[ QUOTE ]
Mission:
"Don't rain on my parade!"
Arc ID: 4754
Length: Short
Missions: 1
Genre: Humor
Description: Arachnos had staged a devious kidnapping to disrupt the 23rd annual Freedom Phalanx Parade! Do you have what it takes to save the day?
[/ QUOTE ]
Just finished it, and it's pretty clever. I really like the costume designs, especially on the Destroyer, and you've got some clever dialogue going on with the hostages. The only thing I think it needs is a dastardly villain at the head of the raid, plotting to end the club and cripple the Phalanx's morale. Otherwise, a solid four stars.
Arc:
'If At First You Don't Succeed'
Arc ID: 2894
Length: Very Long (though not really)
Missions: 5 (but quick missions)
Description: A routine mission to stop an Arachnos thief uncovers a mad plot to cripple Paragon City!
We'll always have Paragon.
[ QUOTE ]
Arc:
'If At First You Don't Succeed'
Arc ID: 2894
Length: Very Long (though not really)
Missions: 5 (but quick missions)
Description: A routine mission to stop an Arachnos thief uncovers a mad plot to cripple Paragon City!
[/ QUOTE ]
Good arc with a neat twist.
I have only 2 complaints (I sent this as feedback, but I want to mention it here too in case you miss it there) -
[[[SPOILERS]]]
Trucco seems to already know you when you go back in time to arrest him. Given the situation, he should either be surprised to see you, or maybe confused that you are attacking him (given that the first time he *maybe* saw you was when you prevented his arrest). This is during the time travel bit of course >.<
The other problem is the plot to set Gamma Ray off... needs a bit more explanation. Not a lot, but it felt quite sudden to get back and then suddenly find out IP has been nuked. I'm not sure what to suggest though >.<
Still - really good stuff! I gave it 4 stars; and I want to particularly compliment the "Riot Leader" version of Trucco, he looked exactly like the prisoners until I actually looked really close!
Arc:
'A Super Team Is Born'
Arc ID: 4998
Length: Very Long
Missions: 5 (All but one of which is pretty involved)
Description: Ninja Catpeople Turbo is a brand new team of heroes in Paragon City... they don't seem to quite have their footing just yet.
Can you help them find their place, even if that place might actually be the mall foodcourt?
((Comedy/Drama - It's a Sentai (Power Rangers) spoof with a mild level of seriousness tossed in.))
A Warrior's Friend: ID 335212 - Help Infernal save Valkyrie from Battle Maiden.
Above Mars Part 1: The Wellington: ID 159769 - Save Mars by destroying a monstrous battleship from the inside!
>.> My DA page, where I attempt to art.
[ QUOTE ]
Arc:
'A Super Team Is Born'
Arc ID: 4998
Length: Very Long
Missions: 5 (All but one of which is pretty involved)
Description: Ninja Catpeople Turbo is a brand new team of heroes in Paragon City... they don't seem to quite have their footing just yet.
Can you help them find their place, even if that place might actually be the mall foodcourt?
((Comedy/Drama - It's a Sentai (Power Rangers) spoof with a mild level of seriousness tossed in.))
[/ QUOTE ]
Lesse... on the downside...
- some minor spelling glitches ('funky allow' rather than 'alloy', 'whiping my people into shape' rather than 'whipping', 'its our only lead' rather than 'it's')
- blue spikey guy was in the wrong 'wait' pose (assuming you wanted him in the 'repair' animation from the dialogue)
- no dialogue in the second-last mission (er, aside from Red's 'rescued' dialogue, which was wonderful)?
- Could maybe use a *bit* more dialogue in the missions- inactive rescue dialogue for Red in the latter missions would be cool, and expand the 'feel' of things.
- the Crey Tanks are too thick on the ground. I've got a pretty good guess as to why you did it (their look fits in nicely overall, no?), but they're tough buggers- makes the mission maybe a bit more tedious than it needs to be. I wound up stealthing past most of them because they're annoying to fight- they just take too long to kill.
- The weapons desperately needs to be brightly primary-coloured to match their user.
- I was bitterly disappointed not to see more of the team; they were great, absolutely made the first mission for me.
- Final boss proceeded to nuke my allies the second they showed up, which was a bit annoying >.<
On the upside:
- Loved the costuming design. Absolutely first class, almost scary how close you could get to classic Super Sentai there (although, like I said, the weapons need to match their wielder's colour 
). Beautiful work.
- The dialogue that was there was great; it felt just right, and was really funny, to boot.
- The story was weird- it was a brilliant Sentai spoof... that somehow managed to slot itself neatly into the City of Heroes world in a way that made perfect sense. Excellent work.
Overall? Five stars. I really enjoyed it (although the spelling could use a twitch of polish- everything else was so good that the spelling mistakes stood out like huge, glaring spotlights. Okay, maybe I'm weird, but I notice things like that >.>
Ah, right... my turn.
[u]Arc[u]: 'Small Fears'
Arc ID: 6528
Length: Medium
Missions: 3 (nothing major- medium is a fairly accurate description)
Description: No matter how happy your childhood, there are always a few corners of darkness, little pockets of black fear that every child knows. And now those shadows are expanding. Something is clawing out of the lost childhood of Paragon. Are you ready? Ready to confront the forgotten fears of the nursery?
((It's a horror-themed arc; I really have no idea why that popped out of my brain, but it did; feel free to absolutely savage it, since horror is way outside my normal purview, and it's open to question whether or not I have the faintest clue what I'm doing with it :/))
"A soft answer turneth away wrath. Once wrath is looking the other way, shoot it in the head." Seven Habits of Highly Effective Pirates
MA Arcs: #12285, "Small Fears", #106553, "Trollbane", #12669, "How to Survive a Robot Uprising"
@TeChameleon - Thanks for that <^_^> seriously, very happy you enjoyed it!
we talked about this in-game <,< but I want to mention it for those who were un-aware just as an FYI:
The Crey Tank thing is entirely due to the level of the missions, unfortunately. I'd actually wanted to use the full Crey compliment, but the only Crey above level 46 are tanks <;_;> This was actually annoying to me - though as noted they did fit the 'look' part pretty well! <^_^> But they're a bit too tough to kill to be 'fun' for long.
There's actually a small amount of dialogue that just isn't playing right now due to a few MA bugs: Namely ambushes do not speak <;_;> and patrols are sometimes wonky as well.
That stuff said, I'm going to see what I can do about fixing some of those things up <^_^> The spelling is easily fixed (thank you so much for catching those btw >.< I looked it over several times... but I was pretty tired by the time I finished <x.x> the dialogue bit I'll be looking into as well, the last thing I want is for part of the arc to feel "dead".
The weapon thing btw, is actually intentional <'x'> though I will look into possibly altering it (because if someone is finding it a detractor, it deserves a look!)- but the idea was that unlike 'real' sentai heroes, who get all kinds of crazy powers and weapons... these folks have stuff thats largely cobbled together - they're like Cosplayers but with more firepower <@_@>b (Hence the baseball bat on Green, which is my absolute favorite >_<
Anyways, I'm going to be picking the arc back apart this weekend to tweak some of this stuff up <^_^> I want it as good as possible for when Live hits!
Thanks much Chameleon! (And if anyone else cares to take a look, do let me know what you think <^_^> good or bad, I want to see what's what so that when this goes live, it's as polished as I can make it!)
A Warrior's Friend: ID 335212 - Help Infernal save Valkyrie from Battle Maiden.
Above Mars Part 1: The Wellington: ID 159769 - Save Mars by destroying a monstrous battleship from the inside!
>.> My DA page, where I attempt to art.
[ QUOTE ]
The weapon thing btw, is actually intentional <'x'> though I will look into possibly altering it (because if someone is finding it a detractor, it deserves a look!)- but the idea was that unlike 'real' sentai heroes, who get all kinds of crazy powers and weapons... these folks have stuff thats largely cobbled together - they're like Cosplayers but with more firepower <@_@>b (Hence the baseball bat on Green, which is my absolute favorite >_<
[/ QUOTE ]
So, what, they can't afford spraypaint?
"A soft answer turneth away wrath. Once wrath is looking the other way, shoot it in the head." Seven Habits of Highly Effective Pirates
MA Arcs: #12285, "Small Fears", #106553, "Trollbane", #12669, "How to Survive a Robot Uprising"
[ QUOTE ]
[u]Arc[u]: 'Small Fears'
Arc ID: 6528
Length: Medium
Missions: 3 (nothing major- medium is a fairly accurate description)
Description: No matter how happy your childhood, there are always a few corners of darkness, little pockets of black fear that every child knows. And now those shadows are expanding. Something is clawing out of the lost childhood of Paragon. Are you ready? Ready to confront the forgotten fears of the nursery?
((It's a horror-themed arc; I really have no idea why that popped out of my brain, but it did; feel free to absolutely savage it, since horror is way outside my normal purview, and it's open to question whether or not I have the faintest clue what I'm doing with it :/))
[/ QUOTE ]
I think the first mission could be bugged.
x<(spoilers maybe)>x
I had both kids following me, but when I took them both to the exit it said I still had 1 kid to save.
On a seperate note, I like the look of the monsters. My favorite was the Hallwy Monster.
[ QUOTE ]
[u]Arc[u]: 'Small Fears'
[/ QUOTE ]
This arc has a lot of promise. That said, I won't complete it until it's had some major revisions--particularly the dark clown. Being confused isn't fun--so be careful whenever you include a powerset with confuse.
The outdoor escort mission was likewise no fun, mobs have difficulty with pathfinding on hilly terrain, and after having Mauriline get lost 17 times after I'd only traveled about 15-20 feet because she keeps defaulting to a 'cower' animation rather then moving, I just gave up.
- Some odd quirks of language usage: The use of 'u' in the first mission, and I don't know why the quest-giver keeps saying 'W...'. If it's supposed to be me, why not use $name?
- You don't need to use $number for mission goals. The mission automatically sets the number in front of your text.
- Bullies could probably be toned down a bit. A lieutennant doesn't need to be able to pop unstoppable.
- Be really careful about giving anything a powerset with confuse. Not being able to attack isn't fun. Dark Clowns aren't fun to fight because 1) They confuse, cast superior invis, and fly after you when you try to escape (keeping you confused). If you mean for this to be a difficult arc, that's fine--but it will limit the feedback you get.
I'm sorry I couldn't finish it, I tried--but the first mission is just too frustrating as-is. After talking to you in-game, I think you've got a pretty good idea about why. ;_;
Anyway, if anyone gets the chance, here's my arc:
Master Plan: To Build a Better Doomsday Bomb
Arc ID: 6409
Length: Very Long
It should be soloable, and a lot of objectives are optional and can be skipped. There's also a bunch of 'secret' (optional) bosses in some of the missions, just to shake things up.
Right... made a few tweaks, as you suggested, Ninja. Also fixed the apparent bug you ran into Tim- a third kid actually spawns when you save the other two (he has plot-relevant information, so I didn't want him being found first)- made that clear. The Bullies are staying nasty, though
Oh, and the language-quirks are deliberate. You'll see why
"A soft answer turneth away wrath. Once wrath is looking the other way, shoot it in the head." Seven Habits of Highly Effective Pirates
MA Arcs: #12285, "Small Fears", #106553, "Trollbane", #12669, "How to Survive a Robot Uprising"
So I guess it wasn't bugged. I guess I just messed up, then.
I'm writing this as I play through. SPOILERS PROBABLY AHEAD! I should have realized it would be a villain arc by the name. I was doing fine in the first mish until the lvl jumped up on me. I'm squishy, though, so that's to be expected. I'm having trouble finding the last part, but that's not really your fault, I'm a bad finder. Yup, found it in a really obvious place.
-The first mission was long, but well put together. The map was good. It was at times challanging, but that's a good thing.
The second mission starts with a battle, which I like. More battles.
-Second mission was really good. The battles between Arachnos and Longbow gave it a cool atmosphere and the named Lt. fights were cool.
-Third mission was also cool. The main problem I had with it was like 5 of the terminals were all in one room. I liked getting a cool looking ally, but unfortunately he died.
-I was flying around in the fourth mission when I got mapserved. Hopefully I don't fail. Mission 4 was good once I realized you could enter the warehouse 
I'm pretty dumb.
-5th mission was also cool. I'm wondering, though, Saffron was mentioned, but was never a boss. The last 2 missions have Fuscia as a boss.
Overall, It was very cool. There are a lot of people who think you can't rate anything a 5 because nothing is perfect, but I disagree. Your arc may not be perfect, but it is really entertaining. I was a little hesitant to go into a 5 mission arc, but I'm glad I did.
I almost forgot!
Mysterious Circumstances
Arc ID: 6750
Length: Medium (It's actually pretty short.)
Morality: Heroic
Description: A new villain group has emerged in Paragon City. In this arc you must stop them from robbing a bank and fight their mysterious leader.
It may sound pretty dull, but it's a comedy.
Thanks for the help, mist. I knew there was something quirky with that last mission. All the confusing dialogue has been tweaked, and I added a few statements to better foreshadow Trucco's plans.
And I'll second the comments on your Sentai arc. It's absolutely brilliant, despite the minor spelling errors (Creytech medical gear used for efficiency). A definite five stars.
We'll always have Paragon.
I'm glad I could help Neverdark! <^_^> and thank you!
A Warrior's Friend: ID 335212 - Help Infernal save Valkyrie from Battle Maiden.
Above Mars Part 1: The Wellington: ID 159769 - Save Mars by destroying a monstrous battleship from the inside!
>.> My DA page, where I attempt to art.
[ QUOTE ]
-5th mission was also cool. I'm wondering, though, Saffron was mentioned, but was never a boss. The last 2 missions have Fuscia as a boss.
[/ QUOTE ]
Yeah, Fuscia was originally supposed to be Thugs/Willpower and be yellow-colored (but wound up looking like mustard, so I changed him at the last minute and missed a few references to him. >_<
He was also going to be an elite boss in the final version, but was absolutely devastating with his psi attacks so I brought him back down to boss level to keep the mission winnable.
And yeah--there's something odd about the placement of terminals on that one 5thie map. I'm trying to tweak it, but they always seem to cluster together. >_<
Right... my mission is now #7108, if anybody wants to try the fixed (... I hope? >.> version. Pulled it down and put it back up a few times >.O
"A soft answer turneth away wrath. Once wrath is looking the other way, shoot it in the head." Seven Habits of Highly Effective Pirates
MA Arcs: #12285, "Small Fears", #106553, "Trollbane", #12669, "How to Survive a Robot Uprising"
[ QUOTE ]
Arc: 'Small Fears'
Arc ID: 6528
Length: Medium
Missions: 3 (nothing major- medium is a fairly accurate description)
Description: No matter how happy your childhood, there are always a few corners of darkness, little pockets of black fear that every child knows. And now those shadows are expanding. Something is clawing out of the lost childhood of Paragon. Are you ready? Ready to confront the forgotten fears of the nursery?
((It's a horror-themed arc; I really have no idea why that popped out of my brain, but it did; feel free to absolutely savage it, since horror is way outside my normal purview, and it's open to question whether or not I have the faintest clue what I'm doing with it :/))
[/ QUOTE ]
Definetely better than its last installments, even getting mildly creepy. Mission objective text is way wordy and would be much better placed in clues and contact dialogue, but it's without a doubt getting better.
Mother Mayhem suddenly coming back after just being beaten down in another universe is also a little...loosely plausible. It'd be much better if she showed up with either another Praetorian at her side or at least a bunch of her group.
Okay then, here's mine:
Arc:
'Welcome to Architect Entertainment'
Arc ID: 4019
Length: 'Long'
Missions: 4
Description: A tour of Architect Entertainment, presented provided by none other than Doctor Thaddeus Aeon AQSA
"If I had Force powers, vacuum or not my cape/clothes/hair would always be blowing in the Dramatic Wind." - Tenzhi
Characters
She was supposed to show up with a whole pile of her minions. I think I've fixed that, but I'm not 100% sure >.<
"A soft answer turneth away wrath. Once wrath is looking the other way, shoot it in the head." Seven Habits of Highly Effective Pirates
MA Arcs: #12285, "Small Fears", #106553, "Trollbane", #12669, "How to Survive a Robot Uprising"
Spoilers Below
-Alrighty, the first mission seemed standard, but it had a cool twist, which I liked a lot.
-Second mission was pretty cool, especially with how Dr. Aeon was hiding.
-The Viruses in the next mission were challanging for a squishy like me. The incursions at the end of the mission were cool, but they spawned right around me, which almost killed me. The viruses with force powers made me remember why I play a scrapper.
-Liked the idea of collecting drones before fighting the EB.
Really cool concept. Good execution. Solid 4 of 5.
Also, thanks for the comment Poptart. I'll be expanding that arc. Watch out for Mysterious Circumstances: Redux!
I open the floor to anyone who'd like to post an arc.
[ QUOTE ]
Mysterious Circumstances
Arc ID: 6750
Description: A new villain group has emerged in Paragon City. In this arc you must stop them from robbing a bank and fight their mysterious leader.
[/ QUOTE ]
The enemies are used very well, and nothing's too difficult--but it could use a little more story if you want to capture the comedy you were going for.
Overall average, simply because--while I know you were trying to go for a classic 1970's batman esque vibe... having Supertim along made the elite boss at the end too easy (but not having him would've made it impossible--even if you had to trick the villain into moving in range of Supertim (since Supertim wouldn't move to engage the villain).
A solid arc, overall, but a little more story would've made it worlds better.
Would love to get folk's take on ARC 3361 "Heroism is Good Business"...
... and yes, I've the same problem with the Crey that was already noted.
"City of Heroes. April 27, 2004 - August 31, 2012. Obliterated not with a weapon of mass destruction, not by an all-powerful supervillain... but by a cold-hearted and cowardly corporate suck-up."
Just played through "Small Fears". That was creepy as all getout. The ambush at the end did work by the way. If I had one suggestion, it would be to swap the maps for the first and third missions. I just found the map for the first one to be far creepier.
Okay, my turn.
WALKING WITH DEMONS
Arc ID: 7000
Basically its an arc that attempts to take the popular trope of demons and put them in a more scientific light. As you go through the arc, you learn more about the biology and sociology of demons, and learn that even demons can be tricked.
[ QUOTE ]
Spoilers Below
-Alrighty, the first mission seemed standard, but it had a cool twist, which I liked a lot.
-Second mission was pretty cool, especially with how Dr. Aeon was hiding.
-The Viruses in the next mission were challanging for a squishy like me. The incursions at the end of the mission were cool, but they spawned right around me, which almost killed me. The viruses with force powers made me remember why I play a scrapper.
-Liked the idea of collecting drones before fighting the EB.
Really cool concept. Good execution. Solid 4 of 5.
Also, thanks for the comment Poptart. I'll be expanding that arc. Watch out for Mysterious Circumstances: Redux!
I open the floor to anyone who'd like to post an arc.
[/ QUOTE ]
Thanks for the feedback. Quick question: what do you think I could improve to make it a 5?
"If I had Force powers, vacuum or not my cape/clothes/hair would always be blowing in the Dramatic Wind." - Tenzhi
Characters
I'm not sure there was a lot wrong with it. Also, my ratings reflect my experience. It may be, and probably is, what a lot would consider a 5 out of 5. I would have probably had more fun if I had run it with a team.
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Mysterious Circumstances
Arc ID: 6750
Description: A new villain group has emerged in Paragon City. In this arc you must stop them from robbing a bank and fight their mysterious leader.
[/ QUOTE ]
The enemies are used very well, and nothing's too difficult--but it could use a little more story if you want to capture the comedy you were going for.
Overall average, simply because--while I know you were trying to go for a classic 1970's batman esque vibe... having Supertim along made the elite boss at the end too easy (but not having him would've made it impossible--even if you had to trick the villain into moving in range of Supertim (since Supertim wouldn't move to engage the villain).
A solid arc, overall, but a little more story would've made it worlds better.
[/ QUOTE ]
I went with a bit more story this time arond. Also, I had Super Tim set to 'fight defensive' which was probably the problem. I weakened Super Tim a bit, but he'll probably attack Mysterious Guy now, so hopefully I've worked out the kinks. I'll probably have it re-posted pretty soon.
If anyone is interested in giving my arc a run through I'd appreciate it. It's a level 10-20 Arc that I was able to solo through with my Fire/Fire tank. Below are the details:
"Behind the Burning"
Arc ID: 7155
Length: Long (it's 3 missions (2 outdoor maps), took me about 30 min to complete)
First Published: 3/20/2009
Morality: Heroic
Description: The Hellions are becoming more organized and someone is behind this change. Their arson targets have been more strategic and it appears that they are using them to cover up their real purpose. Find out who is behind this and what they are after.
I just also finished up a 1 mission arc if anyone wants to try it out. Large teams or high settings will produce an AV. Information is below:
"Future on Fire"
Arc ID: 7709
Length: Short (1 mission, boss is an AV or EB depending on settings). There are 3 Vindicator helpers in the mission.
First Published: 3/20/2009
Morality: Neutral
Description: In the not so distant future, Burnin Fury, the evil twin brother of the hero Burnin Up, has defeated every super powered being on earth. The future earth is a burnt, desolate wasteland. It's now up to you, travel to the future and confront him in Atlas Park, the site of his first attack. (40-54)
Thanks for any feed back!
I've ran through a couple of arcs in this thread and sent on comments.
I'm looking for some feedback on my first creation.
Arc ID: 7666
Morality: Hero
Length: Very Long
Missions: 5
Description: Help Mirror Spirit recover something ver close to her.
/whereami:
Mission Arc Critiquing Thread
***
Hey guys! Thought this new section deserved a thread devoted to all of us getting a chance to get feedback on our work!
The way this thread works is you're allowed to post ONE of your arcs for people to look at. The next person to reply will post a critique of your arc, then post one of their own arcs. Then the next person will critique their arc and so forth...
The only rule is to try to keep the critiquing as constructive as possible. We should all be try to be friends in this new endeavor
Also try to keep at least five posts in between a request for another critique. You don't want to hog all of the feedback.
***
Mission:
"Don't rain on my parade!"
Arc ID: 4754
Length: Short
Missions: 1
Genre: Humor
Description: Arachnos had staged a devious kidnapping to disrupt the 23rd annual Freedom Phalanx Parade! Do you have what it takes to save the day?