Champion Conspiracy Theories

The penguin has the right of it.

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When I was single a few years ago I had the nads to ask THIS guy out.. we dated for months, but I didn't take it seriously and simply enjoyed myself!! WOOHOOO

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ZOMG where did you get that picture of me....and I want that video back!!

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Your PvP host with the most.

4shes and Enigma 2v2 PvP

Open your Eyes to I13 PvP

An Introduction to I14 PvP

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Tried that and looked like an [censored].... and guys dont really take a liking to girls doing the picking up as a general rule ive found!

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And every single time a guy gets shot down, he feels the exact same way.

You want the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow? Then try, try, try, try, try again. If you want to be a brain surgeon, truly want it more than anything, you have to put in 13 years of dedicated work of 12-16 hours a day flat broke before you'll even get the opportunity to start practicing for the big dance. Along the way, you'll spend hours reading, writing, and hearing some of the most boring stuff imaginable. If you truly want to find that person, think of it like a job. It takes a little bit of effort every single day.

BA mentioned not being able to find how to segue into a date from a new conversation. Practice. Strike up a new conversation every single day with a pretty girl. Hell, do it with girls that are completely out of your league. The more you get in the situation, the more comfortable you'll feel. Once you reach that comfort level, the segue will become natural. Seriously.

Girls, ask guys out. So what if you feel like an [censored] because some dude said no? You obviously didn't know him very well before hand, so who cares what he thinks of you now? Imagine if you were traveling in Europe when you happened to meet Random Dude in a grocery store/book store/coffee shop/estate sale/whatever. Would you care what he thought of you if you were leaving town the very next day and were sure to never see him again?

If you're a person who freezes when that hottie looks at you, try coping mechanisms to relax. Nervous to talk to this person who obviously is better than you in every way, shape, or form (in your opinion)? They do stupid stuff too. The gorgeous girl who should be in movies has spilled a cup of juice down her shirt, walked into a wall, and clogged up a toilet before. The buff piece of manmeat in front of you in line works out 4 hours a day because he's as insecure about his body as you are and could identify just as many things wrong about himself as you can about yourself. In all honesty, he probably actually thinks he's fat and looks at his butt in the mirror every day and thinks it looks big in certain pairs of jeans. Think about your most mortifying moment, and realize that this person that is currently causing you to sweat in inappropriate places has a memory just as bad. Just before you walk up to talk to them, think about how mortified they must have been and how you would have laughed at the dumb thing just like all the other witnesses did.

Then, just say hi, and ask them a question. Ask them where they got their glasses, shoes, broccoli, Dostoyevsky. When they name a place or point at the bin next to them that you just retardedly didn't notice before you asked (read the signs, people), ask a follow up question of whether they liked the doctor, selection, how to tell which head of broccoli will taste best (even if you know, duh), or how to pronounce Dostoyevsky. If they're answering questions, they'll engage in the conversation, and that can lead to the swapping of stories. If you reach that point, you're golden. Simply say you've got to run, give them your number, and say you enjoyed talking with them and would like to continue this conversation sometime later. Thank them and move on with your day. Now, it doesn't matter if they call or not. Do the same thing the next day. With time, someone will call. You'll also get better at handling the situation because your stories will become practiced. You'll know that talking about broccoli inevitably leads to a comparison to hemorrhoids and should be avoided in the future. Dostoyevsky can be great if you actually can hold your own when it turns out the person specializes in classical Russian literature. The more practiced you become, the better your response rate will become. From there, dates will bloom and you'll get practice at first/second/third dates.

The myth, the real conspiracy theory, is that people find their special someone by being suave and smooth. That's not the real you, and the person you're with will see through that quite quickly. James Bond does not actually exist. Instead, realize that everyone is a dork. Everyone. Whether they're obsessed with guns, comic books, fish, motorcycles, high fashion, purple, or broccoli that looks like hemorrhoids, they're a total dork about something. Find it and let them talk about it for hours. They'll love that you listen so well, you'll really learn something about them, and your nerd obsession will now be comparable to some embarrassing obsession of theirs.

Also, I do not play WoW. My Little Pony all the way.

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This.

And, at least for me, it helped once I learned that you can get absolutely torched, shot down in horrid slow motion "oh the humanity!" burning flames like the Hindenburg disaster or a train wreck that you can't turn away from, and it won't kill you. Granted, it sucks, but you get over that. Hell, once I got past that part, dating was easy. I got shot down and nuked many many many times in epic fashion. Its all part of the game. To play, you've got to be willing to get on the field and take the hits. And like Ping said, try to remember that pretty much everyone else is just as uncomfortable about it as you are. Persistence pays off (provided you don't go all stalker-y of course) Ask my wife sometime... she had scorched earth policy on me when we first met... lol

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�Life's hard. It's even harder when you're stupid.� ― John Wayne

�Just think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize half of them are even stupider!� - George Carlin

Champion: The self help channel.

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Champion: The self help channel.

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Now there's the true conspiracy.

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"Champion (the Community Server... or GTFO) is like a small town where everyone knows each other's names, for better or worse." -kojirodensetsu.
"If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail." - Maslow's Hammer

Your avatar is just....wrong.

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Your avatar is just....wrong.

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And yet... so right...

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"Don't unravel them-- your ears were meant to be that way."
-Steve Aylett

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Your avatar is just....wrong.

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And yet... so right...

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I'm thankful it's anything but what he had previously.

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Member - Pingus, & Legendaries
Angry Sysop 50 BRUTE - Angry Woodsman 50 TANK - Angry Florist 21 CONTROLLER
"Did your Phantom Army just take the Elevator? Imaginary People riding Elevators? *facepalm*

This was the original inspiration for a well-known Champion hero.

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"Don't unravel them-- your ears were meant to be that way."
-Steve Aylett

I heard that Demon Keeper is a Nemesis Automaton that seeks out and steals the bacon of unsuspecting Championites.

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GenderPoison moonlights as a matchmaker; unfortunately half of her clients end up in the Zigursky Penitentiary.

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From today's Word of the Day:

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A.Word.A.Day

pingo

PRONUNCIATION:
(PING-go)

MEANING:
noun: A mound or hill of soil-covered ice in permafrost, pushed up by the pressure of water seeping in.


ETYMOLOGY:
From Inuit pinguq/pingu (small hill).


USAGE:
"Out on the Arctic coastal plain below the northern foot of the Brooks, the land is dotted with pingoes a foot or two tall."
Craig Medred; River Dance on the Hulahula; Anchorage Daily News (Alaska); Jul 31, 2005.


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"Don't unravel them-- your ears were meant to be that way."
-Steve Aylett

Another new definition for me that I didn't know before.

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- Ping (@iltat, @Pinghole)

Don't take it personally if you think I was mean to you. I'm an ******* to everyone.

It's a penguin thing. Pingu FTW.

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Another new definition for me that I didn't know before.

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The image of a land dotted with two foot tall pingus made me grin.

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"Don't unravel them-- your ears were meant to be that way."
-Steve Aylett

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Another new definition for me that I didn't know before.

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The image of a land dotted with two foot tall pingus made me grin.

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Untill they all look at you like you're the guardian of all XP.
Then it's scary.

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Member - Pingus, & Legendaries
Angry Sysop 50 BRUTE - Angry Woodsman 50 TANK - Angry Florist 21 CONTROLLER
"Did your Phantom Army just take the Elevator? Imaginary People riding Elevators? *facepalm*

Droid Rage is really a probe checking the condition of CoH/V for recolonization for Wildstar, Evil Toy Soldier, and the rest of the Galactic Empire!!!

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Your PvP host with the most.

4shes and Enigma 2v2 PvP

Open your Eyes to I13 PvP

An Introduction to I14 PvP

Has had their avatar priviledges taken away.

Just something I've heard.

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GATTACA is actually an advance scout for the Samoan Global Domination front.

Not a theory. This is FACT.

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GATTACA is actually an advance scout for the Samoan Global Domination front.

Not a theory. This is FACT.

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I have no problem with large, tropical, Pacific rim Overloads taking over the world with Moomoos and Coconut Drinks.
As long as they don't throw me in a Volcano.

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Member - Pingus, & Legendaries
Angry Sysop 50 BRUTE - Angry Woodsman 50 TANK - Angry Florist 21 CONTROLLER
"Did your Phantom Army just take the Elevator? Imaginary People riding Elevators? *facepalm*

Rumor has it I was secretly born in Barcelona and smuggling into Albany Georgia so that I could illegally run for the Pinellas County utility commission in 2018.

...what, wrong conspiracy?

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MA Author: Look for my eight arcs under @Witty Librarian!
Hero Cleanup Protocol estory now available! Through Smashwords.com and most ebook retailers!

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Member - Pingus, & Legendaries
Angry Sysop 50 BRUTE - Angry Woodsman 50 TANK - Angry Florist 21 CONTROLLER
"Did your Phantom Army just take the Elevator? Imaginary People riding Elevators? *facepalm*

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