But imho thats the risk you take in inserting pop-culture into your arc. It's great for those who get it, but you need to be sure it won't confuse of misdirect those who don't.
True, but that would also apply to references to mythology and history (which this reviewer is much sharper on).
I really should do something about this signature.
had to republish my arc so its new ID is 101282 (see sig).
reason for re-publish: blowies on final map were too hard to see so I went for one with a flashing red light to make it easier 
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True, but that would also apply to references to mythology and history (which this reviewer is much sharper on).
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Sure, but then any reviewer has their blind spots, just as any story has a target audience.
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And you seem to have completly missed any connection between "Fairyland Bites" and Terry Pratchett
[/ QUOTE ]I'll be honest, I haven't actually read any of Terry Pratchett's books (yet, call off the lynch mobs). I've been meaning to, honest. 
Goldfinger reference? [censored] Galore? I got that one, it seemed pretty obvious at the time so I didn't call attention to it.
Call me thick, but I still don't get the whole car-destroying thing. This game? If it's a reference to a hero arc, I'm not likely to get it, I'm a villain player.
It's a Mayhem mission for heroes!
The Goldfinger reference isn't important, but I was disapointed you didn't say how good a likeness to Honour Blackman I achived. 
I'm a bit concerened if you review Captain Jefferies' though, as it is loaded with pop culture references (there are three in the title alone).
I really should do something about this signature.
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Arc #74519, "Valley of the Harpies"
tl;dr: 3 stars. Offenses: Short, "Just a bunch of stuff that happens", nasty mobs, no EB warning, glowie hunt on huge outdoor map, no custom mob descriptions, typos.
Used the Brute as the default one again.
Your contact is Julia Pria from Cimerora, who somehow seems to know that far in the future (your present), Harpies will invade Paragon City out of lack of food. Only, the way she's speaking makes it seem like she lives in Paragon, in our present. Very odd. Anyway, they're lead by the three sisters of myth, Aello ("storm swift"), Celaeno ("the dark") and Ocypete ("the swift wing"), and you've got to stop them.
Sure enough, Kings Row is under attack by harpies. They've scattered the remains of their victims around, so you're going to have to clean those up in addition to killing Aello (harpies are apparently acceptable targets for heroes to kill). Unfortunate choice of map, as it's a bit huge to look for five tiny piles of bones.
The Harpies look somewhat inaccurate, considering the original myths described Harpies as simply winged women - these mobs look like monstrous lizard-women with wings and claws. If anything, they look closer to Sirens (ugly bird-woman-monsters with seductive voices). They also don't have descriptions. Powersets vary - minions are either Claws/Sonic Attack, or Claws/Sonic Resonance, which means resistance-based (or squishy) toons can quickly be overwhelmed by incoming damage. The Lieuts are Claws/Pain Domination.
Aello is a Dual Blades/Storm Summoning Elite Boss, which is appropriate for her name and will make her incredibly annoying to fight for melee ATs or Masterminds. Both powersets turned up to max, so expect no mercy. I had some insights on hand so I beat her the first time. Took me a while to find all the glowies on the huge map, but I got the Assassin badge in the process.
Next up we have Celaeno, who's been tracked down to a cave under a shop. The map is one of the office-to-caves maps, full of harpies. Pretty straightforward defeat-boss mission. Celaeno, sadly, isn't exactly "straightforward" - Dark Melee/Sonic Resonance. She debuffed me a bit, hit Soul Drain, and before I could expect anything she killed me with Shadow Maul. I popped my godmode the second time and managed to take her down. You receive an irrelevant clue which uses a wrong name for her, strangely.
Finally, Ocypete needs to die. You're warned that she's the most brutal Harpy known to man. The map is a rather well-chosen Snake Hatchery map, a cave full of eggshells. In the final room we have Ocypete, who indeed turns out to be brutal, but not in the sense you'd expect.
Illusion/Kinetics. First three fights I just died horribly. Illusion is just -mean-. She could stack enough Terrorize through 2 breakfrees and 4 lucks to make me shiver. The Confusion was nasty the first few times, too. After messing about a lot and an insp restock run, I took her down, and got another flavor clue with a wrong name attributed to the Harpy. You get a rather boring one-sentence congrats from your contact and the arc's finished.
Bland. Bland bland bland. The idea is fine, I can appreciate a good play off mythology. After all, mythology plays an important role in the CoX storyline. However, it basically amounts to "bad guys are doing bad things, go beat them up", nothing better than a radio mission. It lacks a moral or strong theme. It's also short, and thus provides no background on the Harpies.
The mobs, in addition to lacking any description, are problematic. The minions stack a LOT of -resistance, and also have some -defense in Claws - more casual players might get shredded a lot in this arc. The healer Lieuts seem an unnecessary extra annoyance. I'd keep the Sonic Resonance to the Lieuts and give the Minions something easier. Also, the name of the Lieut mobs is in plural.
In its current state it's mostly just a "Go, hunt, kill" series of missions, with a glowie hunt thrown into the first mission just to be annoying. It's perfectly salvageable though, and if the story were (somewhat heavily) expanded upon, it could become something defnitely worth recommending to others. It's anything but easy, though.
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Thanks Col, will take various bits under advisement. I think the incorrect name bits are where I added and altered the arc but obviously must have missed some bits.
With regard to the Harpies, I do disagree. They were were "women with wings" but not in the way you think, They had claws, beaks and were indeed monstrous. You say they were more like sirens, but actually Sirens and Harpies are technically the same thing.
Anyway, will look at the arc, thanks again for your review.
Zhaan, Chakyra, Fiorina 161, Aeryn, Polly Nation, Dee Pression, Shazanne, Night Jester and too many more to mention.
Network Hell 47640
Valley of the Harpies 74519
Green and Pleasant Land 75966
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Sirens and Harpies are technically the same thing.
[/ QUOTE ]This is a recent confusion not faithful to the original myths, akin to Valkyries riding winged horses and similar myth decay. Granted, common fiction and video games seem to have interchanged their appearances, turning Harpies into monsters and Sirens into beautiful women in many cases... I didn't downrank you based on this, though, since it's extremely common nowadays to the point it's become what people -expect- to see.
See, he spends to much time reading erudite tomes and not enough on pulp novel and movies.
I really should do something about this signature.
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Arc #23256, "The Viral Army"
tl;dr: 4 stars. Offenses: Typos, luck based timed mission, really nasty AV.
The story ends somewhat awkwardly in terms of closure. Thought Block is locked up, presumable somewhere where his powers are suppressed. And the clones? Apparently they just have to live on as normal people. Well, normal aside from having a hundred or so others just like them. And our dear little Earth was already overpopulated...
The arc's not bad, really. Some of the plot elements were questionable, such as the mercenaries' total disregard for their own well-being (exposing themselves to the virus), and Dr. Logan not realizing that being exposed to the virus would be a bad thing, despite being the scientist researching said virus. Needs some creative tweaking, there. The car-destroying objectives in mission 2 were somewhat random, could probably be replaced with a glowie hunt where you get rid of leaky canisters of the virus. And increase the time limit! It's an outdoor map full of custom mobs!
I liked the boss design, his costume was like something out of old comic books, exposed brain and Fu Manchu beard going together well. Though Mind/Illusion is always an insane pain to fight, at least it matched his appearance and powers pretty well. In fact, most of the custom mobs were done well, and the author even makes fun of his own silly costume designs for Gundown's soldiers. Aside from the high-WP mobs in mission 2, and the final AV, nothing in this arc should be overly tough.
Worth playing, definitely, though bring a lot of insps or some friends for the final fight, you'll need them.
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THanks for reviewing Col;
A couple of questions and comments...
1. Awkard ending? Good akward or bad akward. I wrote it to specifically be awkard.
2. I have been pondering loosing smoke grenade for some time now. In fact, I *nearly* altered it before your review. Consider the decision now made!
3. It seems you missed some exposition that ties up most (not all)of your plot queries. I will try to sort that out, but by golly it feels like ramming it down peoples throats sometimes
4. It seems your main bone of contention is mission 2 - possibly what lead you to drop a star. I cant say I blame you. (Un)fortunately some specific feedback has been that this is a great mission (e.g. "everything about mission 2 is awesome"). It is, unfortunately, a marmite mission, and one am I most reluctant to tweak further. For instance, the very fact that the cars blend in with the "Natural" scenery" was applauded in some feedback. In addition, the time limit has been fairly extensively playtested: on average its about 70% people do it in time, 30% fail. About the right proportions IMO.
Nevertheless, consider your opinions filed for future reference; one needs to consider emerging themes in feedback that react instinctively to just one (I have found).
Its interesting you comment "worth playing"; I sacrificed the story component on the altar of memory limitations in order to try and bolster the "gaming" aspect. However, individuals will have different priorities as to rating.
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Sirens and Harpies are technically the same thing.
[/ QUOTE ]This is a recent confusion not faithful to the original myths, akin to Valkyries riding winged horses and similar myth decay. Granted, common fiction and video games seem to have interchanged their appearances, turning Harpies into monsters and Sirens into beautiful women in many cases... I didn't downrank you based on this, though, since it's extremely common nowadays to the point it's become what people -expect- to see.
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Not modern, older drawings, Rupert Graves and even Homer, none of them depict Harpies as just women with wings
Zhaan, Chakyra, Fiorina 161, Aeryn, Polly Nation, Dee Pression, Shazanne, Night Jester and too many more to mention.
Network Hell 47640
Valley of the Harpies 74519
Green and Pleasant Land 75966
(I've been accused of rating too generously... But most of the arcs I get my hands on really aren't -bad-, per se. )
Arc #2505, "Rise of the Nile"
tl;dr: 4 stars. Offenses: Typos, grammar, lack of character development, waaaaaay too many glowies, surprise timed/failable mission.
The arc recommends a team, so I used my MM at first... except this turned out to be a bad idea after coming against the custom faction in mission one, so I switched to my Brute.
The story appears to be set in the 1920s, London (at least at first). Your contact is Sir James Barringer, a member of the Royal Society. Turns out the Society has poor security, and is presently being robbed by "a group of individuals with a most foul reputation", who seek an ancient stone tablet dating back to ancient Egypt, that could reveal the location of a lost tomb yet unknown to science. As the artifacts would be lost forever if they should succeed, you're tasked with stopping them.
The map used for mission one is an abandoned warehouse. It's full of a custom faction of Beduin Warriors (their description labels them as villains bringing shame to their people), the minions use the Broadsword powerset (Arabian Scimitar), and the lieuts use Archery, high enough to have Explosive Arrow - that particular attack feels a little bit out of place. Your goal is to recover the tablet, but there's two other optional goals - a CoT Ruin Mage named Archmage Trasis (spawns frontloaded and escaped after I attacked him), and a MA/WP ally named Sir Lionel Trevellia, who spawns without any guards and says "Nicely done"(?) when you meet him.
Turns out Tarsis tampered with the tablet and copied it, escaping to Cairo, Egypt with the copy. You take the Oriental Express and a ship to catch up to him, and agree to meet up in an office - which turns out to be taken over by Beduin Warriors. The mission has a 30 minute timer, which you're not warned about, and Tarsis tries to flee at low HP (I got him this time though). Sir Lionel Trevellia makes another appearance, again with possibly messed up text lines.
You finally make it to the tomb, only to find it's already being looted by villains - your goal is to recover the artifacts and subdue the leader of the tomb raiders. The raiders are from a faction humorously named the League of Scoundrels, and look rather appropriate for soldiers on a desert operation. They have typical soldier powersets, AR, Martial Arts, etc. There's some Bedouin around, too.
Your goal is to collect... 21 glowies, on a large Orangebagel map. I didn't believe my eyes at first. This is a long mission. Luckily enough, none of the glowies turned out to be particularly tricky to find, but I suspect luck to have played a role in that. You also meet Tarsis' (rebellious) apprentice as an optional boss, and your mysterious friend Sir Lionel Trevellia, held hostage this time.
The (Elite) boss is just called 'Commander', and wears a black outfit with a cape and military hat, in contrast to the light beige outfits and barrets the normal soldiers wear. He's Broadsword/Invulnerability, and killed me pretty good the first time due to being exemped below my godmode. The second time I had Lionel with me, and it went better. No Unstoppable, thank you to the author.
Unfortunately, it isn't over. Deeper in the tombs, the League and its enigmatic leader (whose name I sadly forgot... not in the souvenir either) are working on a necromantic ritual to bring to life some sort of creature trapped in the tomb. You're sent to stop them. Your contact tells you that to do this, you need to take out the two Necromancers, and keep four pillars from being destroyed.
...strangely enough, once you're actually -in- the mission, one of your objectives is to destroy the pillars. I suspect the author picked the wrong objective type by accident. The two Necromancers are Necromancy/Dark Miasma EBs - could be tough for some, but the arc did warn you to bring a team. I think Tarsis was in this mission too.
The leader of the League is also present, though his name eludes me at the moment. I'm terrible with names, sorry. He fills the role of a third Necromancer, and throws undead minions at you. He conned as an EB, and wasn't much tougher than the other two in the mission.
Destroying the pillars spawned a new objective - what looked like a young girl dressed in faux Egyptian garb named Nile. She mutters something in what I suspect is meant to be Egyptian, but I was unsuccessful in translating it. Granted, the first word she uttered resembled gibberish more than anything like a word... Escorting her out of the tomb ended the mission, and the arc.
This was pretty fun to play, hardly anything to snark about. The custom mob designs were well done, and conveyed the concept of travelling to Egypt rather well, despite the arc taking place entirely indoors due to lack of desert maps. I definitely got some Indiana Jones vibes from the whole thing. The presence of the CoT was not strange either, because the 1920s were a golden age for the group - naturally, they'd be active, though I'm unsure if they still had a strong presence in Europe by then.
The arc is set in the past, though not in the form of an Ouroboros flashback, so it might be difficult to do in-character for those who enjoy that sort of thing. Unless you pretend it's a flashback.
The second mission has a surprise time limit and the boss objective tries to flee, neither of which you're warned about. The third mission is a huge Oranbega map, which is bad enough already - the 21 glowies is pushing the limit just a bit. I did like it how the (non-named)* EB didn't make it more annoying by having Unstoppable, though.
Sadly, the biggest flaw in this arc is the lack of backstory. Your contact, the random guy who helps you in the missions, and the League are not introduced properly to the player. Nile's nature or fate are barely alluded to at all, and even then far too vaguely. I was hoping for an explanation in the Souvenir, but it turned out to simply be a semi-cryptic poem...
I do recommend this one to play, though. It just needs some work to make it more presentable. Also, the EBs are tough, the description wasn't kidding when it said to bring a team, especially due to the level cap (24).
I dont know if I dare do it but Col would you mind reviewing my arc - its story number 97374 "The Fall of Arachnos Part 1 - Et Tu Sands".
Its the first of a three part story - feedback most welcome
Life is one big practical joke that we as the human race have yet to see the punchline to. Once you work that out the rest is easy.
Arc #79763, "The Wizard of O.S."
tl;dr: 5 stars. Offenses: Needs more commas.
Freaks = Brute for capped Energy resistance.
Your contact is Samuel L. Jackson in a pimp suit... Well, not really, but that's what The Word On The Street made me think of when I first laid eyes on him. Anyway, he lets you know the Freakshow have access to some fancy new virus that lets them eat through any security system, and encourages you to steal it (probably for a cut of whatever profits you make from it after this).
The first mission takes place on the Mother Mayhem hospital map, which somehow manages to add a creepy vibe even to the normally amusing Freakshow. Your task is to defeat Scarecrow (spelled in l33t I'm not about to copy here), the first of many obvious references to That Movie.
Pretty straightforward, though there's a handful of Dark Melee/Katana custom Fear Freaks about. They look more like the default Sinister costume set with Wild hair though, rather than actual Freaks, but their description kinda-sorta justifies this. Powersets are a little odd though. The EB, Scarecrow, is Dark Melee/Dark Miasma - not the easiest thing in the world to solo, I'll tell you. He ponders replacing his brain with a "scarier brain" before agro, and keeps asking you if you're scared during the fight, but ends up disappointed. You loot a damaged CD off him, with YBR.exe written on it. Guess what it stands for.
Well, okay, you're not meant to know yet, so your contact sends you after another Freak boss, The Tinman (in l33t again). Another straightforward boss fight map - all but the fourth and final mission are, actually - this time with no custom mobs that I could see. Tinman is Battleaxe/Willpower; I was expecting Invulnerability, myself. The "heartless killer" ends the fight by claiming his heart wasn't really in it. Yep, the arc's full of these gags.
Sadly he's not too informative, so you check out a Freakshow raid on a Crey genetic engineering lab... to find furry Freaks. That's right, FurFreaks. I kinda stared at them for a while. Freakshow with bunny ears and claws. G'damn.
Well, their descriptions at least referenced the fact that Freaks will do -anything- to enhance themselves, though I felt the bunny ears were a bit much. Their leader, The Lion (again in l33t) turned out to be dangerously furry, the only hint at his former self being the fact that he stood upright and his forearms were still robotic, with metal Claws (and Super Reflexes). He was anything but Cowardly, though, his dialogue more resembling Scrappy Doo.
However, his cowardice shows after you beat him into submission, as he tells you where their leader, D0r07-... Dorothy is hiding. Dorothy is implied to be a child prodigy computer genius grown up to be a 20-something insane hacker genius gang leader, which sounds just like every Robotics Mastermind EVER.
The final mission, set in an abandoned lab map, has a few more objectives. One, you're going to have to destroy her computer, so she can't invalidate the virus the moment you try to use it (this is why you keep backups of your failsafes). The Freaks guarding the computer provide a witty reference to the Iron Man movie in their banter. Two, you grab a copy of the virus - remember, the CD from mission 1 was busted.
Three, defeat Dorothy, who looks like a schoolgirl with Vanguard gloves and a big gun. Dorothy's powersets are Assault Rifle/Energy Aura. The autohit AoE endurance drain might be nasty against some players - good thing I'm Elec Armor! At half health, she calls for Toto, and you can hear an ambush named 7070 (witty) barking something from behind. Dorothy dropped dead before Toto got there, but I stuck around out of curiosity - it was an ambush of four little black werewolf-midget things with Sonic attacks. You don't need to fight them, obviously.
In the epilogue, The Word On The Street (is that name available to players?) congratulates you on recovering the Yellow Brick Road virus (just upload it into the system and follow the yellow brick road), and enthusiastically asks you what your first target will be. Fade to black, story over.
Freakshow are always fun, particularly custom Freaks. The arc was evenly paced (though could possibly use more objectives in the first 3 missions), the dialogue was well-written (if a little grammar/punctuation-challenged in some places), and the bosses were challenging yet beatable - though in my opinion, their strength decreased as the arc went on, the Dark/Dark boss in mission 1 being the hardest. YMMV.
I swear "Steal the Virus from the Freakshow" is a generic newspaper mission you see at some point, but this takes that plot, and uses a witty, funny theme to draw it out into a not-too-long-not-too-short humor arc (let's face it, even if it was meant to be serious... Freaks with bunny ears?). The FurFreaks made me raise an eyebrow or two, but they weren't overly imposing, and outnumbered by the normal Freaks in the mission.
An enjoyable way to spend a half-hour in the evening (well, night) before going to sleep, for me. I hope everyone else enjoys it as much as I did.
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I've been accused of rating too generously
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Personally, I think you are bit of a tight burger (in a nice way).
I really should do something about this signature.
May or may not do any reviewing today because I feel so sick I'm about to barf my guts out...
Don't barf on you keyboard...
I really should do something about this signature.
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May or may not do any reviewing today because I feel so sick I'm about to barf my guts out...
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Hope you feel better soon.
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May or may not do any reviewing today because I feel so sick I'm about to barf my guts out...
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Hmm, has he reviewed my arc yet?
...no...
I hope you get better soon! 
Hope you'll get well soon, Col.
Barfing because of the review is an occupational hazard. But barfing before you do a review means that it is time to get a rest.
Be well soon.
Hope you get better, Col!
Get well soon mate.
I mean who else will listen to my endless jibbering on the MA channel?
Come on Col, beat that bug.
Please fight My Brute: http://2hero.mybrute.com
Mission Architect 54161 - Michael Mundano, Megan Malloney and the Secret Senate.
Mission Architect 91838 - Constantinople Jones' Family Secret. A One Mission Story arc.
This game, for one thing...
And you seem to have completly missed any connection between "Fairyland Bites" and Terry Pratchett, a reference to Goldfinger in my arc, and quite a few other in jokes and popular culture references in reviewed arcs that I have played...
I really should do something about this signature.