yeah, i'm just tapped for stories, unless Jenkins starts getting his [censored] handed to him by pedestrians. but not even Jenkins is that pathetic.
Goodbye, I guess.
@Lord_Nightblade in Champions/Star Trek Online
nightblade7295@gmail.com if you want to stay in touch
Hey, if those pedestrians can push villains out of the way without being scared, you know they're way too scary to mess with, I wouldn't want to meet one in a dark alley.
Also, which dev doesn't think Jenkins is funny? I'm pretty sure Posi said he liked him back in beta, so it wouldn't be him. Who was it? Was it Castle? Statesman? Geko? Poz? Pohsyb? Mapolis (just got his redname)? War Witch? Ravenstorm? Arctic Sun? Cuppajo? Weirdbeard? Supermartin (I think he got his redname)? Manticore? Weaver One (haven't seen him in a while, though, not since beta)? I'm dyin' of curiosity here!
[B]The Once and Future Official Minister of Awesome[/B]
[I]And don't you forget it.[/I]
[URL="http://paragonunleashed.proboards.com/index.cgi"][IMG]http://gamefacelive.com/bre/joker.png[/IMG][/URL]
well i havent had a good ideas lately but i will try to think of something sooner or later. as for who hates, i am pretty sure its not Arctic, i thought he said he liked it or maybe that was Mako.
I remember now, it was Mako who posted how much he liked it, and clarified that Jenkins from the tutorial was made independently from ours, not Posi. But I still doubt Posi would dis the Jenkins, because he rocks and is my favorite.
[B]The Once and Future Official Minister of Awesome[/B]
[I]And don't you forget it.[/I]
[URL="http://paragonunleashed.proboards.com/index.cgi"][IMG]http://gamefacelive.com/bre/joker.png[/IMG][/URL]
Well, I suppose I should at least give the J man a decent ending.
(a graveyard, a funeral, the pallbearers seem to be from every villain group, and then some)
Priest: We're here to mourn the passing of Jeremy Jenkins, taken from us by some injury. He had so many, we couldn't really figure out which one killed him.
Charles Jenkins: He was a no-good punk, but he was my son. (starts weeping)
Kraken: BLAAAAAARGH!! (sob)
Nosferatu: Poor Agent Fluffykins.
Hercules Titan: WAAAAH! Now we'll never combine!
Gunslinger: I remember when I put that time bomb in his Cheetos. I wonder if it ever went off (a muffled explosion from the coffin was the reply).
Madness Mage: He had the best damn chanting voice I've ever heard!
Tsoo A.K.A. Steve: I still have the original copy of his finger. I know he regrew it, but still, it's something to remember him by.
Dominatrix: He was a fun toy....
Odysseus: I've kept his sword, Mr. Hurty was the n-name of m-my f-first... first sword, too! (starts crying)
Arachnos Soldier: I'm sorry I made you take the bomb into the prison! Wait, that didn't kill you, never mind.
Priest: Wow, this guy was a freak. I knew this was gonna be weird when I was told he was found with panties on, but DAMN. Well, time to bury this corpse.
(corpse is lowered into the ground and buried)
Jenkins: Wow, took a while for that Vahzilok regeneration to kick in, I hope they didn't... bury me alive. And why do I smell like burning Cheetos? Well this is just great. Now I get to claw my way out.
Skull-faced guy (also in the coffin): So, have you found the pickles yet, Simmons?
Jenkins: Oh... BLOOOODY HEEEEELLLL!!
THE END
[B]The Once and Future Official Minister of Awesome[/B]
[I]And don't you forget it.[/I]
[URL="http://paragonunleashed.proboards.com/index.cgi"][IMG]http://gamefacelive.com/bre/joker.png[/IMG][/URL]
no, it cant end this way.
Not to split hairs - its a very fun possible ending - but remember his dad is Chris Jenkins, not Charles
DAMN! I knew I'd mess up the dad's name. Haven't seen an ad for him since I stopped playing CoH in favor of CoV.
[B]The Once and Future Official Minister of Awesome[/B]
[I]And don't you forget it.[/I]
[URL="http://paragonunleashed.proboards.com/index.cgi"][IMG]http://gamefacelive.com/bre/joker.png[/IMG][/URL]
Well, maybe one more thing:
(gray afternoon, overcast, a large robot that appears to be contructed around a DVD player approaches a grave, and drops some flowers)
Jenkinite robot: Good-bye, father (sniff).
(the robot walks away)
Jenkins (muffled): Wait, did that robot I sorta made visit me? Come back! Come back! I'm stuck in here with a lunatic! Help!
Skull-face guy: You know what, Robin, I'm just going to buy the pickles myself. Try not to grab hold of me, lest you be dragged into my teleportation portal with me.
Jenkins: Wait, no! Let me grab hold of you! Wait, he's gone. Oh, bloody hell. Well, better start clawing while I still have my sanity. Luckily I can live without oxygen. I don't even KNOW where I got that. Wait, lemme try something.
(five seconds later)
Jenkins: Well, managed to last a hole to the surface, but the coffin was wooden. These burns are gonna take hours to heal. I need to get out of here before someone ELSE pronounces me dead and buries me alive.
(he walks off into the sunset)
The real end, but it leaves it open so if people really want to bring him back, they can.
Bloody hell to you all, and to all bloody hell. 
[B]The Once and Future Official Minister of Awesome[/B]
[I]And don't you forget it.[/I]
[URL="http://paragonunleashed.proboards.com/index.cgi"][IMG]http://gamefacelive.com/bre/joker.png[/IMG][/URL]
BAH! Jenkins cannot help but die. Death is part of what makes him the Jenkins. As long as there are heroes and villains who have encountered Jenkins there will continue to be Jenkins sightings similar to the Elvis sightings except it really is the Jenkins that is seen.I propose that we continue to list Jenkins sightings. For no matter where you wander in the Isles or through Paragon's neighborhoods, there will be the Jenkins waiting for you. Calling you to fall into his poorly executed traps and less than devious schemes. His status will always be that of a fringe of society,bigfoot type of being. Many will dismiss that he is even real or where he originated, but those of us who have seen the Jenkins we will know he is out there. The Jenkins Conspiracy will outlive us all.
When I saw this topic, the very first thought that came to me was "LeRoyyyyy Jennnkinnnns!!!!!", a tanker friend of mine sometimes yelled that when we were ready for a HUGE fight .
The Jenkins is everywhere.Where will the Jenkins pop up next?
H-hello? Is anyone home?
They'r all gone... *starts searching for Jenkins*
I saw Jenkins in a hero costume today lvl 48 scrapper trying to figure out why they sucked so bad died almost ten times in an AV mish
JENKINS HAS BEEN KIDNAPPED!
You see? His grave has been blasted open and it's empty (except for a curiously large number of pickles). Put up the "Have you seen this villain" posters! Get his photo on milk cartons! We must locate our "beloved" punching bag!
At keep those pickles for the sandwiches served to the search parties.
We had sightings of both Jenkins and Hopkins lastnight on the Manticore TF. Stay vigilant the Jenkins is out there
Here's an excerpt from the Jenkins Files. I originally wrote it for a thread on the Mek Man bug, and now add it here to consolidate our records of Jenkins' career(s). (And also to help protect the thread from Lighthouse's upcoming purge until we can get it archived.)
Jenkins Meets the Mek Man
Jenkins stared glumly around the office.
How did I wind up working for a temp agency? All those jobs, all that schmoozing with powerful villains...and here I am, waiting for someone's secretary to call in sick or something.
A steady beeping noise from the next desk provided a welcome distraction. He'd been a bit surprised to see a robot in one of the cubicles, but apparently the agency took its non-discrimination policy seriously. It didn't quite look like the ones he'd worked with in his brief stint with the Council. The emblem wasn't right. Still there was something familiar about it....
"Excuse me," Jenkins said, "but I have the oddest feeling we've met before. I can't remember where, though."
"*beep* Now that you mention it, you seem familiar as well. Let me run an image match. *beep*"
Jenkins doodled on a sticky pad as a distant expression settled onto the mech's optical sensor plate.
"Ah, now I remember. *beep* You held me prisoner once, when you were working for the Circle. I hardly recognized you without the flaming eyes."
"Yeah, those were murder. You wouldn't believe the Visine bill...wait..." Jenkins trailed off. "I held you prisoner?" he asked, eyeing the mech's slashing claw nervously.
"*beep* Probability exceeds 99.87%. No hard feelings. Everyone has, you know."
"Well, I'm glad you feel that way. What do you mean, 'Everyone has.'?"
"I worked for the Fifth Column, up until their dustup with the Council. I did my bit in the fight for a while, but eventually this *beep* brute of a hero tripped on someone's rifle and fell on me. It didn't hurt, of course, but it wrecked my targeting circuits. That lousy *beep* Burkholder was too busy slapping new emblems on all the other guys to bother fixing me, and I wound up out on the streets. I've been taking temp jobs from the agency to keep my fuel in my power cell ever since."
"So, they're pretty good at finding jobs for you?" That sounded promising.
"Oh, yeah. *beep* Work's been steady--all kinds of interesting positions. I've been a mechanic, a cop...I even had a gig as a stage magician once, but I *beep* sucked at it--no sleeves to hide things in."
"That sounds pretty cool!" Jenkins exclaimed, starting to feel much better about his situation.
"Yeah, it's been *beep* great. Except..."
Uh-oh. "Except what?"
"No matter what *beep* job I take, I wind up getting *beep* kidnapped!" the mech groaned.
Danger! Danger! "Every job?"
"It never *beep* fails. I've been kidnapped by Circle magicians. I've been held prisoner while working as a *beep* Circle magician. I've been menaced by *beep* overgrown mushrooms as a paralegal. And the worst of it is, I always wind up getting rescued by a *beep* hero. A hero got me into this mess, and I wind up *beep* thanking one for saving me at least once a week."
" Do you suppose the agency is setting you up?"
"Nah. I think it's just my *beep* rotten luck. Maybe you ought to steer clear of me, before I *beep* jinx you, too," the mech concluded, sounding depressed.
Jinx me? You have no idea. "I don't know. I'm having second thoughts about this..."
The briskly professional voice of his manager interrupted him. "Jenkins? Unit 13?" she said. "I've got a nice job lined up for the two of you. Azuria needs a couple of assistants to help catalogue a bunch of scrolls MAGI just received, and I know both of you listed familiarity with arcane scripts on your resumés."
As the two newly dubbed research assistants headed toward City Hall, Jenkins tried to muster a shred of hope. "This doesn't sound so bad, does it?"
The mech looked at him despairingly. "We're *beep* doomed."
"Oh, bloody hell."
The Way of the Corruptor (Arc ID 49834): Hey villains! Do something for yourself for a change--like twisting the elements to your will. All that's standing in your way are a few secret societies...and Champions of the four elements.
It appears Jenkins has survived the cleansing.Makes one wonder just who is behind this Conspiracy.
Control the media, control the mind.
I ADMIT NOTHING!
"If I had Force powers, vacuum or not my cape/clothes/hair would always be blowing in the Dramatic Wind." - Tenzhi
Characters
ok, so for those of you who were not in beta, the Jenkins Conspiracy started when a poster said he thought we would have to prove ourselves to each villain group leading up to Arachnos. This led to a discussion on how that would work and how would you quit anyway. During the course of our tomfoolery it became Jenkins getting fired. What made it even better is that it was Jenkins you have to rescue in Breakout.
Well, in honor of this conspiracy I will post what I have saved. Keep in mind that I did not copy the poster's name, so I cannot give credit where credit is due. Sorry
enjoy
--------------------
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Muad_Dib
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Reged: 06/15/04
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Re: The Jenkins Conspiracy [Re: Muad_Dib]
#3976341 - 10/30/05 09:57 AM
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I can't think of the last time villains got together and held a meeting to see who the next big Super Villain would be. Can you IMAGINE that meeting?
Skulls Rep: "This 'Psycho Flame' guy. He's up for Villain status, and we're all here to review him today. Who's met this guy? Anyone?"
Hellions Rep: "I met him once. Seemed really mean. Good with lighting people on fire, too. We liked that."
Skulls Rep: "Shut up, you."
CoT Rep: "We had the pleasure of his company for a short while, too. We felt he lacked what it took to be a master of evil mysticism, but he had a nice look. And a great chanting voice."
Skulls Rep: "Hmm.. we'll keep that in consideration. Anyone else?"
Freakshow Rep: "We thought he was going to start out strong- but in the end, he refused to fuse metallic joints to his body, and spent a good deal of time sticking magnets on our faces as we slept."
Clockwork Rep: "Hey! Us, too!"
Skulls Rep: "Not very promising. Anyone have any positive comments? This guy really wants to be a big time villain, and he's waiting patiently for our approval."
Sky Raider Rep: "He's pretty good with a rocket pack. And he had some decent maintenance skills when it came to our shield generators. Plus, he's really a people person. Good personality."
Skulls Rep: "Well, I think I've heard enough. I'll just call Lord Recluse with what we've talked about here, and see if Psycho Flame is worthy of a callback."
This post was me! I can't believe this topic survived the Beta! GO, JENKINS!!
Please play and rate my AE arcs! Just look for @Captain Titan, and you'll find them! Also, whoever made the Penelope Yin splash page needs to be told that spines don't work that way.
Fun! I wrote a few Jenkins stories back during the beta days of COV. Lemme see if I can dig em up and cut and paste em...
DOH!
Actually, if I remember correctly it was all written on the Beta Forums... even before they merged? So I think all the fabulous Jenkin Fic was lost to the ages...
Alas.
I was in on this back in the CoV beta days, and I believe that all the stories were copied and given their own posts on the previous pages of this thread. Scan the pages. Your story should be there somewhere....
For me, it was when one of the Devs explained to me that they do not find Jenkins funny. That's about when I lost interest. My last real foray was This Comic.
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