g-a-y supergroup

I don't think this is an argument any of us can win over an Internet forum. For the record though, I think calling someone "straight acting" is at least as much of a backhand compliment as telling them they are "articulate for a minority." Even if you don't think it's an outright insult it definitely has a value judgment attached to it, which a lot of folks will see as unflattering. Beyond that there are some serious cultural and political nuances that go alongside this issue that run much deeper than we can hope to discuss here.

Although I said that I was offended by the term 'straight-acting', (and I would stand by this), I by no means wanted to get any argument going. I want people to do and say what they want, and I don't want to clamp down on what people can and can't say.

I was just stating my opinion, and everyone else's is just as valid. I find the term 'straight-acting' offensive because it claims that what many straight and gay people normally do as a straight thing, and that the gays who live this way are acting straight. Whether or not it's intended by the speaker, I feel that 'straight acting' implies that to be gay means to be camp. I'm not going to freak out over it or anything, I just find it offensive. Camp, however, is a word that describes a collection of mannerisms. It is far more common among the gay populace, yes, but its name doesn't tie it in with a particular sexuality. This is why I don't find the term 'camp' offensive at all, although I'll be offended if the presumption of gay=camp is made.

Like with my last post, I don't wish to be arguing with anybody. It's just a delicate subject with a considerable amount of people, and we're bound to be offended by all kinds of things. People shouldn't have to duck and step over all the little things that offend others, because with some people the amount they're offended by is ridiculous, but it can't hurt to know what does and what doesn't offend people.

I came to a conclusion a few hours ago with people taking offense to the words I used in the beginning.

They can go to hell.

Remembering where I first learned the term "straight acting" things became clear. Gay guys and Bisexual guys use it in Blind Dating adverts in order to describe the type of man they liked.

So if they're using those words then the nobodies that are the self appointed forum police saying is offensive can just rack off. If it's good for the goose it's good for the gander. I no longer care if it is offensive.

WOW - a conversation that was informative, interesting and thought-provoking has suddenly got a little heated.

Let's please remember that this is in the Forum section "For Fun" and is about a game.

I am one of the oldest (in years) players on COX UK and have seen many phrases/labels used over my 50+ years for woman, black people, gay men etc. Thankfully some of most offensive seem to have passed into history and now seem stupid, ugly and out-dated.

I am a gay man - but I am also Welsh, British, male, a partner, blonde, blue eyed etc.... I do not put these into any kind of order as I am all these things and many more. I do not belong to any one "community" or even think that a sexual preference creates a community.

COX is a community I am happy to belong to as it seems to have have underlying shared values of friendship, maturity and respect.

Each of us will have our own, sometimes strongly-held views, but as long as you don't attack me then I am happy to live and let live.

I do not like the term straight-acting but know many gay man who use that term. Am I bothered by it? Not one little bit. They can wear a wig and call themselves Dolly Parton if they want to (and I know a few that do).

Yesterday I heard a guy on a team says his "Bird was makign tea". When I told him he had a very well trained parrot it seems to go over his head. But an ITF was not the time or place to challenge him over a term I personally do not like. Neither is this forum.

So back to the original question "are there any Gay SGs". Very few and probably with almost no members. But unlike many othere MMOs there are inumerable SGs in COX that will make you feel more than welcome.

Now where did I put that blonde wig

I have strong opinions on the subjects contained within this thread, but I will be a good boy and keep them to myself.

"Doesn't act with the stereotypical mannerisms attributed to the sexuality of their choice."

Works for all of them! Straight, gay, bi, semi-skinned, Jersey. Can be shortened to 'They're not stereotypically <sexuality>', and it can be expanded to gender, fandom and so forth.

We all know there's stereotypes. They're there for a reason, as in, it's a natural part of the brain's way of ordering and classifying and grouping things, a schema if you will. The media's taken it and ran with it, which thus makes things that break from stereotype all the more exciting to report or show, but that's an issue with media, not the mind.

Ask people what a stereotypical straight guy is, you'll probably hear the words pub, football and tough. Stereotypically gay? Effeminate, talks in a certain mannerism, fashionable. Or for your lady, butch, manly, short hair.

So it's not a case of saying "You don't act straight." or "You don't act gay." That sounds more like an accusation. Along the lines of "This doesn't look like your car." Said by a traffic police officer on a motorway to the guy in the pink hairdresser mobile.

"You don't seem stereotypically <sexuality>." It's acknowledging the presence of the stereotype and how they are not associated with the stereotype. It's fine to be like the stereotype, really, knock yourselves out. Just like it's fine to be -not- like the stereotype. Great!

It's not perfect, it's probably not really needed, but it'll come up, and that's probably the best most brains can handle.

At least until we wire in microprocessors to our skulls.