Attention Lazy Devs!


1_800_Spines

 

Posted

With the announcement of the Wedding Event, and the fact that only 100 people will be allowed in each "instance" of it, it is quite obvious that I will be unable to attend.

This is unnaceptable, as I pay 15 bucks a month, which entitles me to attend anything that I want, regardless of your so called "Technical capabilities" and "Common Sense". Since you recently upgraded the servers, it is quite obvious that the problems are all your fault, and not mine, because I pay 15 bucks a month and am therefore perfect and know much more about programming and hardware then you. Especially since I just stayed at a Holiday Inn last night, and recently switched my car insurance to Geico.

Therefore, I demand that you compensate me for this discriminatory slap in the face. What follows are my demands for suitable compensation in light of your obvious failings and social awkwardness:

1) An Ouroborous mission of the wedding, complete with "TEH MAD XP AND BLING.".

2) All badges made available to me from the very start, even ones not in the game yet, in order to show how much better I am then everyone else.

3) A Big Red Ball

4) Merge all the servers into one big server, because there are not enough people playing on this dying game. Then kick everyone else off because it will be too crowded. And I pay 15 bucks a month, and am therefore better then them.

5) FIIIIIIIIIIIVE GOL-DEN RIIIIIIIIIIIIIINGS!

6) Advance notices on any unplanned outages, server locks, or anything that will inconvenience me. Just because you all are too lazy and not geniuses like me, doesen't mean I should have to suffer for your poor planning and lack of hygeine.

7) an apology for not being as awesome and cool as I am. I know it's technically not your fault, so I'll also require an apology from your parents too.

8) A Pony, named Princess Marcian Tobay the Third Esquire Jr. I shall than hug her, and squeeze her, and call her George.

9) More Catgirls. There are not enough Catgirls in the game.

That is all of my demands. I shall expect swift payment, otherwise it is proof that you all are meanies who hate your players, and want to completly ruin a game that's not fun anyways and that I hate because I keep complaining. Also, you have cooties.

Sincerely,
Liquid Horatio X

(P.S. - SexyJay is exempt from the following demands. He is Sexy, and therefore awesome. But the rest of you are big dumb stupidheads)


 

Posted

and wear is our cake!



Does not always detect CoH

 

Posted

10: Fox tails god dammit.


 

Posted

Thread of the year. Will read again.


 

Posted

Wait, who's lazy here? Because when I saw it was on Test, I was like, "Oh, well." I don't do Test.

--NT


They all laughed at me when I said I wanted to be a comedian.
But I showed them, and nobody's laughing at me now!

If I became a red name, I would be all "and what would you mere mortals like to entertain me with today, mu hu ha ha ha!" ~Arcanaville

 

Posted

/signed


 

Posted

[ QUOTE ]
and wear is our cake!

[/ QUOTE ]

Teh Cake is a lie!


"Ben is short for Frank."
-Baffling Beer-Man, The Tenacious 3: The Movie

[IMG]http://i197.photobucket.com/albums/aa10/BafflingBeerman/teamjackface1.jpg[/IMG]

 

Posted

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
and wear is our cake!

[/ QUOTE ]

Teh Cake is a lie!

[/ QUOTE ]

....especially when you're using it as a garment?


The Comish of the Liberty PVP League!
AA PVP
Can't find it? Use the Robo Button!

 

Posted

Reasonable and logical.
/signed


 

Posted

They should do this event on Freedom.

While it's locked.


 

Posted

I have no idea why I expected a serious post to come from this.

/tehchuckle


Doom.

Yep.

This is really doom.

 

Posted

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
and wear is our cake!

[/ QUOTE ]

Teh Cake is a lie!

[/ QUOTE ]

....especially when you're using it as a garment?

[/ QUOTE ]

Yes.

Which reminds me, is anyone going to be jumping out of the cake-lie?


"Ben is short for Frank."
-Baffling Beer-Man, The Tenacious 3: The Movie

[IMG]http://i197.photobucket.com/albums/aa10/BafflingBeerman/teamjackface1.jpg[/IMG]

 

Posted

[ QUOTE ]
I have no idea why I expected a serious post to come from this.

[/ QUOTE ]

Seriously, whats up with that? One would think you would have learned better by now. Maybe next time you should stay at a Holdiay Inn.


 

Posted

BafflingBeerMan wrote:

[ QUOTE ]
Which reminds me, is anyone going to be jumping out of the cake-lie?

[/ QUOTE ]

Yes! <sideways glance with one raised eyebrow> Of course!

--NT


They all laughed at me when I said I wanted to be a comedian.
But I showed them, and nobody's laughing at me now!

If I became a red name, I would be all "and what would you mere mortals like to entertain me with today, mu hu ha ha ha!" ~Arcanaville

 

Posted

The Toast is a lie!


Part of Sister Flame's Clickey-Clack Posse

The English language is an intricate high-speed precision tool.Stop using it to bang open coconuts. ~Tokamak
Dark_Respite's Video page

 

Posted

I heartily agree with this proposal, and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

Also, I think the Devs should just move their offices into a Holiday Inn. That way they wouldn't fail so much.


 

Posted

[ QUOTE ]
7) an apology for not being as awesome and cool as I am. I know it's technically not your fault, so I'll also require an apology from your parents too.

[/ QUOTE ]

I am so very sorry for not attaining the awesomeness that you have attained. I also apologize for my lack of coolness, as I know it doesn't approach yours.

My parents are not very computer savvy, so they are snail mailing their apologies to you. Expect it in 3 to 5 days.


Positron
Follow me on Twitter

 

Posted

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
7) an apology for not being as awesome and cool as I am. I know it's technically not your fault, so I'll also require an apology from your parents too.

[/ QUOTE ]

I am so very sorry for not attaining the awesomeness that you have attained. I also apologize for my lack of coolness, as I know it doesn't approach yours.

My parents are not very computer savvy, so they are snail mailing their apologies to you. Expect it in 3 to 5 days.

[/ QUOTE ]

... gods, I love our devs.


 

Posted

[ QUOTE ]
and recently switched my car insurance to Geico.

[/ QUOTE ]

Don't you mean "switched my car insurance to Geko"?

Or EvilGeko, since Geko's gone...


 

Posted

And here I was going to lock the thread and send LiquidX a stern warning!


Lighthouse
Community Relations Manager


If you have a specific in game, account, tech or billing problem please contact our Customer Support team via The Knowledge Base "Ask A Question" page.

 

Posted

[ QUOTE ]
And here I was going to lock the thread and send LiquidX a stern warning!

[/ QUOTE ]Send him a stern warning anyways >_>


 

Posted

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
7) an apology for not being as awesome and cool as I am. I know it's technically not your fault, so I'll also require an apology from your parents too.

[/ QUOTE ]

I am so very sorry for not attaining the awesomeness that you have attained. I also apologize for my lack of coolness, as I know it doesn't approach yours.

My parents are not very computer savvy, so they are snail mailing their apologies to you. Expect it in 3 to 5 days.

[/ QUOTE ]

Dear Positron,

Please note that I have ammended said demands for an apology to also include sufficient funds to purchase a new keyboard, as mine is now covered with coke. (The drinking kind.)

I shall expect this posthaste, along with some of your mothers delicious gingersnap cookies and freshly baked dutch apple pie.

Sincerely,
Liquid Horatio X


 

Posted

[ QUOTE ]
With the announcement of the Wedding Event, and the fact that only 100 people will be allowed in each "instance" of it, it is quite obvious that I will be unable to attend.

[/ QUOTE ]

*huffy*

They're not getting a wedding present if I can't get in there, that's just all there is to it. *stuffs pink-mylar-wrapped and silk-ribbon-bound suitcase nuke back behind the nearest teleporter in the base* That'll show 'em.

Beware of villains bearing gifts:
Bad