Signs your new Alt may be lame

Your character automatically starts the game with Vahzilok Wasting Disease and Crey Narcotic temp powers...which never wear off.

Civilian NPCs wandering around ask you to if you'd like to them to Sidekick you to help you out with street hunting in Atlas Park.

Your first inspiration drop is a REROLL.

It's the end. But the moment has been prepared for ...

Your SG loses prestige every time you log in.

- Wentworths refuses you service due to your credit rating.

- When you first meet Kalinda, she mistakes you for the kid who delivers her newspaper.

- DJ Zero has gone to great lengths to ensure there is no violence in Pocket D. But in your case, he's made an exception...

- You summon your German Shepherd pet, and it runs away.

- You go for a swim in Lake Salamanca, and Sally one-shots you.

Azuria offers to protect you and keep you safe

You finally get enough VMerits for an HVAS... which kills you the moment you summon it.

Positron wishes he had a haircut like yours

You are defeated and a new statue dedicated to your opponent is erected in Atlas Park

You try and edit your costume and power colours in the costume creator and your character throws up

Hero 1 tells you that the Lost can keep his damned letter

"You got to dig it to dig it, you dig?"
Thelonious Monk

Dillo makes air sounds at you... but not with his mouth.

Trolls make fun of your education.

When a contact gives you their cell number it is always the phone number for the express bus out of Paragon City.

The monorail driver sees you waiting on the platform and doesn't stop.

- You get one shotted and die in the Tutorial.. by Sister Psyche.

Your only combat power is "rude gesture" and your only travel power is "stumbling."

Upon defeat you get a pop up: "You must be this cool to ride the mediport system. Sorry. Press okay to delete."

When you walk up to a zone entrance, the police drones shoot you.

You reach the costume portion of character creation to find your character already faceplanted.

All your contacts tell you not to call them, that they'll call you.

All your mission doors are in either the nw or sw corners of independence port.

You are told to street sweep for xp, and are promptly handed a broom and dustpan.

It takes you the entirety of your mayhem mission just to destroy a carboard box.

Brawl does more damage to yourself than your target, sprint bottoms out your end in 3 steps, and rest is replaced with "Pass out from exhaustion".

When you pull the triggers on your dual pistols a little flag comes out that says "Bang!"

You fall off a building and actually die.

The Hobbits won't even cook you anything (oops, sorry, that's for the How-you-know-your-alt-is-weak thread in LOTRO).

Your first melee power is Tickle.

Your force bubble is made of soap.

After you finish designing your costume and click "Enter Atlas Park" the game logs you out.

Serge slaps your face in disgust and it does 65 points of damage.

Your travel power is Skateboard.

Your energy shield runs on AAA batteries.

Your titan weapon is a giant spatula.

Every time someone reads your fortune a band of angry gypsies runs up and kicks your ***.

Your boombox plays only Air Supply.

All your contacts send you to missions in Galaxy City

Your first mission out of the Tutorial is to go give Lord Recluse a wedgie

The "Check Name" button in the character creator just laughs at you

When you log in on your account you are Stunned, Mezzed and Terrorized by Statesman's pelvis.

Dr. Geist chides you for delusions of grandeur.

Three out of four activations of Mutation monkify you and while monkeyed you become more of an asset to your team.

You pop 4 reds 4 yellows, hit Taunt, self destruct, and the mob gets the hiccups.

Fusionette rescues YOU.

You trip over the steps in atlas.

Your villain gets thrown over the walls of Mercy before you've even said hi.

- You trigger your Pocket D teleporter and find yourself at the back of a long line, waiting to get in.

- You misjudge a leap, land in the water, and drown.

- You choose Scirroco as your patron and he only gives you missions like, "Pick up my dry-cleaning," "Take my dog for a walk," and "Mow my lawn." Being a good sport, you complete all your tasks, and unlock your Patron Power Pool: Houseboy, which has powers such as "Genuflection," "Simpering Obedience," and "Humiliate Self."

- You level up and the trainer congratulates you on finally reaching level negative 1.5 billion.

After meeting all your contacts, you discover that they all use the same service provider.

...Statesman rolls over in his grave.

**Damien**

-your powerset is 'Kitchen Gadgets'

-you get killed by the civillian NPCs

-your costume makes the 'random' choice look like an award winner

-the devs create a special emote geared toward your character.../em point and laugh so hard you fall to ground coughing

-The Devs ban you... for life.

-After you are done making your toon, and select to enter the game, your computer crashes.

-After you are done making your toon, and select to enter the game, the game uninstalls itself.

They are the only character in server list that you do not have to type the name after clicking the delete button.