I've asked people on teams a couple of times to not use the word r*pe in a positive context - like talking about how the team is "totally r*aping this mission/TF/AV" - it makes a horrible crime seem trivial and humorous, and there are plenty of other words to use that give the same effect without being offensive.
@Golden Girl
City of Heroes comics and artwork
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i too wish painful deaths upon the mentally unsound
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Originally Posted by The_Spartan
People who prey on children deserve to die.
Slowly. Painfully. ...I'll get the blowtorch... |
o_o
Was this that argument I had the unfortunate luck to be close to during that costume contest on Einarr? I certainly hope you reported him for even bringing up the subject.
Since changed Global to @Huatar
Einarr Hildulfr - RP Hero (Main) - 42 Inv/Mace Tanker
Dr. Mechaniok - RP Villain (Main) - 27 Robot/FF Mastermind
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I think that everytime I go to WalMart.
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Originally Posted by Ximmy
Apparently, I just need to get over it...
I just need to get over being a decent human being.... |
If it was me that discovered this, I would have posted the screen shot of the entire conversation on here and called him out publicly. I dont care if he was joking and I dont care if it is against the CoX User agreement. That crap will not be tolerated.
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Usually public confrontations are frowned upon. It would actually make you look worse than you'd think and probably lead to flame wars that would ultimately get nothing done. It's best to be subtle, get right to the point. If someone says something negative, you ask them to stop, if they refuse and carry it on, then you /ignore.
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Originally Posted by BubblegumBomb
If it was me that discovered this, I would have posted the screen shot of the entire conversation on here and called him out publicly. I dont care if he was joking and I dont care if it is against the CoX User agreement. That crap will not be tolerated.
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Rules of Conduct
I believe rules #1, #3 and #4 would apply.
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Don�t say things. What you are stands over you the while, and thunders so that I cannot hear what you say to the contrary. - R.W. Emerson |
YUMMY Low-Hanging Fruit for BASE LUV
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Yup. Saw that exact same broadcast in Cap...although it was two or three years ago for me. Same with the anti-RP'er flaming. It's been with us a while. It'll stay with us, sadly.
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Originally Posted by Smurch
A day or so ago some moron was going off with racist jokes in broadcast in Cap, obviously trolling. And there was some guy insulting RPers only yesterday to try to deliberately offend people.
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Why did you team / stay teamed with a paedophile?
Why didn't you put the people talking about killing children on /ignore?
COH has a few bad people playing it. The best solution is simply to avoid them. You're not obliged to improve their behavior. You're just another player. If you really feel the need to do something then report them. Engaging them in a dialogue is just asking for trouble.
I feel an Osmond moment coming on....
"One bad apple don't spoil the whole bunch girl! Ohhh give me one more try, before you give up on LOVE!"
*does a little dance, drops team, and reports the tool*
My New Rig
: Geforce 580 GTX, Core i7 950 @ 3.20 Ghz, 24GB RAM, 240GB SSD for OS, 60GB SSD for swap = Heaven.
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omgtextwall!!!!
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Originally Posted by ximmy
apparently, i just need to get over it...
I just need to get over being a decent human being.... A few days ago, i am on a team where a member says "statement indicating he is a pedophile?" so i say, "umm, ok, can we please not talk about this? This is inappropriate, and as i have children, i am uncomfortable with this line of conversation." and i get "you need to lighten up. I don't care about your children, and i don't even know where you live, so i couldn't possibly come to your house and do things to your children" so i go, "ok, yes, i see your point, but what you are talking about is unsettling, and i politely request that you stop talking about it, not to mention the fact that what you are talking about is illegal and against the rules for cox." and he says "having sexual desire for children is not illegal, only acting on it is" and i say "ok, but i would really appreciate it if you didn't discuss this kind of atrocities against children in this forum." and he proceeds to tell me how anyone who says "think about the children" makes his head explode, and how anyone who takes offense at comments made by people on the internet are idiots. This conversation went on for way longer than it should have, but i was really trying to understand how he thought it was ok to make those kind of comments and he was only too happy to continue to tell me i was an *****. I took screen shots of the convo, but didn't keep them, since most of the other people on the team kept telling me to "lighten up". Fast forward a bit... So, i am in a costume contest in atlas tonight, and the people are talking about some video game where they get lots of points for killing children. Again, i politely request that they stop talking about killing children, since i am a parent and the subject matter is disturbing to me. Again i get that i need to "lighten up", and that somehow, in their minds, slaughtering children is fine as long as it is in a video game. Like, somehow, as long as it is "virtual", it is totally ok to slaughter and maim and **** children. I don't get this. But, apparently, i am in the minority. Apparently, it is perfectly fine to do horrible, depraved, tortuous things to people, since this is a "game", and if anyone takes offense at the discussion of said atrocities, they just need to "lighten up". Seriously. I don't understand how most people can agree that it is not ok to commit hate crimes against alternative sexualities and persons of color and the like, but somehow, it is perfectly ok to talk about atrocities towards children. I, for one, do not find it acceptable chatter to talk about violence against any person for reasons of race, creed, gender, sexuality, age, religion, or any of the other 'isms......but i find it particularly atrocious when hate and filth is directed towards the sweet, innocent babies. But, apparently, i just need to "get over it", since people are allowed to say whatever they want when on the interwebs. I totally expect this thread to get axed, since it is inflammatory and contains some bad words, but i would really like to get some feedback on it before it does. Am i being too sensitive? Do i really and truly need to "get over it"? Please respond. portions in italics were edited to remove details inappropriate for the coh forums -mod08 |
Ok, so I have to say something else now.
Firstly, thank you all so much for caring to continue to post in this thread. Clearly, you all have opinions on this matter.
Secondly, I think the salient points I have read so far are: (1) Report inappropriate content in accordance with the rules, and (2) Ignore those who choose to be inflammatory and move on
All good points.
The thing is, since I was all raw and parental when I started this thread, I failed to make my MAIN point, the one I mostly intended, which is this:
Although the Interwebs grants a certain level of anonymity, and although we are just here "playing a game", and although virtual does not equal real... PLEASE remember that there is a human being at the other end of the keyboard. And extend courtesy to that person. Being the meanest and the loudest does not make you better, it makes you...well, loud and obnoxious. Starting a flame war or being an **** does not make you cool...it merely illustrates that you are lacking in social skills. And common decency? Can that please become commonplace once more? Seriously.
If someone said to me, in my real life, "Hey. I understand that you have the legal right to sing in public, but your off-key warblings are giving me a headache, would you please desist?" My response would be a very embarassed, but very heartfelt, "of course. Sorry to have put you off." It would not be "I HAVE THE RIGHT TO BE A HORRIBLE SINGER AND TO SPEW MY OFF-KEY AURAL OFFENSES TO THE WORLD! and you are a poo-poo head for not liking it!"
I am coming from a different time and a different place from most of the people I interact with in CoX. This is my first MMO. I have been rping online, in free-form chat rooms, for over 10 years. I met my amazingly wonderful husband in an RP chat room, as a matter of fact, 7 yrs ago. And so I am astounded that apparently, in an MMO, people are allowed to be, well.....chowderheads. Yes, I understand we all have the freedom of speech, here in the states, and I salute that. But.... The two things that I carried forth with me from my required civics class in high school were: (1) Hitchhiking on interstates is illegal due to "limited access" of emergency vehicles, and (2) My right to swing my fist ends at your nose.
I guess what I am trying to say, at a greatly exhausting length, is that...
It is not about your legal right to be an arsehole. It is about my HUMAN right to be treated with respect. It would be a wonderful world if we could meet in the middle with dignity.
I hear what you are all saying, that freedom of speech means people can say whatever they want to say, within legal limits...I just wish that the responsibility for being a decent human being fell on those who perpetrate indignities....and not on those who are victims of them.
All I am trying to say is...just because a person has the legally-protected right to be a jerk......that shoudn't mean I should have to leave an otherwise lovely party to avoid his jerky-ness. Why am -I- the person who has to leave if I am not the only one who has taken offense? Shouldn't the onus be on the public at large to eject the offending person from our ranks? I mean, if I get my knickers in a twist because someone said my dress was ugly, then yes, I should be the one who leaves.... But if someone proclaims, at the top of their lungs, that all (insert a group of people) should be (insert a verb that is violent), shouldn't the host(ess) ask him/her to leave?
Ok, I have said my piece, at great length, and I imagine not many of you have read all the way to the end of this... So, for those of you that have....
PUNCH an' PIE! And cookies! And all manner of confectionaries with zero calories! *grins*
~fin~
I get what you are saying and I agree. When someone works my nerves in MMO's, I never ignore them.. because setting them on ignore will NOT stop them from ignoring me. The only thing worse than hearing a annoying little puke spew out jack-hole statements is not being able to hear it and hearing everyone else snicker about what you DIDN'T hear. That works my nerves even more...
So, yes I agree ignoring may be the default "go-to" in these type of situations... but it should NOT be the "end-all". I guess reporting would work.. but thats also faulty, as it would take quite some time to get results, and like Ximmy said... if this were real life and you said some jack-hole statements, then results are instant... a "three stooges"-esque quick slap to the face.. or a battering ram fist driven to the bridge of the nose. INSTANT results.. and because of these INSTANT results, people don't say these Jack-Holed statements in real life (well.. MOST people dont)
Well, unfortunately.. with the coming of ages and websites like 4chan... "stupid is cool now". Not that I am trying to be a nonconformist emo bot... but I will not conform to the stupidity movement that is sweeping the nation by storm. More and more people are now saying the most craziest stuff I have ever heard! Stuff that would make what was said in the original post look like something they would air on Nick jr.
When all hope seems to have drifted away.. and the shadows of death creep closer. Do not fear or cower.. do not make peace or seek salvation. For I will be there, supporting your movement. So give me your pain, weakness, despair, fear and doubt.. The Light will grant you another stand.
Unfortunately you can't fix stupid.
Quit the team and add the idiots to your global ignore list.
I understand where the OP is coming from, but unfortunately the Major is right - you can frustrate yourself and kill your enjoyment of the game playing Canute, and trying to hold back the sea with just yourself and a broom, or you can /petition it, /ignore it, and move on.
My characters at Virtueverse
Faces of the City
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You're ignoring the Gabriel Effect:|
Originally Posted by Ximmy
And common decency? Can that please become commonplace once more? Seriously.
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http://tinyurl.com/5ve3a
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Originally Posted by eltonio
This is over the top mental slavery.
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You're an internet troll's wet dream.
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Originally Posted by Sin_Salvation
I get what you are saying and I agree. When someone works my nerves in MMO's, I never ignore them.. because setting them on ignore will NOT stop them from ignoring me. The only thing worse than hearing a annoying little puke spew out jack-hole statements is not being able to hear it and hearing everyone else snicker about what you DIDN'T hear. That works my nerves even more...
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Originally Posted by eltonio
This is over the top mental slavery.
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Quoted for truth. Some people just don't behave the same way when they know they can't be punched in the face for it, and there's really nothing any of us can do that will change that. That said, it's not necessarily a bad thing to remember those people who do this stuff, because once in a great while you'll run across them later on down the road and they'll want something from you (mission help, SG membership, to join your TF, etc). When that happens, there's nothing wrong with not giving it to them.
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Originally Posted by Megajoule
I understand where the OP is coming from, but unfortunately the Major is right - you can frustrate yourself and kill your enjoyment of the game playing Canute, and trying to hold back the sea with just yourself and a broom, or you can /petition it, /ignore it, and move on.
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This games descent into madness has largely been a product of a consequence free environment. Its good to see people policing the game because thats the only way its going to happen. Protect that which you value.
That being said, theres something mildly thrilling knowing that there are some seriously seedy and ugly parts of this game. I can't say I would stomach the above conversation either, but there is a certain enjoyability in knowing at least a some of the population of this server are locked up in teams until the wee hours pretending to do things to each other that I dare not describe. It enables me to look moral, ethical, and well adjusted.
We who are about to be disgusted, salute you.
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Well, since you went there......|
Originally Posted by Ximmy
Not to get all terribly emo, or anything, but I am reminded of the oft-quoted ((and likely mis-quoted, please don't inundate me with revisions or whatnot)) Reverend Martin Niemoeller who was quoted to say:
"In Germany, the Nazis first came for the communists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, but I didn't speak up because I was a protestant. Then they came for me, and by that time there was no one left to speak for me." All I am trying to say is...just because a person has the legally-protected right to be a jerk......that shoudn't mean I should have to leave an otherwise lovely party to avoid his jerky-ness. Why am -I- the person who has to leave if I am not the only one who has taken offense? Shouldn't the onus be on the public at large to eject the offending person from our ranks? I mean, if I get my knickers in a twist because someone said my dress was ugly, then yes, I should be the one who leaves.... But if someone proclaims, at the top of their lungs, that all (insert a group of people) should be (insert a verb that is violent), shouldn't the host(ess) ask him/her to leave? |
There are people that are still deeply upset by the Holocaust - so using it trivially about people not saying offensive things to one another in a video game seems like it could come across a bit hypocritical to me. I don't really see how it even applies here, to be honest. Someone was a jerk and you left a group - no one came for you, you could have found another group if you wanted. (If anything -and as long as we're trivializing it, it almost sounds the opposite - first they came for the jerkhole, then they came for the etc etc)
Since that is out of the way now....
Really though - If you want people kicked out of a group for poor behavior, you either need to ask the leader to do so, or lead your own teams. People of varying ages and backgrounds from all over the world play this game, and we shouldn't expect others to share our same sense of decency or tolerance for people acting out. As that is the case, regardless of what /should be/, it happens that we are all responsible for avoiding misantropes, if we so choose.
OMG! You are so right! Please accept my apologies, I would NEVER intentionally trivialize such an enormous tragedy, and it was certainly not my intention to do so by comparing the two. My intention was merely to underscore my point that we are responsible to each other for our actions and to protect each other from tyranny of any sort. I am going to edit my post right now!
Also, I believe you make a valid point that we are responsible for our own well-being. One of my favorite quotes is "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent" (Eleanor Roosevelt). Thank you for your dose of reality check, I think maybe I needed that *shy smile*
Just as a quick point, there's a difference between misanthropy and acting like a jerk. Just because you dislike people as a whole doesn't necessarily mean you'll act on that dislike.
The Elysienne; Magical controller
Silent Sickle; Natural scrapper
And many more.
Aenigma Rebis: "Actually, Ely's more like Jean Grey. Only... smart."
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Originally Posted by Ximmy
OMG! You are so right! Please accept my apologies, I would NEVER intentionally trivialize such an enormous tragedy, and it was certainly not my intention to do so by comparing the two. My intention was merely to underscore my point that we are responsible to each other for our actions and to protect each other from tyranny of any sort. I am going to edit my post right now!
Also, I believe you make a valid point that we are responsible for our own well-being. One of my favorite quotes is "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent" (Eleanor Roosevelt). Thank you for your dose of reality check, I think maybe I needed that *shy smile* |
I wasn't offended personally (and to be honest the Holocaust is almost casually used in similar ways these days....) and doubt that very many others would be.
I just wanted to point out that sometimes we get upset and forget ourselves, and that sometimes we don't realize that we risk upsetting others with our words. It was obvious that you weren't intending to offend anyone, which is likely different that the person you had the misfortune to group with. You would hope that people who are intentionally acting out in such a way would be kicked, but ultimately, it comes down to what we decide to act for our self. I think your Eleanor Roosevelt quote sums up the situation perfectly.
(As pointed out below your post, to an extent, I am guilty of the same. As I was incorrectly using misantrope as a synonym for jerk. Apologies to all you proud misantropes out there.)
Apology accepted, dude.
... Okay, I suck at misanthropy.
The Elysienne; Magical controller
Silent Sickle; Natural scrapper
And many more.
Aenigma Rebis: "Actually, Ely's more like Jean Grey. Only... smart."
1. This is a teen rated game, and discussions regarding pedophilia are not appropriate for maintaining the game's rating. It is up to the community to reinforce this.
2. It is not generally considered acceptable to discuss one's sexual fantasies and fetishes with complete strangers in a social setting. Some thoughts should simply remain thoughts! Furthermore, it's generally considered incredibly rude and boorish to continue discussing a contentious topic once it has been reasonably objected to.
3. By not encouraging socially acceptable behavior, we enable socially unacceptable behavior. I would not want to consider myself responsible for enabling a pedophile.
All kidding aside, I agree 100%.