Every RPG Ever Discussed at once (Warning: Very Large Image)

Hello everyone,

Originally, I was in disagreement with the "No video game talk" rule here. I am, however, interested in working with the moderators, not against them. It's their house and I am a guest. I will take my shoes off.

Which is why I now present the RPG Flowchart. This chart is both every RPG discussion ever and none of them. Simply by consulting this chart, we can simulate a fulfilling conversation about RPGs without offending any of the rules.

So now, when I express my frustration that that wasn't the final boss's true form, all you have to do is find where I am on the chart, and pick an alternative option. By doing this, we've compared theoretical gaming experiences.

Please, however, respect spoilers. Don't ever read farther on the chart that the person before you, and try to recognize important plot points. While we know that the ending will be in a cut-scene, just how long of a cut-scene is something readers should discover on their own.

I'm already sixteen hours into this chart, and it's been a fantastic tutorial so far on what the rest of the game is like.

I hope you all enjoy it, too. So, without further ado, here's the RPG Flowchart!

~Marcian~

This is the first profanity filter I've been unable to beat for a name. I mean it even filters out swear words in Danish. I approve!

I just went with "Dude". That's always good for a laugh when the entire world start sounding like surfers. Why are these kind of heroes always living with just their mother, though? It's almost getting cliche.

Dude.

I'm claiming victory over the filter because I went with a proper name that's also a euphemism. Take that, game! Heh. "Take that, game." Festival time!

I just named me Marcian. Is that bad?

Anyway, we're all at the festival. What happens next?

Man, this flowchart sucks, the flowchart from a few years ago was way better.

Stupid waist-high fence. Can't go over; can't even use it for cover. You suck, fence. And now I have a groupie. Personal space, lady. *sigh* At least she's cute.

Hey, Planescape: Torment broke the chart after only three spaces.

Well this confirms everything I've ever suspected about JRPGs. Good thing I never played them.

It would really help their case if the character they were using was from a game that followed the flowchart v.v Fail...

Crap, my village is under attack! Guys, I wasn't expecting this. I'm only level 1! I don't think I can possibly take out the leader of their group...

I object to this flowchart as not all characters start with amnesia.
Some don't have amnesia until the midway point.

I learned a valuable lesson today: you can get punched in the junk so hard you will vomit and then pass out. Worst. Party crasher. Ever. And what did that "You remind me so much of your father," crack mean? And where am I? Who am-right, no one has a clue. Well no one except for maybe miss groin-punch, and I'd like to never have to deal with her again. On the plus side, I've managed to ditch my stalk-



HOLYWHATTHECRAP!

Aside from a couple squares, this doesn't resemble any of the RPGs I have played, or would /want/ to play, and sounds quite awful.

I think this List does a better job of getting all the cliches than the flowchart does.

How can you make the claim that this is a flowchart of every possible RPG when it doesn't even get past the amnesia line for most titles on the most popular RPGs? And those that get past that fail the next part...

I know! How dare that humor article be limited and/or inaccurate in its scope!

The nerve!