[ QUOTE ]
Mission:
"Invasion of the Samurai"
Arc ID: 93272
Length: Medium
Missions: 3
Genre: Foriegn; War
Level: 1-54
Brief Description: This is a fictional story how the Samurai are trying to take thier land back from the Japanese government. You are working for a General of the US Army to help crush the rebellion. In the first mission you find out that the Samurai are creating some weapon to help them win. You find out what it is and the rest is up to you to find out.
Currently it has 6 ratings and has 4 stars. I will be updating it periodically to fix spelling, grammar, and text.
[/ QUOTE ]
I edited my arc, extending it to 5 missions. So play time is about 20-30 minutes, maybe longer.
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Mission:
"Invasion of the Samurai"
Arc ID: 93272
Length: Medium
Missions: 3
Genre: Foriegn; War
Level: 1-54
Brief Description: This is a fictional story how the Samurai are trying to take thier land back from the Japanese government. You are working for a General of the US Army to help crush the rebellion. In the first mission you find out that the Samurai are creating some weapon to help them win. You find out what it is and the rest is up to you to find out.
Currently it has 6 ratings and has 4 stars. I will be updating it periodically to fix spelling, grammar, and text.
[/ QUOTE ]
I edited my arc, extending it to 5 missions. So play time is about 20-30 minutes, maybe longer.
[/ QUOTE ]
I just played it, I think it was more like 45 minutes or so, but I wasn't keeping close track.
Anyway, I really liked it, and gave it 5 stars.
General comments:
- The text could use a proofreading pass or two. Nothing too serious. There are places where I would have phrased things differently, but it was never unclear. One particular spelling nitpick: it's "their," not "thier."
- Also text-related, but there were several references to the lead hero as "he" or "him." But Ashley's a girl. 
More specific: I played with my lvl 47 Archery/Devices Blaster, Ashley Porter. Solo/Rugged(I think) on all missions. Ashley also has excellent stealth, and for the most part I tried to sneak around, usually only getting into trouble when I broke stealth somehow.
Mission 1: Found the opposition fairly easy to dispatch with Ashley's usual area-effect archery combo. The Boss wasn't too tough, and he ran from me at about 1/4 HP or so... which isn't good strategy against an archer out in open terrain. Love the Japanese text! Don't think I've ever seen that before, wasn't even aware of the possibility.
Mission 2: Reading the clue dropped my stealth, the resulting fight was a bit of a challenge. I ended up getting defeated by the boss when his guys attacked when I didn't expect it (and I didn't get a chance to lay down some caltrops and trip mines.) A bunch of allies in the area made it tougher. Returned to finish him off. Boss seems to have excellent defense - Ashley's not used to missing as much as she did here.
Mission 3: I ignored the warning to bring a friend. I thought I had the Elite Boss all set up (caltrops and mines again), and then... AMBUSH!!!! Very well-placed ambush, caused me a lot of trouble. Ended with something I've actually never seen before. I killed the EB, hit Exit Mission, at the same instant that he killed me. Woke up in hospital, but with Mission Completed! Oh, one potential problem here is that I could exit the mission without defeating the many attackers nearby. Not sure if that's fixable.
Mission 4: Finished this in literally 20 seconds or so. Found the clue, which triggered an ambush (heard them coming), but I just exited mission instead of sticking around for it. Nice map choice.
Mission 5: I ignored "bring a friend" advice again. This time, the Boss went down fairly easy, again in part because he decided to run and let me pepper him with arrows at range. When he DID get close, though, he was deadly - 1404.92 dmg from one Flashing Steel attack. Ashley can't take more than one of those! So that's good, keeping him at range was MANDATORY.
Found the PM after the Boss, wasn't a difficult rescue.
Now, my mission:
Inspired bythis wonderfully cheesy radio ad for a '70s B-Movie, a longtime running joke on the Don and Mike show, it's:
Females for Hire! #106098
Faction: Either
Creator Global/Forum Name: @suedenim
Difficulty Level: Medium (I think)
Genre: Action/Mystery/Low-key comedy
Estimated Time to Play: Short (1 mission, Medium Office Map)
Description:
What you see is what you get... with Females for Hire!
Meet Paragon City's fastest-growing all-girl, all-stereotype mercenary group. Studies have shown that over 95% of all mercenary hiring managers are men... so Females for Hire consciously plays to male stereotypes of "action girl" operatives, while maintaining top-notch professionalism.
You're playing with fire... with Females for Hire! From Independent International Pictures. Rated PG.
[ QUOTE ]
Arc Name: The Oblivion Lens
Arc ID: 91897
Faction: Heroic
Time: 45 minutes.
Synopsis: What starts out as a battle against the Circle of Thorns turns into something far more dire when a mysterious artifact is recovered. (Does contain an arch villain in the last mission.)
[/ QUOTE ]
Decided to try this one on my 50 ng/ng blaster. The custom group is nicely done, a little rough for soloing blaster with all those to hit debuffs but I persevered to the end =] Reading through all the content, I would have to say it seems a tad bit confusing. I know this won't be a lot of help (sorry) but maybe somehow if you are going to do some editing maybe try and make the story a bit more clear.
I made it clear to the AV and gave him one try 
but he was a bit too much for my poor lil blaster.
Over all a very nice original story.
[ QUOTE ]
Females for Hire! #106098
Faction: Either
Creator Global/Forum Name: @suedenim
Difficulty Level: Medium (I think)
Genre: Action/Mystery/Low-key comedy
Estimated Time to Play: Short (1 mission, Medium Office Map)
Description:
What you see is what you get... with Females for Hire!
Meet Paragon City's fastest-growing all-girl, all-stereotype mercenary group. Studies have shown that over 95% of all mercenary hiring managers are men... so Females for Hire consciously plays to male stereotypes of "action girl" operatives, while maintaining top-notch professionalism.
[/ QUOTE ]
I tried out your arc. Quick, easy (of course, with just one mish), and I found it enjoyable. But I thought it had potential to be more -- at least 3 missions. Or perhaps spawn a sequel? I rated it 3 stars.
The idea behind the actual story is actually pretty intriguing. Since I don't listen to Don & Mike (I prefer Opie and Anthony), I'm not sure to what extent the the security agency idea was yours, but it's a concept that can definitely be expanded upon. If you can add more story to it, I would highly recommend republishing it a couple extra missions throw in.
Now, here's the info on my story arc for someone to check out:
Arc Name: "The Once and Future King Sac"
Arc ID: 99394
Faction: Custom group (The Entropy)
Creator Global/Forum Name: @KingSac
Difficulty Level: Medium to High (depends on how you handle EBs)
Synopsis: A strange temporal anomaly has been detected, and for some reason, it seems centered around the hero, King Sac. A hero is needed to investigate the disturbance before what seems like a harmless ripple ends up cascading across the universe.
Estimated Time to Play: 45 minutes (5 missions)
Feedback Link!
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[ QUOTE ]
Females for Hire! #106098
Faction: Either
Creator Global/Forum Name: @suedenim
Difficulty Level: Medium (I think)
Genre: Action/Mystery/Low-key comedy
Estimated Time to Play: Short (1 mission, Medium Office Map)
Description:
What you see is what you get... with Females for Hire!
Meet Paragon City's fastest-growing all-girl, all-stereotype mercenary group. Studies have shown that over 95% of all mercenary hiring managers are men... so Females for Hire consciously plays to male stereotypes of "action girl" operatives, while maintaining top-notch professionalism.
[/ QUOTE ]
I tried out your arc. Quick, easy (of course, with just one mish), and I found it enjoyable. But I thought it had potential to be more -- at least 3 missions. Or perhaps spawn a sequel? I rated it 3 stars.
The idea behind the actual story is actually pretty intriguing. Since I don't listen to Don & Mike (I prefer Opie and Anthony), I'm not sure to what extent the the security agency idea was yours, but it's a concept that can definitely be expanded upon. If you can add more story to it, I would highly recommend republishing it a couple extra missions throw in.
[/ QUOTE ]
There's actually no relationship with the movie beyond the title and the cheesy taglines. There's definitely potential for sequels, as I think the Females for Hire make a pretty good adversary group.
[ QUOTE ]
My Arc is #25911
"So you want to join the Agency?" if anyone wants to give it a go
[/ QUOTE ]
I think yours got skipped (ironically) so I ran it. I took my 50 scrapper through on heroic.
The beginning was a little confusing. Am I supposed to know what Agency this is? I've never played a villain in the high levels, so I can't tell if Marshal Blitz is part of canon or not, not that it really matters.
(By the way, something seemed to go wrong with the spacing in the intro text, like a blank line was missing from between the paragraphs or something. Actually, all the briefing/debriefing text is like that.)
Mission 1:
When I hit Agent Burnet at the beginning, the wall of dialog from the NPC's was bigger than I could read, especially since I was busy fighting. I have the same problem with my missions. (And that happened a lot in this whole arc).
I seemed to get two clues at once. Not sure how that happened. One clue said that Agent Burnet took the documents, but agent Burnet was... no longer with me. The other clue said that Agent Honda was impressed with my conduct in the mission, but I wasn't done with the mission and don't know who Agent Honda is.
Mission 2:
Briefing - decypher should be decipher. beatin should be beating, or maybe beatin' but that would seem out of character for Agent Ford. maker's should be makers.
Wait, what did the mission entrance pop-up say? Something about Toyota? Not Clipper? When I found Clipper, he was a boss. Maybe tougher than a regular boss, but nothing I couldn't handle. Although Clipper was a melee boss, there was no reason for me to be using melee attacks (except that I happened to be a scrapper) so I'm not sure about calling it "hand to hand" training. I'm not sure I found Agent Ford's explanation of Clipper's behavior entirely satisfactory.
The agency sounds a lot like Vanguard.
Mission 3:
Briefing - interrigate should be interrogate. Also, I think you're using the word Rogue too much, and I'm not sure why it's capitalized so often. The Agency is made up of Rogues, some of whom are villains, so there must be current or former Arachnos members in there. But the Rogue Arachnos were the enemies in the first mission. And then you refer to the Agency as Rogues, and then you refer to the Arachnos as Rogues, and... I don't know. Just seemed like that word was overused a bit. Congrats on spelling it correctly, though! There is a lot of rouge going around in the MA.
Mission entrance pop-up: You know, as a level 50 hero, I really didn't feel like a nobody yesterday.
The fight with Arakhn was a bit of a let down. After all the talk about how deadly she was, she spawned as a Lieutenant? I guess 'cause I was running on heroic, but still. And I think her dialog could be better. Four question marks is a bit much. And having her tell me that I had assured her that I was not working with the Rikti didn't make much sense. I didn't assure her of anything. I just hit her.
Mission 4:
Briefing - I can see what you are trying to accomplish, but the Agent doesn't come off as being sneaky or deceitful so much as confused and erratic. It's a good idea, but I think the dialog should be fine-tuned.
Mission entrance pop-up: Who is the "I" here? If you are telling me what I think, then that feels a bit intrusive. And I think in the previous mission pop-up, you were using "we". It might be better to stick to more objective, external things in these pop-ups, rather than telling me what I am thinking.
Blitz did some serious kill stealing until I ditched him.
The ending was kind of a let down, I'm afraid. The fights were fun, especially with all the ambushes. The final AV (scaled down to EB) almost beat me until I popped some inspirations. For a minute I was afraid I wouldn't be able to finish the arc because I couldn't find the final boss. Well, for several minutes. I got him eventually, back near the beginning.
The story, though, kind of fell down at the end. I think too much of the actual plan was explained too late, while the "surprise" was hinted at too strongly too early. The fundamental question I was left with was "Why did they call me in the first place?" The reasons given in the text seemed either weak or contradictory.
All in all, I think the arc has potential. The first thing you need to do is examine the story from the bad guy's point of view and make sure that everything he does makes sense from his point of view. Then take another pass at the dialog to make sure it fully supports the story. Then one more pass to tidy up the spelling and apostrophes.
If anyone wants to run a mission of mine, it won't take long. The only thing I've published on live so far is Doctor Nadir and the Hellion Heist. It's very short, suitable for soloists and lowbies. Arc #49661.
Avatar: "Cheeky Jack O Lantern" by dimarie
[ QUOTE ]
Not trying to be a [censored], but my arc is next in line to be reviewed. And with zero plays currently, it could certainly use it.
Arc Name: The Oblivion Lens
Arc ID: 91897
Faction: Heroic
Time: 45 minutes.
Synopsis: What starts out as a battle against the Circle of Thorns turns into something far more dire when a mysterious artifact is recovered. (Does contain an arch villain in the last mission.)
[/ QUOTE ]
I played this arc between last night and this evening... first of all, I would say your time estimate is significantly off... over all I think it took a bit over two hours to complete solo on my level 50 defender.
Mission 1 played fine, my only complaint was that the arcanist ally tended to be overly aggressive, frequently aggroing adjacent mobs. You need to be a little more careful with comma usage in your text, but that's a little thing.
Mission 2... Okay this was the one I struggled with, for a few reasons: Defeat alls in those damned cargo ships are lousy at the best of times... but some of your custom villains have shadow fall... a stealth power that made finding the ones I missed a royal pain.
Unlike the other commenter, I did not find the custom mobs balanced... one of the minions, I swear, was tank based and way more trouble than any minion should have been, and the other... well, tar patch gets old when you've got four stacked on you. The problem is that with only a few types of mobs at each level, you end up with way too many who stack the same debuff or buff... I've found that adding one more purely combat oriented mob to the mob level with the debuffs/buffs dilutes this enough to make it more playable - something you might consider. That said, the lieutenants seemed fairly reasonable in terms of difficulty level, it was only the minions that felt overly strong.
Mission 3 seemed fine to me and I didn't struggle with it at all, though you continue to have a number of frustrating spelling and grammar errors. This is unfair of me... my degree is in language and literature, so they may just jump out at me more, but there are definitely a goodly number of them in there.
Mission 4 brought the spelling and grammar errors home for me, even though the mission itself was easy and largely stealthable. Throughout this mission (and possibly earlier, this is just where it jumped out) you spelled "Rogue Isles" as "Rouge Isles" - I can't claim to be free of such errors myself... I just found I had misspelled villain in several places in my arc... but no one is truly good at proofing their own text... find someone who can actually go through the text file of your arc and find some of the spelling and grammar issues for you, because you're likely to miss them yourself just because you're too close to the text.
Mission 5 clearly indicates the need for allies... which is great, because I think most builds will need the help. I was able to solo the EB, though it was a close battle.
Overall, I think the arc was decent, though I'd definitely recommend giving the power sets and difficulty of the custom mob minions another look. Also there are a number of spelling and grammar errors that really need fixing. I'd also recommend going in and making the titles of each mission intro an alternate color... I believe the devs use the "sky blue" for this... just as a sort of finishing touch.
The custom mobs killed this one for me... while I survived, being stuck in multiple stacked debuff zones created by the all too plentiful minions made the missions painful. That the mission introducing those custom mobs was a kill all, and that they had a stealth power just made it worse. I think this arc could be good with some changes, so I didn't curse you with a bad rating ... send me a tell if you make the changes and I'll try it again.
---------
My arc for review:
The Gorgon Maneuver
Arc Id # 71797
Faction: Villian
Creator Global/Forum Name: Koldoon
Difficulty Level: somewhat difficult (EB in 3rd mission, AV in 5th mission - also custom enemies make the first and fifth missions more difficult)
Synopsis: When the Snakes find themselves between Arachnos and a strange new menace, they seek out the most capable of villians to resolve the problem. Beset by Ophidians, a strange race of serpents that walk as men, the immortal Euryale summons the Destined Ones into a strikeforce - suitable for all levels.
Estimated Time to Play: soloed in two and half hours, two teams of 6-7 players playing it this past weekend finished in 3 hours and 4 hours respectively
I tried to make this arc really feel like a strikeforce, even subtitling it in the mission intros as "The Gorgon Maneuver, Euryale's Strikeforce"
I'm promoting it with this poster, which I hope doesn't break any rules (posting as link only):
Link to Image of poster for The Gorgon Maneuver
[ QUOTE ]
If anyone wants to run a mission of mine, it won't take long. The only thing I've published on live so far is Doctor Nadir and the Hellion Heist. It's very short, suitable for soloists and lowbies. Arc #49661.
[/ QUOTE ]
this is a nice little story that is dying to be an arc. it is only one mission, but it has the potential to be easily blown up in to a full story arc. the first could be a simple investigation, no boss. then the next can be a confront boss. the final could be set in atlas and destroy all objects kind of thing. the story does not have to be difficult. no custom toons other than the boss is necessary either. your story is easily playable and could be a lot of fun too. keep it simple and you can have a nice little story arc...
please try my welcome to donut world, still looking for feedback and player completions.
global: ridiculous girl
Hero Therapy! (TM) - 119228
welcome to donut world - 1233
"The Legend of Medieval Mayhem: Episode 1"
Arc ID: 418381
Length: Very Long (but I dont think so, just lots to do)
Missions: 5
Genre: Action
Description: Set in Medieval times you are a lone hero who is trying to rescue his kingdom from being destroyed by a dark spirit that posses the fellow warriors of the town. It's up to you to stop this dark spirit from possesing the strongest knight in all the town, the Head Knight, Sir Williams. However... Can he really be the strongest person? Play to find out.
Bonus Hint: In the first mission you'll get a surprise guest appreance from your favortie Ancient Romans 
I am currently working on Episode 2 and will post when it is up. Enjoy!
Feedback is appreciated
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
If anyone wants to run a mission of mine, it won't take long. The only thing I've published on live so far is Doctor Nadir and the Hellion Heist. It's very short, suitable for soloists and lowbies. Arc #49661.
[/ QUOTE ]
this is a nice little story that is dying to be an arc. it is only one mission, but it has the potential to be easily blown up in to a full story arc. the first could be a simple investigation, no boss. then the next can be a confront boss. the final could be set in atlas and destroy all objects kind of thing. the story does not have to be difficult. no custom toons other than the boss is necessary either. your story is easily playable and could be a lot of fun too. keep it simple and you can have a nice little story arc...
please try my welcome to donut world, still looking for feedback and player completions.
[/ QUOTE ]
Thank you. You aren't the first person who has suggested that I make it longer, but I'm reluctant. As a player, I prefer missions that are short but sweet. I do have a couple of other one-mission arcs where Doctor Nadir teams up with other villain groups, with new and different villainous schemes, but the 3 arc limit is quite a squeeze.
Avatar: "Cheeky Jack O Lantern" by dimarie
[ QUOTE ]
"The Legend of Medieval Mayhem: Episode 1"
Arc ID: 3607
...
Feedback is appreciated
[/ QUOTE ]
You need to review one of the current arcs in the queue before presenting yours for review, per the forum rules.... I appreciate that you are anxious for feedback, but please post a review first.
[ QUOTE ]
My arc for review:
The Gorgon Maneuver
Arc Id # 71797
Faction: Villian
Creator Global/Forum Name: Koldoon
Difficulty Level: somewhat difficult (EB in 3rd mission, AV in 5th mission - also custom enemies make the first and fifth missions more difficult)
Synopsis: When the Snakes find themselves between Arachnos and a strange new menace, they seek out the most capable of villians to resolve the problem. Beset by Ophidians, a strange race of serpents that walk as men, the immortal Euryale summons the Destined Ones into a strikeforce - suitable for all levels.
Estimated Time to Play: soloed in two and half hours, two teams of 6-7 players playing it this past weekend finished in 3 hours and 4 hours respectively
I tried to make this arc really feel like a strikeforce, even subtitling it in the mission intros as "The Gorgon Maneuver, Euryale's Strikeforce"
[/ QUOTE ]
I'd love to give more feedback on this, but as you said. You designed it to be more like a Strike Force. I'll have to try this again later when I have more friends online. It'd be nice to have a fair warning that this is not exactly a solo friendly encounter.
Right out of the front door into Mission 01 I'm faced with some very challanging high class mobs. Thier appearance doesn't exactly match the brute force they tend to pack. Though I can defeat them alone, they foretell of a very challanging experience ahead.
I will say from what I have played, which is little, that the introduction Dialog of your choice contact is cumbersome. I will say the insert of colored text is nice, I'd personally like to know how to do that myself so I can apply it to future installments of my Arc missions. By cumbersome, I mean it feels a lot of information too quickly to digest. It feels like I'm talking to yammering snake trying to lie to itself.
I want to revisit this and see how everything unfolds, and I certanly will when I have time to devote to such a task. In the meantime I will be posting my Arc her, though the critique I posted doesn't seem to fully merit me tagging it here. I suggest more look in to #71797.
----- My Arc ----
----- Chapter 01 ----
Arc ID#111410
Title: The Pantheon of the Fallen: Chapter 01: The Children of the Pantheon Emerge
Length: Very Long (5 Missions)
Morality: Neutral
Difficulty: Progression from Easy to Challanging as story develops.
Description: The Pantheon of the Fallen is a long, and well crafted story arc that varies in difficulty. Uncover the mysteries of the past and face the terrors of the future. [SFMA] Suggested: 4 to 6 Players. [AUTO SIDE KICK to 50]
Includes: Collection, Boss Battles, Release Captives, Ambushed, Elite Boss, and Arch Villian.
Please read Mission Logs and Clues, as they will reveal more to the story. The Chapter is solid as a whole, more Chapters to be released in the future.
Includes: Collection, Boss Battles, Release Captives, Ambushed, Elite Boss, and Arch Villian.
Please read Mission Logs and Clues, as they will reveal more to the story. The Chapter is solid as a whole, more Chapters to be released in the future.
[ QUOTE ]
I will say the insert of colored text is nice, I'd personally like to know how to do that myself so I can apply it to future installments of my Arc missions.
[/ QUOTE ]
Highlight the text in the MA and right click, a menu will come up allowing you to apply formatting to the text.
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Not trying to be a [censored], but my arc is next in line to be reviewed. And with zero plays currently, it could certainly use it.
Arc Name: The Oblivion Lens
Arc ID: 91897
Faction: Heroic
Time: 45 minutes.
Synopsis: What starts out as a battle against the Circle of Thorns turns into something far more dire when a mysterious artifact is recovered. (Does contain an arch villain in the last mission.)
[/ QUOTE ]
I played this arc between last night and this evening... first of all, I would say your time estimate is significantly off... over all I think it took a bit over two hours to complete solo on my level 50 defender.
Mission 1 played fine, my only complaint was that the arcanist ally tended to be overly aggressive, frequently aggroing adjacent mobs. You need to be a little more careful with comma usage in your text, but that's a little thing.
Mission 2... Okay this was the one I struggled with, for a few reasons: Defeat alls in those damned cargo ships are lousy at the best of times... but some of your custom villains have shadow fall... a stealth power that made finding the ones I missed a royal pain.
Unlike the other commenter, I did not find the custom mobs balanced... one of the minions, I swear, was tank based and way more trouble than any minion should have been, and the other... well, tar patch gets old when you've got four stacked on you. The problem is that with only a few types of mobs at each level, you end up with way too many who stack the same debuff or buff... I've found that adding one more purely combat oriented mob to the mob level with the debuffs/buffs dilutes this enough to make it more playable - something you might consider. That said, the lieutenants seemed fairly reasonable in terms of difficulty level, it was only the minions that felt overly strong.
Mission 3 seemed fine to me and I didn't struggle with it at all, though you continue to have a number of frustrating spelling and grammar errors. This is unfair of me... my degree is in language and literature, so they may just jump out at me more, but there are definitely a goodly number of them in there.
Mission 4 brought the spelling and grammar errors home for me, even though the mission itself was easy and largely stealthable. Throughout this mission (and possibly earlier, this is just where it jumped out) you spelled "Rogue Isles" as "Rouge Isles" - I can't claim to be free of such errors myself... I just found I had misspelled villain in several places in my arc... but no one is truly good at proofing their own text... find someone who can actually go through the text file of your arc and find some of the spelling and grammar issues for you, because you're likely to miss them yourself just because you're too close to the text.
Mission 5 clearly indicates the need for allies... which is great, because I think most builds will need the help. I was able to solo the EB, though it was a close battle.
Overall, I think the arc was decent, though I'd definitely recommend giving the power sets and difficulty of the custom mob minions another look. Also there are a number of spelling and grammar errors that really need fixing. I'd also recommend going in and making the titles of each mission intro an alternate color... I believe the devs use the "sky blue" for this... just as a sort of finishing touch.
The custom mobs killed this one for me... while I survived, being stuck in multiple stacked debuff zones created by the all too plentiful minions made the missions painful. That the mission introducing those custom mobs was a kill all, and that they had a stealth power just made it worse. I think this arc could be good with some changes, so I didn't curse you with a bad rating ... send me a tell if you make the changes and I'll try it again.
---------
My arc for review:
The Gorgon Maneuver
Arc Id # 71797
Faction: Villian
Creator Global/Forum Name: Koldoon
Difficulty Level: somewhat difficult (EB in 3rd mission, AV in 5th mission - also custom enemies make the first and fifth missions more difficult)
Synopsis: When the Snakes find themselves between Arachnos and a strange new menace, they seek out the most capable of villians to resolve the problem. Beset by Ophidians, a strange race of serpents that walk as men, the immortal Euryale summons the Destined Ones into a strikeforce - suitable for all levels.
Estimated Time to Play: soloed in two and half hours, two teams of 6-7 players playing it this past weekend finished in 3 hours and 4 hours respectively
I tried to make this arc really feel like a strikeforce, even subtitling it in the mission intros as "The Gorgon Maneuver, Euryale's Strikeforce"
I'm promoting it with this poster, which I hope doesn't break any rules (posting as link only):
Link to Image of poster for The Gorgon Maneuver
[/ QUOTE ]
Thanks for the feedback. To address the typos and grammar problems, they were picked up on in another review and I really thought I fixed them. Particularly the Rogue Isles vs. Rouge Isles issue. I am sorry this isn't the case, I don't know if it's a problem with the autosave that I use or I just failed to find all of the typos. Historically, I have always been horrible with grammar/spelling, and any more specific examples of glaring errors that you could give me would be very much appreciated.
The best feedback by far though is that which you have given me on the custom enemy group. I had some friends test it when it was still in its infancy (they actually found a few REALLY bad grammar mistakes that I did correct,) and one of their complaints was that the mobs played to similar to one another. If I can fit in the file space though, I will put in another melee combat mob. The stealth mob was another thing I thought I fixed along with the Rouge Isle problem, I guess I didn't and will remedy that posthaste.
Thanks a lot for the feedback, I really appreciate it and your overly-generous star ranking.
It's possible that I had started the arc prior to you making the changes... I don't believe any changes made after someone starts an arc affect any players already playing it.
[ QUOTE ]
It's possible that I had started the arc prior to you making the changes... I don't believe any changes made after someone starts an arc affect any players already playing it.
[/ QUOTE ]
Unfortunately (for me) it isn't that, I just went on the mission editor and remade changes I thought I already did. I don't know what I did wrong, but knowing me I probably just hit the wrong button, or maybe I only changed the local version.
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Females for Hire! #106098
Faction: Either
Creator Global/Forum Name: @suedenim
Difficulty Level: Medium (I think)
Genre: Action/Mystery/Low-key comedy
Estimated Time to Play: Short (1 mission, Medium Office Map)
Description:
What you see is what you get... with Females for Hire!
Meet Paragon City's fastest-growing all-girl, all-stereotype mercenary group. Studies have shown that over 95% of all mercenary hiring managers are men... so Females for Hire consciously plays to male stereotypes of "action girl" operatives, while maintaining top-notch professionalism.
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I tried out your arc. Quick, easy (of course, with just one mish), and I found it enjoyable. But I thought it had potential to be more -- at least 3 missions. Or perhaps spawn a sequel? I rated it 3 stars.
The idea behind the actual story is actually pretty intriguing. Since I don't listen to Don & Mike (I prefer Opie and Anthony), I'm not sure to what extent the the security agency idea was yours, but it's a concept that can definitely be expanded upon. If you can add more story to it, I would highly recommend republishing it a couple extra missions throw in.
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There's actually no relationship with the movie beyond the title and the cheesy taglines. There's definitely potential for sequels, as I think the Females for Hire make a pretty good adversary group.
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For anyone who might be interested, I did indeed end up turning this into a 3-mission arc. The new number is 110723.
My arc for review:
Long Story Short: We're All Screwed
Arc Id # 86654
Faction: Neutral
Creator Global/Forum Name: Meaning of Liff
Difficulty Level: Anywhere from a quick pace and a constant battle for large teams on difficulty 2 and 4, to steamrolling over everything solo, depending on the options you take.
Synopsis: Repent! The End is Nigh! The reckoning has come and gone and you've been left behind! The horsemen are storming Paragon. Will you heed thy Lord's call and revert the Apocalypse?!
Estimated Time to Play:
My Solo times---
Mission One: 14 minutes.
Mission Two: 20 minutes.
Mission Three: 15 minutes.
Group times depend heavily on the balance. Scrappers are independent as always, Bring a tanker if you've got squishies... You all know the deal.
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Edit: Removed the dark melee minions and fixed some other balance issues to ease it back a little. Some low ratings before the fix. Since, One 5 star rating:
"Wow! Love the work you put into the custom critters. And totally loved [SPOILERS REMOVED] since I was logged in my Angel alt for it. The [SPOILER REMOVED] was a lil scary.. mean.. he killed me once! It's ok, I killed him back :P. Thank you for letting me play your arc! 5 stars!" - @Ara
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For anyone who might be interested, I did indeed end up turning this into a 3-mission arc. The new number is 110723.
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suedemin, I went and played your now lengthened arc, and I liked how you were able to expand on that original 1-mission story. Definitely a much more satisfying experience. I rated it 4 stars.
My only fear is of possible close-minded backlash upon the subject matter of your arc. Hopefully NCSoft support may be able to remove any possible low ratings if they are accompanied by negative comments.
But good job on going back to the drawing board and turning in an effective "second draft".
Arc ID#109148
Title: The Pantheon of the Fallen: Chapter 01
Saying "easy to challenging" is far too polite. Mission 3 being not even remotely soloable for a scrapper is not "challenging". It's in the uber league. As in "only for players who roll on Invincible because everything else is just too boring for them".
The Lt's killed me in 3 hits, dude. With inspriations and 4-5 critters amping up my RttC. I'm can't grasp how a team could do any better when they'd be generating even more critters on the map.
As for the story elements that I got through before giving up...
My first impression is that I've got a bit of a problem where my motivation to help this blind elf chick is because I am "compelled by her words" and feel I need to "prove my worth" to her.
Flowery dialogue is one thing, but flowery narrative is a bit heavy. Both could use some lightening up actually. You also assume a bit too much about how a character will react to everything. Why was it so hard to break in? Why am I so afraid of detection when I make a living out of busting into bad guy bases already and this is supposedly just an exercise mission of sorts? In mission 2, why am I "confused" at merely seeing the cult's version of a transfer memo? Stuff like that was kind of jarring.
Only one or two typos (ie hide in PLAIN sight).
I have a bit of a plot nitpick with your explanation of the hero and villain factions. In CoH history, superhumans first appears with Statesman and Lord Recluse in the 1930s some time, maybe even earlier, but still 20th century. Based on that timeframe, your good guys have only heard rumors that your bad guys have been growing since then (the better part of 100 years to build their forces?)... so it doesn't jibe that they have been enemies for millennia.
Making clickies take 12 seconds was a bit much for no real reason. And not sure why there were multiple files with the same label on them.
That said... this does sound like it could be a pretty good story, even if the prose has some shades of purple. I was intrigued enough to want to know where this was going if I thought I had any prayer of surviving it. Your idea of challenging is on a far different scale than mine.
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My AE Story Arcs:
Family Matters - 82136
Arc Name: Girl Scout Cookie Scheme
Arc ID: 52387
Faction: Heroic
Creator Global/Forum Name: @twiig
Difficulty Level: Varies by level and team size. Fairly easy on Security Level 1
Synopsis: Bobby's little sister, Julie, has been acting a little strange since she joined the Scouts this past year. Her behavior is worsening rapidly and Bobby needs your help to find out why.
Estimated Time to Play: 15-25 minutes
Had a variety of feedback already. Can't hurt to get more though.
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My Arc is #25911
"So you want to join the Agency?" if anyone wants to give it a go
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I think yours got skipped (ironically) so I ran it. I took my 50 scrapper through on heroic.
The beginning was a little confusing. Am I supposed to know what Agency this is? I've never played a villain in the high levels, so I can't tell if Marshal Blitz is part of canon or not, not that it really matters.
(By the way, something seemed to go wrong with the spacing in the intro text, like a blank line was missing from between the paragraphs or something. Actually, all the briefing/debriefing text is like that.)
Mission 1:
When I hit Agent Burnet at the beginning, the wall of dialog from the NPC's was bigger than I could read, especially since I was busy fighting. I have the same problem with my missions. (And that happened a lot in this whole arc).
I seemed to get two clues at once. Not sure how that happened. One clue said that Agent Burnet took the documents, but agent Burnet was... no longer with me. The other clue said that Agent Honda was impressed with my conduct in the mission, but I wasn't done with the mission and don't know who Agent Honda is.
Mission 2:
Briefing - decypher should be decipher. beatin should be beating, or maybe beatin' but that would seem out of character for Agent Ford. maker's should be makers.
Wait, what did the mission entrance pop-up say? Something about Toyota? Not Clipper? When I found Clipper, he was a boss. Maybe tougher than a regular boss, but nothing I couldn't handle. Although Clipper was a melee boss, there was no reason for me to be using melee attacks (except that I happened to be a scrapper) so I'm not sure about calling it "hand to hand" training. I'm not sure I found Agent Ford's explanation of Clipper's behavior entirely satisfactory.
The agency sounds a lot like Vanguard.
Mission 3:
Briefing - interrigate should be interrogate. Also, I think you're using the word Rogue too much, and I'm not sure why it's capitalized so often. The Agency is made up of Rogues, some of whom are villains, so there must be current or former Arachnos members in there. But the Rogue Arachnos were the enemies in the first mission. And then you refer to the Agency as Rogues, and then you refer to the Arachnos as Rogues, and... I don't know. Just seemed like that word was overused a bit. Congrats on spelling it correctly, though! There is a lot of rouge going around in the MA.
Mission entrance pop-up: You know, as a level 50 hero, I really didn't feel like a nobody yesterday.
The fight with Arakhn was a bit of a let down. After all the talk about how deadly she was, she spawned as a Lieutenant? I guess 'cause I was running on heroic, but still. And I think her dialog could be better. Four question marks is a bit much. And having her tell me that I had assured her that I was not working with the Rikti didn't make much sense. I didn't assure her of anything. I just hit her.
Mission 4:
Briefing - I can see what you are trying to accomplish, but the Agent doesn't come off as being sneaky or deceitful so much as confused and erratic. It's a good idea, but I think the dialog should be fine-tuned.
Mission entrance pop-up: Who is the "I" here? If you are telling me what I think, then that feels a bit intrusive. And I think in the previous mission pop-up, you were using "we". It might be better to stick to more objective, external things in these pop-ups, rather than telling me what I am thinking.
Blitz did some serious kill stealing until I ditched him.
The ending was kind of a let down, I'm afraid. The fights were fun, especially with all the ambushes. The final AV (scaled down to EB) almost beat me until I popped some inspirations. For a minute I was afraid I wouldn't be able to finish the arc because I couldn't find the final boss. Well, for several minutes. I got him eventually, back near the beginning.
The story, though, kind of fell down at the end. I think too much of the actual plan was explained too late, while the "surprise" was hinted at too strongly too early. The fundamental question I was left with was "Why did they call me in the first place?" The reasons given in the text seemed either weak or contradictory.
All in all, I think the arc has potential. The first thing you need to do is examine the story from the bad guy's point of view and make sure that everything he does makes sense from his point of view. Then take another pass at the dialog to make sure it fully supports the story. Then one more pass to tidy up the spelling and apostrophes.
If anyone wants to run a mission of mine, it won't take long. The only thing I've published on live so far is Doctor Nadir and the Hellion Heist. It's very short, suitable for soloists and lowbies. Arc #49661.
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Thanks for the detailed writeup, it has helped me huge. I have to say I have had some differences of opinon on a few things, the one boss that you mentioned wasnt so tough was originally an AV, and I had complaints that people couldn't solo her so I bumped her down. After your comments I have repaired all of the spelling errors, made a few changes to the story, and made her an AV once again. I figured there was one at the end already, another in the middle won't change anything. Thanks again, I feel I definately have made things clearer and the story as a whole more enjoyable thanks to your feedback.
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Arc Name: Creepy Crawlers
Arc ID: 82553
Faction: Heroic
Creator Global/Forum Name: Gromar
Difficulty Level: Moderate (one encounter can be rough for squishies).
Level: 41 - 52.
Solo or team?: Solo friendly. Due to the map used large teams aren't recommended.
Synopsis: "This episode of Paragon Theater is a horror story. Watch it ALONE or with a few friends. (The emphasis is on story and atmosphere.)"
Keywords: story, ghost story, horror
Number of missions: 1
Estimated Time to Play: 1 hour at most.
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Hi Gromar, here're my thoughts:
-Initial impressions:
First things are the title and the description, which don't offer a lot of detail, but seem to be priming me for a charming sort of B-movie horror story. Sounds like it could be fun.
-Briefing
The contact is the TV. Looks like I'm watching this movie at home. It doesn't communicate to me the same bizarre, creepy way the villainside contact does. It's just a TV. I'm about to watch a scary late night movie called Creepy Crawlers. A notable dearth of information, which leads me to lower my expectations, anticipating laziness.
-Mission
I can see on the load screen that we're going into the Mother Mayhem abandoned hospital map. Awesome map to use if you're trying to establish a horror-movie mood, though I worry that people may become overreliant on it for that purpose. I've already played one other arc today (the excellent Duality) which also used the map to the same effect.
Mission title is "Watch the Epidode"--you might want to fix that. Objectives are to rescue Billy, Sara, and Danny, find some files, and Nurse Krueger (who I'm supposed to defeat I presume).
Enemies are ghosts. All right. Ghosts in an abandoned hospital. At this point, I'm not sure what I'm doing here. What bad thing happened in this hospital? Why are there ghosts? How did I get here? Did I get transported into my TV somehow? Who are these people I'm trying to rescue? Why am I searching for files? Am I giving this too much thought? I kick the ghosts in the face and move on, looking for:
-something to explain all this
-some original content (i.e., custom critters)
The map's very atmospheric, but a hassle to navigate. Still, I search the first floor thoroughly for fear of overlooking some terrified, helpless teenager. I finally find Danny, and things do take a surprising turn here. I find a clue that gives me an earnest little chill. Nicely done.
New enemies show up. Some Hydra (though in the villain group "Things").
I find Sara, get some chilling imagery, and learn some info. I see now why the briefing was so lean: I'm supposed to go in blind to the situation and piece things together as I go. Okay, cool.
Custom enemies! They're nice and creepy, too! But you should give them descriptions!
On to the second, then third floor.
I find Nurse Krueger before I found Billy or the files. Maybe you should chain the objectives so she only spawns after you've completed the other objectives. As the mish is now, people might skip straight to the end, without experiencing the slow, tension-inducing build of the clues. Nurse Krueger is another standard toon. You should change the name of her group to something else.
I try to avoid Nurse Krueger for now, so as to save her for the end. I find Billy, and another chilling clue. More enemies attack, but not custom critters this time.
I fight Nurse Krueger, but she's a standard toon, so there are no surprises. I'd consider making a custom villain. When she was defeated, she left a clue that I think is redundant, given the other clues I found.
And then I find the final clue and exit, anticlimactically.
-Debriefing:
A succinct denouement, with a final, mysterious twist.
-Overall evaluation:
I went in with low expectations, and found myself liking it! I was sincerely chilled by the various story elements. (It helped that I was playing alone, as opposed to on a team.) Overall this mission is in good shape. It does what it sets out to do: Give the player a short, atmospheric, creepy horror-mystery experience. I think it could use a few tweaks (which I've discussed above) but this mission's a keeper!
Now to plug my arc for a review!
Arc Name: The Dead and the Damned
Arc ID: 87912
Faction: Heroic
Creator Global/Forum Name: @the found boy
Difficulty Level: Medium
Level: 5 - 14.
Note: lowbie arc. Recommend you play on heroic. With a team, if you're squishy. I didn't try to make it difficult, but still have trouble soloing with my scrapper at higher difficulty settings.
Synopsis: When romance blooms between rival gang members on the eve of a major gang war, can love survive? Find out in this romantic comedy set against a gangland backdrop, with an epic cast of Hellions, Skulls, Legacy Chain, ghosts, Longbow, Roman demons, zombie pirates, and you!
Number of missions: 5
Estimated Time to Play: 1 hour
Arc Name: Fallen Angel: Crossing Over
Arc ID: 111352
Faction: Villainous
Creator Global: @twiig
Difficulty Level: Higher levels recommended.. 25+ I'd say.
Synopsis: Arachnos is looking for potential heroes to convert and join Arachnos. Their newest target is an angel, but not for long.
Estimated Time to Play: "Very Long", but should not take more than an hour. Maps are small or medium and only 1 defeat all on a small map.
Note: Made this as a crossing over story for my main hero to become my main villain.
Spent the past week creating, but want to get more eyes on it for error correction and improvement. Some additions to text/dialog still needed.
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Arc Name: The Oblivion Lens
Arc ID: 91897
Faction: Heroic
Time: 45 minutes.
Synopsis: What starts out as a battle against the Circle of Thorns turns into something far more dire when a mysterious artifact is recovered. (Does contain an arch villain in the last mission.)
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I played this last night with my level 31 plant/storm controller. The arc was solo friendly except for the EB at the end (which you are warned about). I had to use a warwolf and a snowman but defeated him.
The custom group is interesting and well thought out. They are defeatable and seemed balanced.
The biggest issues are minor typos and spelling errors. Overall this is a fun arc that's playable in one sitting.
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I have two arcs published. This one may be the more interesting:
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Arc Name: Creepy Crawlers
Arc ID: 82553
Faction: Heroic
Creator Global/Forum Name: Gromar
Difficulty Level: Moderate (one encounter can be rough for squishies).
Level: 41 - 52.
Solo or team?: Solo friendly. Due to the map used large teams aren't recommended.
Synopsis: "This episode of Paragon Theater is a horror story. Watch it ALONE or with a few friends. (The emphasis is on story and atmosphere.)"
Keywords: story, ghost story, horror
Number of missions: 1
Estimated Time to Play: 1 hour at most.
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Thanks a lot for the feedback, I tried to proofread the arc for typos, but it's clear that I didn't do a good enough job. Were their any specific examples of typos or grammar errors that stood out at you?