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Quote:
My new arc:
New Flame Rising
ID - 161066
Alignment - Heroic
Length - 4 missions
Recommended character level - 30+
Difficulty - Designed as a TF. Tough but solo-able for good solo characters. Not for every character. Not too-hard for teams that play together often (like SG members), but may be harder for pick-up teams. Not much mez'ing at all, but mostly Fire damage mobs.
I really like your arc Nyte. I didnt see any grammer issues, which is GREAT (finally someone that spell checks!) the plot held together, and all in all, i had a great time. I didn't really have too much issue your EBs though, except arsonette, she was a bit of a pain, mainly because i dont like to use inspirations, but for her, I needed to pop a medium purple. The rest were pushovers really, Fire fiend would've gave me issues but because hes a fire shields, he didn't have an KB/KD protection so i pretty much had him on his butt the entire fight.
A few things i would've liked to see in your arc was more dialogue from the EBs. When I was fighting them, they really only said one line at the start of the fight and thats it. Would've been nice to see one of them something like "Time to turn up the heat" or something like that.
Another thing that would've been cool is if in your city hall mission where I had to run in the sewers and get the bombs, it would've been pretty funny to see the Inferno Force messing with beginning heroes. City Hall is in atlas park and lots of lowbies do lots of sewer runs down there. I was just praying that there were some lowbie heroes down there saying something like "Please dont hurt me, I'm just being a hero for the girls" or something like that - and when I saved them, they say something like "Omg, it's Lyte Fyre. Dude, you're the reason I decided to be a hero, could I get your autograph" lol.
Overall, I gave it 4 stars, mainly because of non-dialogued EB fights, and the city hall mission. Not because there weren't lowbies down there, but because finding 6 bombs on a large sewer map was a bit of a pain.
Btw, I ran your arc with my lv50 DB/WP scrapp. He's a beast!
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I absolutely agree about the EBs and dialogue. I've been wracking my brain trying to think of something more for each of them to say that would show their personality while still pushing the story of their VG. Glad you noticed that... shows that I'm not just obsessing, hehe.
Also, I'd like to point out to anyone reading this that this reviewer's idea of having lowbie heroes in the sewers is EXACTLY why we all participate in these threads. That idea is friggin' brilliant, and I never thought of it!
Thanks so much for the review. 
*runs off to think about how to get that to work...*
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Also, I'd like to point out to anyone reading this that this reviewer's idea of having lowbie heroes in the sewers is EXACTLY why we all participate in these threads. That idea is friggin' brilliant, and I never thought of it!
Thanks so much for the review.
*runs off to think about how to get that to work...*
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LoL, glad I could help.
If you need any help with dialogue for the lowbies, than pm me or holla at me at my global @Rowdy. For now, here's one off the top of my head...
Lowbie: Hey uhh, Nyte Fire, you wouldnt happen to be looking for a side kick by any chance would ya??
- Im Not Talking Fast, You're Just Listening Slow.
- To Each His Own
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Also, I'd like to point out to anyone reading this that this reviewer's idea of having lowbie heroes in the sewers is EXACTLY why we all participate in these threads. That idea is friggin' brilliant, and I never thought of it!
Thanks so much for the review.
*runs off to think about how to get that to work...*
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LoL, glad I could help.
If you need any help with dialogue for the lowbies, than pm me or holla at me at my global @Rowdy. For now, here's one off the top of my head...
Lowbie: Hey uhh, Nyte Fire, you wouldnt happen to be looking for a side kick by any chance would ya??
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Well, unfortunately I was too close to the size cap to add any lowbie heroe rescues, but I did add some flavor text that alludes to noob heroes in the sewers under Atlas Park. Thanks for the idea
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Okay, my arc's name is....
Arc name: Going Rogue (I made this LONG before PS's annoucement.)
Arc Id: 161066.
- Just go to search and type in Rowdy2 and it'll appear.
*Note* Keep in mind that I made this arc with scrappers in mind. However, I did complete it with my lv50 NRG/elec blaster and lv43 Earth/rad troller. As mentioned, I had scrapperdom in mind, but it is soloable with other builds. Either that, or teams and what not.
Good Luck!
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I've just finished running your arc. I ran through the first 1.5 missions solo with my lvl 23 Illusion Control/Kinetics controller. At that point, a friend logged on and we ran the rest of mission 2 and all of mission 3 together with his spines/regen scrapper. Two more of my friends logged on with their radiation/radiation defender and an elec/elec blaster,and the four of us ran the final mission.
The good:
Overall concept was good. Plot worked out. Most of the missions were fine and reasonably fun to play.
What could be improved:
I tend a bit nitpicky about such things, but there were numerous punctuation errors (missing apostrophes & question marks, spacing issues, etc.). Also, some of the phrasings were awkard. Nothing deal breaking, but it could use some improvement.
Examples:
<ul type="square">[*] "Are masters of the fire using"[*] "Thoughout the entire Organization, Lord Rell is in command of the X division"[*] "I dont envy you Purple Badger. Not in the least bit."[*] "Also, you'll have to disable to the master security system in his lair.,"[/list]
The combination of iconic CoH superheroes and groups with several custom villain groups seemed weird, but not necessarily bad. The custom villain groups weren't anything special, and the names didn't seem particularly epic or super-villainous.
While the overall plot worked, the steps to get there seemed clunky. It may have just been the wording used that made it seem that way; I'm not entirely sure.
Mission-specific comments:
Mission 1
I liked the fact that it strongly urged you to group. It made it clear that this was intended to be a team mission.
That being said, I decided to solo it with my controller, who was bumped up to like lvl 40 to meet the minimum level of the mission. Basically throw down the phantom army to provide tanking and some damage, attack for all I'm worth, rinse & repeat.
Some of the bosses were tough. Valkyrie in particular required three usages of phantom army, and did kill me once. Plus she got a free resurrection in the middle, so I had to kill her twice.
A minor quibble: the desk glowy didn't fit well with the map. It's a wooden desk with a skull on it in a high-tech installation.
The mission was fine; get in, kill elite-type bosses and some minions in a small map.
Mission 2
Again it suggested teaming up. Again I ignored the suggestion.
I don't know whether it was intentional, but I liked the fact that the mission was orange-hued. It made the place look hot, which suited the villains' powers.
Pretty easy mission; nothing really special. Get in, work way through standard fire minions, kill boss on a small map. I don't know what improvements I would suggest making.
Plot-wise, the mission followed well from the previous one. It worked well on that level.
Mission 3
I'm not sure what my thoughts are about the "leave no survivors" plot part. I know it should make things seem dark and anti-heroic. But I guess I'm just used to "arresting" foes so much that it didn't seem that different. But it did fit thematically, so I guess it works.
My scrapper ally was taken from about half health to dead from one of the Freezer lieutenant's seismic smash. He has 628 max hp. It did 314 damage. I heard the phrase "being hit by the truck" thrown around by my fellow player there. So perhaps thelieutenants are a bit too powerful.
In terms of game play, this mission is similar to #2: get in, kill minions, defeat boss, get out. Nothing to write home about, but nothing bad either.
Mission 4
I missed part of the intro text since I accidentally clicked through. Though I did get the gist of things. Again, it followed from the previous plot, though the actual pacing to get there seemed a bit clunky.
The map chosen for this mission was great thematically. However, from a gameplay sense it wasn't great. I mostly blame Paragon Studios for its treatment of outdoor MA missions. That being said, it's an outdoor zone where you can't view your map, and you need to find your four objectives. So there's wandering around looking for your targets. It could have been worse; as far as outdoor maps go it wasn't huge. Unfortunately, short of reworking the plot to fit a better map, I don't know of a good solution to the problem. As I said, the map fits the plot perfectly.
Despite my complaints, we weren't really wandering around *too* terribly long before we found everything. So I may just be complaining on principle rather than any problems with your mission specifically. So maybe it does work. See what others have to say before you make any concrete decisions on that part.
Again, the hard-hitting enemies were problematic, and I think all four of us were defeated at least once.
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Summary: the plot worked overall, and most of the gameplay wasn't bad. However, there are numerous smaller things that could be tweaked to tighten things up as a whole. Something could be done to give missions #2 & #3 more interesting game play. Mission #4 had the problem of being an outdoor map, though it wasn't too bad of one, all things considered.
I rated it 3 stars, and looking at the overall rankings from my fellow teammates, it appears they did as well (on average).
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My Arc:
Arc Name: Destined Champion of the Multiverse
Arc ID: 128476
Faction: Custom Group
Creator Global/Forum Name: @Purple Badger
Difficulty Level: Moderate?
Synopsis: Your character has been chosen to protect the multiverse. You travel through various dimensions tracking down threats to the peace of all dimensions.
Estimated Time to Play: 2 hours?
Link to More Details and Feedback
I have more details on this arc at the link above. Basically, it's not City of Heroes themed. Rather, you travel through various parallel worlds to fight a very specific threat. It's based on a pencil & paper RPG I ran, so I'm hoping to get people who weren't in that campaign to give me their thoughts on how well it works.
hey guys, don't want to be pushy, but it looks like my arc's been skipped twice now (my most recent post was a repost with a rating for a different arc) so i would appreciate it if someone could give it a try. That being said, if you don't want to play it, that's your choice, I just don't want it to be forgotten again.
I will check yours out late tonight or tomorrow morning
I'm only ladylike when compared to my sister.
ArcID 156389
Arc Title: Kiss Hello Goodbye
Author: @Kitsune9tails
Length: Long 5 mishes (but the maps are well chosen and not extravagantly large)
Synopsis: A film noir/harboiled pulp fiction story arc. Warning! This arc hijacks your character's inner monologue for the feel of the story. An optional Elite Boss in each mission. "A beautiful dame. A missing Child. The dark underbelly of Paragon City. Hot passion... and ice cold revenge!" [SFMA]
This was a fun arc; another well crafted arc that's not your usual fare. Gals running the mish may be put off; it's definitely going for the Sam Spade style. Overall the arc pulls off the tone very well with a nice choice of maps and great dialog. And, Superadine was spelled correctly! Most folks don't.
Mish1: great initial mission to set the style of the arc. It was a small map, but it pulled you right in.
Mish2: lol like the NPC taunt text. The crate nav text could be a little more enlightening... as it is, it just has the item name there. Security Chief description text flows a little oddly. maybe not have "now" in the same sentence twice? maybe change the girls to rescue from "Kidnapee" to "Kidnapped girl"? The mish return text has an extra space after $name and the period (sentence is "I thought you were a professional $name ." <-- extra space here.
Mish3: Typo in Old fossil rescue text: "[NPC] Old Fossil: Thanks, kid, I owe ya one. But on't worry about me. I'll draw their attention; you find the girl." Gorilla G text seems a bit out of character for Film Noir here... "humpity bumpity?" "mosh pit?" The custom group is well balanced. Ligeia description text is a little rough: "She was a mutant or something that uncontrollably emitted a chemical that made her able to influence the minds around her." <-- try not to dupe words in the same sentence; could split it in two or rewrite... Love the Blender clue... however there is a typo there... should be "weird" not "wierd".
Mish4: nice setup. Should try to make it so we encounter the blender before the body. Lack of mish exit text seemed to break the style I got used to on the first 3 mishes.
Mish5: Oddly... Goon didn't target anyone before triggering his percep text: "[NPC] Gorilla G Goon: Hey, $name , let's skip to the chase, and I can just add you to my list of kicked butts right now, okay?" Not much can be done about it (and I'm not dinging because of it), just found it interesting; Typo in Dame Fatale clue "beleive" should be "believe". Again, there was no mish text on exit... Mish return success text has typo "erasiong" should be "erasing". It also says that I'm keeing the locket to remember Ligeia, but there's no locket souviner... I found myself looking forward to having that little trinket and the story it would contain.
I had loads of fun on this one and the author took the story in a slightly different direction that our team figured it was going so that was well done. Despite the above, I rated this a 5.
Janrith
Triumph Heroes:
=============
Saunik: lvl 50 Mutant Sonic/Electric Blaster
Photaun: lvl 50 Peacebringer
Taukezo Kensei: lvl 50 Natural Willpower/Dual Blades Tank
Published Arcs:
7326 Avenging the Dead
135096 Superhero Downtime
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hey guys, don't want to be pushy, but it looks like my arc's been skipped twice now (my most recent post was a repost with a rating for a different arc) so i would appreciate it if someone could give it a try. That being said, if you don't want to play it, that's your choice, I just don't want it to be forgotten again.
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Just tried to run this and it won't let me start. It is doing that "Let's me click play, then click accept, but doesn't turn the holo-guy into the contact and it won't start" thing. Do you have a map in there that they took out recently?
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hey guys, don't want to be pushy, but it looks like my arc's been skipped twice now (my most recent post was a repost with a rating for a different arc) so i would appreciate it if someone could give it a try. That being said, if you don't want to play it, that's your choice, I just don't want it to be forgotten again.
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Just tried to run this and it won't let me start. It is doing that "Let's me click play, then click accept, but doesn't turn the holo-guy into the contact and it won't start" thing. Do you have a map in there that they took out recently?
[/ QUOTE ] don't think so, but i'll check
edit: the map was indeed a problem and has been fixed
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Arc Name: Destined Champion of the Multiverse
Arc ID: 128476
Faction: Custom Group
Creator Global/Forum Name: @Purple Badger
Difficulty Level: Moderate?
Synopsis: Your character has been chosen to protect the multiverse. You travel through various dimensions tracking down threats to the peace of all dimensions.
Estimated Time to Play: 2 hours?
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This was a good arc, I give it 5 stars! Interesting story.
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Here is my arc:
Mission name: Welcome to Paragon PC
ARC ID: 174401
Morality: Heroic
Length: Very Long(5 missions)
Enemy Groups: Council, Freakshow, Nemesis Automatons, Crey and Arachnos.
Description: Want to build the Pinnacle of PCs? We can Help! Talk to an associate today!
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I'm afraid there's not much story to it, but I made it to have fun. Easily soloable. Let me know what you think! 
Thanks a lot! I'm glad you and your team had fun running the arc!
I will address those typoes as soon as I can; I'm currently wrestling with an issue where it won't let me republish while I have 3 arcs published. I can edit fine, but I would hve to unpublish an arc to be able to republish this one.
And those 'i before e' things always strike me as wired
Story Arcs I created:
Every Rose: (#17702) Villainous vs Legacy Chain. Forget Arachnos, join the CoT!
Cosplay Madness!: (#3643) Neutral vs Custom Foes. Heroes at a pop culture convention!
Kiss Hello Goodbye: (#156389) Heroic vs Custom Foes. Film Noir/Hardboiled detective adventure!
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hey guys, don't want to be pushy, but it looks like my arc's been skipped twice now (my most recent post was a repost with a rating for a different arc) so i would appreciate it if someone could give it a try. That being said, if you don't want to play it, that's your choice, I just don't want it to be forgotten again.
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Welcome to the club... I think my arc is a couple dozen pages back by now.
131430 Starfare: First Contact
178774 Tales of Croatoa: A Rose By Any Other Name ( 2009 MA Best In-Canon Arc ) ( 2009 Player Awards - Best Serious Arc )
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This was a good arc, I give it 5 stars! Interesting story.
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Here is my arc:
Mission name: Welcome to Paragon PC
ARC ID: 174401
Morality: Heroic
Length: Very Long(5 missions)
Enemy Groups: Council, Freakshow, Nemesis Automatons, Crey and Arachnos.
Description: Want to build the Pinnacle of PCs? We can Help! Talk to an associate today!
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I'm afraid there's not much story to it, but I made it to have fun. Easily soloable. Let me know what you think!
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Okay, playing it now so apparantly I'm out to build the ultimate gaming rig (it'd be nice seeing as I'm playing on a laptop that can barely handle this game)... So off to get a 10 TB Hard Drive. There's really no exposition explaining that I'm going to go steal it from the council which would be nice... even just a pop up on entry, "you arrive at a council base, they've always got the best computer stuff" or something...
Anyway I see that freaks are also attacking trying to get the hard drive... I stealth grab the hard drive and search for the base leader...
So I find the base leader, who's actually named Base Leader (real creativity there)... as he's playing on his laptop and take him out.
In the second mission I need to grab...
1: Intel i8 Premium Motherboard
2: 16 GB of DDR4 Memory
3: Intel Octo Core 4.2GHz CPU
I dunno if we get up to having 8 cores in a CPU 4.2 GHz seems a little smal for the processing power.
Anyway this time I'm warned in advance that it's gonna be freakshow, so off I am to steal more gaming components for great justice.
Apparantly the memory comes in 4 GB boards so there's quite a few clickies here and this time the boss has an actual name.
[NPC] L33T L00T: I'm L33T! And I've go L00T! Get it? Get it?
If he was really 1337 he'd use the 1 and the 7 ;p But he makes lame jokes so I guess he's not anyway.
So once again it's a stealth grab for me.
Next mission I'm going after the video card and someone is being held hostage... this is kinda odd for me I know the arc s marked as heroic but I'm stealing just to make an awesome rig (yes from bad guys but...), I dunno rescuing a bystander just feels a bit out of place.
There was an ambush that triggered on the last box but I didn't feel like fighting them so I exited.
Now we're stealing a prototype Crey product... wow considering Crey Corp is one of the makers of AE you think they wouldn't like that... also now we're stealing from a legit company which happens to be run by a crime lord... feeling even less heroic.
Protector 1138, that's not a joke on THX-1138 is it?
WOW.... Longbow is willing to lend a submarine just to take me to the Rogue Isles to steal a power supply?
And yay for invading soverign nations to steal stuff! I feel super heroic now.
Edit: Review for last mission added
So, Arachnos expected me and put up a forcefield when I entered the base, I'd expect some of the spawns to have something to say but they were too busy with some running inventory gag.
Still over all, pretty fun liked the Contacts outfit with the i/o symbol on her chest... and the final joke about having to pay for all my stolen components.
But yeah, mission feels more neutral, the hostage rescue feels out of place, and the arachnos soldiers should either know I'm there or not.
I give it a 4/5, very good.
Anyway, my arc is...
Arc Name:[/color] The Praetorian Invasion of the Land of Oz
Arc ID: 168841
Faction: Praetorians/Custom Group
Creator Global/Forum Name: @Sakura-Kishi
Difficulty Level: 3-4 out of 5 *each mission has at least one AV Mission 4 has 3. Missions 2 and 4 each have two Helper NPCs
Level: 50-54
Synopsis: Ozma from the magical Land of Oz has come seeking help, there was a recent attempt to kidnap Princess Dorothy(in my Last Story Arc that needs updating) and now she is trying to learn what that plot was a smoke screen for... This adventure will take you into the events of the second Oz book via time travel and pit you against Several Praetorian AVs and a couple new faces as you have to stop Tyrant's total conquest of Oz.
Estimated Time to Play: 1-2 hours
Last Note: This mission was designed for me to roleplay on Virtue but is written for everyone to enjoy.
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Arc Name: Destined Champion of the Multiverse
Arc ID: 128476
Faction: Custom Group
Creator Global/Forum Name: @Purple Badger
Difficulty Level: Moderate?
Synopsis: Your character has been chosen to protect the multiverse. You travel through various dimensions tracking down threats to the peace of all dimensions.
Estimated Time to Play: 2 hours?
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This was a good arc, I give it 5 stars! Interesting story.
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Thanks for checking the arc out, and I'm glad you enjoyed it! Anything you saw that could be improved, or was there really nothing that stood out as needing improvement?
Okay, here goes:
***
Mission:
"Legendary Clones"
Arc ID: 137281
Length: Very Long
Missions: 4
Genre: Fantasy
Description: Dr. Aeon and his Arachnos goons have cloned the Legendary Figures of the Western world, threatening reality itself! Can you defeat these clones and protect our very existence?
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Please give a try and let me know what you think, because your feedback is most welcome.
Thank you!
-Em
aka
Emerald Isle Fury, Protector Server
The Emerald Guard
*Looking to Play a Unique MArc?*[/i]
Try "Legendary Clones-137281" Player Levels: 5-50
Looking for some feedback on my first story: #190909.
Guys, the point of this thread is that you review someone else's arc first, and then ask someone to review your arc.
Avatar: "Cheeky Jack O Lantern" by dimarie
Oops. Sorry about that. I will review another person's, then. Hopefully either tonight or tomorrow.
EmeraldIsleFury, I played your arc and quite liked it. Unfortunately, I was unable to finish the fourth mission (my keyboard for some reason wouldn't let me use my number hot keys), but I will give you my impressions of the first three.
Things I liked:
Challenging. The first mission seemed straightforward, but there were enough surprise enemies to keep me on my toes. I was able to solo it, but it was difficult.
The second and third missions were diabolical :0). I liked the reveal of who the "Legendary Figures" were, and quite liked how you handled each one. I was extremely grateful for the allies you provided for each one.
Also, Countess Meme's name was quite apt for what you were doing.
Things I didn't like:
Not much, really. There was a typo in the first mission (the Wolf Enforcer says, "Their here." It should be "They're here." Also, in Countess Meme's description, the word "even" at the beginning isn't really necessary.
Another thing, you've got Nix' name as "Rescue Nix." Not sure if that was intentional, though.
I personally don't like office missions, as they're a pain in the butt to explore and make sure you've got everything. Especially with surprise Arachnos' on your heels! (That's a personal thing with me, not an indictment of your work).
Overall, I quite liked it, and am giving you 5 stars.
I'd appreciate it if someone would review my story arc (#190909) It's called the Rise and Fall of the Skullettes. In the first mission, the hero accidentally kills his opponent during a bank heist (instead of just "defeating" him), and the story follows what happens after that.
I've been receiving some in game comments, so I started a thread for it here: https://boards.cityofheroes.com/showflat...=0#Post13534921
Please play the arc and tell me what you think.
Marc
reviewing Marc_L 's mish atm
On the second Mish and so far I'm having fun, the clue for the end of the first mish made me lol
2nd mish done, I wonder who this Meridith woman is?
3rd mish done, not a big fan of defeat all mishes but it wasnt to hard at least....
4th mish done, an all right mish, noticed a typo after defeating the first skullete and going on to the next she said I'd deafeated Misty...... I'm pretty sure here name wasnt Misty....>_>
5th mish finished, well that was definatly a fun arc, good job
I'll just go get my arc....
Arc Name: A howling Moon
Arc ID: 190258
Faction: Freakshow, Clockwork, circle of thorns and a custom group on the last map
Creator Global/Forum Name: @ lone wonderer
Difficulty Level: medioum-hard maybe.....
Synopsis: Stacy's Father dissapeared many years ago and left her heartbroken. She searched for many years to try and find him but was unable to. But fate had decided this wasnt the way it was supposed to be. Stacy found a lead to where her father might be but she can't search for him alone, will you help Stacy find her long lost father?
Estimated Time to Play: 40mins+, not really sure, might take longer then this.
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hey guys, don't want to be pushy, but it looks like my arc's been skipped twice now (my most recent post was a repost with a rating for a different arc) so i would appreciate it if someone could give it a try. That being said, if you don't want to play it, that's your choice, I just don't want it to be forgotten again.
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Welcome to the club... I think my arc is a couple dozen pages back by now.
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I know the feeling. But mine is only 3 or 4 (or 5?) pages back. 
Justice Blues, Tech/Tank, Inv/SS
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Fighting The Future Trilogy
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hey guys, don't want to be pushy, but it looks like my arc's been skipped twice now (my most recent post was a repost with a rating for a different arc) so i would appreciate it if someone could give it a try. That being said, if you don't want to play it, that's your choice, I just don't want it to be forgotten again.
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Welcome to the club... I think my arc is a couple dozen pages back by now.
[/ QUOTE ]
I know the feeling. But mine is only 3 or 4 (or 5?) pages back.
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My next one that could use a look:
Title: Simple Times
ID: 70801
Levels: 4-15
Description: Talshak the Mystic has asked for your help with a minor clean up mission in a warehouse. Happens all the time, no big deal, just giving someone a quick helping hand. At least that was how it started. Sequel to Future Skulls,ID 4727. [SFMA/LBMA]
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I ran this arc, as well as the prelude to it on my L9-10 Peacebringer on Heroic. I'll review them in order.
Future Skulls, arc 4727
Mission 1
Mirror Spirit has contacted you because she had a dream of a ruined future that the Skulls are involved in. She needs you to go and find any info you can at a Skull hideout.
This is a basic look-for-clues-type mission. You fight Bonesnap who comments about killing everyone. You find the info you need in the form of a mystic tome.
Mission 2
The ritual that the Skulls want to perform to destroy the world and rise to power is going to awaken an evil Coralax god. Mirror Spirit sends you and other heroes out to search through Coralax dens for clues.
This mission bugged me for 1 reason. At the end you defeat "The Guardian" only to click the blinky and have it "shatter" as you're searching it do to a protection spell (as revealed by Mirror Spirit as you return after the mission). This essentially says that you fail (not an actual mission fail, just a "you didn't bring anything back to the contact" fail).
Mission 3
Because the heroes haven't been successful in finding info to stop the ritual, Mirror Spirit is going to send you forward in time to find out about it. Hopefully what you find will allow you to stop it from happening in the present.
The idea is good, but a couple of problems occur with the details. First off there are some custom mobs called "Followers", but their presence is not explained. They fight the Skulls in the last room of the mission, but also fight you if you encounter them. Also, more info is needed on "The Bride of Death" (if I'm not remembering that right, please correct me). She's there at the end... you have to defeat her, but she feels too throw-away to me. More info about her should be woven into the story, especially since it seems like she's supposed to be a big deal, but I didn't feel that.
When you defeat her, she thanks you for stopping her, and tells you about the ritual in the present.
Mission 4
The Bride of Death gave you a dagger used in the ritual, so when you come back to the present you give it to Mirror Spirit. She and several other mystics cast a scrying spell to find the ritual's location (Salamanca). You need to go and disrupt it. 1 hour timed mission.
This is your basic "stop a couple of sacrifices and defeat the boss" setup. Nice and straightforward for this level range.
Once you get in you find that Bonesnap has been transformed by the ritual. He is a somewhat animalistic looking custom mob now, but not over-powered for this level range. The rest of the map is regular Skulls, and there are 2 mystics to save (siphoning their powers).
- Over all it's not a bad arc, but it is a bit common in that it calls on the old "evil ritual to end the world" convention.
- I'm not a fan of the Skulls for it... I'd have preferred the Hellions, but it's not a deal breaker.
- Some additional writing should be done to add more importance to The Bride, I think. A lot of potential there.
- I'd recommend Changing mission 2 so the hero doesn't feel like failure was forced on them. I see what you were doing... making it so that Mirror Spirit HAD to send the hero into the future for info. It still feels wrong to me. Maybe make it so that what you find in the Coralax cave let's you pinpoint the correct moment in the future to send the hero...
Simple Times, 70801. Followup arc to Future Skulls
Mission 1
Talshak has called you to investigate Igneous activity in King's Row. When you get to the warehouse you fight Igneous that are all talking about "it". Must find it... Have to find it... Can't let "insert hero name here" steal it (which implies that they knew you were coming).
Let me start by saying that I hate fighting Igneous. They run too fast and can really hurt a squishy fast. I was ok with them being outside the Hollows, but didn't like them being in the arc because they bug me. That is not the author's fault.
After defeating all the Igneous, you return to Talshak who says that the Igneous are looking for an artifact to summon an ancient power. He's going to Scry the location of it.
Mission 2
Talshak has tracked the artifact to an Igneous cave, but has also learned that the Hellions are now after the object as well. He asks you to get to the cave and capture it, not letting either of the 2 groups possess it.
You fight your way through Hellions and Igneous to a Magma at the end of the mission. After defeating him you learn that the artifact is not there. Upon returning to Talshak, he's surprised that you didn't find it.
Mission 3
Talshak again scries the artifact's location, and this time it's a Hellion hideout. He sends you off to capture the item before the Hellions can cause any harm with it.
You fight your way through Hellions to find a nmed Damned at the end. After defeating him, you find that the artifact is not there.
I started to get quite frustrated at this point. Chasing a villain around can be ok because the villain can be given a personality and it can seem like they're just "one step ahead of you", toying with you, etc. the implication that I was simply "getting somewhere late" really irked me.
When you return to Talshak, he' starting to reflect your frustration. He doesn't like casting his scrying spell over and over again since it exhausts him.
Mission 4
Talshak scries and finds that warriors are now in possession of the artifact. Sends you to get it.
Guess what happens? yup. It ain't there. Some warriors are threatening another, though, asking him what he did with the artifact.
Back to Talshak. He's getting pissed, too.
Mission 5
Talshak figures out that the reason that you can't find the artifact is because it isn't real. The whole thing has been a ruse to make you chase an item. It has a spell on it that causes it to disappear when someone scries it's location, so you keep chasing your tail, while something else has been going on. And who concocted the ruse? The Future Skulls. Talshak has broken through the spells and now sends you to stop them from making their future come true (remember, you stopped them in the previous arc).
You go to Salamanca and defeat The Bride of Death and Bonesnap. The Bride reveals that they are not the only Future Skulls in the present time.
When you return to Talshak, he tells you that the artifact and the spell on it were tied to you and Mirror Spirit (since you previously defeated them). That's why Talshak was able to break the "chase the thing around" spell. He only got involved because of the Igneous, so it's just good luck that it wasn't Mirror Spirit since she wouldn't have been able to break the spell.
- GREAT ending with a lot of detail and a very well written wrap-up from Talshak
- Tortuous lead up to the great ending. Seriously, I see what you were trying t accomplish, but aggravating the player with a seemingly redundant set of missions is going to have a lot of players bailing on the arc by mission 3 and never getting to the big reveal at the end. I think you should cut-out at least 1, and probably 2 of those "can't seem to get the artifact" missions.
- Give the player more text in the Intro for mission 1 about The Future Skulls arc, so that way if they didn't play it they know that you're picking up from there and that the 2 are related. Something like "Mirror Spirit told me that you would be perfect for this since you helped her out so valiantly with those future Skulls a while back." I know it's in your arc description, but more would definitely help.
- Same goes for the reveal in Mission 5. Do a bit of a recap of the Future Skull arc. Maybe "Mirror Spirit told me a bit about that problem you 2 worked on. If I remember correctly, those were Skulls from an alternate future where they destroyed the world, right?"
- CHEESE-ALERT! When you defeat the Magma in the 2nd mission, it says "My flame is flickering." Really? A giant lava monster poetically says "My flame is flickering."? Pull that text.
Over all a nice idea that gets bogged down in the delivery. I REALLY wanted to quit by mission 3, but stuck it out to do the review. It was a really good payoff, but took too long to get there.
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My latest arc
The Fireside Poet
#189439
Levels 1-14
Heroic
5 missions, but a fast play.
Definitely solo'able, with Skulls as the mobs and 1 custom boss (not EB or AV) at the end of the arc.
Story driven.
What seems to be the case of a routine Skulls break-in, reveals itself as a much deeper tale of sorrow, vengeance, and madness.
Any reviews or feedback will be greatly appreciated.
[ QUOTE ]
I ran this arc, as well as the prelude to it on my L9-10 Peacebringer on Heroic. I'll review them in order.
Future Skulls, arc 4727
- Over all it's not a bad arc, but it is a bit common in that it calls on the old "evil ritual to end the world" convention.
- I'm not a fan of the Skulls for it... I'd have preferred the Hellions, but it's not a deal breaker.
- Some additional writing should be done to add more importance to The Bride, I think. A lot of potential there.
- I'd recommend Changing mission 2 so the hero doesn't feel like failure was forced on them. I see what you were doing... making it so that Mirror Spirit HAD to send the hero into the future for info. It still feels wrong to me. Maybe make it so that what you find in the Coralax cave let's you pinpoint the correct moment in the future to send the hero...
[/ QUOTE ]
Thanks for the review, even if it wasn't necessary. Someone had looked at it earlier in the thread. While the Hellions are definitely into death and destruction, the Skulls actually worship death and are organized around killing others to increase their personal power. A Bone Daddy finding a way to bring death on a mass scale and increasing his power at the same time fit better for me.
Part of the reason for the way the second mission went was to force the 3rd mission. But part of it was also to show that even if you don't fail in what you are trying to do (Which you don't, you succeed in searching for clues. There just weren't any to be found.) things may not come out the way you want them to. Part of being a hero is not letting that stop you when it happens.
The Followers were originally a mystery that was going to be touched on in the second arc, then explored more in the 3rd. You may have noticed they were not in the 2nd arc, because the entire series took off in a different direction from my original plans. They do appear again in the 3rd arc, but not the way I was originally planning, so their mystery will not be revealed yet.
[ QUOTE ]
Simple Times, 70801. Followup arc to Future Skulls
Mission 1
Talshak has called you to investigate Igneous activity in King's Row. When you get to the warehouse you fight Igneous that are all talking about "it". Must find it... Have to find it... Can't let "insert hero name here" steal it (which implies that they knew you were coming).
Let me start by saying that I hate fighting Igneous. They run too fast and can really hurt a squishy fast. I was ok with them being outside the Hollows, but didn't like them being in the arc because they bug me. That is not the author's fault.
After defeating all the Igneous, you return to Talshak who says that the Igneous are looking for an artifact to summon an ancient power. He's going to Scry the location of it.
Mission 2
Talshak has tracked the artifact to an Igneous cave, but has also learned that the Hellions are now after the object as well. He asks you to get to the cave and capture it, not letting either of the 2 groups possess it.
You fight your way through Hellions and Igneous to a Magma at the end of the mission. After defeating him you learn that the artifact is not there. Upon returning to Talshak, he's surprised that you didn't find it.
Mission 3
Talshak again scries the artifact's location, and this time it's a Hellion hideout. He sends you off to capture the item before the Hellions can cause any harm with it.
You fight your way through Hellions to find a nmed Damned at the end. After defeating him, you find that the artifact is not there.
I started to get quite frustrated at this point. Chasing a villain around can be ok because the villain can be given a personality and it can seem like they're just "one step ahead of you", toying with you, etc. the implication that I was simply "getting somewhere late" really irked me.
When you return to Talshak, he' starting to reflect your frustration. He doesn't like casting his scrying spell over and over again since it exhausts him.
Mission 4
Talshak scries and finds that warriors are now in possession of the artifact. Sends you to get it.
Guess what happens? yup. It ain't there. Some warriors are threatening another, though, asking him what he did with the artifact.
Back to Talshak. He's getting pissed, too.
Mission 5
Talshak figures out that the reason that you can't find the artifact is because it isn't real. The whole thing has been a ruse to make you chase an item. It has a spell on it that causes it to disappear when someone scries it's location, so you keep chasing your tail, while something else has been going on. And who concocted the ruse? The Future Skulls. Talshak has broken through the spells and now sends you to stop them from making their future come true (remember, you stopped them in the previous arc).
You go to Salamanca and defeat The Bride of Death and Bonesnap. The Bride reveals that they are not the only Future Skulls in the present time.
When you return to Talshak, he tells you that the artifact and the spell on it were tied to you and Mirror Spirit (since you previously defeated them). That's why Talshak was able to break the "chase the thing around" spell. He only got involved because of the Igneous, so it's just good luck that it wasn't Mirror Spirit since she wouldn't have been able to break the spell.
- GREAT ending with a lot of detail and a very well written wrap-up from Talshak
- Tortuous lead up to the great ending. Seriously, I see what you were trying t accomplish, but aggravating the player with a seemingly redundant set of missions is going to have a lot of players bailing on the arc by mission 3 and never getting to the big reveal at the end. I think you should cut-out at least 1, and probably 2 of those "can't seem to get the artifact" missions.
- Give the player more text in the Intro for mission 1 about The Future Skulls arc, so that way if they didn't play it they know that you're picking up from there and that the 2 are related. Something like "Mirror Spirit told me that you would be perfect for this since you helped her out so valiantly with those future Skulls a while back." I know it's in your arc description, but more would definitely help.
- Same goes for the reveal in Mission 5. Do a bit of a recap of the Future Skull arc. Maybe "Mirror Spirit told me a bit about that problem you 2 worked on. If I remember correctly, those were Skulls from an alternate future where they destroyed the world, right?"
- CHEESE-ALERT! When you defeat the Magma in the 2nd mission, it says "My flame is flickering." Really? A giant lava monster poetically says "My flame is flickering."? Pull that text.
Over all a nice idea that gets bogged down in the delivery. I REALLY wanted to quit by mission 3, but stuck it out to do the review. It was a really good payoff, but took too long to get there.
[/ QUOTE ]
I understand about the possible frustrations with the ever disappearing MacGuffin. That is one of the things I was wondering about for the arc. Although I have had quite a few ratings for the arc and you are only the second person to mention it, I don't want to aggravate people too much. Cutting out 1 of the missions may work, combining the Hellions and Warriors. But I don't think only one would work.
Glad you liked the final write up. Limited space is irritating, but it means you really need to edit things down to the necessities. 
And yes, the Magma Lord was cheesy. But it is a super hero game. And I like my cheese.
Thanks again for the detailed look at both arcs.
Justice Blues, Tech/Tank, Inv/SS
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Fighting The Future Trilogy
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[ QUOTE ]
Thanks for the review, even if it wasn't necessary. Someone had looked at it earlier in the thread.
[/ QUOTE ]
My bad, I thought that was what your "I know what you mean but my arc is only 3-4 pages back" comment was about.
Oh well, I got 1.5 levels and tickets that lead to a random roll yielding a L10 knockback protection IO, out of it
Looks like you copied the other person's arc ID, rather than your own. I did find it by searching for your name (it's 149474 btw). I'm giving it a spin right now.