Written and Verbal appologies from Melissa "War Witch" Bianco, Matt "Positron" Miller, NCSoft CEO T.J. Kim, and Rob Liefeld. Also, the Grandmothers (Or mothers, or appropriate female relatives) of each must also bake a tray of fresh baked cookies (Cupcakes, Brownies, or other confectionaries of equal or greater value shall also be accepted) as way of appologies for their relatives behaviors.

5: FIIIIIIIIIIVE GOLDEEEEEEEN RIIIIIIIINGS!

6: 95 More Golden rings, so I can get that 1-Up.

7: March 10th to be declared as "National Pantsless Day", in which all characters in-game shall be displayed without Pants.

8: The addition of Carp Melee, a long awaited feature (And the fact that it has not yet been added is a fact of criminal proportions), as well as Pistol Scrappers and the ability to dual wield Dominators.

9: A signed copy of the book Real Life. Why are you guys looking at me like that for? It's for my mother. Seriously. ...STOP JUDGING ME!

10: One Pohsyb action figure, complete with Box playset.

Now, I hope that my resonable, well thought out demands for reperations will be fulfilled by our Dev's. Otherwise, this will simply be one more slap in the face in a long line of slaps in the faces, to rival even the slappiest slap in the face that they have ever slapped us in the face with.

I shall be awaiting your response.

Sincerely,
Liquid Horatio X

Ze win!

that is awesome and should be answered and taken care of asap. lol

Awww, you poor thing. Happy birthday and have some moar cake!



Horatio?

LEGION OF VALOR - Be a part of the Legend!

Har!

Here is the missing cake code:

And here I thought I was the only one for whom the cake didn't appear.

TEH DEVS HATE CAKE!

LEGION OF VALOR - Be a part of the Legend!

Nothing but win... (I had to double check to make sure this wasn't a Steelclaw post :P )

You sir may have your cake and eat it too.

I have it on good information that the whole 'the cake is a lie' thing was actually a rumour started by the Pie, with help from the Cookie and the Muffin in order to discredit cake's goodness. It's still universely known that everything is good when there's cake involved (Except carrot cake. Vegetables have NO PLACE in a cake) but the Pie, the Muffin and the Cookie were jealous of Cake's reputation and tried to sully it.

When we were implementing the new forums, it came to my notice that there was no birthday pie option. After extensive debate on the issue, we felt that allowing birthday cake and not pie would be essentially weighing in on the cake vs. pie debate and this is a subject that we have official neutrality on.

I mean if players can't see for themselves the complete and total superiority of pie, then what can we do for them anyways?

Well, bugger that.

*sends LiquidX a tray of brownies*

Michelle
aka
Samuraiko/Dark_Respite (who has just had a birthday herself on the 3rd)