Overheard at the Paragon Olympics...

* "It looked like the 8 man Brute team had sewed up the Gold Medal in Synchronized Chaos... but then the 8 man Thugs Mastermind team all used Gang War at the same time..."

* "Oh dear.... well... he didn't make an impact in the Super Speed Narrow Cave Map Dash... but he certainly made an impact on that wall..."

* Overheard at the start of the 100-Meter Dash, Stone Armor Only Division: "Speed Boost!" "SB Meh!" "My kingdom for a Kinetics coach!"

* "Okay... for the last time... this is an Accuracy competition for Blasters, Defenders and Corruptors... this competition is to show pin point accuracy... yes I know you technically hit the bullseye... but Targeted AoE is not allowed according to the rules... no, I don't have a prejudice against Fire Blasters..."

* "And here we are at the Rhythmic Gymnastics medal round... where.. for the 5th time since the start of competition.. the Stalker entrant is arguing with the judges... she appears to be asking 'if you can't see the routine, how can you be sure it wasn't perfect?'"

* "And that was the Stone Armor Tanker entrant into the 50 meter platform diving competition... there will be a 30 minute break while we re-fill the pool..."

* "You'd think that a Water Blaster would be a natural at the Diving competition but... let's face it... they take points off for that much splash..."

* "Today the Olympic council announced that... from this day forward... all Kinetics heroes and villains will be barred from attending all racing events..."

* "And there will be a small delay at the Shot Put event until we can determine whether or not the last entrant has, in fact, achieved low orbit..."

* "The investigation revealed that the Gold Medal winner in the event was not a Brute, but a Mind Control Dominator... had not actually competed... had not been listed on the entrant manifest in the first place... aaand was out of town at the time of the actual competition..."

* "Well... the finish line electric eye registered someone crossed it while the camera's showed no one there... so it was obviously a Stalker... problem is we have three in the race... and they're all claiming to be the winner.."

* "I think at the next Olympics we really need to eliminate the Super Strength Brutes from the Power Lifting competition... It's not that they aren't good at it... it's just that the way they need to build their Fury bar prior to the deadlift is really hard on the spectators..."

* "We need to change the Ring-Out rule on Wrestling scoring... the Storm Summoners are walking away with this..."

* "Fencing is one blade... ONE..."

* "(deep sigh) Fine... another freaking tie... can someone talk to the Devs about changing the travel power Cap rules?"

* "Yes, we use the same Teleportation Suppression technology as in Pocket D... Well, I guess you should have considered that possibility before entering the Marathon..."

* "As we are seeing history being made today! Yes, today in the Discus event a Storm Summoner has FINALLY found an actual use for Gale..."

The blasters were doing it wrong. They obviously shoulda nuked the targets.

"Synchronized Chaos" alone made me laugh.

The Paragon Olympics is in Dark Ward this year, right?

nice to see you back doing what you do best, Claw!


=)

In related news, over at the Paragon Velodrome, all bicycle events were cancelled when it was revealed that there were No Bicycles. The bikes on hand were revealed to be non-functional models, crafted by a clever Base designer from vent-covers and lamp parts.

Be Well!
Fireheart

Oh, these made me smile! Especially...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Steelclaw * Overheard at the start of the 100-Meter Dash, Stone Armor Only Division: "Speed Boost!" "SB Meh!" "My kingdom for a Kinetics coach!" * "And that was the Stone Armor Tanker entrant into the 50 meter platform diving competition... there will be a 30 minute break while we re-fill the pool..." * "The investigation revealed that the Gold Medal winner in the event was not a Brute, but a Mind Control Dominator... had not actually competed... had not been listed on the entrant manifest in the first place... aaand was out of town at the time of the actual competition..." * "Fencing is one blade... ONE..."

Thank you, Steelclaw!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fireheart In related news, over at the Paragon Velodrome, all bicycle events were cancelled when it was revealed that there were No Bicycles. The bikes on hand were revealed to be non-functional models, crafted by a clever Base designer from vent-covers and amp parts.

That made me laugh too, Fireheart. Especially after seeing the recent PERC competition. Base editors are incredible creative!

"We apologize for the black-out during the archery event. One of the competitors accidentally used an EMP arrow and fried our cameras...."

"Due to a lack of proper equipment, the soccer match has been replaced with Hellion Repeling! All Stormies, FFers, Kins and anyone who may have actually taken Whirlwind, please report to the Soccer field!"

"The judges have decided to disqualify the winner of the 100 meter run; turns out he teleported instead of ran."

"Will the idiot with the goofy backpack stop trying to put out the Olympic torch? Thank you."

"The Olympic committee is looking into allegations of fraud; several judges who gave Local Man a perfect score suddenly vanished in the middle of an event, and despite his VERY PERSUASIVE claims of innocence, many people believe that the judges were indeed replaced by a Phantom Army."

Welcome back. Thanks for the laughs. Missed your posts.

Did you hear about that scandal about the weightlifter who was abusing Superadyne?

They caught him GREEN-handed!

....That was not funny.

In related news investigations are being opened into rigging of the boxing events through intimidation of the judges, as many of them felt as though someone were holding a blade at their back. While no evidence has been found it would explain many of the upset wins by Joe Everystalker.

"The Olympic Committee would like to remind participants at this time that the 100m Hellion Dash is limited to Brutes, Scrappers, Tanks, and practitioners of the Presence pool ONLY. Use of Kinetics, Time Manipulation, or any power that affects targets in your opponent's lanes is strictly forbidden."

I heard a rumor the other day that the reason why Emperor Cole invaded Primal Earth is that he wanted the Olympics to be hosted in Praetoria.

I still say First Ward would NOT be the ideal place for such an event.