Mission Arc Critiquing Thread
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Arc Name: The Echo
Arc ID: 18188
Faction: Heroic
Creator Global/Forum Name: MrCaptainMan
Difficulty Level: Easy
Synopsis: A simple rescue reveals a deeper mystery involving a face from the past and a possible plot to destroy the world. Story-heavy 5-mission arc, narrative told mostly via clues. The last mission especially is very story intensive (and until
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I know TeChameleon (And now Dumok) already did this but since this one has gone on for so long without any critiques, I'll review it as well. In case you're curious, I ran this with a claws/regen scrapper.
[u]Mission 1[u]
Briefing:
Pretty decent. It seems like coloring the text to attract attention to the right details might be a good idea, though. Some people do it on names, but I'd recommend just making the warning that the Freaks are the kidnappers a pale green so people know that's the key thing they need to know at the moment.
Content:
<ul type="square">[*]Nice dialogue. You made the Freaks as entertaining as they usually are. I think there's a typo when one of the Freaks asks "Who the drekk" Harold is, though. Isn't it spelled dreck or is this just being similar to En Vogue's "flakkin'" slang?[*] En Vogue's info was a little awkward, mainly because he mentions the guy that paid them early on, talks about the conclave and then suddenly goes back to the guy. This might make it unclear as to which guy he's talking about. I understand you would want to keep the guy's identity until the end to increase the impact but you might still want to revise this. Maybe you could just say something like "The guy that hired us?" If you don't have enough room, though, don't sweat it.[/list]Debriefing:
No problems here. It seems a little weird that a Hero would pay people like the Freakshow to do things like that when there are villain groups who would probably be more reliable. Maybe that'll get explained later.
[u]Mission 2[u]
Briefing:
Fairly good. However, the mission acceptance task seems to suggest that your character already knows that they'll be going after librarians, when the contact only mentions that you'll actually be going to an archiving facility (Instead of just accessing a random computer with the files) in the send off text.
Content:
<ul type="square">[*]Hah! Evil librarians, archivists and janitors! Awesome! They weren't too hard and their powersets are pretty appropriate although it seems weird that angry librarians are empathy defenders. :P I swear that the janitors looked unnatural, though. I think it's their skin color, which looks rather strange for some reason, and their freaky faces. It might just be me, though. Also, they only seem to use their tools once and then use their dark powers from then on. That might just be the cost of having two melee powersets, one of which uses a weapon. Also, the Librarians use the default Frankengun. Did you want that?[*]The different files on the heroes and villains you found were very entertaining. Mother Superior's was particularly hilarious. [*]Nice "ambush" with the head librarian. He spawned right next to me when I got the last file, which is probably more luck than anything. Not sure if the lack of capitalization in his last few lines is on purpose, though.[/list]Debriefing:
Good. The fact that the contact has no reaction at all to the fact that the Librarians tried to kill you is a little strange, though. Is that on purpose? I guess he was probably expecting it, considering his briefing dialogue.
[u]Mission 3[u]
Briefing:
Mostly, no problem. The line "I'm sure if you explain things to the Crey personnel they'll be fine with it." could use a comma after "personnel" though
Content:
<ul type="square">[*]I really like the opening pop-up. It certainly shows the sillier side of Crey well. [*]The clues regarding the Lifesavers' deeds was great, showcasing both incredible heroics and bizarre adventures in under 300 words! I think that "yield" is mispelled and I believe that kangus (As in the Living Kangaroo) should also be capitalized considering it's describing a name. [*]The message from "The Monitor" is interesting. It's hilarious just how over the top it is.... I get the feeling that something's not right about The Monitor going mad, though, but we'll find out soon enough.[/list]Debriefing:
I liked the fact that the contact pointed out the inherent ridiculousness of the Monitor typing out the evil laugh and using FIVE exclamation marks to show his seriousness (Apparently, this is a Discworld reference, but even if I haven't read that, it's still hilarious)! No complaints here.
[u]Mission 4[u]
Briefing:
Nothing really wrong here. The "Still busy" dialogue seems to reference Wallace and Gromit with the whole "Get cracking, Grommit!" line. At least, I assume that's what you're referencing, although grommit also has some meanings too (I'm American, so some of the phrases you use in this arc are lost on me but I won't rate you down on that).
Content:
<ul type="square">[*]The Freaks, as usual, were hilarious and the bios for the individual boxes you had to destroy were even better. I wonder how many people will notice? The one about breaking the fourth wall was probably the best. I noticed that the "scientific doodads" didn't have any custom description, though, which is too bad.[*]When Smiffy (Love the name, by the way) says "or i'm gonna be royally cheesed off..." I think the I in "i'm" needs to be capitalized. [*]Again, hilarious pop-up in the end. I certainly did show them who was boss! [/list]Debriefing:
Again, no problem here. Hooray for saving the world by beating down inanimate objects!
EDIT: Ok, Test is back up so I'll finish the arc.
[u]Mission 5[u]
Briefing:
Again, good. The text message from the Monitor was hilarious. Nice to see you're highlighting the most relevant dialogue in the send off dialogue. However, there was a bit of a typo in that section. The contact suggests " I think you should take them down as they arrive, one at a time, they'll be too much for you en masse." I think that the comma after time should be a period and "they'll be too much for you" should be its own sentence.
Content:
<ul type="square">[*] The taunts broadcasted throughout the mission are certainly creepy, definitely highlighting the fact that the person saying it all is insane.[*] The progressive defeating of each boss to get more clues and eventually draw the final boss out is a novel idea. Kudos on that![*] As I progressed, the contrast between the extremely entertaining Freaks and the progressively more disturbing dialogue from Montieth became more and more apparent. It really was like an emotional seesaw. I do agree with the others that Montieth's story is certainly a departure from the light-hearted feel of the rest of the arc, but it certainly explains his descent into darkness. I think it's fine the way it is, personally.[*] Some typos I noticed: Mr. Kipling says "In fact, i'd say this is easy as pie!" "i'd" should probably be "I'd". Also, Kneepad says "Hey! you ain't a Freak!" I think "you" should probably be capitalized.[*] Sheesh, that was depressing.... Really sad to see he'd make such a plan for that reason. (EDITED at the author's request) The final clue could use some paragraph breaks if possible, though.[/list]Debriefing:
Well, I suppose that does explain a number of things. Still a really sad ending, but the contact does what he can to make you feel better. By the way, Janice is missing capitalization in the final paragraph and I believe the Zig is capitalized too.
[u]Overall[u]
Excellent arc. Very entertaining on the whole, although the mood shifts immensely towards the end. After all the goofiness of the arc, the utterly depressing ending really hits hard. Some people may not like it, but I think it works well. By the way, who the drekk was the Harold guy Janice mentions in the first mission? I don't think he's ever mentioned again. Finally, it sort of bothered me that no one ever seems to refer to you by name. Is that on purpose?
Anyway, my own arc was broken for a while, making it impossible to review. However, I was able to fix it with the latest patch. Thus, I'd like to repost it so people can critique it again.
Arc Name: Soldiers of Fortune
[color= orange]Arc ID:[/color] 8119
Faction: Villainous
Creator Global/Forum Name: @Mekkanos
Difficulty Level: Medium (Involves a custom villain group that is balanced for the middle levels and a slightly difficult Arch-Villain towards the end)
Synopsis: Battle two ruthless mercenary groups for an ancient item of power with the help of some unusual allies! Ideal for people in the 30-35 range.
Estimated Time to Play: About an hour or two, depending on how fast you go through the missions. None are defeat all.
My arcs:
Title: Blitzkrieg
Arc ID: 3416
Title: Soldiers of Fortune
Arc ID: 4431
Title: The Rikti Accession
Arc ID: 278757
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The Echo
Just ran thru the first two missions before test went down for maintenance.
1) I liked the dialogue from the Freaks. I've seen so much Freak chatter over the years that I tend to ignore it but these Freaks are up to something entirely different.
The dialogue from the Boss at the end is pretty good as well as the clue.
2) I agree with Chameleon, the Archivists SOOOOOO need handlebar mustaches.
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LMAO I'm on it. lol you're both SO right.
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Likes: The critters. Fun but not under or overpowered. They fit the theme of the story. (I was totally expecting to enter and have to fight the usual Crey mobs so it was a very pleasant surprise to find these critters.
The "Wrong" computer entries, lol.... You really have to make an arc about the cyborg nuns from the future now. The puns were nice as well.
Dislikes: The Head Librarian's look was all there except the head. Is he supposed to be wearing a robot helmet? I was thinking a Derby would fit just right.
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erm, now that you mention it, I'm not sure what happened there. i made him before the others, I was going to just put him in with a bunch of normal crey. I sort of started out with his head and then got carried away when i discovered that hideous suit he's wearing. I think now i';m kind of partial to his ludicrous helmet. lol. I'll have a look though, it doesn seem a bit bizarre.
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Computers seemed to take an annoyingly long time to activate. When an ambush would happen it would be when the bar still had about 1/4 left to go as well.
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Hm..I didnt put any ambushes in. There's one patrol i think from one of the glowies...
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I'm going to play the 3rd mish after supper and hopefully Test will be back by then.
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Awesome! Its quite late here now unfortunately, and Ive got work early tomorrow, so i might not respond till tomorrow. Thanks v much for playing it and look forward to your further comments.
Eco.
MArcs:
The Echo, Arc ID 1688 (5mish, easy, drama)
The Audition, Arc ID 221240 (6 mish, complex mech, comedy)
Storming Citadel, Arc ID 379488 (lowbie, 1mish, 10-min timed)
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The Echo
Just ran thru the first two missions before test went down for maintenance.
1) I liked the dialogue from the Freaks. I've seen so much Freak chatter over the years that I tend to ignore it but these Freaks are up to something entirely different.
The dialogue from the Boss at the end is pretty good as well as the clue.
2) I agree with Chameleon, the Archivists SOOOOOO need handlebar mustaches.
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LMAO I'm on it. lol you're both SO right.
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Likes: The critters. Fun but not under or overpowered. They fit the theme of the story. (I was totally expecting to enter and have to fight the usual Crey mobs so it was a very pleasant surprise to find these critters.
The "Wrong" computer entries, lol.... You really have to make an arc about the cyborg nuns from the future now. The puns were nice as well.
Dislikes: The Head Librarian's look was all there except the head. Is he supposed to be wearing a robot helmet? I was thinking a Derby would fit just right.
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erm, now that you mention it, I'm not sure what happened there. i made him before the others, I was going to just put him in with a bunch of normal crey. I sort of started out with his head and then got carried away when i discovered that hideous suit he's wearing. I think now i';m kind of partial to his ludicrous helmet. lol. I'll have a look though, it doesn seem a bit bizarre.
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Computers seemed to take an annoyingly long time to activate. When an ambush would happen it would be when the bar still had about 1/4 left to go as well.
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Hm..I didnt put any ambushes in. There's one patrol i think from one of the glowies...
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I'm going to play the 3rd mish after supper and hopefully Test will be back by then.
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Awesome! Its quite late here now unfortunately, and Ive got work early tomorrow, so i might not respond till tomorrow. Thanks v much for playing it and look forward to your further comments.
Eco.
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Maybe it's that his helmet is borderline strange that seems off to me.
It's not in the style of everything else and it's not completely over the top which might be funny and really stand out. As it stands now the first impression I got was either it's a bug or a simple mistake.
Just my .02 on that.
I'm pathetic. I should be critiquing the writing and mission layout and instead I'm hung up on ONE dang helmet.....
QR Dumok: lol no, no, you're right, his helmet IS bizarre. The fact that he's called the HEAD librarian too is making me giggle about it now.
I think I imagined him sort of standing on the balcony of a library or on the control deck of the archive facility using the 'Library HUD' in his helmet to check on late returns etc. Plus, of course, with that helmet on, no-one has ever seen his face...
OMG I'm keeping the helmet and adding to his bio!
LMAO This thread is the best thread evar!
Eco.
MArcs:
The Echo, Arc ID 1688 (5mish, easy, drama)
The Audition, Arc ID 221240 (6 mish, complex mech, comedy)
Storming Citadel, Arc ID 379488 (lowbie, 1mish, 10-min timed)
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Well, the reason Hoarathos gave me so much trouble is because I'm an idiot.
I logged in today and happened to check my challenge rating.... and it's on Relentless (5).
Like I said, I'm an idiot.
Going to go at it again tonight on lowest setting.
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Ah, yeah, I could see that causing trouble. I will say, though, even if you lower the difficulty, take a long a team. I'd like feedback on team runthrough now that I've adjusted things a little in the second and third missions.
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Arc Name: The Summoning
Arc ID: 18411
Faction: Heroic
Creator Global\Forum Name: On Test & Live\@theexiled:Forum\ @the_exiled
Difficulty Level: 1-54
Synopsis: Investigate disturbances going on in the magical community. Solo-able at CL 3; suggest a team of two at CL 4 & 5
Estimated Time to Complete: 1.5 hours
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I soloed this one on my level 50 DM/FA Brute at difficulty 2 in about 30 minutes.
There is a good foundation here, but it needs a lot of work and polish.
<ul type="square">[*]If this is a Heroic arc, then why is the contact a Mu Archmage? Some explanation would be good here.[*]Too many defeat all missions. Was there really any reason that I had to defeat all of the CoT in that warehouse? When I was needing to check those three safes in the office with the Council (why were they in an office again?) is there any reason I need to defeat all of them as well?[*]Some custom enemies seemed a bit unneeded, especially as they didn't fit the theme of the groups you inserted them into. Mage Cammas doesn't look like a CoT mage and I don't see why a regular one couldn't have stood in, especially as you never see Cammas again. That Enforcer guy in the Council mission didn't look at all like Council and didn't add anything to the story either.[*]Speaking of the Council, what were they doing in this arc anyways? The Council isn't a magical group and they are acting pretty out of character in this story.[*]Your custom faction, the Legion of Shadow, comes out of nowhere in the 3rd and final mission. There should be some build up to these guys appearing. Maybe the entire arc should be them vs the CoT since the Council don't really fit in.[*]Some CoT vs Legion battles in the 3rd mission would add a lot of flavor. It seems like the CoT simply gave up after the first mission and went off to do something unrelated.[*]That "canyon" room at the end of the 3rd mission was not an ideal spot for having those two EBs spawn sequentially. Problem mostly was that in my run, Bloodhorn spawned in one of the out of the way rooms and I had to go searching for him since he spawned out of sight.[*]Some more explanation for Captain Entropy being there at all in mission 3 would be good. Not only does he seem out of place, being obviously a science-themed hero, but he should probably also be an optional objective since not everyone will need help with the EBs. In my case, he turned them both into total pushovers with his debuffs.[/list]
Address those issues and I think you'll have a nice mini-arc.
Now, up for review!
Arc Name: The Amulet of J'gara
Arc ID: 16977
Faction: Tuatha de Dannon, Circle of Thorns, Void Demons
Creator Global Name: @Lazarus
Difficulty Level: Medium
Synopsis: A pair of Midnighters have disappeared while on a mission to Croatoa. What begins as a rescue leads to an assault on the Midnight Club itself and a battle for your own mind and soul. (AV present, Allies are provided.)
Mission Count: 4
Estimated Time to Play: 25-45 minutes
I'm currently testing some improved allies in the 4th mission. I'd most like to know if they make the AV too easy or don't help enough. Also, be sure to list your level, archetype, and primary/secondary so I can put such feedback into perspective.
These are my first serious attempts at an arc. I'd appreciate your feedback. Thanks.
Arc Name: World in Chaos (Part 1/2): Battle of the Pantheons
Arc ID: 18894
Faction: Heroic
Creator Global/Forum Name: Star Spangled Shield
Difficulty Level: Level 35-50
Features: 5 missions, ambush, patrols, battles, custom allies, custom enemy groups and an AV.
Synopsis: Assist Imperious with a new threat to his Cimeroran Kingdom. Old foes return and have added a powerful new ally. Explore the mythology and epic heroes of the Roman age.
Arc Name: World in Chaos (Part 2/2) : Honor and Redemption
Arc ID: 18713
Faction: Heroic
Creator Global/Forum Name: Star Spangled Shield
Difficulty Level: Level 35-50
Features: 5 missions. Ambush, patrols, battles, custom allies, custom enemy groups and AVs.
Synopsis: Imperious has sent you on a perilous journey to the north, where you attempt to end the battle started in the prior arc. A hostile contact becomes an ally, as the two of you battle an ancient enemy based on Norse mythology.
Best experienced with a full group.
131430 Starfare: First Contact
178774 Tales of Croatoa: A Rose By Any Other Name ( 2009 MA Best In-Canon Arc ) ( 2009 Player Awards - Best Serious Arc )
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Arc Name: The Amulet of J'gara
Arc ID: 16977
Faction: Tuatha de Dannon, Circle of Thorns, Void Demons
Creator Global Name: @Lazarus
Difficulty Level: Medium
Synopsis: A pair of Midnighters have disappeared while on a mission to Croatoa. What begins as a rescue leads to an assault on the Midnight Club itself and a battle for your own mind and soul. (AV present, Allies are provided.)
Mission Count: 4
Estimated Time to Play: 25-45 minutes
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Overall very good.
- First mish rescue D'Aartier says "Someone found me" and the CoT say "We have been found!" Not wrong, but read a bit odd.
- Mish 2 Intro "...have managed to scry"
- I like the last map and villain group
- May want to expand a bit on boss text.
Mine
Arc Name: Trademark Infringement
Arc ID: 12544
Creator Global Name: @Wrong Number
Difficulty Level: Easy-Medium
Synopsis: We all know villains are not a very creative lot. Take over the world, pull the moon out of orbit....yada, yada, yada. It's no surprise that they keep the trademark lawyers very busy or that one of the lawyers has finally cracked. He needs to be stopped before this city is sued out existence!
Mission Count: 1
Estimated Time to Play: 15 minutes
Check out one of my most recent arcs:
457506 - A Very Special Episode - An abandoned TV, a missing kid's TV show host and more
416951 - The Ms. Manners Task Force - More wacky villains, Wannabes. things in poor taste
or one of my other arcs including two 2010 Player's Choice Winners and an2009 Official AE Awards Nominee for Best Original Story
Just finished The Echo
Overall a very good arc. I actually like the gut wrenching twist at the end.
My only real complaint is the last mission I ended up running all over the map several times trying to find the Boss spawns. It got old very fast. Maybe have all the spawn points in the front or just in the back.
I'd recommend this arc on the NPC dialog alone though. Most of the little tidbits found thru NPC chatter and the clues are pure gold.
Now on to try and find a team for Stormy_Defender's arc.
If I end up runing solo I'll probably run...
Arc Name: The Amulet of J'gara
Arc ID: 16977
Faction: Tuatha de Dannon, Circle of Thorns, Void Demons
Creator Global Name: @Lazarus
Difficulty Level: Medium
Synopsis: A pair of Midnighters have disappeared while on a mission to Croatoa. What begins as a rescue leads to an assault on the Midnight Club itself and a battle for your own mind and soul. (AV present, Allies are provided.)
Mission Count: 4
Estimated Time to Play: 25-45 minutes
PS: I see a ton of heroes running arcs so to get a different perspective I am running arcs with a Thugs/Pain MM.
EDIT: I republished my arc
Dark Dreams
Arc ID: 18914
Length: Medium
Morality: Heroic
Mission 1: Unique map, level range 1-54, Contains Ambush, Release Captive, Ally.
Mission 2: Unique map, level range 45-54, Contains Ambush, Boss( 2 AVs encountered seperately), Ally
Enemy Groups: Custom
Description: A frantic 911 call about shadowy monsters invading an office building during their annual Father/Son Day sets off a story of where these strange monsters came from and why they are so interested in a young boy named Seth McNiel. (Tried to make it solo friendly).
I did Dark Dreams yesterday and it was pretty nice, I liked the custom mobs. It was a little hard though when I tried it with my 32 Dominator, 1 enemy killed me.
I also remember seeing some typos. You should add more clues or explantions too, it was hard to understand why some of the characters were there. Explanations are better in clues too.
Overall, I liked it, had fun.
Here's mine: (STILL HAVEN'T GOTTEN A REVIEW FROM THIS POST!) I did wait 5 posts :P
It's ready!
Birth of a Fossil
Arc ID: 18632
Length: Very Long
Morality: Heroic
Plot: A long time ago... Dragons ruled the world. No one knows what happened to them. Now, a fossil of one of the greatest has been found. Who shall claim it's power? Be the hero that caused the birth of the villain Fossil Dragon!
Author: @PartyClown
I've just completed my very first arc and I'd like some comments on story, difficulty and writing, especially syntax as I tend to use some french ones. I'd also need some technical testing if possible.
Thanks in advance! Hope you like it and have fun!
P.S. Terribly sorry about the circle maps but it was fitting story-wise!
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Arc Name: The Amulet of J'gara
Arc ID: 16977
Faction: Tuatha de Dannon, Circle of Thorns, Void Demons
Creator Global Name: @Lazarus
Difficulty Level: Medium
Synopsis: A pair of Midnighters have disappeared while on a mission to Croatoa. What begins as a rescue leads to an assault on the Midnight Club itself and a battle for your own mind and soul. (AV present, Allies are provided.)
Mission Count: 4
Estimated Time to Play: 25-45 minutes
I'm currently testing some improved allies in the 4th mission. I'd most like to know if they make the AV too easy or don't help enough. Also, be sure to list your level, archetype, and primary/secondary so I can put such feedback into perspective.
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Typo: Midnight Club Raid mission
NPC dialogue: "We won't let your plunder this place!"
should be "We won't let you plunder this place!"
I liked the missions. Wasn't really a bad one in the bunch. I like how it went with the twist. I really liked the last mish.
The critters in the last mission are scaringly similiar to what I used in my arc.... guess I wasn't as original as I thought.
The last mission could use a bit more fluff I think. The NPC allies could use a bit more in the descriptions is all.
Love the ambiance of that last mission though. Spot on what you were shooting for.
Overall I give it 4 stars. I give it 4 stars because I think this arc could be polished even more and fully filled out and be amazing. I hope you continue working on it as I think it's a diamond in the rough right now.
Will recommend to friends and even play again probably.
Note: Cleverly done with the book on the alter in the second mish. Normally you think you are clicking on the alter to get the clue or whatever. It wasn't till I saw the clue that I realized that I had read the book on top of the alter. Bravo sir, bravo.
(It's the small things that get me.)
Mine
Arc Name: Trademark Infringement
Arc ID: 12544
Creator Global Name: @Wrong Number
Difficulty Level: Easy-Medium
Synopsis: We all know villains are not a very creative lot. Take over the world, pull the moon out of orbit....yada, yada, yada. It's no surprise that they keep the trademark lawyers very busy or that one of the lawyers has finally cracked. He needs to be stopped before this city is sued out existence!
Mission Count: 1
Estimated Time to Play: 15 minutes
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A very funny and light hearted one-shot arc. Good for a quick laugh. I like Ms. Manners as being the contact and the mini bios on each guy were very creative.
My only complaint was that once you've seen all the unique characters, the joke starts to loose its novelty. Depending on how much space you have left, you may be able to add some elements to spice it up. I'd love to see a battle element where the wannabees are fighting over the rights to a specific and super-generic name, or something like that.
Overall a very fun and quick play.
I noticed in your bio that you had a different arc that involved the star of a children's TV show.
As cooincence has it, I too have an arc about a children's TV show and would like some feedback on it.
Arc Name: Kidnapping Kelly the Kow
Arc ID: #19224
Faction: Crey, Kelly the Kow & Friends (The production staff at the studio), Arachnos
Creator global Name: @Pinstar (@Azia1 in test)
Difficulty Level: Medium-high (EB in 1 mission. Ambush heavy final mission soloable by many but not all classes)
Synopsis: A young and very wealthy child approaches your villain and offers a rather large sum of money to Kidnap the star of the hit children's television show "Kelly the Kow & Friends". The child is such a fan he wants the star in person to be his own personal entertainer, rather than waiting for the weekly episodes to air. As the arc unfolds you begin to learn of Crey's involvement in the show.
Mission Count: 3
Estimated Play Time: 1 hour, give or take
Going to pop these up again, since they've dropped into oblivion without a review-
Arc Name: "Small Fears"
Arc ID: #7108
Creator Global Name: @Experiment DBWP (@Wall of Knight on live)
Difficulty Level: Moderate- there are a couple of EBs involved.
Synopsis: No matter how happy your childhood, there are always a few corners of darkness, little pockets of black fear that every child knows. And now those shadows are expanding. Something is clawing out of the lost childhood of Paragon. Are you ready to confront the fears of the nursery? (tough to solo)
(If you've already run this... I wouldn't worry about it too much- things have changed, but the general feel should be about the same.)
Arc Name: How to Survive a Robot Uprising
Arc ID: #18226
Creator Global Name: @Experiment DBWP (@Wall of Knight on live)
Difficulty Level: Fairly Tough. It's doable, there are allies scattered throughout, but it's not easy.
Synopsis: Something strange is happening with the AIs of Paragon City; DATA has asked you to look into it. Your natural first stop, Citadel, got nothing. Until you noticed that you had a new message on your service... from Citadel! telling you to visit a certain warehouse in Steel Canyon... (solo-UNfriendly)
Will add a review here later on in.
"A soft answer turneth away wrath. Once wrath is looking the other way, shoot it in the head." Seven Habits of Highly Effective Pirates
MA Arcs: #12285, "Small Fears", #106553, "Trollbane", #12669, "How to Survive a Robot Uprising"
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Dark Dreams
Arc ID: 18914
Length: Medium
Morality: Heroic
Mission 1: Unique map, level range 1-54, Contains Ambush, Release Captive, Ally.
Mission 2: Unique map, level range 45-54, Contains Ambush, Boss( 2 AVs encountered seperately), Ally
Enemy Groups: Custom
Description: A frantic 911 call about shadowy monsters invading an office building during their annual Father/Son Day sets off a story of where these strange monsters came from and why they are so interested in a young boy named Seth McNiel. (Tried to make it solo friendly).
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Loved the custom group, really well done and put together, put mine to shame. The two maps really fit the atmosphere you set for the story, wonderfully chosen. The story is almost exactly in concept to an arc I'm working on now actually, which was a plus . Its length kinda restricts the story though (how did the first boss in the second mission find out about... you know?) and I also felt the ambush after you get the ally was a little excessive (thankfully, I did it at the end).
Edit: Ahh forgot to post mine up.
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Arc Name: Heaven's Not Enough
Arc ID: 16590
Creator: @Shwarze Sonne (on test)
Alignment: Heroic
Difficulty Level: Challenging. The custom mobs are designed to be challenging, but at the same time not impossible. Multiple boss fights in missions 3 and 5 as well as an AV (downgraded EB when solo) as the final fight. Recently added an optional ally.
Synopsis: Miriam Bloelch has need of your help again. She has sent an old hero friend of hers against the Circle of Thorns and now her friend requires that she be rescued. A mystery quickly develops as the Banished Pantheon prepare themselves for battle as well.
Number of Missions: 5
Length: It should take a little over an hour, only one defeat all, but the map has a total of 7 or so spawns.
Thank you.
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The last mission could use a bit more fluff I think. The NPC allies could use a bit more in the descriptions is all.
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Well considering that they are just personifications of aspects of your personality, there isn't really anything more I can put in the descriptions.
Your groups are nice and creepy too, however I rage-quit during your "Dark Dreams" arc when that ambush of 4 extreme Plant/Dark Miasma bosses occurred. Totally unwinnable and not fun at all, had so many tar patches on me that my resistance numbers dropped below -60% and all the heals from the Bosses, Twilight Servants, and eventually Spirit Trees made them unkillable. That event totally killed the arc for me and I'll never play it again if that is still in there.
Thanks for the feedback.
Lazarus also pointed out one of my bigger oops moments in that arc.
In one of the ambushes it's supposed to be Lt. (hard/hard) mob and instead I entered in an older version Boss (hard/extreme). Doh!
Went back and fixed that brainfart as well as fluffed out some clues and other stuff.
Been thinking of adding 1 more mission to that arc in the middle to try and explain how "M" discovers the kid but not quite sure how to do it just yet.
EDIT: Very sorry about that Lazarus.
On a related note, ideally I'd like that ambush to be just one single critter that's decently challenging but nothing to worry over. I can't seem to get single critter ambushes though. Am I overlooking something on how to do that?
[ QUOTE ]
In one of the ambushes it's supposed to be Lt. (hard/hard) mob and instead I entered in an older version Boss (hard/extreme). Doh!
[/ QUOTE ]
I had hoped that it was something like that, the arc had been going very nicely and then WHAM!
Also, I ran into a bug that is probably out of your control since I've seen it occur once in the burning office map, where Emerald Star got stuck in the elevator if you used one of the lifts at the back of the room.
[ QUOTE ]
Arc Name: How to Survive a Robot Uprising
Arc ID: #18226
Creator Global Name: @Experiment DBWP (@Wall of Knight on live)
Difficulty Level: Fairly Tough. It's doable, there are allies scattered throughout, but it's not easy.
Synopsis: Something strange is happening with the AIs of Paragon City; DATA has asked you to look into it. Your natural first stop, Citadel, got nothing. Until you noticed that you had a new message on your service... from Citadel! telling you to visit a certain warehouse in Steel Canyon... (solo-UNfriendly)
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Posting my thoughts as I run this (solo, lv 50 bs/wp scrapper).
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*The contact's got personality. I like that
*Heh, I was surprised to be going up against lv 54 foes even though I was set to heroic (for speed purposes, of course). Granted, that's not a problem for me
*Didn't have much trouble with the cataphract. Of course, the NPC ally was right next to him, so I saved him. The holds, speed boosts, and singularity made the fight a breeze.
*in the debriefing, you forgot to put a space between "brain" and "glitch"
*I like the NPC dialogue. Its fun.
*The HVAS was a bit easy for my character with the Arbiter and the multiple lieutenants shooting at it
*Ooh, the malta humans VS titans fights look pretty, lol
*Yo, what's the name of the map you used in the 4th mission? I've been looking everywhere for that one
*Back to the 54's I see, nice
*Bleh, ran into my first bit of pain. The big arachnos bot hits hard >.< Try 2: Yeah, this guy does massive damage. Took a third try to bring him down
*Just as an fyi, a lot of the battles in the fourth mission completed before I could get to them. /shrug
*In the briefing before the last mission, the contact suggests that one call in other heroes. But, MA takes place in a task force setting so...
*Oh why must the robots disapprove of Bernie's love for the coffee-maker!?
*The repair bots are dangerous with their end drain. Nice. Though that has the potential to tear through teams. And bleh, just had to deal with 3 at once. I hate running away.
*** Um, just as an fyi, the laptop at the end was untargettable. Unfortunately for some reason if there's a destructable object behind something in a chain of events (I.E. the laptop) its untargettable by the player for some reason. Luckily I happend to come across an NPC ally next to it that WAS able to destroy it, but if the ally were not there I would not have been able to finish the mission. Also, the other NPC allies I came across tended to be a bit "squishy", so its a possibility that a player may not have any NPC allies at the end to help with the laptop. Don't get me wrong, I like where you wanted to go with the break 3 mainframes and then break the computer, but there is the issue with that laptop.
I'm not going to give your arc a rating right now because though it was quite enjoyable, that issue with the laptop at the end ought to be remedied. That said, I liked the menagerie of robotic opponents present throughout the arc.
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I would like some feedback on the following arc:
Adventures of the Space Marines 2
Arc # 19159
Length: Very Long (4 Missions. About an hour)
Morality: Neutral
Story: "Adventures of the Space Marines 2" is a sci-fi adventure in which the player fights along side the Space Marines as they fend off a mysterious alien race, protect a VIP, and battle the nefarious Space Pirates!
Enemies: Custom. 2 AV/EBs
Thanks for the review, Flying_Carcass-
The 'brainglitch' lack-of-spacing thing was deliberate- it's part of a larger scattering of hints at something (check your souvenir clue)
You can pick up some buddies to face down the big Arachnobot (there are a couple of PPD Unleashed... or something like that... scattered about to be rescued if you want)- I just fed them to it while I pounded away from a distance. Their self-rez was rather handy against it
The map in the Fourth Mission was just 'Cargo Ship: Medium' with one specific one (with three rooms, I think?) picked out.
Yeah, not much I can do about the battles finishing before you get there in the Fourth Mission- technically, they're not even supposed to start until you get there. And watching the Malta kill one another does your heart good, doesn't it? *evilgrin*
You can actually call in more people to your MA missions if the need arises- I've done it numerous times. Although you can't trade off leadership, much to my displeasure. It's also another hint that yeah, there's still more allies in this one.
The laptop thing is very strange- I hope you /bugged it. It actually worked fine when I ran through- I blew it to tiny pieces without incident
EDIT- Apparently this is a known bug- gotta take out the guys around it, and it'll become targettable.
So, I started with the first Space Marines Adventure- hit the comp, and my first thought upon seeing the ally was "Aren't you a little short for a Stormtrooper?"
Unstoppable Monster. O... kay?
Second Mission- Okay, second briefing and I already never, ever want to hear the contact say 'Hoorah' again.
Sgt. Crakers uses a plain ol' Composite bow? I'm vaguely disappointed...
... mission complete? Uhm... okay? Guess my 'boys' are busy... somewhere...
Mission debriefing- 'apparently the Emperess...'- should be "Empress"
Third Mission- Stryjax... freaky little buggers. Especially when they basically double in size by popping spines out of everywhere O.o
Okay, I get that Captain Batalia is supposed to be seriously kick-butt, but towing an EB through that mission feels somewhat like overkill :/
Fourth mission- Hmm... maybe we're using different definitions of 'overrun'? For some reason, all the maps so far (aside from the first one >.> feel weirdly barren. Admittedly, I'm running on heroic, given that I'm a solo squishy.
Freedom Fighters look weirdly like Sgt. Crakers- so much so that my first reaction was 'didn't I rescue this guy already?'
Chained objectives on this kind of map kind of suck when you're not sure whether to go up or down... la la la, wandering in circles...
Okay, finally found her, tucked away in a corner in one of those little side-office things. Thorntrops do really, really annoying things to allies. Was wondering why they suddenly decided it was time to jog out of the room and stare into the middle distance.
Fourth Mission- *grumble* More 'hoorahs'. Want to smack the contact one.
No bio for the Pyschic Guardians?
Overall, good stuff. On to number two!
I rather like the Globian Attacker design. Not entirely clear what they're doing hanging out on the rooftops, but hey, no worries.
Gah... my Space Marine pet decided to brawl the gift for the governor. That went well.
No dialogue for the Captain when she's rescued?
Mission two- Odd. The Captain's in the 'hostage hands over head' position, but there's no enemies nearby (although I did catch one fading out... did the friendly Globians kill 'em?)
Space Trader designs are kinda cool too- like the little cloud effect around their ankles.
Ergh... it registered me 'finding' the trader without my ever laying eyes on him. Then the ambush killed me. Still have no idea where he is >.<
Okay, finally found the trader- and he was in the 'hostage kneeling' position too, again with no hostiles around. Looked kind of weird.
Hrm. Dragging this idiot across a gigantic map is a bit meh... I mean, it makes sense, but it's kind of boring.
The 'blue armoured bloke' pops up far enough away that it's a bit of a trick to find him- dug him up after a few seconds searching, but it left me wondering how the heck Batalia spotted him.
Mission Three- OUCHIE. Got knocked into half a dozen baddies at once and diced.
... Chikan Privateer. Oh dear.
Once again, mission complete while I'm... somewhere else. Nice to have competent allies, I guess, but it's a bit unnerving
Alrighty, on to Mission Four: hmm... y'know, with repetition... "The Space Pirate King" is a bit of a mouthful- maybe "The King of the Space Pirates"?
Caves. *sigh*
Captain Drakeson- "My treasure, not your's..."- got an extra apostrophe in there.
"Return to the Ship"? Uh... okay? Where am I going?
Grr... okay, got killed by the self-rezzed Captain Drakeson, tried to come back in, the next EB saw through my stealth and snuffed me on my way back in. Yay -_-
Alrighty, then... after the fifth time of dropping Captain Drakeson, and actually getting a good look at him somewhere in there (I had to make sure he stayed dead so I could actually pry Batalia away from there to help with the next EB), I've gotta say, he's probably the weakest of your designs, in my opinion. Something about him just doesn't do it for me- the gold-and-purple makes sense in the whole 'gaudy pirate captain' way, but... eh, not sure what it is (although the green grin really doesn't help >.>
*grumble* CAVES!
Bosses with Unstoppable and Self-heals are impressively irritating. Even with Batalia, I had to pop Eye of the Magus.
... The END? What!?!
Hrm... okay, OVERALL:
A fun little romp. Solidly written, not too difficult, so as to be reasonably solo-friendly... uh, normally- the EBs at the end were kind of irritating... well-designed, creative use of the maps... yup, Five stars. I liked it- the minor issues I pointed out didn't particularly detract from anything, just stuff you might want to fix.
"A soft answer turneth away wrath. Once wrath is looking the other way, shoot it in the head." Seven Habits of Highly Effective Pirates
MA Arcs: #12285, "Small Fears", #106553, "Trollbane", #12669, "How to Survive a Robot Uprising"
Ok, now that the Boss ambush issue was fixed, I was able to finish "Dark Dreams".
Nice custom foes, I like the dark fey theme. Good choice of maps.
Bugs:
* The contact says that Thunderhead is already inside. The hero inside is named Shockriot.
* Shockriot's electric field kills his captors, resulting in me getting a clue out of nowhere and an ambush at the door. If the ambush was intended, I'd remove the clue since it makes it look like an obvious bug.
* Emerald Star is useless past the first floor since she keeps getting stuck in the elevator on that floor. I can reproduce this bug over and over, she gets stuck trying to fly into the doors of the far back elevator but never moves. Maybe try removing her flight power?
* The contact says for the second mission that some heroes already went in but the only one I found was Emerald Star. Is Malaise supposed to count?
* The Dark Oak ambush is beatable now, but still annoying. The issue here was they spawned on a set of stairs, and with all the roots making me unable to jump and all those Carrion Creepers I had to kill every creeper in my way as I slowly ran into meelee range, making it a long fight.
Nitpicks:
* The first mission feels like it should be an escort. I know people hate them, but with the ambushes being trigger when he's freed, how is he supposed to make it back down 5 floors to escape?
* Seth is somewhat useless of an Ally against these foes. I know Illusion is thematically appropriate for him, but these foes are all resistant to Psi damage and fear, so he makes rather little impact during the fight with the Shadow Beast.
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[ QUOTE ]
Arc Name: The Echo
Arc ID: 18188
Faction: Heroic
Creator Global/Forum Name: MrCaptainMan
Difficulty Level: Easy
Synopsis: A simple rescue reveals a deeper mystery involving a face from the past and a possible plot to destroy the world. Story-heavy 5-mission arc, narrative told mostly via clues. The last mission especially is very story intensive (and until
[/ QUOTE ]
I know TeChameleon (And now Dumok) already did this but since this one has gone on for so long without any critiques, I'll review it as well. In case you're curious, I ran this with a claws/regen scrapper.
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Cheers v much. I've publisghed the final version now, so I wanted to respond one more time before i move onto my next arc.
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[u]Mission 1[u]
Briefing:
Pretty decent. It seems like coloring the text to attract attention to the right details might be a good idea, though. Some people do it on names, but I'd recommend just making the warning that the Freaks are the kidnappers a pale green so people know that's the key thing they need to know at the moment.
[/ QUOTE ]
I've done this for every mission briefing now.
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Content:
<ul type="square">[*]Nice dialogue. You made the Freaks as entertaining as they usually are. I think there's a typo when one of the Freaks asks "Who the drekk" Harold is, though. Isn't it spelled dreck or is this just being similar to En Vogue's "flakkin'" slang?
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Yeah, it was supposed to just be Freak slang, not a reference to Dreck, so I've changed it to 'brakk'
[ QUOTE ]
[*] En Vogue's info was a little awkward, mainly because he mentions the guy that paid them early on, talks about the conclave and then suddenly goes back to the guy. This might make it unclear as to which guy he's talking about. I understand you would want to keep the guy's identity until the end to increase the impact but you might still want to revise this. Maybe you could just say something like "The guy that hired us?" If you don't have enough room, though, don't sweat it.[/list]
[/ QUOTE ]
I added a bit to the debrirfing making it more obvious that Harold is Janices husband (I thought it was obvious enough in retrospect from what she says before she's rescued, but...
Also removed the bit about 'the handoff guy', as its irrelevant really, and then there's no split reference to 'the guy'
[ QUOTE ]
Debriefing:
No problems here. It seems a little weird that a Hero would pay people like the Freakshow to do things like that when there are villain groups who would probably be more reliable. Maybe that'll get explained later.
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I hope the final missions debriefing explains this.
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[u]Mission 2[u]
Briefing:
Fairly good. However, the mission acceptance task seems to suggest that your character already knows that they'll be going after librarians, when the contact only mentions that you'll actually be going to an archiving facility (Instead of just accessing a random computer with the files) in the send off text.
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Good point. I added a reference to the Archive Facility in the briefing so it flows better. I really like the 'Crey Librarians? No problem!' Player acceptance line lol, so i wanted to keep it.
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Content:
<ul type="square">[*]Hah! Evil librarians, archivists and janitors! Awesome! They weren't too hard and their powersets are pretty appropriate although it seems weird that angry librarians are empathy defenders. :P I swear that the janitors looked unnatural, though. I think it's their skin color, which looks rather strange for some reason, and their freaky faces. It might just be me, though. Also, they only seem to use their tools once and then use their dark powers from then on. That might just be the cost of having two melee powersets, one of which uses a weapon. Also, the Librarians use the default Frankengun. Did you want that?
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Completely forgot I could customise the weapon lol. Cheers. Ive altered it now so they've got a cooler looking one. Also lightened the janitors skintones, i think they look better now.
[ QUOTE ]
[*]The different files on the heroes and villains you found were very entertaining. Mother Superior's was particularly hilarious. [*]Nice "ambush" with the head librarian. He spawned right next to me when I got the last file, which is probably more luck than anything. Not sure if the lack of capitalization in his last few lines is on purpose, though.
[/ QUOTE ]
he's the head Librarian - quiet is a priority with him [ QUOTE ]
[/list]Debriefing:
Good. The fact that the contact has no reaction at all to the fact that the Librarians tried to kill you is a little strange, though. Is that on purpose? I guess he was probably expecting it, considering his briefing dialogue.
[/ QUOTE ]
yeah, I fiigure everyone knows that ANY Crey facilitys gonna have security.
[ QUOTE ]
[u]Mission 3[u]
Briefing:
Mostly, no problem. The line "I'm sure if you explain things to the Crey personnel they'll be fine with it." could use a comma after "personnel" though
Content:
<ul type="square">[*]I really like the opening pop-up. It certainly shows the sillier side of Crey well. [*]The clues regarding the Lifesavers' deeds was great, showcasing both incredible heroics and bizarre adventures in under 300 words! I think that "yield" is mispelled and I believe that kangus (As in the Living Kangaroo) should also be capitalized considering it's describing a name. [*]The message from "The Monitor" is interesting. It's hilarious just how over the top it is.... I get the feeling that something's not right about The Monitor going mad, though, but we'll find out soon enough.[/list]Debriefing:
I liked the fact that the contact pointed out the inherent ridiculousness of the Monitor typing out the evil laugh and using FIVE exclamation marks to show his seriousness (Apparently, this is a Discworld reference, but even if I haven't read that, it's still hilarious)! No complaints here.
[u]Mission 4[u]
Briefing:
Nothing really wrong here. The "Still busy" dialogue seems to reference Wallace and Gromit with the whole "Get cracking, Grommit!" line. At least, I assume that's what you're referencing, although grommit also has some meanings too (I'm American, so some of the phrases you use in this arc are lost on me but I won't rate you down on that).
[/ QUOTE ]
Wallace & Gromit was indeed the reference.
[ QUOTE ]
Content:
<ul type="square">[*]The Freaks, as usual, were hilarious and the bios for the individual boxes you had to destroy were even better. I wonder how many people will notice? The one about breaking the fourth wall was probably the best. I noticed that the "scientific doodads" didn't have any custom description, though, which is too bad.[*]When Smiffy (Love the name, by the way) says "or i'm gonna be royally cheesed off..." I think the I in "i'm" needs to be capitalized. [*]Again, hilarious pop-up in the end. I certainly did show them who was boss!
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I added a bio for the Scientific Doodads and tidied up Smiffy's text too.
[ QUOTE ]
[/list]Debriefing:
Again, no problem here. Hooray for saving the world by beating down inanimate objects!
EDIT: Ok, Test is back up so I'll finish the arc.
[u]Mission 5[u]
Briefing:
Again, good. The text message from the Monitor was hilarious. Nice to see you're highlighting the most relevant dialogue in the send off dialogue. However, there was a bit of a typo in that section. The contact suggests " I think you should take them down as they arrive, one at a time, they'll be too much for you en masse." I think that the comma after time should be a period and "they'll be too much for you" should be its own sentence.
Content:
<ul type="square">[*] The taunts broadcasted throughout the mission are certainly creepy, definitely highlighting the fact that the person saying it all is insane.[*] The progressive defeating of each boss to get more clues and eventually draw the final boss out is a novel idea. Kudos on that![*] As I progressed, the contrast between the extremely entertaining Freaks and the progressively more disturbing dialogue from Montieth became more and more apparent. It really was like an emotional seesaw. I do agree with the others that Montieth's story is certainly a departure from the light-hearted feel of the rest of the arc, but it certainly explains his descent into darkness. I think it's fine the way it is, personally.[*] Some typos I noticed: Mr. Kipling says "In fact, i'd say this is easy as pie!" "i'd" should probably be "I'd". Also, Kneepad says "Hey! you ain't a Freak!" I think "you" should probably be capitalized.[*] Sheesh, that was depressing.... Really sad to see he'd make such a plan for that reason. (EDITED at the author's request) The final clue could use some paragraph breaks if possible, though.[/list]Debriefing:
Well, I suppose that does explain a number of things. Still a really sad ending, but the contact does what he can to make you feel better. By the way, Janice is missing capitalization in the final paragraph and I believe the Zig is capitalized too.
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I corrected all the typos you pointed out.
[ QUOTE ]
[u]Overall[u]
Excellent arc. Very entertaining on the whole, although the mood shifts immensely towards the end. After all the goofiness of the arc, the utterly depressing ending really hits hard. Some people may not like it, but I think it works well. By the way, who the drekk was the Harold guy Janice mentions in the first mission? I don't think he's ever mentioned again. Finally, it sort of bothered me that no one ever seems to refer to you by name. Is that on purpose?
[/ QUOTE ]
Definitely. All the way through, the contact calls you 'hero (Hello Hero, saved the world any lately?' and Montieth does too in his final monologue. Which I felt contrasts nicely with the exit popup in Mission 5.
Additional things I did in this final edit was to add an OOC instruction in a different colour to the briefing for mission 5 which wearns tuen player about the sequence of bosses etc, so they wont get irritated by map-wandering too much. And every boss thats defeated now has individual (tailored ) text in the chatbar telling the player to look out for other freaks nearby and to check the clues.
Not much more i can do!
Phewe. im glad thats over. Now to work on my next epic!
[ QUOTE ]
Anyway, my own arc was broken for a while, making it impossible to review. However, I was able to fix it with the latest patch. Thus, I'd like to repost it so people can critique it again.
Arc Name: Soldiers of Fortune
[color= orange]Arc ID:[/color] 8119
Faction: Villainous
Creator Global/Forum Name: @Mekkanos
Difficulty Level: Medium (Involves a custom villain group that is balanced for the middle levels and a slightly difficult Arch-Villain towards the end)
Synopsis: Battle two ruthless mercenary groups for an ancient item of power with the help of some unusual allies! Ideal for people in the 30-35 range.
Estimated Time to Play: About an hour or two, depending on how fast you go through the missions. None are defeat all.
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it's on my list, dude. Will get round to it within the week.
Eco.
MArcs:
The Echo, Arc ID 1688 (5mish, easy, drama)
The Audition, Arc ID 221240 (6 mish, complex mech, comedy)
Storming Citadel, Arc ID 379488 (lowbie, 1mish, 10-min timed)
[ QUOTE ]
Bugs:
* The contact says that Thunderhead is already inside. The hero inside is named Shockriot.
[/ QUOTE ]
Fixed.
[ QUOTE ]
* Shockriot's electric field kills his captors, resulting in me getting a clue out of nowhere and an ambush at the door. If the ambush was intended, I'd remove the clue since it makes it look like an obvious bug.
[/ QUOTE ]
Changed Shockriot's powersets a bit to eliminate Electric Field. The colors of the electrical powers don't mesh as well but is better than throwing a wrench into the mechanics of the encounters.
[ QUOTE ]
* Emerald Star is useless past the first floor since she keeps getting stuck in the elevator on that floor. I can reproduce this bug over and over, she gets stuck trying to fly into the doors of the far back elevator but never moves. Maybe try removing her flight power?
[/ QUOTE ]
Did just that and ran a test run through and she was with me to the end with no problems... at least until the end boss stomped her.
[ QUOTE ]
* The contact says for the second mission that some heroes already went in but the only one I found was Emerald Star. Is Malaise supposed to count?
[/ QUOTE ]
Not sure what happened here but there were supposed to be 2 heroes in there to find but when I went to check it today the second one wasn't in at all. Either the MA didn't save it or I messed something up when editing (most likely). Should be fixed now.
[ QUOTE ]
* The Dark Oak ambush is beatable now, but still annoying. The issue here was they spawned on a set of stairs, and with all the roots making me unable to jump and all those Carrion Creepers I had to kill every creeper in my way as I slowly ran into meelee range, making it a long fight.
[/ QUOTE ]
Toned down and tested, then toned down again with slightly different primary powerset. I wanted to keep the Plant motif but did not like how the encounter played out with Plant Control so went with Thorny assault with only first 2 powers so no damn thorntrops.
[ QUOTE ]
Nitpicks:
* The first mission feels like it should be an escort. I know people hate them, but with the ambushes being trigger when he's freed, how is he supposed to make it back down 5 floors to escape?
[/ QUOTE ]
Took your advice and redid it as an escort. Actually seems to work out better as well as making more sense. Having a little issue with one encounter on the way out with Harold though.
[/ QUOTE ]
* Seth is somewhat useless of an Ally against these foes. I know Illusion is thematically appropriate for him, but these foes are all resistant to Psi damage and fear, so he makes rather little impact during the fight with the Shadow Beast.
[/ QUOTE ]
I didn't even realize the powersets involved. BIG oversight on my part. Changed Seth a bit with secondary. Kept Illusion as primary but replaced Psi Assault with Earth Control. He helps but won't win the fight for you without major help.
Gawd I hope I didn't break anything when fixing this stuff.
Thanks for the feedback Lazarus. I really appreciate it.
[ QUOTE ]
Here's mine: (STILL HAVEN'T GOTTEN A REVIEW FROM THIS POST!)
It's ready!
Birth of a Fossil
Arc ID: 18632
Length: Very Long
Morality: Heroic
Plot: A long time ago... Dragons ruled the world. No one knows what happened to them. Now, a fossil of one of the greatest has been found. Who shall claim it's power? Be the hero that caused the birth of the villain Fossil Dragon!
Author: @PartyClown
I've just completed my very first arc and I'd like some comments on story, difficulty and writing, especially syntax as I tend to use some french ones. I'd also need some technical testing if possible.
Thanks in advance! Hope you like it and have fun!
P.S. Terribly sorry about the circle maps but it was fitting story-wise!
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Mission briefing is a little hard to read/unproofread in spots.
Example from mission 2 sendoff: " I will send I will then send a specially-trained and loyal escort to bring it back here."
This makes the story a little hard to follow. I had trouble figuring out who Traitor was for a bit.
Some patrols say $name because patrols don't target you until engaged.
Capture graphic looks wrong for CoT
Some missions are level restricted even though the enemy group is always CoT
Always fighting CoT gets old after a while. One or two missions facing a different group would add a little spice to the arc.
The encounter with Fossil Dragon is really fun. Love the costume he has and what he says.
Overall: There is a good story underneath the dense mission sendoffs, clean up the text and clarify a few points via clues and it will be a vast improvement.
A Guide to Champion Drama
My Videos
Ashcraft been published.
Was it the elevator door with the trash can next to it? That one she got caught on twice.
Yeah, balancing custom critters can be a pain. The ones I have in "The Portal Bandits" took me nearly a week to iron the kinks out of before I had them to a point where they were challenging without feeling like they were designed to be a ganksquad. Some of the more obnoxious issues didn't even become apparent until I got a team of 5 to run the arc with me.
The Echo
Just ran thru the first two missions before test went down for maintenance.
1) I liked the dialogue from the Freaks. I've seen so much Freak chatter over the years that I tend to ignore it but these Freaks are up to something entirely different.
The dialogue from the Boss at the end is pretty good as well as the clue.
2) I agree with Chameleon, the Archivists SOOOOOO need handlebar mustaches.
Likes: The critters. Fun but not under or overpowered. They fit the theme of the story. (I was totally expecting to enter and have to fight the usual Crey mobs so it was a very pleasant surprise to find these critters.
The "Wrong" computer entries, lol.... You really have to make an arc about the cyborg nuns from the future now. The puns were nice as well.
Dislikes: The Head Librarian's look was all there except the head. Is he supposed to be wearing a robot helmet? I was thinking a Derby would fit just right.
Computers seemed to take an annoyingly long time to activate. When an ambush would happen it would be when the bar still had about 1/4 left to go as well.
I'm going to play the 3rd mish after supper and hopefully Test will be back by then.