Dont know the arc ID off the top of my head but search for damz and its the only one of two 
Noob VR training course is its title. Designed for a low level player (and i mean VERY low) for one of their first missions.
Have planned higher level versions of it so please be as critical as you want
@Damz Find me on the global channel Union Chat. One of the best "chat channels" ingame!
Would be nice if you could review my arc 'It's a Knife-Eat-Fork World', ID 1090.
Some basic info: No EBs/AVs, pretty easy-going arc. It's more a story-bent arc.
Feedback be it good or bad is always great. You're welcome to try mine Colonel, though I'm not sure if I already coerced you in-game into trying them already. 
Might Makes Right: The One With Tin Hats Arc ID: 5213
Mercytown: The One With All The Fish Arc ID: 6017
A Penny For Your Thoughts #348691 <- Dev's Choice'd by Dr. Aeon!
Submit your MA arc for review & my arcs thread
Go on, I'm game: A Darker Dawn ID:2502. Had been thinking of writing some myself...
Feel free to review mine, they are in my sig.
I really should do something about this signature.
Could you review my arc? ID: 47625
As are mine, feel free to review them.
Blitz, do you know what you have gotten yourself into?
I'd appreciate a review too
'A Light Within The Darkness'
Arc ID 5760 - 5 Missions/Heroic
'An Exchange Of Words'
Arc ID 5591 - 5 Missions/Villainous
Defiant 50: Blonde Justice inv/ss; Lady Aminta emp/elec; Sierra Colt merc/traps; Tess LaCoyle elec/elec (blaster); Powerstorm elec/elec (brute);
Union 50: @Steel Dancer WP/DB; Blast Pulse Fire/Rad (corr); Bitter Twilight Earth/Psi (dom); Compassionate Emp/Psi;
Freedom 50: Incandescent Blaze ElecAm/Fire;
This is the part where I jump at the chance.
"The Sleeping Star"
ID - 53951
"The Hamidon is a what what of what?" - Brian the mission guy.
You've started an avalanche, Col. Good luck and see ya in 2011 ^^
Col. First off, awesome idea, albeit a US one, but seriously, if there ever was an opportunity for a bollble head version of Col. Blitzkrieker to be drawn and pictured next to said harsh but fair reviews of well, anything, this is most definately it!
My arc 75875, submitted for your reviewing (dis)pleassure.
In-game and now on Twitter @Tsumiju Zero "The Nightmare of Dra'Gon"
"The flow of battle can only be influenced, not by realtime tactics, but by strategy."
Proud resident of the Union EU Server.
B.A.F. Trial Guide
Arc #53041, "Noob VR Training Course"
tl;dr: 3 stars. Offenses: Frustrating outdoor map, common typos/misspellings.
Okay, not as story-focused as what I had in mind, but I let that pass this time.
This single-mission arc starts with a VR Instructor contact calling you a noob and asking if you've got what it takes to complete his training course, in a rather condescending manner. While I'd normally frown on such a direct taunt towards the player, the arc (and the author's forum name) does have the word "noob" in it so I ignored it.
The setting is one of the Perez Park maps (the one not on fire) full of Hellions. So far so good, except the map appears to have a bunch of safes lying around. What safes are doing randomly scattered about Perez would normally be a puzzling question, but "VR" most likely stands for "Virtual Reality", so maybe it doesn't have to make total sense.
The first objective I completed, however, was a crate that you're supposed to destroy (objective up on the NavBar) and the contact does not tell you about. Right. After destroying the crate I was attacked by an alarmingly large Skulls ambush yelling something along the lines of "Noob detected!". Well, alarmingly large for Heroic low level solo, at least - 4 minions and a Lieutenant. I didn't have much trouble on my Brute though.
Moving right along, there's about 5 or so safes scattered about, as previously mentioned. Some of them are fakes, but you have to collect them anyway (objectives on NavBar) for some bizarre reason, which promptly triggers more ambushes. One of the safes was magically levitating several feet high in the air, which was a little strange but not the author's fault. Another safe spawned behind a corner against the zone edge, where I've never seen a glowie spawn before, so it took me a little while to find it. Nothing major though.
At some point a "level 1 boss" spawned. A Spines/Something that did nothing but spam Barb Swipe. Could be a pain for some, though - Toxic slowing DoT effects are among the reasons newbies don't enjoy Vahzilok. Still, took it out without much trouble.
At another point (I really didn't notice what exactly triggered these) a "level 2 boss" spawned; or so the NavBar told me. It took me quite a while to find her, because she was dressed appropriately for a fire-user - and thus blended in with the normal Fallen mobs, wearing black-and-red. Okay, my bad for not being attentive, but the large open outdoor map didn't help much.
After unceremoniously defeating the fire-something level 2 boss and collecting all the glowies, a "level 3 boss" spawned.
Now, I have no idea what that was meant to be, because I honestly couldn't find it.
I spent a good 15 minutes combing the map for it, mashing my Tab key, and even cleared the map of the normal Hellions after a while. Nothing. Yes, I did check the little passageways in the trees. I even checked -above- the trees, just in case the spawn went wacky - two hellions had crawled inside the geometry, so I figured it was possible the boss had been acting cooky as well. No luck though.
Since my coffee had gotten completely cold after the 15 minutes or so I had spent chasing a boss that did not seem to exist, I finally gave up. I'm sorry, but had this at least been an indoor map I might have been persuaded to keep looking until I find it. I'd hate to have to start my reviewing like this, but if I spend any more time on this arc I'll just have less time today to get other reviews done, sorry.
Overall, nothing too tricky, but the choice of map really leaves a lot to be desired, and, in fact, makes me seriously consider changing the final map in my own Knucklebones arc... 5 minutes of searching for boss 2 with Super Speed and 15 minutes of searching for boss 3 without even finding it is a bit much; at the very least do something to make them stand out, like having the minions surrounding them spam the green fire spellcasting animation or something like that...
Also, the arc features an unhealthy amount of common typos and misspellings, such as you're -> your. While making a MA arc is not writing an essay, good form and good spelling is still important, at least by this reviewer's standards. (Of course, I'm not a native English speaker myself, so I'll never be -overly- harsh on that matter.)
I won't tell anyone to -avoid- this mission, but bring some friends with travel powers so you don't tear your hair out finding all the glowies and bosses. Not really a story-telling arc either, it's pretty much just a "beat up bad guys" single mission.
Good Review Monsieur Blitzkrieger, and on that basis happy to put the first of my "Shadows" arcs up for review. ( I haven't written the other two yet 
)
ID (#53149) Whispers in the Shadows
One thing I will own-up to straight away is that I haven't put descriptions in for the mobs yet, it's on a todo list.
TIA
Fahie
Nice review Col. I can hear you on outdoor maps and mob spawns, especially AVs. After seeing where my boss and objects spawned an outdoor map i decided to change it to smaller one but that one has trees which can be bigger obstacle. I wish there is a way to point where you want your bosses spawn in outdoor maps. 
We will possibly try Damz mission later with our MA only leveling team.
Thanks for the review Think most people know by now i have terrible spelling so its all good!
With the crate that goes boom . . . . . . did the contact tell you to destroy it? No? Then you just got noob busted for destroying it (iirc the ambush from it says to only go after the mission objectives).
Re map: Yeah i tried it on a 3 level tech map with a safe on each level and the correct level boss appearing on their correct level (eg level 1 boss spawned on first floor). However from feedback, the level 3 boss sometimes spawned on level 2 and destroyed the "go up to the next level" feeling i wanted so had to resort to an outdoor map )
Thanks for the feedback though, will log on tonight (after the downtime) and edit where you suggest.
@Damz Find me on the global channel Union Chat. One of the best "chat channels" ingame!
Have to confess I played this one up to the first mission briefing. Then told the contact to stuff it. (Role Playing opportunity there!).
I really should do something about this signature.
Arc #1090, "It's a Knife-Eat-Fork World"
tl;dr: Rating mercifully withheld until fixed. Several canon violations, non-heroic "Heroic" arc, "Just a bunch of stuff that happened", surprise timed missions, gratuitous custom faction, Wall Banger plot, inconsistent level cap, mission order royally messed up and confusing, no Souvenir.
The story begins with your contact reminding you of those chips you found and telling you those cyborgs are holed up in a lab... Wait, what?
Okay, it looks like the author was testing mission 4 of the arc and forgot to put the order back the way it's meant to be when he published it. This is hardly excusible, but I've got a review to do.
Anyway, I rush over to the abandoned lab and am greeted by a bunch of custom mobs that are basically the full female Cyborg costume set. Minions were dual blades/something, lieutenants are elec blast/elec manipulation. I was on my Elec/Elec Brute, so they didn't really do much. There was also a hostage named "Fork", who was not mentioned by the contact at all, and whose description was "Fork in the heat of battle", while he was appropriately cowering on his knees. Okay. Fork turned out to be Elec Blast/Elec Armor and helped me take care of all of the 8 or 10 cyborgs on the small map. The mission outro text stated that apparently I had dismantled a whole army of the things. This is one of the very rare cases where I'd say a LARGER map would be better for the mission.
Next up, mission 2! Apparently those cyborgs, whom I just wiped out completely, are robbing a bank. This feels like watching the Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi all over again, with the non-chronological order. Kind of surreal, but not in a good sense.
Anyway, it's a LSSL map, and thus once again rather short. Gotta love that catchy beat in the background though. Having beaten up the cyborgs with little effort, I found a safe in the vault. Since this is a Heroic arc, I naturally crack the safe and loot its insides. Sadly, all that's inside is a tape recording, where some scientist tells you to stay away from the cyborgs because "YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GETTING YOURSELF IN TO". Might have been more dramatic if I were playing a toon without capped Energy resistance, but that's not the author's fault.
Next up, mission 3. Your contact sends you to break "Helen" out of the Zig. Wait, what? I thought this was a Hero arc?
What's even more of a Wall Banger is his claim that "the guards are off duty, so the prisoners are all loose". If this was meant to be a joke, it was poorly executed in my honest opinion. This mission exemplars you down to the level of the Prisoners faction. Surprise exemplaring is something you really should avoid in an arc, unless there's a very good story-based reason for it.
Anyway, Helen turns out to be a Knives boss. After defeating the Prisoners guarding her cell, who are pestering her to give them weapons (why the heck would she have weapons in her cell? The Guards Must Be Crazy.), she tells you the Knives were planning on taking over the world after enslaving the cyborgs. Right. This is wrong on so many levels it's a little depressing. She also mentions you were the one who arrested her in the first place - that's nice to know, but makes rescuing her even more bizarre. Fortunately this is not an escort, so she just runs off and the mission is complete.
Next up, mission... 1!
*Rubs temples.*
Alright, your contact asks you if you want to know about something that's all over the news. This implies your character does not read newspapers or watch TV. Right.
Anyway, the Knives are, for some reason, attacking the WSPDR building in Cap au Diable. Your contact gives you an excellent reason to stop them: Because otherwise you won't have good TV to watch. Why a hero would be watching TV broadcast by WSPDR is beyond me. Anyway, the boss is Helen again. Wait, my bad, this is the -first- time you meet her. She's wearing a more-or-less convincing Knives outfit replica, which is immediately ruined by her drawing Claws when you agro her. At least the author didn't give her the currently-bugged Ninjitsu to emulate a KoA cloaking device. She went down pretty quickly on Unyielding, without hurting me much.
Thoroughly chronologically confused now, the bizarre plot not helping to bring much clarification to the whole matter, your contact finally sends you to Atlas Park, where the Knives have apparently started work on taking over the world.
Um, yeah.
Apparently, you, having destroyed the cyborgs, actually helped them, somehow. It's left unclear how or why, but it has something to do with them looting chips off the destroyed cyborgs.
Um, yeah.
The map choice is a little unfortunate. There is a completely random huge asteroid lodged in the ground next to the city hall, and you enter through an Aspect of the Pillar.
Honestly, with the way the arc's been playing so far, you could easily change the parameter to "Villainous" and change the map the the final LRSF map, where you enter through an Arachnos Flier (there's no asteroid either), and nobody would bat an eye.
You find Fork again here. For some incomprehensible reason, the KoA guarding him yells "Get his electricity!". This was also exclaimed in mission on-... four, where one of the cyborgs guarding Fork said the same thing.
The goal of the mission is to protect a Rikti Bomb. The Knives guarding it have some wonderful lines of text, along the lines of "If we punch it real hard, it'll blow up!".
...
After taking out the suicidally stupid Knives around the bomb, and waiting half a minute for their Caltrops to fade, the arc finally ended with a mission success.
And that's about it.
I have to be honest, this arc is pretty bad. I'm not even sure how you could salvage it. The story makes almost no sense at all - the messed up mission order doesn't help. Fork's presence or feature in the name of the arc is not explained at all. The cyborgs are not explained at all, at least not to the player - the contact mentions getting more info on them off the tape recording, which he does not share with you. Breaking villains out of the Zig is not heroic, an that entire mission is just jarringly bizarre. There is so much wrong with this story that it really needs a total makeover. Also, Helen really ought to be Broadsword/Something. You might actually -improve- the arc by rewriting it as a villain arc. As it stands now I honestly can't recommend it to anyone for playing, to be brutally honest.
Further reviews postponed until Maintenance is finished.
I remember playing that arc when it originally had a 3 tier indoor map at the time, with increasing difficulty for each level. It was a cool idea, but I guess damz couldn't get rid of the annoying niggle where things would not always spawn on the level you would think.
A Penny For Your Thoughts #348691 <- Dev's Choice'd by Dr. Aeon!
Submit your MA arc for review & my arcs thread
I would appreciate a candid review courtesy of the Col. -
A Hat Full of Sky
ID: 75015
4 Missions
Should be an AV in the last one
Happy arcing!
Golden-Phoenix - Lvl 50 Fire/Fire Tank
Oodja Nikabolokov - Lvl 50 SS/WP Brute
Baby-Phoenix - Lvl 50 Peacebringer
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris?
It helps to do that arc when you are playing a lowbie (I did that in the first map). Then the wanting to prove you are not a noob thing sounds better.
My advice to Noobbuster. Remove the crate from the objectives list. And call it a crate full of precious china or something. Then he who destroys it, must surely be a noob and in need for a bust. And erm longbow might be better then skulls. After all you just did a criminal act! Good for villains but not heroic.
[ QUOTE ]
I remember playing that arc when it originally had a 3 tier indoor map at the time, with increasing difficulty for each level. It was a cool idea, but I guess damz couldn't get rid of the annoying niggle where things would not always spawn on the level you would think.
[/ QUOTE ]
Sadly not Safe 1 and 2 both spawned on floor 1 and 2 accordingly (with their correct level bosses), however boss 3 when spawned had sometimes gone back down to the second level, was a shame really because it was (out of the two) the one i thought had more of a VR feeling to it. Though i still got it in local storage!xD
@Damz Find me on the global channel Union Chat. One of the best "chat channels" ingame!
[ QUOTE ]
Honestly, with the way the arc's been playing so far, you could easily change the parameter to "Villainous" and change the map the the final LRSF map, where you enter through an Arachnos Flier (there's no asteroid either), and nobody would bat an eye.
[/ QUOTE ]
Just a note, that map doesn't allow any rescues.
I really should do something about this signature.
[ QUOTE ]
Just a note, that map doesn't allow any rescues.
[/ QUOTE ]Noted, although the rescue could easily be removed without affecting the story at all.
Question for Col i mean. (sorry sorry blond moment here)
From reading your reviews you are using a pretty hard AT to do them. Might I suggest using a more appropriate one when you test low level arcs? I found that trying to survive with a lowbie gives another perspective to an arc. Especially when it is supposedly designed for lowbies.
Venture's thread on the US forums has become reasonably popular both there and on the EU side. Discussions on some chat channels have pointed out that the European community feels that there should be a harsh, yet fair and qualified authority on these forums as well, who could take review requests and eviscerate peoples' arcs thoroughly, pointing out the good, the bad and the ugly in a detailed manner.
Well, until someone like that pops up, you've got me to do it.
I don't claim to be some infallible authority on what makes a good arc. I'm not saying my own two arcs are pure awesomesauce given form. I'm going to be reviewing in a similar manner though. I'll be sticking to story-focused arcs - this does not mean "serious" arcs alone, comedy arcs are welcome too.
On that note, my opinion is my opinion alone. What one person might find the most hilarious arc ever, I might find unfunny. The reverse might happen too. Keep that in mind if you offer an arc for me to review.
I'll be pointing out flaws mercilessly. There will be SPOILERS, people! I'll be spelling out the storyline of the arc in question in detail, and pointing out specifics. I'll try my best to be constructive though, and even offer recommendations for improvement. But I'll be brutal. If you don't like the rating you get from me, I'm sorry, but then you shouldn't have offered it up.
You may not agree with my views. That's perfectly fine, people are all different. And by all means, if you think you could do a better job - and I'm not saying this in an aggressive or taunting tone - then feel free to do your own reviews! Although I'm the one starting the thread, I'm not against others reviewing things in here with me.
I think that's all the important stuff said now. First come first served, so if you want some random guy from the forums to tell you why your arc is bad, post the #ID here and I'll get right on it! Assuming anyone actually takes interest, of course.
I'll start playing 'em this Friday after I wake up.
(P.S: I'm still unemployed, so I'll have lots of time for this. Fire away.)