Things You Have Screamed At Your Monitor...

... or more specifically things you have screamed at your character, the enemies they are fighting, your so-called team mates, etc.

Here are a few things I've said out loud to my computer screen at one time or another:

* "You SAW the word MISS float out of the top of your head before you even DREW the da**ed blackwand... why did you bother to fire it?!"

* "That's right... I wanted you to jump your squishy self into the middle of a spawn that big and fire off your single target attack... I don't CARE what I accidently pushed... you should KNOW I wanted the PBAOE!"

* "Why did they have to buff hover speed? Now I don't have time to go get a drink... ah, just stay where you are... see if you can spot your house from there."

* "No fair! I call foul! You should have announced you were a Bone Daddy instead of standing there pretending to be a Skull Lt."

* "That's right... Level 20 and back in Atlas Park... you go ahead and pretend you don't see me standing right next to you... go on... do your 'whistle innocently' emote... I dare ya..."

* "You want your kids to grow up just like me? You want your son to wear spandex so tight you can tell what religion he is?"

* "How in the heck do you expect me to be able to heal you fools if you all run split up into different rooms?! And what the he** do you mean by 'our healorz sux'!?! That's it... you're on the list."

* "Oh, she's heard of me.... 'Oh the list guy'... what the heck does THAT mean?"

Things You Have Screamed At Your Monitor...

"Oh no, it's another Steelclaw list!"

Dammit I know that heal fired why did I still die??!

Stop staring at me



edit:

Only louder than these boards will allow me to convey.

While playing my defender on a team with plenty of melee toons.

"Why the hell am I the one taking the alpha?!!?" - I really hate timid tanks and scrappers. Does not seem to be a condition on most brutes however. Some proof below.

Rolled a new toon and was on a lowbie team with several buffs and heals. The brute was running in before the timid scrapper or anyone taking the alpha as he should.

Controller dude - "wow brute dude you are crazy"
me to monitor, HE IS A F...ING BRUTE THAT IS WHAT HE IS SUPPOSED TO DO!! And how is it crazy to trust that a kin, dark and emp will keep you alive?!?.

SCRAPPER WINS!

. . .every time I oneshot a mob with a crit.

Oh, bad things?

GO **** YOURSELF!

. . .every time I see "follow the tank" or "we need heals" or "forming X TF, PST with AT/sets."

When that self heal fires off as I'm defeated: "Oh great. I just healed myself to death."

"Oh no you don't, Brawl. You get to sit there on auto until you proc." (I've got three procs in that power. It has like a 54% chance of SOMETHING firing off)

"As ironic as it is for me to say this, Hasten, hurry up and recharge!"

"Holy crap, someone besides me actually didn't take the Fitness pool!"

"I swear, if he doesn't dismiss those obnoxious demons, I'm gonna convince him to join my team just so I can teleport him directly into Port Oakes."

"Stop animating, let me use insps! Damnit, let me use insps! Please don't hit, please don't hit, please don't h- AAAAAAAH he hit! *hospitals*

The thing I've found myself yelling at my screen the most recently has been along the lines of "Stop ****** missing!!!" and "Hit! Hit! Hit! Hit or you're dead!" For some reason, the game is adamant about giving me 96 and 97 to-hit rolls. Only not when I actually have proof of it. The moment I fired up HeroStats, I suddenly stopped missing altogether. Then when I turned it off, within a day I was back to seemingly intentionally missing my biggest attacks and forcing streakbreaker after streakbreaker.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Arcanaville Samuel_Tow is the only poster that makes me want to punch him in the head more often when I'm agreeing with him than when I'm disagreeing with him.

Taking the alpha on a team....then the team goes the wrong way...

"OMG WHY ARE THEY GOING THAT WAY? CAN'T THEY SEE I'M IN A MOB ALONE HERE?"

All the while typing in team chat, guys over her- *faceplant*

Gotta love it when people don't follow the tank...

@#$@##$ mapserver

Most things I yell at my monitor occur only after such levels of frustration that I have turned into a varitable harpie. The walls turn color, and the sky ripples with lighting as my curses rain down.

Or something like that ...usually it is a judicious WTF.

"Idiot! Why'd you go aggro that guy instead of attacking the guy standing right next to you?" Said to a confused enemy who brought on more trouble than I could handle.

During a Strikeforce we all get facepalmed. We had an Empath on board, but not a single heal from him.
I wasn't even sure he moved, so I go. Dude, why didn't you heal?

And he replies something like

"wwwsssaad33sss44www55ss345swwww"

I was actualyy laughing at the monitor in that moment.

"Go to! I said go to! GO TO MEANS GO THERE AND STAY THERE YOU SONOFARARRHGHRRHAGHTAHRHRAGHR!"

How about....
"What the @##$% are you doing going in *that* direction??? We always go LEFT a@#hole!"
Then promptly realize you actually said that out over Ventrilo!

But your good buddy just laughs and says "Why didn't you follow the tank".
To which another buddy and I both reply.... "Because we are still alive and you're the stupid dip#$% who is dead. Because we always go LEFT!"


OR...

"Hey stupid, why are you dead again way over there alone?" again.. over Ventrilo.
In a mildly annoyed voice... "Because we always go LEFT!" a buddy says.

Another buddy and myself again chime in nearly at once...
"We do except when YOU tell us these characters always go RIGHT dumb#$%!" very amused with ourselves.


We regularly encounter .... amusing and problematic issues with ourselves and our friends. They can be with missing, powers, animation times, stupidity of people... a vast array of 'issues' come up.
For the most part... Ventrilo allows us to share in our anguish and to help administer some just and amusing directions to friends.

The things I've screamed at my monitor would make Rex Ryan blush.

Most often, when I'm on a team where I'm supposed to buff or heal team mates, I'll shout, "Quit runnin' around, &*(^%$&*!" That, and I call a lot of people "hyperactive jerks," particularly when they run around fighting with superspeed on and expect me to keep up with them.

I can tell when I'm enjoying myself, because I'll shout, "Ka-POW!" and, "Take that, evildoer!" when big attacks hit.

On my kin/arch:

*noticing teammate name turning orange*
"Hmmm... someone's getting hit hard, I should heal/buff them"

*searches for distressed teammate*
*teammates reticle shows in another room*

"Oh, I am soooo NOT gonna chase your @ss all over kingdom come! Git yer butt back with the team!"

*teammate dies*
"Hosp it, dumb@ss."

.