Two posters above, read the OP, you're breaking the rules. What you're supposed to do is review the last arc posted in this thread, then post an arc for the next person to review and so on.
Bad Voodoo by @Beyond Reach. Arc ID #373659. Level 20-24. Mr. Bocor has fallen victim to a group of hooded vigilantes who have been plaguing Port Oakes, interfering with illegal operations and pacifying villain's powers. He demands that revenge is taken on these miscreants and his powers are returned! You look like just the villain for the job. Challenging.
heerm... was it a forum faux paus to do it the other way? you may see that I posted the arc I wanted reviewed first, then later reviewed the former arc suggested. should I re-pos to cut dow on possible confusion?
Quote:
I don't think it matters a great deal, but it probably would be courteous in future to review first, seeing as it is a kind of 'reviewing another arc earns your right to have your arc reviewed' thing.|
Originally Posted by DoctorParadox
heerm... was it a forum faux paus to do it the other way? you may see that I posted the arc I wanted reviewed first, then later reviewed the former arc suggested. should I re-pos to cut dow on possible confusion?
|
EDIT: Although seeing your arc hasn't been reviewed yet and it is above your review of another arc - another reason not to post first - it would probably be a good idea to post your arc for reviewing again.
Bad Voodoo by @Beyond Reach. Arc ID #373659. Level 20-24. Mr. Bocor has fallen victim to a group of hooded vigilantes who have been plaguing Port Oakes, interfering with illegal operations and pacifying villain's powers. He demands that revenge is taken on these miscreants and his powers are returned! You look like just the villain for the job. Challenging.
ok, since Reach suggested it, here's my Arc for critiqueing. my review of "crown of Iron, Heart of Steel" can be seen above.
Circuit Breaker {Fathom, Part 1}
Arc ID: 139682
Custom mobs, so 20-54
heroic
1 AV, one EB
technically soloable, in that I soloed it on a tanker. and said tanker's build was NOT good.
4 missions
When an anonymous Genius hacks into Longbows database, Agent Drive contacts you to find who is responsible, before they can set into motion a plan that threatens to engulf the planet.
this is the first arc of many who will be featuring this villain in some way, and I have the sequel up, "(In)Justice {Fathom, part 2}" if anyone wants to see it. I'd appreciate it, as the second one hasn't yet been played (if you do play the second one, please alert me of any bugs or errors that I may have missed).
Okiedokie Doctor, played your arc. I think you need to run over it and correct things like no capital letters at the beginning of sentences etc. (you misspelled Peregrine Island in the 1st Mission briefing). Also, full new paragraphs rather than just linebreaks are preferable, but I assume you ran out of space. I have no idea how you fit in so many custom minions, but, although they didn't give me too much trouble (level 26 Mind/Kin Controller) with Holds on Minions, I can easily see them destroying other archetypes. Don't give Minions control sets.
First Mission was alright, apart from the spelling errors, as was the second mission, but in general so far it doesn't feel very "CoX" ya know? Like it could be in an entirely different setting, especially seeing as the only Longbow appearances so far are from people who don't look like they're in Longbow. The coloured text is fine, but would have preferred bold or italics for emphasis, but I'm traditional. This is the second time I think so far he's said "I'll assume the worst", and although when I think about I can see why the planet/world is at stake, it isn't obvious. If it isn't obvious, it sounds a bit overdramatic and cliche.
So I went up against Parkson, and tbh, I'm not sure I understand the justification for being an Elite Boss. Generally, it's a good idea to try and lower the class of your enemies in MA (especially with custom enemies) because there are mostly soloers out there who will play the arc. I died the first time, then came back with a tray full of inspirations, 6 lucks, 4 catch a breaths and 4 respites. I got killed. Usually, an EB and even an AV down to EB won't give me a huge amount of trouble solo if they are balanced right, but this guy had the capability to kill me in two hits, and I was lucky to keep him held with my lucks for so long to get him just below half health. But after dying with a full tray of insps, I surrendered. Even if I was able to keep fighting against this guy valiantly until I am victorious, I still have an Archvillain to deal with. My recommendation is to reduce Parkson to a boss, but not necessarily reduce his powersets if you want him to be an especially tough boss.
For Fathom, I'd leave him as AV because he'll drop down to an EB solo anyway, but I would look at balancing his powersets. This is assuming that Fathom is the AV of course. Overall, you really need to proof-read your arc a lot. I didn't rate it because I didn't finish it, but if I was going to do it I'd give it a 4 because it's not your fault I don't like MA arcs that don't carry the CoH theme well; and just because it doesn't do that, it doesn't necessarily mean it's a bad arc. But it does need a lot of work, mainly on balancing the custom enemies and fixing all the typos.
Here's my arc:
Arc Name: Three (working title)
Arc ID: 382760
Faction: Heroic
Synopsis: 12/9/04. Paragon City suffers still from the Rikti attacks 3 years ago, many remain homeless, cowering from innumerable threats. This is the story of one such individual who lived in the darkest depths of Paragon, and through him how the populace's ignorance almost lead to their destruction.
Estimated Time to Play: Very Long (there is also a great deal of text to be read)
Notes: Read the Still Busy text if you can, I think it adds a great deal to the story. Well, in Missions 1 and 2 at least. After that you can probably leave it if you want. I especially wasn't a big fan of it in Mission 3. Also, because of the sheer volume of text - especially if you find all the optional clues - this may take some time.
Bad Voodoo by @Beyond Reach. Arc ID #373659. Level 20-24. Mr. Bocor has fallen victim to a group of hooded vigilantes who have been plaguing Port Oakes, interfering with illegal operations and pacifying villain's powers. He demands that revenge is taken on these miscreants and his powers are returned! You look like just the villain for the job. Challenging.
sorry about any balance issues you found with the minions, im not really sure how to test for them. if you have an specific suggestions, tha would be much appreciated. I'll take anther look over the typos too.
and also, what was your opinion of the plot? pacing? use of second mission?
Quote:
With the Minions, there are a few things you should generally stay clear of. Don't give them heals, or holds, immobilises can be annoying as well as well as heavy debuffing powers. I didn't find them particularly difficult, but I'm fairly certain other ATs would, that don't have all the control powers I do. It can be difficult to balance Minions, but just test the arc yourself on a character like a Scrapper, under Level 30 is a good idea because it's above that point when characters really start being able to deal with most things. There weren't really that many spelling mistakes apart from those I mentioned, but almost every sentence lacked a capital letters at the start.|
Originally Posted by DoctorParadox
sorry about any balance issues you found with the minions, im not really sure how to test for them. if you have an specific suggestions, tha would be much appreciated. I'll take anther look over the typos too.
and also, what was your opinion of the plot? pacing? use of second mission? |
The plot was pretty average. That isn't to say that it was bad, just that it didn't stand out. I understand what you were going for the twists, but I worked out that Parkson was a spy at the start of the second mission because I heard his guards talking. You may want to cut that so it isn't so obvious, also, the twist isn't really that effective because it begins and ends in a single mission, cutting down on the drama, you may want to draw it out a bit more. I thought the pacing was a bit staggered. Your first mission is just a click with no other details except patrols, not one boss, which is usually present in most Dev-created missions regardless of if it's an objective or not. The whole No Boss-1 Boss-1 Elite Boss might seem like logical progression at first, but there is a massive leap between Boss and Elite Boss. A Level 30-40 player could potentially take out two Bosses at once solo but not a single Elite Boss. Again, the Elite Boss was out of place in my opinion.
Bad Voodoo by @Beyond Reach. Arc ID #373659. Level 20-24. Mr. Bocor has fallen victim to a group of hooded vigilantes who have been plaguing Port Oakes, interfering with illegal operations and pacifying villain's powers. He demands that revenge is taken on these miscreants and his powers are returned! You look like just the villain for the job. Challenging.
Hey everyone, only had enough money to pay for one account and it's not the one I normally post with. So this is Rial Vestro letting you know that I've just republished my first story arch. Check back in the signature of my last post for arch ID. It's 1 of 3 Lord Imperial's Origin.
Changes I've made.
All custom characters now have descriptions.
Standard characters have been added to my custom groups. Coralax and Spectral Pirates are now part of the Flying Dutchman and the Standard Legacy Chain have been added in with my Custom versions. Standard characters have been recolored but I have not changed their descriptions.
Level range has been changed to 1-54. This also means that depending on your level you may see a very different arrangement of enemies every time you do the story arch. The standard NPCs will only show up if you're in their level range. (I've tested this.)
The Stranger's powers have been changed to Dual Pistols/Willpower
Custom Legacy Chain have been made harder. I recommend useing a character in the same level range as the standard Legacy Chain. (Between 5 and 30) The customs aren't as difficult when there are standard characters mixed in. If you attempt the arch outside the standard level range and only fight my customs be prepaired for large mobs of pet casters.
The Circle of Thorn helper in the 3rd mission has been changed to a Random CoT named CoT Leader. This is to better accomidate that the story arch now reaches across all levels.
4th mission map has been changed to Atlas Park Fashion show so no more astroid that doesn't make sence to be there in a CoT mission.
The other 2 story archs have not yet been updated. I intend to work on one a week. Please try the first story arch and give me your feed back so I can make changes as quickly as possible. Hopefully by next week I'll have my normal account working again.
OK I lied. I had nothing else to do so I worked on 2 of 3 Lord Imperial's Girl Trouble. See Rial Vestro signature for arch ID.
Changes made.
You might notice in the mission description before you even start playing that a typo which read "two many villains" now says "Three main villains". "Neither of which are actually evil" has also been changed to "Two of which are not actually evil"
The demon now has an offical name, a new look, and new power sets. Tsul (Lust backwards) now looks like a demon doupleganger of Cameron the Lovely. Her powers are Demon Summoning/Pain Domination.
A new Custom Group, Goth Soul Demons, has been added. Tsul has been moved into this new group. 4 Custom minions, 2 Custom Lt.s, and 1 Custom Boss has been created for this group. Several Demon looking standard NPCs have also been added in. The group may look very different depending on your level.
The first mission map has been changed to Bat'zul Hell.
Battles have been replaced with patrolls. Some are Circle of Thorns others are Goth Soul Demons. (Note: Most Goth Soul Demons are enemy but the Patrolls are set to Ally.)
Goth Soul Gang has been updated. Thugs now use the Dual Pistols version of the powers shared with Thugs and Enforcers use all the Dual Pistols powers EXCEPT for what is shared with Thugs. Standard NPCs have also been added, the group may look very different depending on your level.
Custom Group Midnight Squad has been updated. Custom characters added and more Standard NPCs added. Group may look very different depending on your level.
All custom NPCs now have descriptions. Standard NPCs have custom coloring but do not have custom descriptions.
I played threw just before posting and it's allot more fun now. With the mix of custom and standard NPCs and 3 different custom groups, the extra space really helped bring my original vision for these mission out more. This was an awfully hard story arch to do because I never had space for the 2 groups now I have space for 3.
3 of 3 has just been updated.
Changes made...
Like the other 2 the story arch is now 1-54.
And for the first time ever I have enough space to create Vestereo's Army which appears in the last mission of the story arch. Like other custom groups I've created it is a blend of custom characters and standard characters with custom coloring. There are 4 custom minions, 3 custom LT.s, and 3 custom Bosses as well as the standard NPCs which you may or may not see depending on your level.
All custom NPCs now have descriptions.
I've added Tsul as an ally in the 2nd mission as well as the Goth Soul Demons who will start to patrol the mission as soon as Tsul is rescued. This should make the mission a little easier to solo.
Lord Vestereo has been changed to spawn off of Lord Imperial's health rather than Merlin's. This will both make the mission easier and make it so Lord Vestereo can help kill Merlin.
The NPCs have been changed from Arachnoids to Circle of Thorns.
3rd mission, the Storming of Rain you need to kill to complete the mission now has a unique name so you can tell him apart from the rest and his name is... Bob.
4th mission has been changed to Custom Legacy Chain.
Last mission map is now Sybil Temple.
The first mission may be changed to a custom group because I don't really know if the standard NPCs can be leveled down for low level players. Please let me know if this poses problems and I'll work out a solution.
Got my normally account back. The Arch IDs are still the same and I think I'm completly done with updates.
I just came across this thread in a desperate attempt to keep boredom at bay since my main comp that can run the game is in the shop atm. as such I havent had the chance to run any AE arcs in a long time but am curious as what you guys might think about two I made (in my signature)
the first is my attempt to explain why there are no animals of any kind running around the Paragon Isles.
the second is my "going for gold" attempt at making a truely challenging arc. Id recommend trying to run it solo and then again on max diff team of 8 for challenge.
I don't have the arc files so I can't change any thing any more but I would sure love to see what people think of it. (I think it got lost in the sea of farming arcs on live) I havent had much feedback on either one. thanks
Bonnie and her bunny
Arc ID: 59406
The Trash Came Back
Arc ID: 350303
I just edited the Custom group "Vestereo's Army" that appears in the last mission of my 3rd story arch.
There are now 5 custom Minions, 4 LTs, and 4 Bosses. The new ones I just made are ment to be the Soul Exstraction versions of the zombies that were already in the group. Their powers are slightly different.
Zombies and Spirit, primary powers are the same but Zombie Noxious Breath has been replaced by Spectral Wounds for Spirits.
Death Knights are set to Melee as they use Broad Sword. Tortured Souls are set to fight at range with a few Dark Miasma powers. This is probably the only case where the zombie version is going to be harder than the ghost version.
Lich basically has all the powers from a dark/dark defender. Wraith I simply switched out the Defender for the Mastermind version of the primary power set so Wraiths will be able to summon pets making them much harder than the Lich version.
Also zombies can't fly, Soul Exstractions have Reflection Flight effects so you'll be able to tell them apart because they'll have that extra aura on them from the flight effects.
I was testing my story arcs on a new character and played from 1 to 7 the first run threw all 3. While doing this I noticed I noticed that the custom Legacy Chain are way too hard even with standard Legacy Chain mixed in and the custom versions aren't even worth XP. I'll be fixing that shortly. Sorry to anyone that has already played threw the story arcs and if you haven't done so already please wait till Wednessday while I work these bugs out.
- = edit = -
Hello ago. I've worked out the problems in my first 2 story arcs, tested them, and everything is running as planed now. The last story arc is going to take me longer because for some reason when I went to edit mode Vestereo's Army vanished in a puff of logic... I just wanted to quote Douglas Adams there but really I have to rebuild Vestereo's Army from scratch. They're still in the published version of the story arch but they're not showing up on the edit mode.
So I reviewed Bonnie and her bunny (Arc ID: 59406)
The first map was good. I liked the combination of the smoke filled cave and the custom critters (all you could see through the smoke was the glowing eyes, very atmospheric). However there wasn't much else in the map. A few clues of dialogue would have made it perfect. My lvl 33 corrupter nearly died a few times, which I liked (my brute tends to cake walk through anything).
Second mission and I think the author has stopped trying. No dialogue, even as you rescue the doctor and the clue you get isn't finished. The intro and exit dialogues need work. I'm ok with the over the type exclamations (!! and ??? type stuff) as it has a bit of a comic book vibe but please get the capitalisations right.
Last map and the typos are even more prevalent. I wasn't able to finish this one as the EB was too tough for my corrupter (I suspect if I'd had better inspirations I'd have been fine, ran out of end too soon)
Basically I thought the idea of the arc was good, the first map was entertaining, but it seemed the author gave up after the initial effort. A bit of polishing, maybe throw in some advanced encounters (like patrols) and this could be a lot of fun.
====================
I'd love some feedback on my own arc
Arc name: Die Eckleman Die!
Arc ID: 416656
Length: 4 missions
Levels: 28-31
Morality: Villaniousl
Enemy Groups: Rogue robots, Custom
Description: A multiverse of murder await! How far will one man go for vengence?
Ok, reviewing Die Eckleman Die!
First of all, you needs some grammar work in the introduction. (missing comma after 'I am more than you see before you') Interesting Initial concept.
Nice character work in the first mission.
Ambushes are a bit extreme in the second missions. You might want to tone those down. That map is busy already and I was still fighting 4 guys when another 6 showed up.
Typo in third mission collection 'You recovered some date.' and misspelling of Desiccated in another.
Ok, very interesting twist to the whole story here. Again, some more crazy ambushes that make me glad I was on my brute.
Nice ending to the whole thing. No souvenir though? A story like yours can't end without some creepy object you didn't have before!
So, final thoughts:
Great story
Great character design
Great map choices
Too many overstacked ambushes
Some general editing needed in the text.
---------------------
My arc needs plays:
Arc Title: Scheduling Conflict
Arc ID: #411118
Factions: Freakshow, Luddites, Goldbrickers, Arachnos, custom patrols in last mission
Morality: Rogue
Length: Rather short if you want to skip some content. Longer if you fight all the way through.
Level Range: Lowbie arc, auto-exempts you to lv 20.
A Guide to Champion Drama
My Videos
Ashcraft been published.
Thanks for the feedback. I'll work on those typos and see if I can rebalance the ambushes.
I liked your arc too, didn't see any typos and it was genuinely very funny. Only thing I can mention is that maybe I missed something but the intro bit for the last mission didn't make it clear what she was asking me to do.
Sorry about the delay, my internet went out before I could get to finishing my last story arch. I just got my internet back today but my account is inactive. 
(note: the missions are saved on an alternate account not the one I'm posting with.)
Hey all I just published my main character's origin story to the MA system and I am now looking for feedback I would really appreciate any feedback at all. Story is based in Medieval Times, and as you play through read the clues often to follow the story. =) Arc#418381 Thank you very much for any and all feedback.
Sorry it's taken so long but I've finally come to a finishing point on my story archs so test them out and let me know what you think. If you've done the original version you can feel free to compair and talk about where I've made them better or worse depending on what your opinion might be.
This is my first attempt at doing ANYTHING on AE, and I was hoping for some critical feedback. I know it needs work, because I have such a large idea in my head that I can't seem to get into the game. Be as harsh as necessary please!
Arc ID: 433334
"Blinded by the Light!"
@GrantCrowe
Thanks in advance...
My review of "Blinded by the Light"
I liked the arc, but I think I needs a lot more polish. I saw a decent about of spelling errors so I suggest you go back and proofread the whole arc. Here's what I found before I quit keeping track:
Description
*"LIight"
Mission 1
*Busy Text: "Not only does Europe counting"
*Entrance: "what the smell it"
*Objective: "X out of X peices of Light Tech"
*Recovered Professor Light: "Thank's again"
*Rescuing Professor Light: It's Sieg Heil not "Zig Hail" according to Google.
Other Suggestions
*Professor Light's description could be better. Why is he so important?
*Why not change to the Time Monitor into an Ouroboros Mender and tie the arc into the game's lore? Or is he already?
*I'll be honest here: I couldn't finish the arc. The Mind Witch pwned my 28 fire/fire tank even when I was popping purples. She's got exotic mez and loads of psy damage. It'd be nice if she was toned down or changed entirely so the arc would be a little easier to solo.
*The third mission is timed even though I'm supposed to be time traveling? It didn't make any sense to me.
On the positive side:
*Haupsturmfuhrer was a fun villain. I like how his powers changed in the second mission. It made a lot of sense that he wouldn't be able to call in any mercs if he just escaped prison.
*The costumes of the custom characters were awesome especially Professor Light's.
*I loved how the second mission jumped straight to the fight with Haupsturmfuhrer
*The story kept me interested.
Like I said, I think the arc was pretty good overall, but it could be great with a little polish. I hope that helps! My global is @FlamingFlea if I can be of anymore help.
As for my arc:
Superjuice! - Brought to you by the Crey Corporation!
*Arc ID: 433692
* Description: Hoping to capitalize on the defenselessness a mere mortal can feel in this super powered city, Crey has developed a serum which the company promises will endow anyone with a variety of super powers, but when they send a gang ridden area samples of the serum, side effects may occur. [LBMA]
Thank you for the detailed feedback!
And I ran through testing and realized how strong Mind Witch is earlier today...I'm already working on toning down the Super Soldiers. Trying to find that fine line between challenging and easy seems to be an art form...haha. And thank you on the costume compliments! I originally started the Arc to be an origin story for my blaster, Professor Light, but got such a grand idea to spin off, using Haupsturmfuhrer and his boss. The story involving the Mind Witch and the other Super Soldiers is something I think I may turn into a whole other mission, because I have so many ideas for them and quite a large backstory.
I plan on playing your mission later today as well! Thanks again for the feedback, and I hope I got you interested enough to try my future arcs!
Would you mind revuewing mine? I've made a number of revamps to this arc since it's creation.
id# 67087
Through the Looking Glass Part 1
by @Cuppa LLX
Earth X lost the war with the Rikti in 04 due to a lack of Hero emergence. Since that time Hero emergence has been at a all time low despite the greater dangers. With the Rikti in control they reach out to us, Prime Earth, to help and like good medeling heroes we step up to help defend this world and beat back the Rikti Threat.
AE # 67087: Journey through the Looking Glass - Save the World
LLX VirtueVerse! - Check out my crazy Toons
This is the size of group that we have balanced AVs for, 6.
-Positron 06/07/06 07:27 PM
I made some more changes to my missions. Every mission now includes a Doppelganger with his own story arch that ties into the existing story. I thought this would make my story more interesting to the random player going threw the story archs.
There are 4 different types of Doppelgangers you'll run into but I don't want to do the run down here. Play and find out for yourself. 
Edit: Whoops didn't read the OP. Nothing to see here... move on *embarrassed*