[ QUOTE ]
Question for Col i mean. (sorry sorry blond moment here)
From reading your reviews you are using a pretty hard AT to do them. Might I suggest using a more appropriate one when you test low level arcs? I found that trying to survive with a lowbie gives another perspective to an arc. Especially when it is supposedly designed for lowbies.
[/ QUOTE ]
Devils advocate here;
Using an underpowered lowbie will take Col longer per mission. Given he's just jumped in at the deep end with a review-tastic thread then I think we should forgive him for playing a higher-powered toon, thus reviewing arcs quicker.
Additionally, col has been around long enough to be able to work out when his toon is ploughing through minions that it may be tougher at lower levels and factor that into a review. This also avoids him having to give up an arc due to a particularly tough boss/EB.
Fahie
Nice reviews Col. 
Feel free to review mine Col.
"Trouble in the Music Business"
ID: 63175
Morality: Heroic
Lady Arete on Unionhandbook
My Excel Badge tool
[ QUOTE ]
I am wondering if the lack of play and ratings is because it has been lost in the shuffle
[/ QUOTE ]
Highly likely. I published one this morning and within two minutes it had vanished off the first page (reverse sorted by date). There are over 70k arcs now.
If you could find your way towards reviewing Collared By the Maestro. I can't recall the Arc ID right now but it is under the author name @Bluedarky.
[ QUOTE ]
Arc #1090, "It's a Knife-Eat-Fork World"
tl;dr: Rating mercifully withheld until fixed. Several canon violations, non-heroic "Heroic" arc, "Just a bunch of stuff that happened", surprise timed missions, gratuitous custom faction, Wall Banger plot, inconsistent level cap, mission order royally messed up and confusing.
The story begins with your contact reminding you of those chips you found and telling you those cyborgs are holed up in a lab... Wait, what?
Okay, it looks like the author was testing mission 4 of the arc and forgot to put the order back the way it's meant to be when he published it. This is hardly excusible, but I've got a review to do.
Anyway, I rush over to the abandoned lab and am greeted by a bunch of custom mobs that are basically the full female Cyborg costume set. Minions were dual blades/something, lieutenants are elec blast/elec manipulation. I was on my Elec/Elec Brute, so they didn't really do much. There was also a hostage named "Fork", who was not mentioned by the contact at all, and whose description was "Fork in the heat of battle", while he was appropriately cowering on his knees. Okay. Fork turned out to be Elec Blast/Elec Armor and helped me take care of all of the 8 or 10 cyborgs on the small map. The mission outro text stated that apparently I had dismantled a whole army of the things. This is one of the very rare cases where I'd say a LARGER map would be better for the mission.
Next up, mission 2! Apparently those cyborgs, whom I just wiped out completely, are robbing a bank. This feels like watching the Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi all over again, with the non-chronological order. Kind of surreal, but not in a good sense.
Anyway, it's a LSSL map, and thus once again rather short. Gotta love that catchy beat in the background though. Having beaten up the cyborgs with little effort, I found a safe in the vault. Since this is a Heroic arc, I naturally crack the safe and loot its insides. Sadly, all that's inside is a tape recording, where some scientist tells you to stay away from the cyborgs because "YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GETTING YOURSELF IN TO". Might have been more dramatic if I were playing a toon without capped Energy resistance, but that's not the author's fault.
Next up, mission 3. Your contact sends you to break "Helen" out of the Zig. Wait, what? I thought this was a Hero arc?
What's even more of a Wall Banger is his claim that "the guards are off duty, so the prisoners are all loose". If this was meant to be a joke, it was poorly executed in my honest opinion. This mission exemplars you down to the level of the Prisoners faction. Surprise exemplaring is something you really should avoid in an arc, unless there's a very good story-based reason for it.
Anyway, Helen turns out to be a Knives boss. After defeating the Prisoners guarding her cell, who are pestering her to give them weapons (why the heck would she have weapons in her cell? The Guards Must Be Crazy.), she tells you the Knives were planning on taking over the world after enslaving the cyborgs. Right. This is wrong on so many levels it's a little depressing. She also mentions you were the one who arrested her in the first place - that's nice to know, but makes rescuing her even more bizarre. Fortunately this is not an escort, so she just runs off and the mission is complete.
Next up, mission... 1!
*Rubs temples.*
Alright, your contact asks you if you want to know about something that's all over the news. This implies your character does not read newspapers or watch TV. Right.
Anyway, the Knives are, for some reason, attacking the WSPDR building in Cap au Diable. Your contact gives you an excellent reason to stop them: Because otherwise you won't have good TV to watch. Why a hero would be watching TV broadcast by WSPDR is beyond me. Anyway, the boss is Helen again. Wait, my bad, this is the -first- time you meet her. She's wearing a more-or-less convincing Knives outfit replica, which is immediately ruined by her drawing Claws when you agro her. At least the author didn't give her the currently-bugged Ninjitsu to emulate a KoA cloaking device. She went down pretty quickly on Unyielding, without hurting me much.
Thoroughly chronologically confused now, the bizarre plot not helping to bring much clarification to the whole matter, your contact finally sends you to Atlas Park, where the Knives have apparently started work on taking over the world.
Um, yeah.
Apparently, you, having destroyed the cyborgs, actually helped them, somehow. It's left unclear how or why, but it has something to do with them looting chips off the destroyed cyborgs.
Um, yeah.
The map choice is a little unfortunate. There is a completely random huge asteroid lodged in the ground next to the city hall, and you enter through an Aspect of the Pillar.
Honestly, with the way the arc's been playing so far, you could easily change the parameter to "Villainous" and change the map the the final LRSF map, where you enter through an Arachnos Flier (there's no asteroid either), and nobody would bat an eye.
You find Fork again here. For some incomprehensible reason, the KoA guarding him yells "Get his electricity!". This was also exclaimed in mission on-... four, where one of the cyborgs guarding Fork said the same thing.
The goal of the mission is to protect a Rikti Bomb. The Knives guarding it have some wonderful lines of text, along the lines of "If we punch it real hard, it'll blow up!".
...
After taking out the suicidally stupid Knives around the bomb, and waiting half a minute for their Caltrops to fade, the arc finally ended with a mission success.
And that's about it.
I have to be honest, this arc is pretty bad. I'm not even sure how you could salvage it. The story makes almost no sense at all - the messed up mission order doesn't help. Fork's presence or feature in the name of the arc is not explained at all. The cyborgs are not explained at all, at least not to the player - the contact mentions getting more info on them off the tape recording, which he does not share with you. Breaking villains out of the Zig is not heroic, an that entire mission is just jarringly bizarre. There is so much wrong with this story that it really needs a total makeover. Also, Helen really ought to be Broadsword/Something. You might actually -improve- the arc by rewriting it as a villain arc. As it stands now I honestly can't recommend it to anyone for playing, to be brutally honest.
Further reviews postponed until Maintenance is finished.
[/ QUOTE ]
Thanks for the review, even though you didn't rate it too highly - I didn't realise that the missions were mixed up - thanks for that 
By the way, I did feel I wanted it to change it to Villainous with breaking Helen out of the Zig and all, but the overall "save the world" plot did make me want to just make it Heroic.
I'll read your review in further detail later.
Nice to see reviews on forums (as well as cohguides)
In the fullness of time:
Fat Lou and the Pharmer
ID: 15284
Morality: Heroic, but its a humour arc so whatever!
The Viral Army
ID: 23256
Morality: Heroic
(Perfectly soloable, but more fun in teams)
EDIT: Just saw you only want one arc! Dont blame you. In that case, Viral Army please, as thats the one I can actually change (grrr bloat bug!)
Hi Col
This is a great idea and your reviews are well thought out and written.
Although on one level I am petrified, lol, could I offer up
Valley of the Harpies 74519
I would offer up the other 2 but I although I have been told they are fun, I am not sure how long they will last.
Thanks
Zhaan, Chakyra, Fiorina 161, Aeryn, Polly Nation, Dee Pression, Shazanne, Night Jester and too many more to mention.
Network Hell 47640
Valley of the Harpies 74519
Green and Pleasant Land 75966
If you are up to it and all I love to hear what you think of my arc.
ID 2505
and a poster:P http://zouron.otherworlders.org/coh/...f-the-nile.jpg
EU Global: @Night Druid
Little Squeak: Little Squeak talked to Me and Me said that Me is Me when Me thinks of me and Me is Me's name
Toxic Glow: I was tryin' ta teach her not ta refer ta herself in the third person, an it backfired
Forum ate my first post which I spent a good 20 minutes typing, bleh.
Anyway, for the sake of fairness, I'll only pick one arc, when an author offers me a list of several choices. You're free to re-list the other one(s) after I'm done with the first one, but they'll be sent to the back of the queue.
Alright, now to retype all of this...
Arc #5213, "Might Makes Right: The One With Tin Hats"
tl;dr: 5 stars. Offenses: Minor grammar hiccups, surprise failable mission, potentially offensive NPC lines, potential godmodding feel.
Used the Brute again for this arc, due to seeing "Malta" in the list of mobs I'll be fighting against. Just remember that this means I'm effectively immune to Endurance Drain for the purpose of finishing the arc without too much of a headache - other ATs/builds should be prepared to face Sappers.
Anyway, the contact is Baphomet's model, amusingly named "Your Inner Thoughts". Some players might feel this counts as godmodding towards the player character, though.
Your inner thoughts mention that a local gang have gotten their hand on some technology that's much too advanced for simply pimping their cars. You decide to go and help yourself.
You're greeted by a custom faction of Greasers, who look very appropriate. The minions are War Mace (pipe wrench) and Martial Arts - my Brute had one or two Stun effects on him permanently throughout the mission, so if you didn't like the Tsoo, you might not like these guys. The Lieutenants are Thugs/Martial Arts, with a somewhat painful Crane Kick.
You're supposed to collect 4 glowies and defeat the Boss. The glowies look exactly like the decorative crates in the Garage/Warehouse, so they might be tricky to spot; luckily three of the four glowies were in the same room when I ran this mission.
A computer mentions that the Greasers are actually a Malta sub-cell in disguise who have a lot of interest in -you- for something called the Titan Program, and sure enough the Boss is a Malta Gunslinger (named Star Platinum 17, in an awesome reference to JoJo's Bizarre Adventure). He attempts to escape (failable mission?) at 25% HP, but got stuck in map geometry.
Based on information from the data you stole, you do some research and find out an agent named Chameleon is working for the Malta cell. He's also a shapeshifter posing as a councilman in Atlas Park (Malta already employs a shapeshifter named Moment who does this sort of thing from time to time, why not just use him?), currently campaigning against the paving over of a park. Unsurprisingly, the real reason is because there's a subterranean Malta base under the park, and they don't want excavations to uncover it.
Seeking information, you decide the most logical course of action is to enter the heart of Paragon City (all alone if you're not teaming) and kidnap an influential politician during live media coverage. Well, you've probably done crazier things by level 41.
Exiting the Aspect of the Pillar I arrived in (okay, it's actually supposed to be a hijacked van, but we really need more maps for the MA) you find out 3 heroes are also in the area. That's about 27 less than I'd expect to find in Atlas Park in the evening, but willing suspension of disbelief and all that. They're members of the Justice Squad (author SG insertion?) and are optional bosses. I decided to take them on anyway, for reviewing purposes.
First one was American Eagle, a Captain Ersatz of Captain America, MA/Shield. He was also beating up Smelly Hippies for some bizarre reason - not exactly the most heroic thing to do, especially with several Reporters in the area. Anyway, he hit like a truck, as was expected of such a powerset combination, but I took him down without insps or a godmode (other ATs/builds might have trouble with his damage output).
Second was Ironbug, Super Strength/Super Reflexes, who promptly accused my villain of being a homosexual as I aggroed him. This might not be funny to everyone. He died pretty fast.
Last was Witchlock, who turned out to be Mind Control/Something, and frustrated me by spamming Confuse. I killed her with AoEs, other players might want to bring Break Frees for this one, unless they choose to skip the bosses anyway.
There's also an optional flavor text Clue in the area, obtained by destroying a News Vendor.
Ignoring the huge asteroid lodged in the ground next to him, I kidnapped the councilman/Chameleon, and made my way back to the Aspec-... van.
What follows is a short yet very well written and thought-out mission, one of my favorite MA missions so far. Ironbug and Witchlock didn't stay unconcious for long, and are after you, along with a horde of other heroes and Longbow helicopters. Apparently kidnapping a politician in broad daylight gets you a lot of negative attention. Who knew?
They run you off the road in a rather comic-bookish and well-written stunt, which I will not spoil here, and then the mission starts with you crawling out of the wreckage on one of the Skyway City highways - that one underused map with the Longbow helicopters and crashed cars. Witchlock and Ironbug are, once again, optional bosses, whom I skipped this time.
Wading my way through "Longbow", you find the councilman, whose guardians make extremely obvious hints at actually being Malta in disguise. You kidnap him again, upon which you're ambushed by some Hercules Titans - which resulted in a rather epic scene of my Brute running through rapidly fired swarms of missiles constantly shot from 500 yards away. Who says MMORPGs can't produce epic comic-bookish battle scenes? After taking them out, you find a new van, then promptly escape.
After some interrogation, Chameleon spills the location of the Malta cell base, that has their eye on you. Since Malta cells keep minimal contact with one another, you decide that taking out their base puts you back on Malta's ignore list. But first, you decide to take a detour to a local Crey lab, and steal some explosives from them - which they happened to have stolen from Warp Ballistics, who have recently developed WARPnite, an explosive several magnitudes stronger than dynamite. Sounds perfect!
Sadly, this mission is a boring slog through a boring elevatorfest of a Tech Lab map, full of boring Crey Tanks. I recommend the author creates a custom group of Crey, with both the regular Tanks and mobs from the Paragon Protectors faction in it, for variety.
Humorously enough (or intentionally?) the glowie - the safe with the explosives - spawns right around the corner from the mission entrance. The twist is that it's in a sealed container, and you need a retinal scan from the CEO of the facility to open it. Said CEO turns out to be a Crey Scorpion Tank boss named Warpdrive, said to be a part-time superhero (Crey? Hero? Riiiiiight...) and ally of American Eagle.
Anyway, now you have the explosives, so let's get dangerous. The final mission is on the High Rise map (abandoned lab) in Faultline, and populated by Malta. Hope you're good against Sappers.
The goals are to plant 5 bombs and defeat the Boss. Along the way you discover several optional flavor-text clues, such as a whiteboard with some propaganda on it, and a body bag with the body of a member of the Dynamic Duo in it - the Dynamic Duo were two siblings in the Justice Squad. The other member is in this mission too - in the form of a Hercules Titan named Magician's Red (forgot the number), another JoJo reference. She's crying out for her brother, as Malta engineers around her mutter something about her resisting integration, and increasing the dosage. In a rather heartbreaking moment, she mistakes you for her brother after rescuing her (to her credit, she's a little insane from being stuffed into a robot) and becomes an Ally.
The Boss turns out to be two Bosses standing near each other - one is American Eagle, who, despite being captured by Malta, attacks you anyway in an attempt to escape (why didn't he just run away after I attacked the Malta surrounding him?), the other is a Gunslinger named The World (forgot the number), a final JoJo reference. (These references are making it hard to stay objective, since I'm a fan of JoJo's Bizarre Adventures )
After defeating him and exiting the mission, you get a popup stating how the explosion could be heard from both Paragon and the Isles, and a satisfying end to the whole story. You have now learned about the Malta Group and blinded them to your existence.
Overall, a brilliant arc, I have to say it's one of the best I've played since i14 came out, if not THE best. The story absorbs you into it, and doesn't contradict any canon (to my knowledge), remaining convincing throughout the entire arc.
The custom faction didn't feel too forced, and wasn't overly prominent in the story, which further helps it remain canon-faithful (always a plus), though they'll be trouble for those who don't have mez protection.
The end is perfectly satisfying for a villainous arc, and you get to beat up plenty of good guys, despite the main antagonists being villains. There's a few places where the grammar could use a bit of polishing (were -> was), but the text remains mostly consistent and well-written, particularly that of Your Inner Thoughts.
I highly recommend this arc to all high-level Villain players.
[Edit]: Wall of text. Formatting.
Also, I_M: I'd be glad to re-review your arc sometime later after alterations, if you'd like.
Hey, thanks for the glowing review.
Though as to a few of your points:
I have what is probably a bit of a funny personal rule in that 'no canon characters' if I think it is possibly lore bending, hence the err on using Moment and rather had an analogue, as well as no self-insertion (all the custom mobs you see I just made for that arc, so I guess I'll take it as a compliment you actually thought they were player characters ).
As for the little dig made by Ironbug, that's actually a reference from when a certain spider themed hero was speaking trash to a certain rhino themed villain, but I can understand if you think it may be potentially offensive. If anyone truly objects to it (it was 'Hey nice costume $name, your boyfriend made that for ya?' for those curious) then I'll happily take it out.
A Penny For Your Thoughts #348691 <- Dev's Choice'd by Dr. Aeon!
Submit your MA arc for review & my arcs thread
The Wizard of O.S by @Cactus Brawler
Arc ID:79763
Length:Long
Morality: Villainous
Missions: 4
Enemy Group: Freakshow, Custom
Level Range: 20-54
Info: Word on the street is that the Freakshow have something that makes breaking into places child's play, you'd like to get your hands on this. Four elite bosses, should scale down on lower difficulties/team size.
If you get time I'd like to read your thoughts on it Col
Brawling Cactus from a distant planet.
Arc #2502, "A Darker Dawn"
tl;dr: 3 stars. Offenses: Short, "Just a bunch of stuff that happens", inconsistent level cap, typos.
Played my Warshade this time, for a change of pace.
Your contact explains that you've shown interest in obtaining a Hero License through illegal means, through him. But first! He sends you to clear out a warehouse of Hellions.
He mentions that law enforcement won't express interest in whether or not you have a License if you're only dealing with low-threat gang members like the Hellions, which is either debatable or faux-canon created by roleplayers. Anyway, the map is tiny, so after blasting eight or ten Hellions in Nova Form I completed the mission. This mission exemps you to level 14, by the way.
Your contact gives you a little speech which will sound rather ironic if you're playing this on a level 50 toon, but obviously it's aimed at lowbies...
...or is it? Next mission is capped at 54. The upside to this is that I could use Dwarf Form after the custom boss, Officer Shaw, opened the fight with Cobra Strike. I'd have expected her to at least use the nightstick on her belt, though.
Despite being Willpower, a bit of punching eventually wore her down. Squishies might have trouble with her, as custom mobs looooove spamming Cobra Strike. You find the person who was supposed to make a fake ID for you a few yards further into the tiny warehouse, and rescue her. She runs off and mentions relocating to her private office.
Back at your contact, he lets you know you've suddenly become unpopular with the police for associating with a (suspected) identity forger. Because, you know, a guy in spandex and a cape in a villain's hideout is obviously the villain's associate. Because no morally solid hero would even start this arc to begin with, coming clean and admitting your intentions, or otherwise trying to talk you way out of it, is out of the question.
Instead, he sends you on what at first seems like a completely irrelevant Fetch Quest, and says he'll look into the names Shaw and Lawless. Who the heck this 'Lawless' is is left unclear, as the name is never mentioned before this, or in the rest of the arc ever again.
Mission three is on a larger map for a change, which is unfortunately a bad thing in this case - one, it's still a warehouse, so there's still not much variety in this arc in terms of atmosphere. Two, it's full of Clockwork. Not only does this mean you're exemped to 20, but Clocks are just annoying.
The excuse is that the scientist running the place keeps stuff around that the Clockwork just love stealing, and is too dumb to invent any sort of security system to keep them out (Clockwork invasions are implied to be frequent). You rescue the scientist and take the hologram projector.
Your contact tells you he's going to use the projector to disguise as you and enter a costume contest in Atlas Park. Ignoring the fact that the police would be on him before he could say "This contest is rigged!", you agree to his zany plan, the other half of which involves you robbing a bank.
I don't know how to feel about this.
The bank mission is pretty much a carbon copy of the various LSSL missions Redside, involving you beating up lots of innocent security guards just to prove to Paragon that you have an evil twin - because your contact is disguised at you at the costume contest at the same time.
Of course, this plan works, and because we live in a comic book world, everyone comes to the logical conclusion that if one double is bad and robs banks, the other must be good, and the police immediately drop the investigation.
The marked bills you stole are used to implicate Officer Shaw as an accomplice to the theft, by your contact. He also seems to have won second place in the costume contest with your costume, and received enough money (Influence is money now?) to pay your forgery fee.
Finally, you get your Hero License. It's not explained where the forger got your picture or personal details from, but I suppose we can assume this was handled by your contact before the arc started.
Overall, the arc is decidedly average. The constant choice of warehouse maps, while an accurate depiction of low-level hero arcs, is a little tedious, and the wildly inconsistent level cap can be a pain to higher level toons who wish to experience this arc. Even the lowbies have to put up with a cap that swings from 20 to 9 - to make it even sillier, the final mission is the lowest-level one. Some of the plot elements are not explained or explained poorly, and the name 'Lawless' is brought up once completely randomly out of the blue, never to be heard again.
It's not a bad arc though, it just needs polish. The bank robbery evil twin idea was somewhat farfetched, stepping dangerously close to Idiot Plot territory, but changing that would require more alterations than a simple briefing tweak.
[ QUOTE ]
If anyone truly objects to it (it was 'Hey nice costume $name, your boyfriend made that for ya?' for those curious) then I'll happily take it out.
[/ QUOTE ]It didn't bother me very much personally, but keep in mind you're writing for a huge audience - not only Union and Defiant, but also the American community. Some people are more easily offended than others. Whether you change it or not is up to your own judgement, of course.
[ QUOTE ]
If anyone truly objects to it (it was 'Hey nice costume $name, your boyfriend made that for ya?' for those curious) then I'll happily take it out.
[/ QUOTE ]
It didn't bother me very much personally, but keep in mind you're writing for a huge audience - not only Union and Defiant, but also the American community. Some people are more easily offended than others. Whether you change it or not is up to your own judgement, of course.
[/ QUOTE ]
A fair point Colonel, thinks it's time to give Ironbug some new material.
A Penny For Your Thoughts #348691 <- Dev's Choice'd by Dr. Aeon!
Submit your MA arc for review & my arcs thread
Out of interest Col, are you rating on the MA stars theory?
Just that you say "Overall, the arc is decidedly average." yet give it 5 stars.
Certainly not having a go at you, just trying to judge where your ratings are falling.
Or are you simply stating what you rated it in game ?
Perhaps adding your own "X out of 10" gut feeling in a review?
I do feel an external review site in the making here, or is there already one ?
Fahie
Submitted for review;
"Apocalypse Cow" by @Bovine-Avenger
Arc ID: 27552
Length: Very Long
Morality: Neutral
Missions: 5
Enemy Group: Devouring Earth, Custom
" An udder arc of madness and moohem, a truly rustic ruminant revelation over 5 missions, cowntaining every possible cowbination of events; an abondance of unnecessary alliteration and more milking of puns than you have ever herd before! Straight up, no bull, you'll find yourself shaking by the end!"
Level Range: 20-54
[ QUOTE ]
I can understand if you think it may be potentially offensive. If anyone truly objects to it (it was 'Hey nice costume $name, your boyfriend made that for ya?' for those curious) then I'll happily take it out.
[/ QUOTE ]
How about making it a gender neutral "your momma made it for ya?". Just as insulting to a super powered villian or hero without giving anyone out in the real world an excuse to feel insulted...
[ QUOTE ]
Out of interest Col, are you rating on the MA stars theory?
Just that you say "Overall, the arc is decidedly average." yet give it 5 stars.
Certainly not having a go at you, just trying to judge where your ratings are falling.
Or are you simply stating what you rated it in game ?
Perhaps adding your own "X out of 10" gut feeling in a review?
I do feel an external review site in the making here, or is there already one ?
Fahie
[/ QUOTE ]Unless my eyesight is declining, the one you're referring to got 3 stars from me , which is what I consider "decidedly average". Old hero arcs and radio missions.
4 is good, worth playing, but has a few noticeable flaws that could use tweaking to make it even better.
5 is great, awesome, something I'd actively recommend, any flaws are unimportant.
On the low side, 2 is below average, needs heavy work to become good, but is salvageable.
1 is "I want the time I just wasted back", needs extreme reworking or a complete rewrite from the original concept.
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Out of interest Col, are you rating on the MA stars theory?
Just that you say "Overall, the arc is decidedly average." yet give it 5 stars.
Certainly not having a go at you, just trying to judge where your ratings are falling.
Or are you simply stating what you rated it in game ?
Perhaps adding your own "X out of 10" gut feeling in a review?
I do feel an external review site in the making here, or is there already one ?
Fahie
[/ QUOTE ]Unless my eyesight is declining, the one you're referring to got 3 stars from me , which is what I consider "decidedly average". Old hero arcs and radio missions.
4 is good, worth playing, but has a few noticeable flaws that could use tweaking to make it even better.
5 is great, awesome, something I'd actively recommend, any flaws are unimportant.
On the low side, 2 is below average, needs heavy work to become good, but is salvageable.
1 is "I want the time I just wasted back", needs extreme reworking or a complete rewrite from the original concept.
[/ QUOTE ]
You are completely right ... serves me right for drinking vodka and scrolling back in a thread to see what rating you gave an arc
My apologies :S
Fahie
[ QUOTE ]
How about making it a gender neutral "your momma made it for ya?". Just as insulting to a super powered villian or hero without giving anyone out in the real world an excuse to feel insulted...
[/ QUOTE ]
Already changed it actually but thanks, it now reads " Woah! hey $name nice costume, so how many clowns did you have to steal from for that?" You can try the arc and have a look yourself. 
A Penny For Your Thoughts #348691 <- Dev's Choice'd by Dr. Aeon!
Submit your MA arc for review & my arcs thread
Ate my post AGAIN... When are we getting that new forum software anyway?
Arc #80349, "The Steel and Gold Affair"
tl;dr: 3 stars. Offenses: Typos, loose plot, frustrating missions, lack of Mission Failure outro text for final mission and resulting anticlimax ending.
Using the Warshade again. For some obscure unforgivable reason, I don't have Dwarf Form at level 20, so this counts as a Squishy Run.
Your contact is Detective Rogers of Steel Canyon, who asks you to stop vandals from blowing up cars. Pretty normal, considering the guy asks you to do the same in Safeguard missions.
The normality stops there, as the vandals in question are Luddites. After stopping a group of them from beating on a car, it's time to hunt for clues and rescue policemen.
The policemen are rather... unconvincing, telling the Luddites to put down their weapons and come quietly, while kneeling on the ground with hands behind their heads. An animation change would be appropriate, possibly giving the cops one of the Shotgun emotes, and the Luddites the Menace Crossbow emote, for a proper confrontation feel. The cops are largely useless against the high-damage Fortitude-spamming Luddites who can heal each other.
Speaking of high damage, Luddites are more painful than I imagined. Since they're used in a grand total of one or two missions in the game normally, I don't have much combat experience against them. Not a fun faction to fight, I assure you.
On with the clues. Clue 1 is a custom Luddite boss, whose powersets remained a mystery as it died before reaching me. The Clue it drops is an advertisement about Dr. Aeon's new electric cars based on PTS technology.
Uh-oh.
Clue 2 spawns after the Luddite boss dies. It's a spawn of Bat'Zul demons, the Boss promptly Holding me upon agro and killing me before it wore off. I brought breakfrees and got revenge. Strangely enough they count as a clue for the mission objectives, but don't drop an actual Clue.
Clue 3 spawns after the demons die, and is a spawn of Gold Brickers, who go down with the usual effort, mentioning that the Luddites are a diversion for Gold Bricker robberies.
The fact that these three Boss fights spawn one after another on an outdoor map isn't really a good thing, as the player has to scout the entire area after each boss defeat. The demon fight could easily be changed to an ambush, for example.
An optional encounter on the map was a Possessed Car being beaten by Luddites. The car screams a few lines about freedom and living, until you destroy it.
The detective next sends you to stop a Gold Bricker robbery on a 15 minute time limit (you're warned before accepting) and tells you not to let any robbers escape. The Boss in the mission flees immediately upon seeing me, and I can't stop it.
The ambush that you spawn by using the Phone in the middle of the map (clever) doesn't help - a few of the PPD that spawn bash the boss in the head with rifle butts, but most of them just stare at it run past them blankly. In hindsight I should've gone Human Form and stacked immobilizes on the guy.
Doesn't matter anyway, the detective gives one line of disappointment and moves on to the next mission, stopping another robbery and arresting Gold Galore, on a 10 minute timer (again, you're warned in advance). Gold Galore is a custom Gold Bricker boss, Energy Assault/Sonic Resonance.
With that power combo it's of course no wonder that she rendered me into a fine paste before I could fight back much. Coming back with a trayful of inspirations I managed to defeat her in the nick of time - just barely. The boss is set to Entire Encounter Needed, which really ought to be changed to Only Boss Needed.
And that's the Gold Brickers stopped for good in this arc, just like that.
The arc continues with the demon cars plot, and the Luddite leader you beat up in the first mission wants to meet you in an abandoned factory (appropriate or inappropriate for a Luddite?) on Mercy Island. Naturally, when the mission objective is just to 'meet' someone, it means trouble.
Basically, you save the guy from Arachnos captives and escort him out, upon which he mentions that the next shipment of demon cars is due to leave soon.
The detective defines "soon" as 30 minutes, which means the final mission is a timed one again. He mentions off-hand that he'd arrest you if you tried anything like destroying the shipment, but the Isles are conveniently out of his jurisdiction, and offers an off-the-record "good luck". I'm no law expert, but I'm not entirely sure how well a police officer encouraging that sort of thing works, off the record or not. But I wouldn't know.
Anyway, you've got 12 cars to destroy in a cargo ship, guarded by Security Guards. I admit I was distracted, and some of the cars bugged, so I ended up dying a few times; some of the cars were difficult to find, too. After destroying the last one in the nick of time, a Defeat Demons objective appeared, which I couldn't find in time, so the mission failed.
The detective asked me "So how were the Isles, did you see anything interesting?" and that was the end of the arc.
The story needs work. The Gold Brickers hog the spotlight for two whole missions and one boss battle in the first mission, despite plotwise only being transportation for the Luddites, and otherwise just robbing mostly unimportant places. The custom boss felt somewhat unnecessary, and rather powerful for a level 20 character to take on - NPC damage mods turn Energy Assault into something brutal.
The demon car plot isn't explained very well. How were these cars made, why, and what would the implied negative consequences be if a person drove a demon-fueled sedan? Would it spawn Gremlins in the back seat?
The detective's dialogue becomes more distant and uninvolved as the arc goes on, becoming downright jarringly apathetic if you fail the final mission. I wonder if this was just a spot the author accidentally missed during final tweaking, though - people tend to focus on success messages, but you have to take into account that people -will- fail a failable mission, sometimes.
The arc is definitely playable, but the story needs polish, the text needs a good going-over with a spellchecker, and the mobs are tough. The Luddites in the first mission took me totally off guard, and the custom boss hit like a truck. I'd recommend small groups for this, considering the overall mob difficulty, and time limits.
Ctrl+C the text into a WordPad before you hit reply bud! Also, this is really, really good reading.
@MidnightGuard - on Union you may know me as:
Mr. Vile - Electroman X - Zenodorus - Battler
Naga Knight - Stinkspitter
Well I know how much you dislike lowbie status Col. but I'm asking for you to run my arc.
A proper Heist
Arc ID: 82059.
Designed with low level villains in mind.
Badge Earned: Wing Clipper
A real showstopper!
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The policemen are rather... unconvincing, telling the Luddites to put down their weapons and come quietly, while kneeling on the ground with hands behind their heads. An animation change would be appropriate, possibly giving the cops one of the Shotgun emotes, and the Luddites the Menace Crossbow emote, for a proper confrontation feel.
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Good idea, I'll do that.
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The cops are largely useless against the high-damage Fortitude-spamming Luddites who can heal each other.
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I did have some custom cops, but they didn't WAI. I idn't want to make them bosses, as that would detract from the hero.
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Clue 1 is a custom Luddite boss, whose powersets remained a mystery as it died before reaching me.
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War Mace/Empathy. Where you playing this with a high level character? I didn't find this guy so easy.
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Clue 2 spawns after the Luddite boss dies. It's a spawn of Bat'Zul demons.
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Nope, that is not the trigger for this spawn.
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Clue 3 spawns after the demons die, and is a spawn of Gold Brickers
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Again, not the trigger for this spawn. The Gold Brickers are there from the start.
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The fact that these three Boss fights spawn one after another on an outdoor map isn't really a good thing,
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They don't spawn one another. 2 are in at the start, and as the other, you remember the "optional" possessed car?.
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but I'm not entirely sure how well a police officer encouraging that sort of thing works, off the record or not.
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I was going by TV/movies, not RL
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and some of the cars bugged
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In what way?
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Would it spawn Gremlins in the back seat?
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I wish! Would have much rather had Gremlins instead of Bat'Zul, but they aint in. I did have some custom mobs, but they where really brutal. Thats the trouble with custom mobs, they do tend to be to tough for low levels. I didn't want to spell out the whys and wherefores of the cars in to much detail. Players familiar with the Cap story should be able to piece it together.
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The detective asked me "So how were the Isles, did you see anything interesting?" and that was the end of the arc.
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Yeah, creativity failure there on my part, I'm open to suggestions. And do you think 30 minutes is too short, or are there too many cars to smash?
Thanks for the review. I will go have a tinker.
I really should do something about this signature.
Wouldn't mind my arc getting reviewed by the general populus.
Tower Demoliton
ID: 48617
Morality: Heroic
Soloable: Up until the 3rd mission. Then you might want to consider getting some backup
Mob Level Range: 30-54
Elite Bosses/Arch-villains: Three. Will be EB or AV depending on your difficulty level and size of your team.
Missions: 5
Not been online to the game last few nights so it might have had more plays since but I am wondering if the lack of play and ratings is because it has been lost in the shuffle or do I in fact suck at writing.
Credit goes to FrankyT49 for animated avatar
List of toons on Union Handbook
Leon Tasker: "Dunelm Group! What is your profession?"
Dunelm Group: "OOOOORRRAAAAH!"