City of Heroes: Live Forum Archive

Arcanaville informed me that I am required to answer the following questions...

Amerikatt

By Amerikatt,
Posted on: 2011-06-24 21:10 in CoH and CoV General Discussions

 

Posted

Because Arcana told me I have to answer these...

(for the real answer, please see this post)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Arcanaville View Post
Actually, to be perfectly clear Zwillinger should answer the following questions yes or no, to avoid any further confusion.
Quote:
1. Is the current base cost for a subscription per month increasing from its current value of $14.95?
No.

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2. Does that value pay for the same amount of time?
Depends...what time zone?

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3. Is that time consecutive?
Yes. One Minute will be followed by another...and another...and another...


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4. Are you authorized to answer questions about subscriptions?
Yes...wait, I'm sorry I have just been informed the answer to that question is no. Further apologies, I have been updated that the answer to this question is now yes. For now. Subject to change. Void in some states.

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5. Are you authorized to answer questions about what you are authorized to answer?
I will refer you to my immediate superior, who will have to confirm if they are authorized to answer that question regarding my authorization.

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6. Will we be charged a transaction fee for processing our subscription?
No, however we are implementing a tax to support Beastyle's man-doll addiction.

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7. Will the game client have a completely different usage fee?
*opening notepad file*

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8. Will the game add a completely different additional charge to access resources otherwise required to log into the game?
*CTRL+V, CTRL+C* Go on...

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9. In all cases where the devs refer to "VIP status" is the VIP acronym referring to the same program, or are there multiple VIP programs all referred to by the same initials?
We are offering the answer to this question as a service provided in the VIP subscription. You'll have to guess which VIP we mean.

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10. Have the devs placed superseding information in a location the playerbase has not yet discovered?
Yes, but you really don't want to know where that is.

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11. Is the subscription fee set by a completely separate entity other than Paragon Studios or NCSoft that is not required to honor the intentions of the developers or producers, making your answers void?
All hail Xenu.

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12. Are you, currently, someone who believes themselves to be Bizarro Zwillinger?


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13. Do you know of any plans to apply diminishing returns to our subscription, such that it will take $23.74 to equal $14.95?
Oh no you don't...

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14. Have you verified that Positron, aka Matt Miller, has not been given access to the financial spreadsheets of the sales department?
Positron told me to say "Don't worry about it..."

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15. In Zwillingese, does the word "subscription" have the same meaning as in standard American English?
Roughly translated, it also means "employer".

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16. Has Paragon Studios redefined "player" to require your mouse to subscribe separately from your keyboard?
If your mouse has greater processing power than your gfx card, the answer is yes.

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17. Will there be a penalty for paying in advance, and a separate penalty for paying late?
I'm afraid I've had to assess a penalty for asking this question. Should you desire an answer, there will be further penalty.

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18. Is this offer only valid in Canada?
Yes, but only because we're afraid of what War Witch will do to us since the Canucks lost.

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19. Do you plan on retroactively increasing the original subscription and charging customers the difference back to their original subscription date, making the subscription fee at Freedom release identical to the fee at launch?
*CTRL+C* Go on...

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20. Did you put answering this set of questions on your timesheet, forcing Paragon Studios to increase subscription fees to fund the time spent?
My Porsche needs performance upgrades...(+ten internets if you get that reference )



The above has all been said tongue in cheek and in a completely joking manner...

In other words...

Andy Belford
Community Manager
Paragon Studios

 

Posted

The sad thing is I know some people that will quote this in game and call it true because " a red name said it".

I still think it's darned funny, though.

 

Posted

I lolled at least three times reading that. Glad you could blow off some steam after what was obviously a difficult work week, Z.

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-----
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nethergoat View Post
it's NEVER too late to pad your /ignore list!

 

Posted

You are now officially my favorite redname.

(Sorry, Arbiter Kittens.)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Arcanaville View Post
Softcapping an Invuln is fantastic. Softcapping a Willpower is amazing. Softcapping SR is kissing your sister.

 

Posted

When Arcanaville posted that list last night in response to one of my posts, I nearly spit Coca-Cola all over my monitor and computer desk.

Sometimes Arcanaville's posts have that effect on me.

When I saw this post heading at the top of the Community Digest listing a few minutes ago, I almost spit Coca-Cola all over my monitor and computer desk.

Well done Zwanderburgerfilington (goes to check to make sure there isn't a poster by this name).

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Posted

That's it... when the Rednames can do this sort of thing better than me it's time to announce my permanent retirement.

My mind wanders so often you've probably seen its picture on milk cartons. - Me... the first person version of the third person Steelclaw

 

Posted

Quote:
Originally Posted by Steelclaw View Post
That's it... when the Rednames can do this sort of thing better than me it's time to announce my permanent retirement.
But will that announcement be an awesome list?

 

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Void_Huntress
You are now officially my favorite redname.
Seconded. Very funny list, Zwill. Glad to see your still having fun despite all the questions and squabble on the boards.

Global - @El D

Servers - Protector

 

Posted

Quote:
Originally Posted by El__D View Post
Seconded. Very funny list, Zwill. Glad to see your still having fun despite all the questions and squabble on the boards.
Well, the mind is usually the first thing to go. Sense of humour and discretion are much farther down on the list.

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Posted

Quote:
Originally Posted by Zwillinger View Post
The above has all been said tongue in cheek and in a completely joking manner...
I think you need to get your tongue out of Arcanaville's cheek.

Thanks for the laughs.

Edit:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zwillinger View Post
If your mouse has greater processing power than your gfx card, the answer is yes.
There goes my plans for getting a Wacom Cintiq.



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Posted

Quote:
*CTRL+V, CTRL+C* Go on...
Try ctrl+c before ctrl+v you might have better luck Z

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Posted

Quote:
Originally Posted by Snow Globe View Post
I think you need to get your tongue out of Arcanaville's cheek.
...hot!



Character index

 

Posted

Trying way too hard.

 

Posted

A++ would read again.

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Posted

Quote:
Originally Posted by Memphis_Bill View Post
+2.864 internets.
Now we just need to get Zwill to do Ustreams in one of these...

 

Posted

Quote:
Originally Posted by Steelclaw View Post
That's it... when the Rednames can do this sort of thing better than me it's time to announce my permanent retirement.
Nah, you just have to scrap all your old lists and start again changing the rules for your lists to include the possibility that a dev list may wind up appearing in the midst of the list tournament. I'm looking forward to seeing the spreadsheet.

Don't count your weasels before they pop dink!

 

Posted

Quote:
Quote:
16. Has Paragon Studios redefined "player" to require your mouse to subscribe separately from your keyboard?
If your mouse has greater processing power than your gfx card, the answer is yes.
I laughed so much at this one I have to quote it in my sig!

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zwillinger View Post
Quote:
16. Has Paragon Studios redefined "player" to require your mouse to subscribe separately from your keyboard?
If your mouse has greater processing power than your gfx card, the answer is yes.

 

Posted

Is that stipulation about the mouse in relation to the current or former graphic card?

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