An Old Joke With a CoH Twist...
By
Adeon Hawkwood,
Posted on: 2010-01-28 18:29 in CoH and CoV General Discussions
Hahahahhahaha *nearly chokes on food* Priceless, my sides hurt now.
Going to miss the fun and nice people here at CoH. Feel free to add me on PS3/XBox360
PS3X360: OmniNogard
Currently playing: Mass Effect 3(PS3) Minecraft(X360) Skyrim(X360).
Q: How many devoured earth does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: None. The lightbulb is a perfect example of the destructive wastefulness of humanity, squandering nature's resources in an incredibly inefficient manner. The light bulb shall be crushed and the stain of humankind wiped from the Earth. All hail The Hamidon.
Always remember, we were Heroes.
*laughs* Briliant!
Q: How many Stalkers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, Stalkers prefer the darkness
Q: How many Defenders does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Just one but he'd rather buff the old one so that it doesn't die in the first place.
How many Wyvern does it take to change a lightbulb?
5 - four to keep trying to change the lightbulb with a bow and arrow, and one to finally get a ladder and change it.
How many Hero PuG members does it take to change a light bulb?
Let's see, The tanker tries to herd the new lighbulbs up to the light socket, The defender is just standing around with their heal aura on auto, the blaster somehow faceplanted, The scrapper has moved on to the next lightbulb down the hall, the controller cages the new lightbulb so no one can get to it, and everyone eventually quits before it gets changed.
Quote:
Win!
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Originally Posted by Steelclaw
Q: How many Nemesis Soldiers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Eight one to locate a light bulb, one to inform an unsuspecting hero of a wave of darkness sweeping over the city, one to play a hapless hostage to confirm the story, one to stash the bulb in an enemy warehouse, one to tip off the hero about the item of power that can push back the darkness in a warehouse, one to drop hints about the altar of darkness the item of power must be inserted into to stop the wave of darkness, one to disguise the lamp as an altar and (finally) one to gloat and tell the hero hes been duped. |
How many Praetorians does it take to change a light bulb?
Three. One to notice the bulb is dark. One Praetorian Clockwork to change the bulb. And one Seer to wipe the minds of everyone involved. Light bulbs don't burn out in the perfect society of the Empire, citizen!
Arc #40529 : The Furies of the Earth
How many Steelclaws does it take to make an awesome, funny list?
Just one.... 
My Deviant Art page link-link
CoH/V Fan Videos
Quote:
Bwahaha |
Originally Posted by Obscure Blade
Light bulbs don't burn out in the perfect society of the Empire, citizen!
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http://www.fimfiction.net/story/36641/My-Little-Exalt
Quote:
These are all pretty good (The Nemsisis one was great), but I really liked this one a lot. |
Originally Posted by Adeon Hawkwood
Q: How many Defenders does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Just one but he'd rather buff the old one so that it doesn't die in the first place. |
Quote:
You forgot about the part where they then offer vague warnings to superheroes about "The Coming Dark"
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Originally Posted by Steelclaw
Q: How many Menders does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None; they dont change it; they go back in time to when it was still working. |
Quote:
Wow, I love the whole list as usual, but these struck me to the floor with a vengeance. I'm still catching my breath.|
Originally Posted by Steelclaw
Q: How many Crey Scientists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Five one to photograph the bulb, one to reverse engineer the photo, one to create a design schematic, one to head up mass production of illicit light bulbs and one to screw the original. Q: How many Nemesis Soldiers does it take to change a light bulb? A: Eight one to locate a light bulb, one to inform an unsuspecting hero of a wave of darkness sweeping over the city, one to play a hapless hostage to confirm the story, one to stash the bulb in an enemy warehouse, one to tip off the hero about the item of power that can push back the darkness in a warehouse, one to drop hints about the altar of darkness the item of power must be inserted into to stop the wave of darkness, one to disguise the lamp as an altar and (finally) one to gloat and tell the hero hes been duped. Q: How many Malta does it take to change a light bulb? A: Four One to notice the light wont turn on, One to put in a new bulb and realize it doesnt work either, One to call him an idiot and show him how its done just to find the light still doesnt work and One to finally realize whats going on and yell at the Sapper to get away from the danged circuit box. Q: How many MAGI workers does it take to change a light bulb? A: Three One to open the Vault Door where the broken light is, One to change the bulb and One to inform Azuria they need another hero to get back the stuff that was stolen while the Vault was open. |
Comic and Hero/Villain Culture
Saturday January 29th, 2005 (12:37 PM) ~ Monday August 9th, 2010
Those Who Lived It Will Remember Long after your Ban Hammer Crumbles and the servers flicker dead.
We Will Remember This One Moment In Time! ~ Shadow Ravenwolf
How many devs does it take to change a lightbulb?
We don't know cause marketing won't release any info.
Sorta like GR,huh?
Too funny!
to 
TO THE END!Villains are those who dedicate their lives to causing mayhem. Villians are people from the planet Villia!
Quote:
Steelclaw, I regret to inform you, but you've just been upstaged.
|
Originally Posted by Bubbawheat
How many Hero PuG members does it take to change a light bulb?
Let's see, The tanker tries to herd the new lighbulbs up to the light socket, The defender is just standing around with their heal aura on auto, the blaster somehow faceplanted, The scrapper has moved on to the next lightbulb down the hall, the controller cages the new lightbulb so no one can get to it, and everyone eventually quits before it gets changed. |
Where to now?
Check out all my guides and fiction pieces on my blog.
The MFing Warshade | The Last Rule of Tanking | The Got Dam Mastermind
Everything Dark Armor | The Softcap
don'T attempt to read tHis mEssaGe, And believe Me, it is not a codE.
Great one, Steelclaw. I'm stealing it to spam it on Broadcast during our next Hami raid.
www.SaveCOH.com: Calls to Action and Events Calendar
This is what 3700 heroes in a single zone looks like.
Thanks to @EnsonsDeath for the GVE code that made me VIP again!
Quote:
The Nemesis one was great, but I liked this one as well. |
Originally Posted by Steelclaw
Q: How many Knives of Artemis does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None; changing bulbs is mens work. |
Quote:
Hey, it's a party and everyone's welcome to grab the Karaoke mic... |
Originally Posted by Dechs Kaison
Steelclaw, I regret to inform you, but you've just been upstaged.
|
That one was good and I about fell out of my chair after reading the Defenders one.
Sometimes I laugh... other times I smack myself in the forehead and say "Why didn't *I* think of that?!"
My mind wanders so often you've probably seen its picture on milk cartons. - Me... the first person version of the third person Steelclaw
Q: How many scrappers is needed to change a light bulb?
A: None, you don't need to see to kill the guy nearest to you.
In the Arena of Logic, I fight unarmed.
Quote:
Awww, now see, I would've said, One: He'll change the first, then go on to the next one, then the next one, then the next one... regardless of whether the bulbs actually need changing or not. |
Originally Posted by Gulver
Q: How many scrappers is needed to change a light bulb?
A: None, you don't need to see to kill the guy nearest to you. |
Quote:
|
Don�t say things. What you are stands over you the while, and thunders so that I cannot hear what you say to the contrary. - R.W. Emerson |
YUMMY Low-Hanging Fruit for BASE LUV
Quote:
Don't mind me, I'm just jealous of everyone else's creative prowess.
|
Originally Posted by Steelclaw
Hey, it's a party and everyone's welcome to grab the Karaoke mic...
That one was good and I about fell out of my chair after reading the Defenders one. Sometimes I laugh... other times I smack myself in the forehead and say "Why didn't *I* think of that?!" |
Where to now?
Check out all my guides and fiction pieces on my blog.
The MFing Warshade | The Last Rule of Tanking | The Got Dam Mastermind
Everything Dark Armor | The Softcap
don'T attempt to read tHis mEssaGe, And believe Me, it is not a codE.
/e praise
Steelclaw, we are not worthy!
Though Bubbawheat and Adeon are pretty darn close to worthy with their additions.
Thx all!
Tried doing one for a Villain PuG, but it wasn't coming out very well, so instead...
Q: How many Brutes does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Eight. Technically one Brute and seven enemies to build his fury high enough.
Q: How many Masterminds does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. They make their henchmen do it.
Q: How many Stalkers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: I have no idea, I never saw them change it.
Q: How many Corruptors does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None, the Dark Corruptors convinced everyone it's better this way.
Q: How many Hellions does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Zero the buildings on fire who needs light bulbs?
Q: How many Clockwork does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: It takes wait a second whered the light bulb go? As a matter of fact the lamp is missing too!
Q: How many Vahzilok does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Three One to screw it in One to throw the switch And one to scream Its alive Its ALIVE!!
Q: How many Skulls does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two one to screw it in and the other to present him with the Go. Screw. Bubs badge.
Q: How many Trolls does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two one to make the attempt and the other to knock a hole in the wall to make a window when the first one cant figure it out.
Q: How many Luddites does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two One to screw it in and the other to call him a heretic.
Q: How many Council does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: An entire squad plus one the one screws in the light bulb while the squad forms a perimeter to keep the Vampyri from taking it back out again.
Q: How many Arachnos Soldiers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: All of them Actually, only one, but thats only after attrition as they fight each other to see who is the best qualified.
Q: How many Banished Pantheon does it take to change a light bulb?
A: It depends on how many Spirit Masks try it before accepting the fact they dont have hands and asking a Shaman for help.
Q: How many Carnival of Shadows does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One to change it but at least ten to decide if the bulb should be red, black or strobe.
Q: How many Cimerorans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Whats a light bulb?
Q: How many Crey Scientists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Five one to photograph the bulb, one to reverse engineer the photo, one to create a design schematic, one to head up mass production of illicit light bulbs and one to screw the original.
Q: How many Circle of Thorns does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Five Four to summon a green mist that hovers the fifth up the ceiling so he can change the light bulb.
Q: How many Knives of Artemis does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None; changing bulbs is mens work.
Q: How many Family members does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two One to change the bulb and one to kill the witnesses.
Q: How many Freakshow does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Four A Juicer Freak and two to hold him down while the third shoves the bulb in an available orifice.
Q: How many Nemesis Soldiers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Eight one to locate a light bulb, one to inform an unsuspecting hero of a wave of darkness sweeping over the city, one to play a hapless hostage to confirm the story, one to stash the bulb in an enemy warehouse, one to tip off the hero about the item of power that can push back the darkness in a warehouse, one to drop hints about the altar of darkness the item of power must be inserted into to stop the wave of darkness, one to disguise the lamp as an altar and (finally) one to gloat and tell the hero hes been duped.
Q: How many Menders does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None; they dont change it; they go back in time to when it was still working.
Q: How many Malta does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Four One to notice the light wont turn on, One to put in a new bulb and realize it doesnt work either, One to call him an idiot and show him how its done just to find the light still doesnt work and One to finally realize whats going on and yell at the Sapper to get away from the danged circuit box.
Q: How many Zigg Prisoners does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None; they wont be there long enough to notice its broken anyway.
Q: How many Scrapyarders does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Twenty-six; one to make the signs and the other twenty-five to protest unfair working conditions and unnecessary eye-strain.
Q: How many Snakes does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three One to get out the ladder, One to scream at him about how theyre supposed to use it without legs or feet and the third to point out that their caves dont have electricity anyway.
Q: How many Coralax does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two One to change the bulb and the other to treat his electrical burns from not drying off first.
Q: How many Lost does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three One to change the light and two others to hold off the Swordsman who wants the bulb to accessorize his television helmet.
Q: How many MAGI workers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three One to open the Vault Door where the broken light is, One to change the bulb and One to inform Azuria they need another hero to get back the stuff that was stolen while the Vault was open.
Yeah... I think I've just about run this one into the ground enough for now...
My mind wanders so often you've probably seen its picture on milk cartons. - Me... the first person version of the third person Steelclaw