Arc# 6999 Seekers of the Grail; random thoughts as I play through
The contact is cool looking.
Mission one: Few grammatical errors in the intro. "If this is what I fear I cannot risk being discovered, my brothers..." That comma should be a semicolon or make it two sentences. Same with "I need you to investigate this group, they call..." and "So what say you, will you help me?" I'd make that last one two sentences. Ditto for the text in the intro box upon entering the mission; make it two sentences.
The difficulty seemed reasonable. I wiped out a couple times against the boss, but I'm soloing on yielding. (I'm an illusion/force field controller for the record). I came back in and liberally applied deceive and it went better.
I like the look of the Seekers enemy group.
I'm going to stop pointing out specific grammatical errors; suffice to say that a lot of your sentences either need a semicolon or need to be split into two sentences.
Mission 2: Eww, timed mission. I'm going to skip past most of this with superior invisibility and see if I can take out this elite boss.
And it turns out I can. I like how you built up to him with some minions talking about him in the first mission. I couldn't really keep him held, but I could keep him confused while I beat on him. I had one little unlucky miss streak and he broke out and one-shotted me. I didn't have any active defenses running at all, though.
I noticed that I'm only two missions in and already have four clues. That's cool.
Mission 3: Good choice of maps.
You might want to add a little more to Krieg's description to make it more interesting.
Good use of transitioning from one objective to another with the tome.
I hate the Arthur's Sword minions. I can't hold them! I've gotten much better at dealing with Arthur's Wrath, though. Got to keep them deceived before they can buff up their friends.
I got a bit overwhelmed in the last room with the altar. I expected Krieg to help me, but the lazy jerk just stood there and watched as I got ambushed. When I got back into the mission after being defeated I took control of the situation and wiped 'em all out. There were a lot of baddies in there on Unyielding!
I just noticed the group that Krieg belongs to - the Seekers? That doesn't seem right; I would make a separate group and put him in that. <Recruited Heroes> or something. If you have him listed as a boss in your main enemy group, then when there are more people in the mission, he may show up as a randomly generated boss (I think).
I feel like the "Tome of great value" clue explains a lot of the story, but it's a bit confusing to read. Try to reword some of it to be more clear in what you are trying to say. I think what you're saying is that some villain decided to pose as King Arthur, the historical figure, in order to motivate his crazy thugs by making them think of themselves as knights. Not a bad plot at all, just try to reword this clue. Maybe even consider changing the format to make it seem like you're reading a passage from the tome, though this might be tough to pull off and still have it give all the information that you want it to.
Still seeing quite a few grammar mistakes scattered throughout.
Mission 4: I like the connection to the historical King Arthur.
Big typo in the box that pops upon entering mission 4; it says "Merly" instead of "Merlyn".
Wow. Galahad killed Krieg and then beat me into the ground with one hit. I don't know what kind of defense set he's got, but about 80% of my attacks were deflected.
Came back and beat Galahad. Whatever defense he was using must have worn off, because I was able to keep him chain-held. Sucks that Krieg died - have a feeling I could've used him for fighting Merlyn.
Galahad's name is spelled as "Galasad" in the clue.
Alright, Merlyn wasn't actually that bad for me. I couldn't hold him, but I was able to keep him deceived the entire time. I deceived him and he immediately nova'd and killed all of his support, making my job that much easier.
Consider changing the clue you get from killing Merlyn to actual dialogue from Merlyn before he died rather than just a summary. It could give him some more character to have that villainous diatribe be in his own words.
It just occured to me...what are the Seekers doing that is evil? Seems like we've just been invading their bases and taking them down.
Mission 5: Yikes, gigantic Oranbega map with lots of bosses...I'm using superior invisibility to sneak past this stuff and find Arthur.
Oh man, Arthur was a tough fight solo. I couldn't hold or deceive him for more than a couple seconds at a time. I had to run away a couple times and wait for Phantom Army to recharge. I ended up beating him with about 15% of my life left. I did this without ever freeing Krieg. I just didn't want to look for him on that gigantic map and then have to clear a path to Arthur to bring him along; he wasn't all that much help in the previous mission anyway.
I gave it four stars overall; it's a good arc and most of the enemies are well designed in looks and powers. The plot is pretty good, and would be even better if it were explained more clearly. There are a lot of grammar mistakes and a few typos (the mission 5 complete text says "knew world" instead of "new world"). Clarify what exactly it is that the Seekers are doing that is evil and why they must be stopped since we never see them outside of hanging out in their own base.
Now then...I would LOVE it if someone could give me a review of my arc. It's arc #46405; The Unmaking, Part 1: Entropic Ascension. Depending on what kind of feedback I get (if I get any), I have some ideas in mind for a part 2 and possibly a part 3. Feedback on the story, the difficulty...basically anything and everything! I designed it to be soloable, so if it's too tough in a spot I'd like to know. I've got zero ratings on it right now which is making me sad!
