Mission Arc Critiquing Thread
MA: 101867. "A Ghost Story....."
From the slums of the Rogue Isles to the highest levels of Arachnos. A tragic love, unforgivable betrayal, a web of lies & a truth long buried is uncovered! The untold backstory of how a Night Widow named Belladonna Vetrano came to be the Ghost-Widow and the man she loved then died for.
From the slums of the Rogue Isles to the highest levels of Arachnos. A tragic love, unforgivable betrayal, a web of lies & a truth long buried is uncovered! The untold story of how a Night Widow named Belladonna Vetrano came to be the Ghost-Widow & the man she loved then died for.
MA:101857
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Arc Name: The Maltese Bird of Prey
Arc ID: 207827
Faction: Neutral
Diff Level: 37-50
Playtime: 30-60 mins
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tl;dr: 3 stars.
Pros: A solid arc; short, to the point missions; great costumes; good atmosphere.
Cons: Multiple typos; minor plot holes; dialog needs some work.
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Thank you for the review, and its just the kind of critique I've been seeking, especially the grammar and misspelling catches. As for dialogue or plot holes, that comes from the translation I did of the the source material and a desire to keep true to it. (i.e. The characters always met in nice hotels or offices, so I never considered using one of the Abandoned maps.)
That said, even if you've never seen the movie or read the book- you should still be able to play the Arc and understand the story as presented. So I'll definitely address those issues for the uninitiated.
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As for dialogue or plot holes, that comes from the translation I did of the the source material and a desire to keep true to it. (i.e. The characters always met in nice hotels or offices, so I never considered using one of the Abandoned maps.)
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One of the problems here is that what may seem like thick (even oppressively so) atmosphere in a book or movie comes across as depressingly thin when presented in this format. Primarily, this is due to the space limitations. In book form, a couple of colloquialisms per page is enough (or even too much); here, we get at most a few paragraphs, so I'd rather those be just dripping with flavor even if it means not being perfectly true to the source.
Regarding the maps, I see you dilemma, and I remember enough about the book (although it's been a long time since I've read it) to understand the problem. There may not be a good map to use that's perfectly true to the source. That said, it's a shame that the great effect of the costumes is washed out by the overly colorful maps.
... you guys make me nervous. But after extensively testing it myself, I've finally decided to post this arc which I've been working on for quite awhile now.
Arc Name:Pest Control
Arc ID: 220938
Faction: Villainous
Recommended Level: 35-50
Playtime: 120+ minutes
There is an AV at the end, which I suspect might be the low point of the Arc if she is fought as an AV. I haven't fought her as an AV yet, but I suspect she'll be extremely hard if not impossible. She's difficult but doable as an EB in my experience. Feedback on this in particular would be great.
QR
Weatherby_Goode - "Heck, Carrion Creepers negates the knockdown from Carrion Creepers."
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... you guys make me nervous. But after extensively testing it myself, I've finally decided to post this arc which I've been working on for quite awhile now.
Arc Name:Pest Control
Arc ID: 220938
Faction: Villainous
Recommended Level: 35-50
Playtime: 120+ minutes
There is an AV at the end, which I suspect might be the low point of the Arc if she is fought as an AV. I haven't fought her as an AV yet, but I suspect she'll be extremely hard if not impossible. She's difficult but doable as an EB in my experience. Feedback on this in particular would be great.
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First mission: Maybe this was intential but there were no Arachnoids in the first mission as the title sugested.
The minions seem rather over powered. They should be easier to kill than the Lt.s but I feel like they're all Lt.s.
Second Mission appears to be buged. I've noticed this in alot of Delete all missions.
Arc Name: The Hero Who Loved Me
Arc ID: 232417
Levels: 45-50
Faction: Neutral
Creator Global/Forum Name: @Jade-Star
Difficulty Level: Medium
Synopsis: During a Rikti assault on Paragon City, a legendary hero goes missing. You must team up with Turbo Starr and unravel a mystery that may have deadly ramifications for Paragon City!
I'd appreciate feedback on this arc. I want to make sure the clues and dialogue are understandable, so any comments on maps/story parts is appreciated!
When you play it, pay close attention to the clues and character dialogue, as well as what transpires throughout the story. It is intended as a prologue to a much larger story that will be continued in future arcs.
I hope you will find it fun. It has a little bit of everything, and not everything is what it seems
Feedback is appreciated and feel free to PM me with questions or comments.
Thanks!
Shard Warrior - 50 MA/Regen/BM Scrapper
Founding Member and Leader : Shadow-Force
Co-Leader: Council of Heroes
"Whatever evils come this way... we will be there to stop them."
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First mission: Maybe this was intential but there were no Arachnoids in the first mission as the title sugested.
The minions seem rather over powered. They should be easier to kill than the Lt.s but I feel like they're all Lt.s.
Second Mission appears to be buged. I've noticed this in alot of Delete all missions.
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You're right, there aren't supposed to be arachnoids in the first mission. The idea is that Dobbs expected Arachnoids, because they're the only "giant bugs" that Grandville has ever dealt with.
When you say the minions are overpowered, what do you mean? It might be that you're being debuffed by the actual Lieutenants, it's a lot easier if you kill them first. I've found the minions to be almost too easy.
What do you mean bugged..? I'll change as needed if I know what I have to change.
Thanks for the feedback.
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Weatherby_Goode - "Heck, Carrion Creepers negates the knockdown from Carrion Creepers."
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When you say the minions are overpowered, what do you mean? It might be that you're being debuffed by the actual Lieutenants, it's a lot easier if you kill them first. I've found the minions to be almost too easy.
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When I first came into the mission there were ONLY Minions at the door. I didn't see any Lt. till I got further into it. What I mean by them being over powered is that the minions at the front of the mission seemed to be just as hard to kill as the Lt.s in the back. The Lt.s seem fine to me, just like any standard Lt. just the minions seemed more powerfull like they should be Lt.s allso.
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What do you mean bugged..? I'll change as needed if I know what I have to change.
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I don't think it's anything you did. This isn't the first time I've noticed this problem with defeat all missions. Some mob ends up either not spawning or spawns off the map where they're unreachable and the mission never ends despite haveing an empty map.
Arc Name: Curse Foretold Chapt 1
Arc ID: 213770
Faction: Neutral
Diff Level: 1-20
Playtime: 45-90 min
Hellions and custom Lt's here and there. End is an EB. Tried to make it solo and duo friendly. My first arc so looking for feedback. Chapt 2 is out there as well so you can just look for Curse Foretold and it will get both of em.
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Arc Name: The Hero Who Loved Me
Arc ID: 232417
Levels: 45-50
Faction: Neutral
Creator Global/Forum Name: @Jade-Star
Difficulty Level: Medium
Synopsis: During a Rikti assault on Paragon City, a legendary hero goes missing. You must team up with Turbo Starr and unravel a mystery that may have deadly ramifications for Paragon City!
I'd appreciate feedback on this arc. I want to make sure the clues and dialogue are understandable, so any comments on maps/story parts is appreciated!
When you play it, pay close attention to the clues and character dialogue, as well as what transpires throughout the story. It is intended as a prologue to a much larger story that will be continued in future arcs.
I hope you will find it fun. It has a little bit of everything, and not everything is what it seems
Feedback is appreciated and feel free to PM me with questions or comments.
Thanks!
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I had a post wrighten out and then lost it. Anyway I sent you the basics of what I wrote in game.
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Arc Name: Curse Foretold Chapt 1
Arc ID: 213770
Faction: Neutral
Diff Level: 1-20
Playtime: 45-90 min
Hellions and custom Lt's here and there. End is an EB. Tried to make it solo and duo friendly. My first arc so looking for feedback. Chapt 2 is out there as well so you can just look for Curse Foretold and it will get both of em.
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I'm working on this one. I got to the point where I ran out of Patrol XP, got debt, and decided it was time to log off for the night.
Need more variety in the powers for the Hellions Changed. When they're all Lt.s useing Flaming Aura they do crazy amounts of DMG. The main guy at the end of the mission was actully alot easier to kill because of this. Allso verry borring to kill the same guy repeatedly which is why I sugested adding more of a varity of guys into the group rather than just toneing them down. Maybe do both, not sure. I think the only reason they were so hard is because of stacking 3 or more Fire Auras.
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Arc Name: The Hero Who Loved Me
Arc ID: 232417
Levels: 45-50
Faction: Neutral
Creator Global/Forum Name: @Jade-Star
Difficulty Level: Medium
Synopsis: During a Rikti assault on Paragon City, a legendary hero goes missing. You must team up with Turbo Starr and unravel a mystery that may have deadly ramifications for Paragon City!
I'd appreciate feedback on this arc. I want to make sure the clues and dialogue are understandable, so any comments on maps/story parts is appreciated!
When you play it, pay close attention to the clues and character dialogue, as well as what transpires throughout the story. It is intended as a prologue to a much larger story that will be continued in future arcs.
I hope you will find it fun. It has a little bit of everything, and not everything is what it seems
Feedback is appreciated and feel free to PM me with questions or comments.
Thanks!
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I had a post wrighten out and then lost it. Anyway I sent you the basics of what I wrote in game.
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Thanks for trying out my arc and taking the time to send comments.
I had a couple of questions about your comments on it;
1. The character of Lt. Jameson in mission 1 - you said that this character should be male? I am just curious if whether the character is male or female makes any difference.
2. "Hero Reinforcements" (ie. Captain Amazing) runs away when rescued in mission 1 - Yes, he does run off, but this is due to him being wounded and heading to the infirmary. His dialogue when you find him says that he got hurt. The mission contact does say that "other heroes are responding" when you first speak to him and accept the mission. Captain Amazing is not intended to be an ally for the mission itself, as there is a reason for him to run off after you save him (beyond being wounded). His reasoning fits into what transpires in the 3rd mission and more importantly, the mission complete clue of mission 5. I'm curious if you read the clue or it did not make sense?
Thanks again for running the arc and providing your feedback!
Shard Warrior - 50 MA/Regen/BM Scrapper
Founding Member and Leader : Shadow-Force
Co-Leader: Council of Heroes
"Whatever evils come this way... we will be there to stop them."
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1. The character of Lt. Jameson in mission 1 - you said that this character should be male? I am just curious if whether the character is male or female makes any difference.
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Well, it's a male name. It kinda looks like you were useing it as a last name but every Jameson I know it's their first name and they're all male.
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2. "Hero Reinforcements" (ie. Captain Amazing) runs away when rescued in mission 1 - Yes, he does run off, but this is due to him being wounded and heading to the infirmary. His dialogue when you find him says that he got hurt. The mission contact does say that "other heroes are responding" when you first speak to him and accept the mission. Captain Amazing is not intended to be an ally for the mission itself, as there is a reason for him to run off after you save him (beyond being wounded). His reasoning fits into what transpires in the 3rd mission and more importantly, the mission complete clue of mission 5. I'm curious if you read the clue or it did not make sense?
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Maybe I should pay closer attention to the dialog.
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1. The character of Lt. Jameson in mission 1 - you said that this character should be male? I am just curious if whether the character is male or female makes any difference.
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Well, it's a male name. It kinda looks like you were useing it as a last name but every Jameson I know it's their first name and they're all male.
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I have to say, I have never met anyone that had Jameson as a first name, but there are many people that have it for a last name. Are you perhaps thinking of the name James? Which shortens into Jim or Jimmy or Jamey.
Justice Blues, Tech/Tank, Inv/SS
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Fighting The Future Trilogy
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Well, it's a male name. It kinda looks like you were useing it as a last name but every Jameson I know it's their first name and they're all male.
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I am appalled! How dare you shame this game with your non-comic-geekness? Three words: John Jonah Jameson.
"If I had Force powers, vacuum or not my cape/clothes/hair would always be blowing in the Dramatic Wind." - Tenzhi
Characters
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1. The character of Lt. Jameson in mission 1 - you said that this character should be male? I am just curious if whether the character is male or female makes any difference.
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Well, it's a male name. It kinda looks like you were useing it as a last name but every Jameson I know it's their first name and they're all male.
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I have to say, I have never met anyone that had Jameson as a first name, but there are many people that have it for a last name. Are you perhaps thinking of the name James? Which shortens into Jim or Jimmy or Jamey.
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Technically they could all be the same name. All you have to do is remove 2 letters to turn Jameson into James.
At any rate, I do know at least one person who's name is most definiatly Jameson, and I should be seeing him shortly sence his mom is giveing me a ride to work in about 10 min. (he's a year old and his mom is an actress, currently playing the part of Patty Andrews in "Sisters of Swing" which I work back stage for.)
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Well, it's a male name. It kinda looks like you were useing it as a last name but every Jameson I know it's their first name and they're all male.
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I am appalled! How dare you shame this game with your non-comic-geekness? Three words: John Jonah Jameson.
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lol I wasn't even thinking about Spider-man. I'm use to him just being JJ.
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Well, it's a male name. It kinda looks like you were useing it as a last name but every Jameson I know it's their first name and they're all male.
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You know after reading the responses to your comment here I can understand why you may have thought this. I guess the name automatically makes people think of J. Jonah Jameson, hence the thought the character should be male. It does not hurt to change it to something else. Although for the record I do know of a famous woman with the last name of "Jameson". Linking to further details about her is most likely not permitted on these forums. LOL!
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Maybe I should pay closer attention to the dialog.
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Yes IIRC he says something to the effect of "Ouch! That hurt!" when you first find him slumped over and surrounded by enemies in the mission. The premise is he had been defeated and is going to the medics similar to others in the mission. The final clue of the arc is supposed to get you thinking of why he runs off.
Shard Warrior - 50 MA/Regen/BM Scrapper
Founding Member and Leader : Shadow-Force
Co-Leader: Council of Heroes
"Whatever evils come this way... we will be there to stop them."
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Well, it's a male name. It kinda looks like you were useing it as a last name but every Jameson I know it's their first name and they're all male.
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You know after reading the responses to your comment here I can understand why you may have thought this. I guess the name automatically makes people think of J. Jonah Jameson, hence the thought the character should be male. It does not hurt to change it to something else. Although for the record I do know of a famous woman with the last name of "Jameson". Linking to further details about her is most likely not permitted on these forums. LOL!
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I was mostly thinking of it as a person's first name sence it's just 2 letters off from being "James" and like I said before, the actress playing Patty Andrews in Sisters of Swing named her son Jameson. Her husban who I've known longer is allso an actor but he's not currently in a show at the theater, probly because he's buisy running Beloved Pictures.
Anyway, didn't mention this before but James allso happens to be my name. Not Jameson but it could be if I wanted it to.
If you try my story achs listed in my signature, I am the contact for all thoughs missions. The idea was to break the 4th wall and just make a character who looks like me in real life or as close as I could get with the game. Having allready mentioned that I'm theater, yes this is why my game counterpart of myself is wearing all black.
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If you try my story achs listed in my signature, I am the contact for all thoughs missions. The idea was to break the 4th wall and just make a character who looks like me in real life or as close as I could get with the game. Having allready mentioned that I'm theater, yes this is why my game counterpart of myself is wearing all black.
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I'd be delighted to run through your arcs this evening.
Shard Warrior - 50 MA/Regen/BM Scrapper
Founding Member and Leader : Shadow-Force
Co-Leader: Council of Heroes
"Whatever evils come this way... we will be there to stop them."
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Arc Name: Curse Foretold Chapt 1
Arc ID: 213770
Faction: Neutral
Diff Level: 1-20
Playtime: 45-90 min
Hellions and custom Lt's here and there. End is an EB. Tried to make it solo and duo friendly. My first arc so looking for feedback. Chapt 2 is out there as well so you can just look for Curse Foretold and it will get both of em.
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I'm working on this one. I got to the point where I ran out of Patrol XP, got debt, and decided it was time to log off for the night.
Need more variety in the powers for the Hellions Changed. When they're all Lt.s useing Flaming Aura they do crazy amounts of DMG. The main guy at the end of the mission was actully alot easier to kill because of this. Allso verry borring to kill the same guy repeatedly which is why I sugested adding more of a varity of guys into the group rather than just toneing them down. Maybe do both, not sure. I think the only reason they were so hard is because of stacking 3 or more Fire Auras.
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I said I would get back to this so here it is...
The thing I said before about toneing the Hellions Changed down, I redid that mission and they don't seem as hard this time around. I don't know if you changed them or if it's because I was on a different character when I restarted it who could more easily take the DMG. At any rate I sent this to you in game as well but I still think you need more of a varity in that group.
It looks like every single member of Hellions Changed has Fire Blast and Fire Shields and frankly it's just a little boring. The last mission has a nice mix of Eclips Changed and Eclips Necromancy so it's not so bad. It'd be nice to have more than that even but with the restrictions it might not be possible. At least 2 different guys in each custom group (not counting Bosses) would be great. Maybe for Hellions Changed add someone with Fire Melee and Thermal or use Shield Defence with the Elimental Fire Shield. Anything other than Fire Blast/Fire Shields just to put a little more varity into it.
Arc Name: Black Rose
Arc ID: 77448
Levels: 1-50 ( Custom enemy group )
Author global: @Tyger
Difficulty: Medium ( Contains EB in final mission. )
Overview: Jimmy "Epine Rouge" Krais has not reported in. He was last seen entering the lab of his mentor, Sorcha Rose. During the investigation of his disappearance, uncover the source of the corruption infecting Rose.
This is an arc that's been up for a while but hasn't gotten many hits.
Known issues: The ally in the final mission is set to spawn "front", but will at times appear at the very back of the mission.
Virtue Server
Avatar art by Daggerpoint
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Known issues: The ally in the final mission is set to spawn "front", but will at times appear at the very back of the mission.
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I've encountered this on the Break Out map. No matter what you do allys spawn in the jail cells at the end of the mission.
My second story arch has a mission where you need to help Lord Imperial break Cameron the Lovely out of jail and he should be waiting for you at the mission entrence but insted it looks like he's in jail allso. Allthough he is guarded by prisoners rather than the PPD so I think that helps at least make it look like the prisoners trapped him in there.
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I've had to change the above recently due to the fact the Prisoners are no longer in the mission creator. I'm playing through all my story archs again after makeing changes to them.
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I don't really get what you mean by "real time history lesson, this is where you come in." Am I supposed to re-imagine the AE system as something else? Whatever... diving in!
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That meant that you were living through the secret history of how AE came about by being placed inside that history. I'll look into making that more obvious.
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After defending the converter (why? not sure, but that's the mission goal, so I DO IT!),
[/ QUOTE ] It's what the freaks were sent to destroy. The data stream technology in "good guy" hands leaves the good guys a way to rescue heroes trapped in the data stream.
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a linked goal pops up: Himini Giblets. I guess that's a boss name, and I gotta go fight a boss now? Wish there were some exposition here. OK, kill more Freaks,
omw...
Yes, Himini Giblets is a Freakshow boss. He goes down quickly, and with him dies the dream that a Freak boss may name himself without a l33tsp34k reference to pop culture or electronics. Perhaps my contact will explain a bit more about his illustrious past...
[/ QUOTE ] He wasn't anything special, I just figured for a major operation like that the gang needed a leader.
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Mission 2
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No, my contact says, "Really the Freakshow were hired to destroy a data stream converter? Maybe you should go raid another Crey lab." The logic eludes me, but it's spelled out AFTER I accept the mish. Alrighty.
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I'll reconsider that branch of text.
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Okay, running through the base, clearing it out, come across a boss. Half way through kicking her [censored], I'm suddenly booted and mission failed. Hrm?? Saw two "interrogate" options, assumed I had a couple of boss fights to do? I sure missed something, wonder what it was. <shrug>
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Hmm...there's a linked event to her defeat, as she's supposed to tell you that arachnos is picking up a data stream converter (which you are then supposed to destroy so they can't). Somehow the arachnos guys must have been triggered with you not nearby....
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Boss fight... Grimz doesn't look like he's wearing Council standard-issue. Is this one of those "hey I put my toon in my story arc" story arcs?
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Only because I couldn't figure out how to dress him in arachnos gear...is there someway to unlock the standard arbiter costume for use in my arcs?
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At half or 1/4 health point (hard to tell, Grimz's health is dropping faster than the 2008 DJI) a HUGE ambush joins the party. I count five or six mobs, including two LT's. Seems big for diff level 3, but maybe I just got a weird roll. I pull it out, but not sure I'd count this as "solo-friendly." (Nor does it claim to be, afaik...)
[/ QUOTE ] There's actually 3 ambushes 3/4, 1/2, and 1/4. I guess he's going down too quickly so they all showed up at the same time..
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Full props to the Achilles' -RES debuffs for that victory, btw, they really worked Grimz over on that one.
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I don't know what that means...is there something I should do to make his health go down slower?
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Wow, small map and look who's standing just inside the door? Countess Crey!! OK, mercs, this is a stealth op. Come in quiet-like, kk? Good. And... here we go! No, no, ignore the Countess for now,just take out those four Crey tanks. Oh, six. What? Seven? Fine, we'll come back for the last two. Okay, Crey goes down and... not over. Must be a mob hiding out here somewhere... yes! C'mere you little Cryo Tank! OK, that does it. Virtual victory locked in.
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I'll reconsider the map for that one.
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Good length for the arc. Goldilocks and all that. Overall, I'm hovering between 3 & 4 stars... first couple of missions didn't start off on the right note, but I really like the roach motel concept, so let's call it 4. Nicely done.
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Thanks very much for the review
It seems I15 has allowed for more custom character space in story archs. I have taken advantage of this to replace Standard mobs who were just way too low for my missions anyway.
BTW you'll notice Girl Trouble now has a new ID in my sig.
I made alot of changes to that one and had to remove 2 custom characters but I think over all it made it better. At any rate sence you still can't delete characters while in the mission creator I had to save my progress locally and the end result being I lost whatever rateing I had before.
I'd appreciate feed back on any of them but I'd really like to get a rateing on Girl Trouble more than the other two.
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Arc Name: The Maltese Bird of Prey
Arc ID: 207827
Faction: Neutral
Diff Level: 37-50
Playtime: 30-60 mins
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tl;dr: 3 stars.
Pros: A solid arc; short, to the point missions; great costumes; good atmosphere.
Cons: Multiple typos; minor plot holes; dialog needs some work.
I played this solo with a 50 DM/SD Brute, on Diff. 4. Stream of Consciousness review:
Mission 1. Bit of an abrupt intro dialog. Writing is okay (serviceable, but could be better), but I'd like to know why Mr. Diamond is laying all of this on me. Why am I here?
Cool costumes; I like the washed-out effect.
I find Arch. Cool twist, but not unexpected. Nav. text is now "Help Arch tail Thursty." Huh? This makes no sense, considering. And... I find Thursty. Of course.
Mission 2. Contact dialog could use some sprucing up again. It has shades of Film Noir, but for this kind of story I'd rather see you lay it on thick. Again, I wonder, why am *I* doing this, instead of Mr. Diamond.
"slip- for now." -> "slip... for now."
"charachter" -> "character"
"No questions asked". -> "No questions asked."
Joey's dialog would make more sense if he weren't surrounded by thugs while you beat him down. Otherwise, t'was clever.
Also, Joey's surname is Moracco in the briefing, but Morocco in the debriefing.
Mission 3. Complaints again as above. I still haven't seen why I'm doing all the heavy lifting.
"five-thousand" -> either "five thousand" or "five G's" (or some other period appropriate colloquialism).
"Thursby" is "Thursty"? Or vice versa?
I'm not sure I like this map choice; it's too colorful, in contrast to the costumes, and doesn't feel period appropriate. Especially the computers sitting in the cubicles.
Wilma's dialog seems to indicate a past history with my character that doesn't make sense. "Keep on riding me..." as an opening line? Swapping the order might work better; try placing the "Shove off." line before the "riding me" line.
Well hello, Mr. Diamond. What are you doing here?
Oh glowy, where art thou? Guess I shouldn't have skipped the first floor. For such a small map, this glowie hunt is proving painful. And, of course... a trashcan hidden in the corner, blocked by the stairwell. Great spawn point, CoX. The trashcan's name in the target reticule is a little odd, too; instead of "Find out what's got the..." maybe change it to "An Interesting Looking Dustbin" or some such.
Debriefing: "I got slipped a..." should be "I get slipped a..." Also, maybe shorten "a Mickey Finn" to just "a mickey;" it's more concise, and seems more in character.
Avoid dashes in your text; they are almost never grammatically appropriate. Use commas, semicolons, ellipses, etc. instead.
Mission 4. Morraco/Morroco is now Moroacco?
"Subded" -> "subdued."
"My guess is if..." -> "My guess is, if..."
"it's got" -> "its got"
New mobs! Woah! What are they doing here? Well, I guess no period piece would be complete without them.
On the glowie: "tougher then" -> "tougher than"
And a thug makes the mistake of hitting me with -fly. Guess the mooks have a death wish.
Huh? Invisible hostage? Might want to change his powersets. Mission exit makes little sense, sense Capt. Jakoby got away.
Mission 5. I'm at a loss as to why Mr. Diamond is giving me this last mission. Multiple plot holes here. Why is the Fat Man getting the prize? Why are we having Wilma take the fall for mission one? And, lastly, why am I doing this again, and where's my cut?
"turned up" -> "turned out"
"dead-end" -> "dead end"
"tie-up" -> "tie up"
"lose" -> "loose"
Once again, I dislike this office map; it's too colorful, which detracts from the otherwise awesome costumes.
"Setting up" means "beating up," I see. This would make more sense if it were a "planting evidence" style objective. Joey's lines could be more clever; especially his defeated line. And I do for the Fat Man as well; the mission briefing is making a little more sense now, but I still don't like it.
Debrief: I like the parting line. Haha.
Summary: As it stands, this is a solid three star arc; however, with a little effort cleaning up the typos and filling in the plot holes, I would easily bump this up to four. Spruce up the contact dialog and I'd give this a five.
The difficulty seemed reasonable; however, all the mobs are custom, which means low level characters should beware. There's only one EB (who appears twice). I cake walked this on ruthless with my Brute, but he's heavily IO'd (although, on the couple of occasions that the EB actually hit me, he hurt). On heroic/villainous it should be doable by just about every archetype.
Lastly, I'm not sure it's possible, but I'd really recommend that you replace those standard office maps with something less colorful. Maybe the CoV Abandoned Office set? Your mobs look great, but surrounding them by a brightly lit, colorful backdrop greatly detracts from the effect.
*****
And now, my submission, for your consideration:
Arc Name: The Superadine Withdrawal Blues
Arc ID: 205046
Faction: Neutral
Levels: 1-50
Playtime: 30-60 mins
Enemies: Council, PPD, Custom
Description: An old Troll tries to go straight, but bad habits die hard. A humorous MA arc for levels 1-50. (Warning: Contains an EB.)
Difficulty: Moderate to Hard
I've had no trouble running this arc solo and with small teams at higher levels, but have not tested it extensively for lower level toons so I'm unsure of how it will play in that range.