Attention Lazy Devs!
By
1_800_Spines,
Posted on: 2008-02-12 16:22 in CoH and CoV General Discussions
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7) an apology for not being as awesome and cool as I am. I know it's technically not your fault, so I'll also require an apology from your parents too.
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I am so very sorry for not attaining the awesomeness that you have attained. I also apologize for my lack of coolness, as I know it doesn't approach yours.
My parents are not very computer savvy, so they are snail mailing their apologies to you. Expect it in 3 to 5 days.
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Dear Positron,
Please note that I have ammended said demands for an apology to also include sufficient funds to purchase a new keyboard, as mine is now covered with coke. (The drinking kind.)
I shall expect this posthaste, along with some of your mothers delicious gingersnap cookies and freshly baked dutch apple pie.
Sincerely,
Liquid Horatio X
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My dear, esteemed Mr. Liquid Horatio X,
Due to the unfortunate "soda on my keyboard" incident which immediately followed the reading of your above-quoted post, I will require you to forfeit any Positron-funded keyboard to myself. Surely such an awesome and cool individual such as yourself can see that this is only fair and equitable given the precedent that you have already established.
I await your contact to facilitate the transfer of ownership of said keyboard with baited breath.
Sincerely,
Father Hallowed Sr.
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7) an apology for not being as awesome and cool as I am. I know it's technically not your fault, so I'll also require an apology from your parents too.
[/ QUOTE ]
I am so very sorry for not attaining the awesomeness that you have attained. I also apologize for my lack of coolness, as I know it doesn't approach yours.
My parents are not very computer savvy, so they are snail mailing their apologies to you. Expect it in 3 to 5 days.
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Dear Positron,
Please note that I have ammended said demands for an apology to also include sufficient funds to purchase a new keyboard, as mine is now covered with coke. (The drinking kind.)
I shall expect this posthaste, along with some of your mothers delicious gingersnap cookies and freshly baked dutch apple pie.
Sincerely,
Liquid Horatio X
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My dear, esteemed Mr. Liquid Horatio X,
Due to the unfortunate "soda on my keyboard" incident which immediately followed the reading of your above-quoted post, I will require you to forfeit any Positron-funded keyboard to myself. Surely such an awesome and cool individual such as yourself can see that this is only fair and equitable given the precedent that you have already established.
I await your contact to facilitate the transfer of ownership of said keyboard with baited breath.
Sincerely,
Father Hallowed Sr.
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Dear Reverend Father Hallowed Sr., esquire,
I am writing to notify you of a further unfortunate incident. Upon reading your post, your use of the phrase "baited breath" instead of the correct "bated breath" caused an acute attack of improper grammar rage, causing me to bang my fist on my desk, breaking my keyboard.
Given your impassioned and well reasoned plea to LiquidX, I am sure you understand that the only right thing for you to do is to pass along to me any keyboard passed to you by LiquidX passed to him by Positron. I will absorb the cost of having the embedded shards of plastic removed from my hand as a sign of good faith.
Anxiously awaiting your reply,
Dr. Francis Oglethorpe Gotterdamurung, DDS
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My dear, esteemed Mr. Liquid Horatio X
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Sounds like he should be at Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends.
This is a song about a super hero named Tony. Its called Tony's theme.
Jagged Reged: 23/01/04
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With the announcement of the Wedding Event, and the fact that only 100 people will be allowed in each "instance" of it, it is quite obvious that I will be unable to attend.
This is unnaceptable, as I pay 15 bucks a month, which entitles me to attend anything that I want, regardless of your so called "Technical capabilities" and "Common Sense". Since you recently upgraded the servers, it is quite obvious that the problems are all your fault, and not mine, because I pay 15 bucks a month and am therefore perfect and know much more about programming and hardware then you. Especially since I just stayed at a Holiday Inn last night, and recently switched my car insurance to Geico.
Therefore, I demand that you compensate me for this discriminatory slap in the face. What follows are my demands for suitable compensation in light of your obvious failings and social awkwardness:
1) An Ouroborous mission of the wedding, complete with "TEH MAD XP AND BLING.".
2) All badges made available to me from the very start, even ones not in the game yet, in order to show how much better I am then everyone else.
3) A Big Red Ball
4) Merge all the servers into one big server, because there are not enough people playing on this dying game. Then kick everyone else off because it will be too crowded. And I pay 15 bucks a month, and am therefore better then them.
5) FIIIIIIIIIIIVE GOL-DEN RIIIIIIIIIIIIIINGS!
6) Advance notices on any unplanned outages, server locks, or anything that will inconvenience me. Just because you all are too lazy and not geniuses like me, doesen't mean I should have to suffer for your poor planning and lack of hygeine.
7) an apology for not being as awesome and cool as I am. I know it's technically not your fault, so I'll also require an apology from your parents too.
8) A Pony, named Princess Marcian Tobay the Third Esquire Jr. I shall than hug her, and squeeze her, and call her George.
9) More Catgirls. There are not enough Catgirls in the game.
That is all of my demands. I shall expect swift payment, otherwise it is proof that you all are meanies who hate your players, and want to completly ruin a game that's not fun anyways and that I hate because I keep complaining. Also, you have cooties.
Sincerely,
Liquid Horatio X
(P.S. - SexyJay is exempt from the following demands. He is Sexy, and therefore awesome. But the rest of you are big dumb stupidheads)
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Dear LiquidX,
What you've just wrote is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent post were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this forum is now dumber for having read it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
(P.S. - I love you! 
)
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Good ol' Billy Madison.
@ShoRyu Kusanagi
The Unoffical Anime Junky of Justice
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My dear, esteemed Mr. Liquid Horatio X,
Due to the unfortunate "soda on my keyboard" incident which immediately followed the reading of your above-quoted post, I will require you to forfeit any Positron-funded keyboard to myself. Surely such an awesome and cool individual such as yourself can see that this is only fair and equitable given the precedent that you have already established.
I await your contact to facilitate the transfer of ownership of said keyboard with baited breath.
Sincerely,
Father Hallowed Sr.
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Forget the keyboard, I laughed so hard I need a new pair of tights. 
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7) an apology for not being as awesome and cool as I am. I know it's technically not your fault, so I'll also require an apology from your parents too.
[/ QUOTE ]
I am so very sorry for not attaining the awesomeness that you have attained. I also apologize for my lack of coolness, as I know it doesn't approach yours.
My parents are not very computer savvy, so they are snail mailing their apologies to you. Expect it in 3 to 5 days.
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Dear Positron,
Please note that I have ammended said demands for an apology to also include sufficient funds to purchase a new keyboard, as mine is now covered with coke. (The drinking kind.)
I shall expect this posthaste, along with some of your mothers delicious gingersnap cookies and freshly baked dutch apple pie.
Sincerely,
Liquid Horatio X
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My dear, esteemed Mr. Liquid Horatio X,
Due to the unfortunate "soda on my keyboard" incident which immediately followed the reading of your above-quoted post, I will require you to forfeit any Positron-funded keyboard to myself. Surely such an awesome and cool individual such as yourself can see that this is only fair and equitable given the precedent that you have already established.
I await your contact to facilitate the transfer of ownership of said keyboard with baited breath.
Sincerely,
Father Hallowed Sr.
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Dear Reverend Father Hallowed Sr., esquire,
I am writing to notify you of a further unfortunate incident. Upon reading your post, your use of the phrase "baited breath" instead of the correct "bated breath" caused an acute attack of improper grammar rage, causing me to bang my fist on my desk, breaking my keyboard.
Given your impassioned and well reasoned plea to LiquidX, I am sure you understand that the only right thing for you to do is to pass along to me any keyboard passed to you by LiquidX passed to him by Positron. I will absorb the cost of having the embedded shards of plastic removed from my hand as a sign of good faith.
Anxiously awaiting your reply,
Dr. Francis Oglethorpe Gotterdamurung, DDS
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Attention Dr. Francis Oglethorpe Gotterdamurung, DDS:
Concurrent to your rather unfortunate incident which was predicated upon the esteemed Mr. Liquid Horatio X's misfortune, I myself was possessed by a fit of unseemly laughter that I simultaneously cracked my tooth, sprained my neck, and misaligned my lumbar vertebrae.
Therefore I am hereby giving notice that I am appending the damages incurred to my keyboard to the damages that you seek ultimately from Positron, the original progenitor of this entire unfortunate chain of events.
As a fellow man of education (I myself being a scholar of modern English and ancient Latin) I know that you will instantly see the merit of this action and support it as the sole course to return to the salubrious harmony that all of we victims enjoyed just yesterday.
Sincerely,
Doctor Rolin Silas ChromeEvil Phlogiston (esq.)
I actually have a serious thought to come out of this -- although let definitely voice my agreement to the "Liquid X is awesome" sentiment here!
I recently ran a couple of missions from Serpent Drummer recently. One in particular, the "Protect Lady Gray" mission, was a very pleasant diversion from the usual mission structure. In this, you're standing in a room where a bunch of NPC's are chatting, a Rikti-Vanguard peace summit. You're directed to talk to Serp.Drummer, standing in the back, who asks you to go check the security log. This triggers a cut-scene where you see Lady Gray being ambushed, and you have to go run and help her out.
What if you used this framework for a Wedding? Mission starts out with people standing around the wedding reception, and then you go click on a glowie (say, to "take a phone call"), which triggers a cut scene of villains attacking and disabling most of the guests. You then have to run back to where the bride and groom are, and protect them from the crashers. It's a classic comic story (wedding crashed by villains), and could make for a lot of fun for players!
What'cha think, devs?
Most often online as: Onmyouji (Triumph, Defender), King Kaizoku (Virtue, Mastermind), Sister Samedi (Freedom, Scrapper), G1 Shrike (Pinnacle, Defender), Kinetic Rex (Virtue, Blaster), El Santo de Aguilas (Virtue, Peacebringer), Hecate (Exalted, Controller), The Mask of Legend (Exalted, Scrapper), and Star-Ranger Green (Exalted, Corruptor)
I'm inspired to make a new toon called Divorce Lawyer
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I'm inspired to make a new toon called Divorce Lawyer
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ROFLMAO!! Uh, time for new tights again. 
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7) an apology for not being as awesome and cool as I am. I know it's technically not your fault, so I'll also require an apology from your parents too.
[/ QUOTE ]
I am so very sorry for not attaining the awesomeness that you have attained. I also apologize for my lack of coolness, as I know it doesn't approach yours.
My parents are not very computer savvy, so they are snail mailing their apologies to you. Expect it in 3 to 5 days.
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Dear Positron,
Please note that I have ammended said demands for an apology to also include sufficient funds to purchase a new keyboard, as mine is now covered with coke. (The drinking kind.)
I shall expect this posthaste, along with some of your mothers delicious gingersnap cookies and freshly baked dutch apple pie.
Sincerely,
Liquid Horatio X
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My dear, esteemed Mr. Liquid Horatio X,
Due to the unfortunate "soda on my keyboard" incident which immediately followed the reading of your above-quoted post, I will require you to forfeit any Positron-funded keyboard to myself. Surely such an awesome and cool individual such as yourself can see that this is only fair and equitable given the precedent that you have already established.
I await your contact to facilitate the transfer of ownership of said keyboard with baited breath.
Sincerely,
Father Hallowed Sr.
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Dear Reverend Father Hallowed Sr., esquire,
I am writing to notify you of a further unfortunate incident. Upon reading your post, your use of the phrase "baited breath" instead of the correct "bated breath" caused an acute attack of improper grammar rage, causing me to bang my fist on my desk, breaking my keyboard.
Given your impassioned and well reasoned plea to LiquidX, I am sure you understand that the only right thing for you to do is to pass along to me any keyboard passed to you by LiquidX passed to him by Positron. I will absorb the cost of having the embedded shards of plastic removed from my hand as a sign of good faith.
Anxiously awaiting your reply,
Dr. Francis Oglethorpe Gotterdamurung, DDS
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Attention Dr. Francis Oglethorpe Gotterdamurung, DDS:
Concurrent to your rather unfortunate incident which was predicated upon the esteemed Mr. Liquid Horatio X's misfortune, I myself was possessed by a fit of unseemly laughter that I simultaneously cracked my tooth, sprained my neck, and misaligned my lumbar vertebrae.
Therefore I am hereby giving notice that I am appending the damages incurred to my keyboard to the damages that you seek ultimately from Positron, the original progenitor of this entire unfortunate chain of events.
As a fellow man of education (I myself being a scholar of modern English and ancient Latin) I know that you will instantly see the merit of this action and support it as the sole course to return to the salubrious harmony that all of we victims enjoyed just yesterday.
Sincerely,
Doctor Rolin Silas ChromeEvil Phlogiston (esq.)
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Dear Gentlemen, Madames, and assorted beings of Indeterminate gender,
While I (being of the sheer awesomeness and registering over 50 Mega-Fonzi's on the Coolometer) certainly understaned your impassioned pleas, I regret to inform you that as I pay 15 bucks a month for my subscription to this game, am automatically better then you, and thus much more deserving of said money for said keyboard to be paid by said Positron on said date.
However, I hope you will be happy to hear that this series of unfortunate events will now be chronicled by one "Lemony Snicket", who has promised to pay all royalties to you in person.
Sincerely,
Liquid Horatio X
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I'm inspired to make a new toon called Divorce Lawyer
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ROFLMAO!! Uh, time for new tights again.
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That's starting to sound like a personal problem. Maybe you need to see a doctor about that.
BackAlleyBrawler: I can't facepalm this post hard enough.
ShoNuff: If sophisticated = bro-mantically emo-tastic, then I'm going to keep to my Shonen loving simplicity dammit.
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Incredible post, should be marked for saving by the mods for sure.
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Done.
Ex
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At no point in your rambling, incoherent post were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought.
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Par for the course.
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Really. I mean, the day I have something people could consider a "rational" thought is the day that Pigs finally reach level 14 and take the "Flight" power.
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7) an apology for not being as awesome and cool as I am. I know it's technically not your fault, so I'll also require an apology from your parents too.
[/ QUOTE ]
I am so very sorry for not attaining the awesomeness that you have attained. I also apologize for my lack of coolness, as I know it doesn't approach yours.
My parents are not very computer savvy, so they are snail mailing their apologies to you. Expect it in 3 to 5 days.
[/ QUOTE ]
Dear Positron,
Please note that I have ammended said demands for an apology to also include sufficient funds to purchase a new keyboard, as mine is now covered with coke. (The drinking kind.)
I shall expect this posthaste, along with some of your mothers delicious gingersnap cookies and freshly baked dutch apple pie.
Sincerely,
Liquid Horatio X
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My dear, esteemed Mr. Liquid Horatio X,
Due to the unfortunate "soda on my keyboard" incident which immediately followed the reading of your above-quoted post, I will require you to forfeit any Positron-funded keyboard to myself. Surely such an awesome and cool individual such as yourself can see that this is only fair and equitable given the precedent that you have already established.
I await your contact to facilitate the transfer of ownership of said keyboard with baited breath.
Sincerely,
Father Hallowed Sr.
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Dear Reverend Father Hallowed Sr., esquire,
I am writing to notify you of a further unfortunate incident. Upon reading your post, your use of the phrase "baited breath" instead of the correct "bated breath" caused an acute attack of improper grammar rage, causing me to bang my fist on my desk, breaking my keyboard.
Given your impassioned and well reasoned plea to LiquidX, I am sure you understand that the only right thing for you to do is to pass along to me any keyboard passed to you by LiquidX passed to him by Positron. I will absorb the cost of having the embedded shards of plastic removed from my hand as a sign of good faith.
Anxiously awaiting your reply,
Dr. Francis Oglethorpe Gotterdamurung, DDS
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Attention Dr. Francis Oglethorpe Gotterdamurung, DDS:
Concurrent to your rather unfortunate incident which was predicated upon the esteemed Mr. Liquid Horatio X's misfortune, I myself was possessed by a fit of unseemly laughter that I simultaneously cracked my tooth, sprained my neck, and misaligned my lumbar vertebrae.
Therefore I am hereby giving notice that I am appending the damages incurred to my keyboard to the damages that you seek ultimately from Positron, the original progenitor of this entire unfortunate chain of events.
As a fellow man of education (I myself being a scholar of modern English and ancient Latin) I know that you will instantly see the merit of this action and support it as the sole course to return to the salubrious harmony that all of we victims enjoyed just yesterday.
Sincerely,
Doctor Rolin Silas ChromeEvil Phlogiston (esq.)
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Dear Gentlemen, Madames, and assorted beings of Indeterminate gender,
While I (being of the sheer awesomeness and registering over 50 Mega-Fonzi's on the Coolometer) certainly understaned your impassioned pleas, I regret to inform you that as I pay 15 bucks a month for my subscription to this game, am automatically better then you, and thus much more deserving of said money for said keyboard to be paid by said Positron on said date.
However, I hope you will be happy to hear that this series of unfortunate events will now be chronicled by one "Lemony Snicket", who has promised to pay all royalties to you in person.
Sincerely,
Liquid Horatio X
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So... LiquidX is dating Positron?
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7) an apology for not being as awesome and cool as I am. I know it's technically not your fault, so I'll also require an apology from your parents too.
[/ QUOTE ]
I am so very sorry for not attaining the awesomeness that you have attained. I also apologize for my lack of coolness, as I know it doesn't approach yours.
My parents are not very computer savvy, so they are snail mailing their apologies to you. Expect it in 3 to 5 days.
[/ QUOTE ]
Dear Positron,
Please note that I have ammended said demands for an apology to also include sufficient funds to purchase a new keyboard, as mine is now covered with coke. (The drinking kind.)
I shall expect this posthaste, along with some of your mothers delicious gingersnap cookies and freshly baked dutch apple pie.
Sincerely,
Liquid Horatio X
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My dear, esteemed Mr. Liquid Horatio X,
Due to the unfortunate "soda on my keyboard" incident which immediately followed the reading of your above-quoted post, I will require you to forfeit any Positron-funded keyboard to myself. Surely such an awesome and cool individual such as yourself can see that this is only fair and equitable given the precedent that you have already established.
I await your contact to facilitate the transfer of ownership of said keyboard with baited breath.
Sincerely,
Father Hallowed Sr.
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Dear Reverend Father Hallowed Sr., esquire,
I am writing to notify you of a further unfortunate incident. Upon reading your post, your use of the phrase "baited breath" instead of the correct "bated breath" caused an acute attack of improper grammar rage, causing me to bang my fist on my desk, breaking my keyboard.
Given your impassioned and well reasoned plea to LiquidX, I am sure you understand that the only right thing for you to do is to pass along to me any keyboard passed to you by LiquidX passed to him by Positron. I will absorb the cost of having the embedded shards of plastic removed from my hand as a sign of good faith.
Anxiously awaiting your reply,
Dr. Francis Oglethorpe Gotterdamurung, DDS
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Attention Dr. Francis Oglethorpe Gotterdamurung, DDS:
Concurrent to your rather unfortunate incident which was predicated upon the esteemed Mr. Liquid Horatio X's misfortune, I myself was possessed by a fit of unseemly laughter that I simultaneously cracked my tooth, sprained my neck, and misaligned my lumbar vertebrae.
Therefore I am hereby giving notice that I am appending the damages incurred to my keyboard to the damages that you seek ultimately from Positron, the original progenitor of this entire unfortunate chain of events.
As a fellow man of education (I myself being a scholar of modern English and ancient Latin) I know that you will instantly see the merit of this action and support it as the sole course to return to the salubrious harmony that all of we victims enjoyed just yesterday.
Sincerely,
Doctor Rolin Silas ChromeEvil Phlogiston (esq.)
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Dear Gentlemen, Madames, and assorted beings of Indeterminate gender,
While I (being of the sheer awesomeness and registering over 50 Mega-Fonzi's on the Coolometer) certainly understaned your impassioned pleas, I regret to inform you that as I pay 15 bucks a month for my subscription to this game, am automatically better then you, and thus much more deserving of said money for said keyboard to be paid by said Positron on said date.
However, I hope you will be happy to hear that this series of unfortunate events will now be chronicled by one "Lemony Snicket", who has promised to pay all royalties to you in person.
Sincerely,
Liquid Horatio X
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Dear, esteemed Mr. Liquid Horatio X,
While I am certainly sympathetic to your misfortunes suffered as a direct result of the Dev's unjustified laziness and lack of foresight, I am sorry to inform you that I currently pay $60-$90 per month to play this game. Given this fact, I am automatically 4-6 times more awesome than you, entitling me to any and all payments you may receive from the at fault party. I will waive the additional damages I could claim under Awesome Law (Section 2 - Subsection C - Paragraph IV - Line 2) as an act of good faith and purely as a means to achieve settlement.
Should you not be in agreement with my proposed schedule, please notify me immediately so we can proceed to Interpersonal Arbitration as I'm sure the selected board will explode upon entrance of my Awesomeness and rule in my favor.
Enclosed, please find a properly executed Release of All Claims and a self addressed shipping label for the delivery the above referenced articles. Your anticipated cooperation is appreciated.
Sincerely,
Smoke Harrison Signal, MBA, AIC, CPCU
"His Imperial Majesty's Minister of Restraints and Leather" -LHF
Two naughty acronym teams / Ascension / Convenient / Artic and the Chillz / Fap / Other teams I can't remember (sorry.. mind is goin')
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At no point in your rambling, incoherent post were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought.
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Par for the course.
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Really. I mean, the day I have something people could consider a "rational" thought is the day that Pigs finally reach level 14 and take the "Flight" power.
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srsly! 
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At no point in your rambling, incoherent post were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought.
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Par for the course.
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Really. I mean, the day I have something people could consider a "rational" thought is the day that Pigs finally reach level 14 and take the "Flight" power.
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Unfortunately Pigs had free time durring the double XP weekend and reached level 22. Hover turned out to be a red herring, as Pigs took Teleport at level 14 rather than Flight. "Rational" thought shall thus not be forthcoming from Liquid Horatio X.
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At no point in your rambling, incoherent post were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought.
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Par for the course.
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Really. I mean, the day I have something people could consider a "rational" thought is the day that Pigs finally reach level 14 and take the "Flight" power.
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Unless those pigs started during the winter event and have a jetpack at level 1.
Dun dun dunnnnnnnnnn.
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At no point in your rambling, incoherent post were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought.
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Par for the course.
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Really. I mean, the day I have something people could consider a "rational" thought is the day that Pigs finally reach level 14 and take the "Flight" power.
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Unless those pigs started during the winter event and have a jetpack at level 1.
Dun dun dunnnnnnnnnn.
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At which point, when the Moon Zone finally arrives, we shall see...
PIGS IN SPAAAAAAAAAACE!
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At no point in your rambling, incoherent post were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought.
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Par for the course.
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Really. I mean, the day I have something people could consider a "rational" thought is the day that Pigs finally reach level 14 and take the "Flight" power.
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Unless those pigs started during the winter event and have a jetpack at level 1.
Dun dun dunnnnnnnnnn.
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At which point, when the Moon Zone finally arrives, we shall see...
PIGS IN SPAAAAAAAAAACE!
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Stay tuned for the next exciting episode where Miss Piggy finally expresses her feeling for the Captain.
*HIiiiYyyyyaaaaa!*
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At no point in your rambling, incoherent post were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought.
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Par for the course.
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Really. I mean, the day I have something people could consider a "rational" thought is the day that Pigs finally reach level 14 and take the "Flight" power.
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Unless those pigs started during the winter event and have a jetpack at level 1.
Dun dun dunnnnnnnnnn.
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At which point, when the Moon Zone finally arrives, we shall see...
PIGS IN SPAAAAAAAAAACE!
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Will you be Link or Dr Strangepork?
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Thread of the eternity.
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Q F and T.
...and is it too late to demand REAL bunny tails? 
Not that folks haven't gotten a kick out of the puffball attached to my butt...
best damn post i ever read on this thing!!
40 50s so far.
if you dont like me....i dont really care.
respect is earned , never given
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With the announcement of the Wedding Event
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What is this Wedding Event you speak of? 
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I am a big dumb stupidhead... it's really true!
Ex
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To sig or not to sig, that is the question... And it's a tough one.
BackAlleyBrawler: I can't facepalm this post hard enough.
ShoNuff: If sophisticated = bro-mantically emo-tastic, then I'm going to keep to my Shonen loving simplicity dammit.