The Computer is your friend

All right, enough of this nonsense about Loyalists, or Resistance, or Anarachists, or even Pantslessness, what we all really want to do is sit down and play some games. Maybe surf the web a bit. There's some cool YouTube videos out there that you should look up. And then you need to check twitter, right? Feeds ain't gonna read themselves, you know.

Given that we all have these desires, we now need a tool to do such things. I humbly present to you the computer. This handy electronic device will let you do all the above, and more! It is the must-own item for the discerning consumer. Or any consumer, really. Even non-consumers should get one, to be honest.

There are only a few things you need to know about the computer: 1) The computer is your friend. 2) You should trust the computer. 3) The computer knows everything. Yes, everything. And it doesn't hold that time you broke your mom's favorite vase against you. Or anything else, for that matter. Because the computer is your friend.

Now, who is ready to give up all this faction nonsense and join with me in serving the computer?

I second the vote for a computer contact in Praetoria, especially if it's done the way Morac is writing it, making it a seperate entity to either side, an independant contact (of which there should be many).

"While I cannot serve the computer, it is a tool for the true freedoms.

No...I cannot accept that the one thing that binds us all together is the computer...the idea is too great, the scope of it too wide, what it could do with it's vast (if highly editable) knowledge, it would know all, Loyalist plans, Resistance plans, it may even know my plans, does it watch me while I sleep?

It would know everything, it would know more than any being could ever desire to know, has the computer really seduced us all?

I must return to my lab and begin making use of notepad and paper again...the computer cannot know my plans..."

And that's how you should introduce the computer as a contact, some paranoid conspiracy theorist making a discovery which almost borders on the level of finally realising that cosmic horrors are truly running the galaxy and that Cthulu lies sleeping, soon to awaken...

Fortunately, the computer is your friend, and would surely not abuse it's power. Surely not.

What is your security level citizen?
Please report to the nearest termination booth
Have a Nice Day

The computer is shocked that people would want to hurt it. Shocked. But the computer also understands, and the computer forgives you, because the computer is your friend.

Wait, what's this? A video has been leaked to the internet featuring these anti-computer people doing despicable acts to kittens? Well now, that is extremely odd. There is no accounting for taste, I suppose.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Orion_Star_EU LOL. +Rep. And would you computer faction people like a signature?

That would be swell, though I don't think you need to bother unless this faction ever grows beyond just me.

Hehe I am running Paranoia for Hallowe'en.

Some questions?

How many clones is The Computer allowing me?
Are we Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue, Indigo or Violet level?

I have heard rumours that some of my fellow CoHers are commie rat bastards. Can I fry 'em?

I've thought about it a lot, and I've come to realize that all of my criminal tendencies and flamboyant fashion choices came from two sources: books and other reading material, and more importantly, video games.

Video games and books. You can't forget the negative impact of the books too. If those books hadn't expanded my horizons, I would have just been a violent social misfit because of video games.

One alone can do irreparable damage, but both together, well, you can see the results.

If you don't want your children to become violent criminals bent on world conquest, then you need to act immediately. Don't let them play video games. Keep them away from books. And you'd probably better keep them inside, too. I'd suggest that you replace those other activities with something better. Something that can heal them. I'd suggest Television. I often wish I'd watched more TV as a youth. Who knows what I could have been?

Fortunately, the computer now offers downloadable TV! Just for you. Because it is your friend.

Also, let it never be said that the computer does not support social networking.

I shall join you in saving the computer, for it is my friend and I trust it.
Everyone needs the computer, for it gives life to all that press its 'insert' key and it can end your life with its 'delete' key.

I suspect that this thread is full of mutant who wish to harm the computer.

As a precaution, I would request that I be given permission to test the new mutant killing gun developed by R&D. Guaranteed to kill mutants a millisecond faster than non-mutants.

I'd join the Computer, but I'm too busy using my mutation to take over my Secret Society.

The computer seeks only to aid you, for its logic is undeniable, and its understanding is vast.

Does the computer know how to love?

I'll just leave this here...

No. Bad computer.

If anything, Paragon City/Praetoria NEEDS more competition. It encourages PvP, it promotes a sense of a challenge, and people can actually feel more involved if there's a faction.

So YES to the Loyalists and the Resistance! May they go to war and may the battle rage on!