Mission Arc Critiquing Thread


Adelie

 

Posted

I did feedback on someone else's arc a few pages back and that means someone owes me a playthrough of mine! It's still sitting at zero ratings after being up for several days, and this is making me sad.

Arc Name: The Unmaking, Part 1: Entropic Ascension (yes, it's a long name)
Arc ID: 46405
Faction: Heroic
Creator Global/Forum Name: @Ocyron/Juunana
Difficulty Level: Soloable (recommended level range is 36+)
Synopsis: The Banished Pantheon have unleashed an entity that threatens to throw Paragon City into a darkness from which it may never recover. Can you stop this threat before its corruption consumes the city?
Estimated Time to Play: 45 minutes to an hour perhaps?


 

Posted

Once again people are posting arcs without doing the requisite review first, and more annoyingly people are breaking the rule also by reviewing those arcs. This thread is turning into a spam-fest and leading to those playing by the rules getting buried.


 

Posted

REVIEW

I’m a level 16 Scrapper, Dark Melee/Regeneration, set on Tenacious.

Mission 1

Liked the mission introduction, it was in-depth and described the issue well, but despite the fact that I am no one to talk, I found the presence of your Global name in the story to be a bit off-putting, particularly the accented letters. Contact’s design was nicely done, but the cigar struck me as odd. Clicked on the entrance, went inside of a small empty base. Found a computer with Airhead’s file on it.

“Singlehandedly embezzled the company of”

I think you meant “Single handedly embezzled the company out of” but I could be wrong, I'm not the best English speaker, especially considering I don't speak any other languages.

Found a few patrol guards in the hall, defeated them with ease, broke a lever that had spawned in the hall. Airhead and two Leut Ratters spawned in response, I went to fight them and got beat down hard in just a few seconds, used an Awaken and tried again. Mission Complete.


Mission 2


Nice use of the word “arcology” and another good mission introduction, entered the mission and a five-man patty greeted me, no dialogue though. I think the map is one of the orange hotels, not a huge fan of them because of the numerous random dead-end stairwells but it fits. Wander around until I reach the second level, no more plot progression so far. Boss “Matron Holicapo” stares at me from down the hall, Matron is a feminine term, so I’m gonna assume that it’s a she despite the Huge body type. Matron hits me once, gets me to half, so I try to run but I’m stunned so I get hit a second time and decide to lay down for a while. Wake up a little while later in the hospital and make my way back. I get back, stealth and decide to find out if she’s a required fight. I see two nice destructable objects with good bios once I pass her by, a definite plus. I find the third floor elevator and pop on up. I find a box quickly and get his records from it, nicely written. Mission Complete

But I wasn’t quite sure why the mission ended or why I should go to the clinic, I thought I was finding Airhead to save him from Rat Race? How did his records qualify as him? Why assume that a mentally handicapped child would know enough to go to the clinic where he was born? Why assume he had run away if that was indeed what I was doing? Why not check with Penelope Yin?


Mission 3


The day job joke was a good one, but the space was kind of wasted on the offer, although, understandably since Rat Race didn’t have anything to do with the mission, but that is the problem with the current contact system, so it’s acceptable. Entered the mission, I was instantly attacked by five Void Hunters and three Medics on account of the hunters being a patty, stepped outside the room, healed up then went back in, the hunters had wandered off and I was left with the three medics. The medics were tough as nails to defeat on account of them endlessly healing each other, I got one down when the patty came back so I stepped outside again, healed up and stealthed. As a side note, the sheer number of patties was a bit off-putting.

I got to the third floor and hacked two terminals, both getting me in trouble. Another quick trip to the hospital and then I rushed back up to the third floor, found a middle-aged nurse this time. She’s got three on her but she’s wedged next to the path of a Medic patty.

Got the nurse’s number, apparently I’m a horn dog and didn’t know it. I rush down the three floors to the lobby and find the orphan in the middle of them. There’s roughly thirty odd thugs surrounding him and I suddenly regret my choice of stealth.

I start clearing them out, it’s slow going but nice XP. I get him free eventually and escort him the two feet towards the door, he screams something about his parents as he charges off into the depths of the laboratory, was that intentional? It was strangely comical. New clue as Mission Complete dings.


Mission 4

Nice mission text again, still voicing Rat Race’s character well. Typo in popup box, I think, it mentions “victim of” when I think it means “victims” but I may be wrong. Great text otherwise though, nicely done.

Freed Airhead, simple enough. Found a landmine, I can’t attack it, says invalid target and it’s not a glowie, I think it might be a problem later. Got defeated by a group of Ratters. Quick trip back, I accidentally stumble across one of his parent’s, I’ll have to fight Ratters to save her though so I contemplate just leaving her there and teaching Airhead to live off the metal barrels of the land. Decided to try to free her so I could escape and never see another rat again, got defeated again. I decide to buy five respites and five Rages from the inspiration vender so I can make it through. I found another landmine, I could attack this one. I have to say, the fact that it isn’t related to the mission and the clue associated with it are just fantastic, it always seems like a missed opportunity in Heroic missions when there’s the potential to do good within the storyline, but no mission related option to actually do it.

Found Pha, an elite boss, he was guarded by four Leut Ancestral Spirits, I think I honestly got one-shotted. It’s a quick defeat and a quick run back. He’s right by the entrance, so it’s not a problem. I lure one Leut away, smack him down quickly then pick up another. Two of four down. Wandered too close, beat down again. I’m beginning to feel bad about myself at this point. I constantly play on Tenacious without issue, and this arc I’ve just been bad. I walk back in, get all three again, back to the hospital. I think the nurse flirted with me, sure, it’s a desk but it’s got curves. I run back in, anger all three but escape to try again. I try again.

You’ll never guess what happened next.

That’s right, me and the desk ran away to Taco Bell, I never wanted to see another rat again that hadn’t been properly cooked. We’ve got adorably newly born chairs and I’ve been retired since then.

Okay, not really, she’s barren and it isn’t funny. I went and bought 8 Sturdy. I charged in, activated them and killed both Leuts then died horribly when they wore off. Imagine my embarrassment when I had to explain to my two imaginary chairs that we weren’t going to have enough money to feed the hogs, and them ones that got the fever, well, thems had to be separated then shot. My head hung low and my debt at a record high, I had one last plan. He didn’t agree to leave if I did the protest emote, so I was planless and dead again.

I bought 8 Rages and, I was quite happy to get him to half before he sent me back to Taco Bell.

I tried it again and I didn’t even punch him this time. I think he’s laughing at me now.

Did I say Taco Bell? Make that Taco Hell! She won’t stop complaining about how much time I spend with Pha! She just doesn’t understand me! I caught one of the chairs listening to Deathcab For Cutie. I didn’t know what it was and I related to the music, does that make me emo? I don’t understand anything any more, I sent the chair to go live with the Lost so he could learn some responsibility.


I bought a bunch of random of random ones now, I have to kill this man, he’s insulted my invading country skills for the last time.

I entered the mission and then minimized it when a thought occurred to me, a pat of rats beat me to death.

A pat of rats? Am I still making sentences? Oozy rats in a sanitary zoo?


This is impossible for me, I give up.


End Of Arc

Individual Sections on a scale of 1 to 9, with 9 being the best and 1 being the lowest.

Characters: 6\9

You seemed to have a nice grasp on the voices of both leads, and Pha was a nice if slightly plain villain.

Character Design: 7/9

The designs of Rat Race and Airhead were quite nice.

Enemies: 6\9

I didn't really enjoy fighting the Ranged Ratters, but that may have just been my AT, and both types seemed a bit strong, but again, that may have just been me, and it is a fault with the AE that most custom characters are overpowered by nature, regardless of powersets.

Enemy Design: 5\9

Given the lack of beastly elements to use, I think the Ratters were fairly effective, if a bit generic, but it's hard to find elements that work together with those beastly elements.

Plot: 8/9

Although the transition between two and three were a bit haggard in my opinion, it was very nicely written and lacking in language errors for the most part.

Missions: 7/9

I really cannot mention enough how great the idea behind the secondary objective in mission four was, and I really suggest that other authors take note of it. I have played a lot of missions, and even other games where in the middle of a war-zone or slave ring, you're forced to stay focused on the objective and unable to do anything to help the people that aren't in the description of your mission.


I really enjoyed it and I rated it 4 out of 5 stars. I didn't take points off based off any of the difficulties I faced, since most likely they were my fault. Albeit without experiencing the fifth mission, I can't really make any suggestions for improving it beyond smoothing out the transition between two and three.


 

Posted

In keeping with the spirit of the thread, I'll review the one that was posted above my request for feedback.

[ QUOTE ]
Now then...I would LOVE it if someone could give me a review of my arc. It's arc #46405; The Unmaking, Part 1: Entropic Ascension. Depending on what kind of feedback I get (if I get any), I have some ideas in mind for a part 2 and possibly a part 3. Feedback on the story, the difficulty...basically anything and everything! I designed it to be soloable, so if it's too tough in a spot I'd like to know. I've got zero ratings on it right now which is making me sad!

[/ QUOTE ]

Ran this arc solo with a Inv/SS tanker on Rugged. It was very playable, and I think it would ramp up well with a team. I liked the custom group very much, nice look to all the members and good descriptions, they really rounded out the organization and made it feel real. Great backstory to the group as well.

The ending was intriguing, it left me wanting to play Part 2 to see what happens. Nice job of immersing the player character in the story.

I ran into one problem with a member of a Boss mob somehow hiding behind a tree. Took me awhile to find it, but that's the hazard of using an outdoor map I guess. No biggie. I didn't notice any typos but I wasn't really looking for them.

Well written and a clear story, very nice job!

And now I'll shamelessly plug mine again:
Sidekicks Can Be A Pain In The Cape
Arc ID #28430
Got a Boss with psionics and a tough AV at the end. Arachnos, Crey, and a Custom group. I've soloed it with the same tanker I used above, and run it with a large and a small team and so far it seems to hold up.


 

Posted

Deathbug was the last person that followed the rules. So playing his arc now. Everyone else gets skipped.
Sidekicks Can Be A Pain In The Cape
Arc ID #28430


Comments here. If anyone else feels like reviewing please move to mine while I finish Deathbugs'

Ran it with a level 40 Fire/SR scrapper, on difficulty: 1, solo.

Mission 1
Intro: Good dialogue. Very mom'ishy. I approve.
Mission Dialogue: Fair. No complaints.
Mission Structure: Arachnos. Nothing too scary.
Misc: Kyle went all berserk on me got himself killed real fast. Mom was not happy, but he's an elec blaster, so he should be getting used to death early on. No Clues given. I like clues as storytelling devices for those that want extra info. Still, arc still starting, so into is fine.

Mission 2
Intro: Again, good. Captured well the mommy feeling.
Mission Dialogue: Not much here.
Mission Structure: Nice mission setting. Warehouse, but not the standard one.
Misc: Not much happened here. Just get a glowie that says where boy-wonder went to. Clue is informative. I feel the first two missions could be condensed easily into one for a more denser, informative mission, instead of two content-light ones. As of now, not much has happened. Might want to elaborate on each one for more background info, or merge them.

Mission 3
Intro: Standard mom dialogue. Not so sure about popping one for her. This mom doesn't seem the type to say that. I feel she'd be more concerned with the kid's safety than revenge.
Mission Dialogue: Standard fair.
Mission Structure: Creys, started out as greens and ramped up slowly. I like it. I play MA for story, not challenge.
Misc: Nora was an lt. easy dispatch. Dialogue was ok. Building for something. This mission finally hit pay dirt on the plot and it's getting interesting.

Mission 4
Intro: As everything before, solid.
Mission Dialogue: Basic golden-agey hero stuff.
Mission Structure: Full of custom kiddie heroes. Not sure about the file size you have, but I'd try making a few more custom minion / lts for it for variety's sake. Also, they all pretty pretty costumes, not the thing I'd think Crey/Aeon would come up with, even for poser-heroes.
Misc: EB was not hard. A bit runny though. My 'assistant' was an lt. Didn't managed to get killed in the process, but I question his hero credentials.

Overall It was a standard mission of science roguing the innocent. I would have liked a twist ending, or something more dramatic, but then again, I like twisty sickey things.

The part when they rebel against Aeon and go rogue on the ones that rogued them is also standard science screws up theme. It works, but I'd recommend thinking what has been done, and taking it one notch up, instead of sticking to what's been done.

As it stands, it captures the whole hero saves the day everyone is happy vibe. I still think the first two missions could be tightened up. They feel like filler made longer for the sake of length.

I'd recommend adding a mission where we get to see what Killerwatt has done. Let him wreak some havoc somewhere. I.E. condense mission one and two into one, and add a new mission three where K.W. trashes the place.


- - - - - -

My arc:
A.E. - Heroes Roleplaying Wizards and Warriors
Arc ID: 59637 @Tormentoso

Should be soloable by most ATs, just 3 missions.

My arc:



 

Posted

Ran through Sidekicks Can Be a Pain. on a level 37 Robotics/Force Field mastermind on Relentless.

Got all the way to the end, quit at the AV fight out of frustration. I'm not sure if there's a particular need to make him an AV. It seems like he could do his job as an Elite Boss. The ally isn't helpful either, since the AV was prone to running all over the place, and given that the AV can fly and the ally can't I had to run back a lot to pick him up. Especially when the AV jumped onto the buildings out of range.

The AV wasn't particularly threatening. Too busy running to actually do any serious damage to anything. I got him to half health and just spent about thirty minutes of following him around Galaxy City, dealing with all the enemies he pulled, grumbling and picking up the ally (Which was ultimately worthless anyways since he did so little damage to the AV), before finally giving up. Check to see if the AV is set to constantly run around, and either set him to an Elite Boss or make the ally an Elite Boss so he can be useful. If you can't keep the end boss from running, make the ally fly so he can at least keep up.

Really, that's my biggest complaint. The name Kyle Kousins grates on my nerves, but I get the feeling that was part of the intention. I can see the robotics mastermind Lt.s being very infuriating for, say, dominators or controllers but they didn't bother me. I liked the grav dom/radiation lt.s and the costume designs were amusingly corny.

The storyline as a whole felt like some sort of saturday morning cartoon, which I actually rather enjoyed. I would have liked to see the custom group come in the third mission as a patrol or something.

Rated three stars over the Arch Villain issue. It's just too frustrating to run around the place for a half hour without really putting a dent in him.

----

Finished Mission 1. Haven't fought the Tuatha much before. Bres healing surprised me. I liked the spanish Bres and the metro one. Bres Jr. wasn't particularly interesting, and given that there's a ton of bosses in a small cave map you could consider dropping him and maybe the hungry Bres.

Also, The Green Mane says being pretty doesn't make him a patsy, and I'm gonna guess you were aiming for pansy. The only other suggestions I have is giving them individual descriptions and maybe changing their mission goals to "Skin the <blank>" instead of just their names.

Finished the second mission. Same thing as the first, consider some individual descriptions and messing with the boss objectives. The Bres of Sharp Fang's dialogue was all right. I liked the text box upon entering. Other than that, the Bag of Teeth clue has a type. "A bbag of recently pulled teeth" as opposed to just bag.

Jaeos's description and Warrior Canovanas's dialogue are both a little awkward. Did like the mission description though, felt like something Aeon would do for amusement. Bres the Second goes by very quickly with all the heroes. Maybe consider downgrading the heroes and making Bres an elite boss? Or, with all the allies, consider popping him up to Arch Villain?

Rated it four stars since the issues were minor at best.

----

And, for more good old shameless plugging,

Arc ID #78013
Cadence
Five missions, mostly medium sized with an ending long one. Elite Boss at the end.


 

Posted

Thanks RoadsideWolf, this is an awesome review! By writing as train-of-thought, I can see where and why things might not have made sense. It is taking some major editing to update it (changing the toon's name in 78 different places...) but I hope to address everything. I'll update later in my feedback thread linked in my sig.

Again, really awesome review. Thanks so much.



Arc: 379017: Outbroken See all your old friends in the Outbreak Tutorial sequel!
Arc: Coming Soon: The Incarnate Shadow Shard of Fire and Ice Mender Rednem needs you!
Massively.com opinion poll: Please Help Save CoH!

 

Posted

[ QUOTE ]
I did feedback on someone else's arc a few pages back and that means someone owes me a playthrough of mine! It's still sitting at zero ratings after being up for several days, and this is making me sad.

Arc Name: The Unmaking, Part 1: Entropic Ascension (yes, it's a long name)
Arc ID: 46405
Faction: Heroic
Creator Global/Forum Name: @Ocyron/Juunana
Difficulty Level: Soloable (recommended level range is 36+)
Synopsis: The Banished Pantheon have unleashed an entity that threatens to throw Paragon City into a darkness from which it may never recover. Can you stop this threat before its corruption consumes the city?
Estimated Time to Play: 45 minutes to an hour perhaps?

[/ QUOTE ]

great story and it left me hanging for more. excellent story line and nice character creation. i ran your arc with a 47 mace/shield tank on heroic. no problems with typos, it looked cleahed up. one patrol in the last missihn had $name in the dialogue. the fihnal ally did nothing to help and did not move until all were killed. i am not sure if this is what you were intending, since she was way in the back. othnerwise it might be a setting.

i really like the part where you can save citizens, while not a requirement it off balances the fact that you have to combat the police. one problem that i encountered is that i killed one of the bad captains and somehow missed the attached minion. after searchning around the map fruitlessly i resorted to killing minions until i randomly killed the correct minion. you might change it so it is the task is complete with boss kill.

otherwise no real problems. nice level of detail and character costumes. the time that i lost the contact as an ally made me laugh when he called me an imbecile. great job!



please try out my missions and give me some feedback. my welcome to dohnut world arc is the one that i am serious about. i have gotten some complaints that some of the minions are too hard ahnd i have tried to adjust, but i think people are not really trying hard enough. they are generally set on standard, even the LT's that everyone hates are set on standard... it is a bood story and some are there to create tension and make you paranoid. i will not nerf some, but i am willing to listen to feedback. i know it stillneeds some detail and i will work on it soon. whatever you can give me will ge greatly appreciated. thank you.


global: ridiculous girl
Hero Therapy! (TM) - 119228
welcome to donut world - 1233

 

Posted

[ QUOTE ]
Deathbug was the last person that followed the rules. So playing his arc now. Everyone else gets skipped.
Sidekicks Can Be A Pain In The Cape
Arc ID #28430



[/ QUOTE ]
Great suggestions, thank you. This thing has been a tweak-fest. That "pop her one for me" line was just added last night, so it will be gone today.

My file size is near maximum already, I'll see what combining the first two mishes does for that.

Glad to hear the AV/EB wasn't too hard. Not sure why he's running. That happened during one of my test runs too, but none of the others. He's not supposed to run at all so I don't know what's up with that. Also I've had trouble with the Ally just standing there watching the fight. Seeing as he's set on Aggressive, I don't know what's going on there either. Has anybody else seen the same behavior in their arcs?

Again, thanks very much for your feedback! Very helpful!


 

Posted

[ QUOTE ]

please try out my missions and give me some feedback. my welcome to dohnut world arc is the one that i am serious about. i have gotten some complaints that some of the minions are too hard ahnd i have tried to adjust, but i think people are not really trying hard enough. they are generally set on standard, even the LT's that everyone hates are set on standard... it is a bood story and some are there to create tension and make you paranoid. i will not nerf some, but i am willing to listen to feedback. i know it stillneeds some detail and i will work on it soon. whatever you can give me will ge greatly appreciated. thank you.

[/ QUOTE ]

welcome to donut world
Arc ID: 1233

Mission 1
I'm somewhat of a completist when I go through stuff, so some things bother me that others will never see. Like info on custom characters, Dime Bag had info but none of the others did.
The dialog when you rescue Dime Bag scrolls very quickly. Sometimes that is the nature of it, but sometimes you can get control. It's worth looking into.
Also, the dialog, clue and debriefing sort of repeat each other. You could definitely clip it down.

Mission 2
"muchless" is two words. Entry popup in mission doesn't really sync up to what Ms. Liberty actually said.
Also, since Dime Bag doesn't say what is being looked for, it's strange that we know what it is when we find it. You could probably just say you're looking for something that resembles a marble.
Debriefing, You need to explain why Dime bag doesn't trust us, and there could be any number of reasons, but it would help the character and narative if you gave a reason.

Mission 3
The voice through Ms. Liberty is a nice touch, don't know if you need all caps there.
His "meticulous hand writing" seems like a call back but don't remember it being referenced before.
Debriefing, "They are pulling all the stops and who knows what they will do to stop him...", too many "stop"s.

Mission 4
"SHE IS TO APPROACH AND ENGAGED...", fix this grammar.
The twist with Dime Bag is a bit daring, might put some people off but I think it works.

Mission 5
As I mentioned, the defeat all aspect doesn't really fit with the fact that defeating the AV should shut down the rest of the bad guys.
Debriefing, the donut world revelation seemed nonsequitur to the rest of the arc, except that the name is in the title. If it played into the story more it would make more sense.

Overall: It needs to be tightened up. The villains are difficult, but I didn't have too hard a time of it. Of course, I'm 50 playing heroic so I might have an edge over the more casual player. The look was ok; since you're going for normally dressed women it works well, but it does look rather plain. Perhaps the EB or bosses could look more part-robot part-human, just something to consider.

I hope this was helpful.

Now, if anyone would like to try my arc and comment on it, I would greatly appreciate it.
Super Science Invasion
Arc ID:9691
Missions:5
Description:Legendary arbiter Stanley Kirby has come out of retirement for one last assingment.
Info: Plenty of EBs in this one, I wouldn't solo unless you're ready for that kind of fight.

-Galth


 

Posted

[ QUOTE ]
Tormentoso:
My arc:
A.E. - Heroes Roleplaying Wizards and Warriors
Arc ID: 59637 @Tormentoso

Should be soloable by most ATs, just 3 missions.


[/ QUOTE ]

Overall, this arc wasn't bad. It wasn't really stellar, however; and the first two missions felt like they should be in reverse order (the second mission being a much shorter version of the first mission).

The final mission was handicapped by the agro-magnets (F&F playing D&D is a funny idea, I do admit--but they're the reason your score suffers). The spawns in the last mission also don't really require the assistance of four helpers, so the arc has an odd feeling of becoming less difficult as the arc progresses. That's not a bad thing, but it does hurt the sense of 'danger' that the last mission's text implies should be there.

Overall, a solid 3.5 (rounded up to 4, from me).

Mission 1: I'm glad I played this on a villain, honestly. The first mission's in-mission dialogue creates too much sympathy for the monsters for most of my heroes. You did a good job playing up that it's a 'virtual' mission, but in-mission the mobs seem too self-aware for that. The Spanish-speaking boss is a nice touch, although I'm afraid I didn't understand a word he was saying.

Mission 2: Like mission 1--but shorter. Much, much shorter. A good, quick little mission, but it felt like this should've been mission 1 (to give people a taste for the arc and to prepare them for the big mission you used for mission 1).

Mission 3: I don't mind Faultline and Fusionette... under normal circumstances. However, in a tight cave fighting things that don't resist knockback, they turn into Agro Magnets. Fortunately, this mission's also short and easy enough that they don't cause much trouble. The "bugged mission" intro was pretty nifty--but you may want to include a few custom "bugged" monster mobs to increase the difficulty of this one enough that it feels like a final mission.

Ran on a level 50 Stone Melee/Electric Armor brute, on difficulty level 4.



[ QUOTE ]
Super Science Invasion
Arc ID:9691
Missions:5
Description:Legendary arbiter Stanley Kirby has come out of retirement for one last assingment.
Info: Plenty of EBs in this one, I wouldn't solo unless you're ready for that kind of fight.

-Galth

[/ QUOTE ]

This arc was very long, but quite good. The Super Scientists were varied and well-characterized enough that it felt like fighting the classic Avengers without involving the actual Avengers. I imagine some powersets would have difficulty with most of them; but they spread out the damage types enough that they'll be moderately challenging for most players.

I'd do a mission by mission analysis, but the missions were so long I honestly don't remember much about the first few. I still can't figure out how Insecti-girl escaped (was Arbiter Kirbey foolish enough to send her to the negotiations?); but other then that it's a well-planned arc that's well written, and aside from the relatively boring Longbow, was quite fun as well. 5/5!






If anyone would like to run my arc, I would appreciate it!
Nemesis vs Napoleon: Time Travel Trouble!
Arc Id: 85878
Description: When Nemesis dupes the 5th Column into sending him back to the 1800s to stop Napoleon, it's up to you and a rogue Nemesis Automaton to save Napoleon and keep history on-track. But can you really trust a Nemesis Automaton?
Details: 3 missions of moderate length, one elite boss at the end who shouldn't be too difficult (for the most part). He may be on top of a mountain, however.


 

Posted

[ QUOTE ]
Ran through Sidekicks Can Be a Pain. on a level 37 Robotics/Force Field mastermind on Relentless.

Got all the way to the end, quit at the AV fight out of frustration. I'm not sure if there's a particular need to make him an AV.

[/ QUOTE ]
Well the story portrays him as having a huge potential for massive power, and I wanted to reflect that. I've been worried about making him too hard for solos/small groups and too easy for large ones.

[ QUOTE ]
The ally isn't helpful either, since the AV was prone to running all over the place, and given that the AV can fly and the ally can't I had to run back a lot to pick him up. Especially when the AV jumped onto the buildings out of range.

[/ QUOTE ]

You're the second person to report the AV running around. I don't get that, he's not supposed to run at all. And I've not seen him run in any of my test runs. Maybe dropping him to an EB will make a difference. I'll try that.


[ QUOTE ]
Really, that's my biggest complaint. The name Kyle Kousins grates on my nerves, but I get the feeling that was part of the intention.

[/ QUOTE ]

Indeed! I wanted that classic Stan Lee alliteration, and I wanted him to be annoying. Seeing as how he only appears as an annoying teen in the first mish I thought the name would help convey that feeling.

[ QUOTE ]
The storyline as a whole felt like some sort of saturday morning cartoon, which I actually rather enjoyed. I would have liked to see the custom group come in the third mission as a patrol or something.

[/ QUOTE ]
That was the intended feel. And after the first review I received I've re-written it. Combined the first two mishes into one, and added the custom group as the main group in Mish 3.

[ QUOTE ]
Rated three stars over the Arch Villain issue. It's just too frustrating to run around the place for a half hour without really putting a dent in him.

[/ QUOTE ]
Ack! And I don't have him set to run...I'll check into this.

Thank you for taking the time to run it and do the write-up. Your suggestions and feedback are very helpful!


 

Posted

[ QUOTE ]
You're the second person to report the AV running around. I don't get that, he's not supposed to run at all. And I've not seen him run in any of my test runs. Maybe dropping him to an EB will make a difference. I'll try that.

Ack! And I don't have him set to run...I'll check into this.


[/ QUOTE ]

Check the powersets. If he's got a self-phase, or an "Only affecting self" power (Forcefield Bubble), the mob AI will wig out while it's up (The "I can't hit you with any powers, so I'm going to run" clause in the mob AI). I don't know if this is what's going on--but it is something to watch out for.


 

Posted

Have not had time to test any yet beyond a few friends (BTW, run the Tanker Tuesday arc if you can) but I did just post my first arc last night, # 72338. Plan on testing this threads arcs tonight when I have time.


 

Posted

[ QUOTE ]
Now, if anyone would like to try my arc and comment on it, I would greatly appreciate it.
Super Science Invasion
Arc ID:9691
Missions:5
Description:Legendary arbiter Stanley Kirby has come out of retirement for one last assingment.
Info: Plenty of EBs in this one, I wouldn't solo unless you're ready for that kind of fight.

-Galth

[/ QUOTE ]
Just did it. Good stuff if you ask me. Interesting story. I liked your cast of characters. I have a deep hatred for Longbow but my Scrapper seems to eat them for lunch. Bummed me out when I failed the 2nd mish when Insecti-Girl got away. I tried to keep knocking her down but she got to the elevator with a sliver of health.

It got dicey in the last mish when I ran out of insp. I was too lazy to step outside so I plodded onward and taught them the meaning of the word respect. (or maybe it was dictaphone) I was only on lvl 3 diff so they were red EBs. Hard without making me curse.

I say thumbs up!

edit: oh...this bit of dialog showed up at one point and I made a note of it: [ QUOTE ]
Dr. Wasp: Hmmm... if these calculations are correct I won't even need any salvage. <br><br> This cube will change everything.

[/ QUOTE ]

Not sure why the "<br> were in there.


 

Posted

I have an arc that I really would like some outside opinions on. I have had a bunch of in game friends run it and they all enjoyed it greatly. I have 7 reviews and all were 5 stars. The problem with people rating something that you know, if they thought it was average they may give you 5 stars just to be your bud. The arc in question is a conspiracy type arc, with a variety of bosses and foes in the mission's. It is 4 missions and shouldn't take more than 1 1/2 hours tops. What I am hoping to get critiqued more than anything is the writing and NPC dialogue in the missions. If you think the story adds up etc. I would love to hear from anyone that I can, and any and all criticisms are welcomed.

Arc #25911
So you want to join the Agency?

This arc actually references Warburg(Marshal Blitz and his Rogue Arachnos) as well as some other groups and past Rikti invasions.


 

Posted

Now, if anyone would like to try my arc and comment on it, I would greatly appreciate it.
Super Science Invasion
Arc ID:9691
Missions:5
Description:Legendary arbiter Stanley Kirby has come out of retirement for one last assingment.
Info: Plenty of EBs in this one, I wouldn't solo unless you're ready for that kind of fight.

-Galth


Did this arc, not bad, I agree the cast of characters were pretty good. I enjoyed the storyline. I did solo the arc, and actually unlike some I have tried recently found it possible. Was tough at times. But I have gone into some where I am solo and I spawn AV's on lvl 3. I have also seen way too many that have impossible AV's. Good job on the difficulty.


 

Posted

[ QUOTE ]
I have an arc that I really would like some outside opinions on. I have had a bunch of in game friends run it and they all enjoyed it greatly. I have 7 reviews and all were 5 stars. The problem with people rating something that you know, if they thought it was average they may give you 5 stars just to be your bud. The arc in question is a conspiracy type arc, with a variety of bosses and foes in the mission's. It is 4 missions and shouldn't take more than 1 1/2 hours tops. What I am hoping to get critiqued more than anything is the writing and NPC dialogue in the missions. If you think the story adds up etc. I would love to hear from anyone that I can, and any and all criticisms are welcomed.

Arc #25911
So you want to join the Agency?

This arc actually references Warburg(Marshal Blitz and his Rogue Arachnos) as well as some other groups and past Rikti invasions.

[/ QUOTE ]

Ok so, I tried this arc. Note, I tried. I was unable to get past the AV, of course, as I was solo. And as would be expected I could find no one to join to help me out so...I had to abandon the arc. :/

I enjoyed playing up till that point, but I didn't rate it b/c I don't want to rate something that I didn't finish.

Suggestions and Feedback:
The story (what I was able to play of it) seems like it has a good deal of potential. That's not to say that it's NOT good at present, it's just that it seems pretty vague. There are a lot of obscurities and some things that could use a bit of explanation or just more background. Example: before the 3rd mission, once you've actually been welcomed into "The Agency", there's still no real description on what it is or what purpose it serves. And I couldn't find the connection between why the first agent was called agent Honda, and the second one (Clipper) was called agent Toyota?

The NPC dialogue is cool, but vague, attributing to the obscurity I mentioned.

Anyway, I hope you found my suggestions constructive. The story seems cool but could just use a bit of elaboration.
I will attempt to complete again if I can find a proper team to join me for the AV fight.


I'd like to invite anyone who is interested to give my arc a try as well.

The Will of the Core Matron (Chapter 1)
ARC ID: 72779
Consists of 4 missions, is soloable (though I recommend lower difficulty if you're a squishy), and is lv 40 minimum.
MORALITY: Heroic
DESCRIPTION: He is known only as The Soul of the Machine; a mysterious technological marvel who emerged seemingly from nowhere, taking up arms against the ruthless villains that plague Paragon City. But even Paragon's finest cannot stand alone, and The Soul of the Machine requires your aid.

Any critiquing / criticism welcome as long as it is constructive. It was not particularly hard when I solo'd it on my 50 scrapper, on Invincible. I was just looking to make it fun really, with an engaging story. I used almost all available text capacity...lol...so please, be sure to take the time to read the clues and such.


 

Posted

Thanks for checkin it out. Unfortunately the vague aspects of the first few missions were done on purpose. It all ties back into the 4th and final mission. It explains everything you see before that. Sad part is I didn't want the mission 3 boss to be an AV, but I wanted a Council Boss. Oh well I went back and actually edited it and Created a new boss, same name and general appearance and she will spawn as an EB now instead. Only one issue, the last mission does have an AV in it, and that one is unavoidable. If you get there you will understand completely why as well. Mind you if you play on challenge lvl 4 or lower solo they do spawn as an EB.


 

Posted

[ QUOTE ]
The Will of the Core Matron (Chapter 1)
ARC ID: 72779
Consists of 4 missions, is soloable (though I recommend lower difficulty if you're a squishy), and is lv 40 minimum.
MORALITY: Heroic
DESCRIPTION: He is known only as The Soul of the Machine; a mysterious technological marvel who emerged seemingly from nowhere, taking up arms against the ruthless villains that plague Paragon City. But even Paragon's finest cannot stand alone, and The Soul of the Machine requires your aid.

Any critiquing / criticism welcome as long as it is constructive. It was not particularly hard when I solo'd it on my 50 scrapper, on Invincible. I was just looking to make it fun really, with an engaging story. I used almost all available text capacity...lol...so please, be sure to take the time to read the clues and such.

[/ QUOTE ]

I solo'd the mission as a 33 Bane Spider. It wasn't too hard, except all the custom mobs seemed to be able to see through my stealth so I couldn't use any of my stealth strikes. I expected to die a lot, but I didn't, so that was a plus.

My biggest criticism would be that in addition to there being too many stalkers, to many of the mobs did Blind. I find blind very annoying. That might be a personal issue thing, but I took all the blinding mobs out of my missions because they made it way too hard in larger groups.

The other issue I had was the first mission was timed and on a huge map. With stealth I could run through most of it to find the blinkie but I imagine if I was with a big group the mob spawns would be so huge that it could be difficult to succeed on without stealth or just running past the mobs.

I liked the story and the custom mobs looked cool. I saw a couple places where the wording could have been improved to make the language clearer, but all in all I give it two thumbs up!

My mission arc is as follows:

Name: Hunting the Hunters
Arc ID: 93362
Length: Very Long
Missions: 5
Genre: Horror - Vampire
Morality: Villainous

Description: Young vampires have been going missing from Bardovia and no one knows what their fate might be. You have been asked to investigate these disappearances and get to the bottom of who is hunting the undead.


I created this mission for my Villain Group on Freedom. We're a role playing SG with a dark fantasy / horror theme.

After getting feedback from the forums, I combined my two arcs into one, and cleaned up some typos and fixed the flow of the story so it is much better.

Please check it out and let me know what you think.


 

Posted

[ QUOTE ]

Name: Hunting the Hunters
Arc ID: 16531
Length: Medium
Missions: 2
Genre: Horror - Vampire
Morality: Villainous

Description: Young vampires have been going missing from Bardovia and no one knows what their fate might be. You have been asked to investigate these disappearances and get to the bottom of who is hunting the undead.


I created this mission for my Villain Group on Freedom. We're a role playing SG with a dark fantasy / horror theme. This first story arc introduces a custom enemy group known as The Slayers, who are the focus of the second story arc I did. I used the Luddites as the introductory antagonists in the story, which unfortunately sets the mission level between 8 and 20. You really have to read the clues and pay attention to the details of the objects and NPCs you're interacting with to get the full story of what's going on in the first story arc.

I'd really like to combine Part 1 and Part 2 into one big story arc with 5 missions but the file size is too big. I'm also worried it might make it too long and people might loose interest.

I'm all about the story, so I'm really eager to see what people think. Please let me know.

[/ QUOTE ]

The "8-20" actually got me to wander in to try this, specifically with one of my warshades who's just 21.

Stuff to track down to fix (AKA Ye Olde Typo List: )

Intro - typo - due to report, not due too.
First mission intro: Definitely, not definately.
Second mission intro: Staging, not stagging.
Second mission return (success) dialog: emissary

You mention you wrote this for an RP group. You may want to mention that inside the description as well, given some of the dialog. Are you supposed to be RPing as another vampire? I'm assuming the answer is yes, given the clue when you find Ludwig in the first mission.

Return to Contact dialog... first mission... is somewhat... overdone... on the ellipses...

Second mission intro: The wording at the last is a bit awkward. I'd change it from:

"Remember: the luddites have already attacked you once for aiding us and this is a chance to (etc) to something like:

Remember, the Luddites will not hesitate to attack you. Aiding us will not only increase our good will towards you, but give you a chance to punish them for their transgressions." (Alternately, punish their audacity or a similar phrase.) It was odd enough that it stood out, at least for me.

None of that is a major issue to playability, and a 21 Warshade didn't feel over (or under)powered. It felt solid, but too short, and that's the biggest disappointment I ran across. I'd see about figuring out what you can do to combine the two. Do the bosses (such as the liaison from the last mission) all share similar powers and looks? If so, use just one copy and rename them - this will save on the file size.



My arc:
Tsoo Faced
#1120
Very long - Heroic
5 missions
Synopsis: The Tsoo begin an uncharacteristic rash of break ins across the city. They're obviously looking for something. What it is may come as a surprise - even to them.


 

Posted

[ QUOTE ]
My arc:
Tsoo Faced
#1120
Very long - Heroic
5 missions
Synopsis: The Tsoo begin an uncharacteristic rash of break ins across the city. They're obviously looking for something. What it is may come as a surprise - even to them.

[/ QUOTE ]

First of all I want to say, 5 stars, it has everything a good arc should entail, such as fast-paced missions, an easy-to-follow plot and an even easier to understand plot twist.
Regarding each mission:

Mission 1: Took me less than a minute to complete, although it`s not really a complaint, the two blinkies were in the first room in the warehouse, and judging from the size of the mini map, it was probably a medium sized warehouse map to a large one. It was kinda dissapointing that I touched a couple of blinkies and mission was over. But still it´s only the first assignment, so no real issue there.

Mission 2: First of all, when you are creating material, you tend to forget that sometimes, people who aren´t you tend to not know exactly all that you presume as obvious, my point being, the navigational thingie said, "Xob laim" as on of the objectives... What is a Xob laim, can you eat it? You wear it? It turns out that you fight it, and all this time I was looking for a blinkie or something. It´s only my humble opinion, but you should really just write it like "Defeat Xob Laim" It´s easier to understand. The CoT hostage was a nice touch, but after I rescued Appalanix he just stood there, even tho he said something about having to leave right away. I understand this is the MA fault´s, not yours, but you could have played with that like "I´m going to deliver the news to my brothers about this whole mess as soon as you clear this whole place" Or you know something. But that is not really that important anyhow.

Mission 3: Ok here I couldn´t reach a single Battle between the CoT and the Tsoo, and only could watch some of the dialogue. Since basically this is going to happen a lot, you could make on of the dialogues of the CoT, which says that they will not accept any interference from them and you! (with the you meaning obviously the player, but since I never did reach them, it sounds weird,a t least in the situation I was at) It could be like "We will suffer no interference whatsoever, kill them all." That involves the player in a way and keeps dialogue more real, since unless an average CoT minion is all knowing, they haven`t accounted the meddling hero.

Mission 4: Really nice done here, Tou Vue was a nice touch here, although in the mission briefing was something I didn´t fully understood so I assumed a typo. When the contact is telling you about Tou Vue and Xob laim he mentions Tu Cib... Who is Tu Cib, there has been no reference to him or her up to this point and its not mentioned again. I will not put all the briefing here as to not Spoil the story, but if you meant Tou Vue instead of Tu Cib, you should really correct it.

Mission 5: Altho´is not a requirement, it felt a little anticlimatic not having a boss in this mission, I´m not talking about an AV fight. But you know something else than to destroy an object and be done with it. Altho´it could be thatyou Did include a boss there, I missed it entirely. And I searched really well. This can sometimes happen when you set a blinkie and a boss in a map set that really doesn´t work in your advantage, putting them in complete different rooms. But again maybe you didn´t put any boss to begin with, so it´s okay.

Overall I think it´s a 5 stars arc. It has some nice play on words, like the title which plays well with the story. The clues where nice, easy to follow and helpful, and the story was fun.


My arc:
The Calling of the Cult.

Creator: @Misho
Morality: Neutral

Difficulty: Medium to hard. *Party Recommended*
Some mishes will be high end stuff.

Arc ID 64859

5 Missions, Very Long, Archvillian Fights. Party recommended.

Typos and grammatical errors will most probably appear often. The reason is that english is not my primary language and sometimes the ideas I have, are difficult to translate. I`ve been advised to proof read my story. And will do so in the future, but I need more feed back > I advise you to read every clue and such. Even bosses and custom groups info. This will give you some clues.


 

Posted

[ QUOTE ]
Tu Cib... Who is Tu Cib

[/ QUOTE ]

... tell me I didn't mangle Tub Ci's name after going over this several times. >.< (Leader of the tsoo.) (Checked... nope, it's Tub Ci. Might be able to massage that a bit.)

I'll have to double check the first mission's glowie placement. They should be at middle/back (in an order that makes sense, given what they are,) but that might be a map thing.

Similarly, the COT hostage *should* have run away. >.< Have to double check that, swear he did when I tested it.

Bit of tweaking, mostly to dialog, done from feedback. Thanks!


 

Posted

<
My arc:
The Calling of the Cult.

Creator: @Misho
Morality: Neutral

Difficulty: Medium to hard. *Party Recommended*
Some mishes will be high end stuff.

Arc ID 64859

5 Missions, Very Long, Archvillian Fights. Party recommended.

Typos and grammatical errors will most probably appear often. The reason is that english is not my primary language and sometimes the ideas I have, are difficult to translate. I`ve been advised to proof read my story. And will do so in the future, but I need more feed back > I advise you to read every clue and such. Even bosses and custom groups info. This will give you some clues. >

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Just finished it - overall was very engaging. Other than the im sure you know text errors i just had the following:

I wasnt really sure why i was fighting the whisperer - because he could "see" better than you? Maybe tweak that a bit. The rest flowed fine.

Just a personal note - i hate caves. And theres a reason i dont go into dark astoria - i can't see and its annoying. So i had a hrad time in there, but, was a nice spooky feeling you were going for.

The AV/EB fight was well thought out - i solo'd the whole thing but i can tell it would be hard gfor teams. i like the custom enemies naems/powers.

So i gave it a 5. Nice work.


Creator - @Stellar
My arc 69221.
Paradox Paradox
Setting - Heroic.

Recommnded for higher level teams - or 50's.

Youre not saving the world - but a soul. AV fight, clickies, destroy objects, allies.


*nerf* Darn! Oh well.. I will just have to rebuild. Ah.. this works *nerf*
Darn it.. well I will rebuild again.. oh this might *nerf*
Grr.. this is getting annoying.. rebuild agai- *nerf*
I wasn't even finished rebuilding the las- *nerf* But.. *nerf* I *nerf* ......*nerf* *nerf* *nerf*