The you kill me, I kill you...(and so on) thread!
By
Abalest,
Posted on: 2004-06-26 06:41 in Roleplaying
[ QUOTE ]
Einstein's mediocre grammar and spelling takes the form of a hideous monster that eats all his graham crackers. The graham cracker remains reanimate as the undead, and after Fred gets shot to death by a frightened citizien, the rest of them go on strike, asking for more Living Dead Snack rights. Nobody knows what they're going on strike FROM, so nobody notices.
Immortal respawns, and pwnz nubz til they die.
[/ QUOTE ]
Donald McRonald opens up his laptop and sends a virus to Einstein's spellchecker. The virus was unable to do anything, as the spellchecker was already dead. Donald screams in frustration and throws the laptop across the room, into a vat of french fry grease. The computer dies. Donald slips on a small puddle of grease made by the splashing and sputtering computer and breaks his neck.
Donald respawns with his resturaunt next to the Wahco Tahco. Getting a sudden idea, he borrows a vat of refried beans, makes a Dan Quayle Potatoe Cannon(c), and starts launching boiling globs of beans at Immortal. Immortal, hearing the "thud" and "splat" of a few misses, faces into a scalding volley as it catches him square in the forehead, disfiguring him from the nose up.
"Must finish him!!!", shouts Donald as he stuffs the launcher with a new load of beans and a double charge of propellant. As he sparks the ignitor, the propellant splits the potatoe cannon open bleching flame in Donald's face. Donald drowns on his own bodily fluids as blisters form in his lungs from the accidental inhalation of fire.
Immortal pwnz mor nubz.
Sum1 diez.
Einstien gives this thread a heart attack and it dies. Hey guys this thread is getting old I am starting it fresh in the Kill Thread 3.0 be there or die from lameness!
[ QUOTE ]
Einstien gives this thread a heart attack and it dies. Hey guys this thread is getting old I am starting it fresh in the Kill Thread 3.0 be there or die from lameness!
[/ QUOTE ]
Off Topic:
And what exactly do you think is going to happen to the third incarnation of it?
It's also going to die of lameness. Faster than this one did.
Let's just keep resurrecting this one, instead of making YAPT (Yet Another Pointless Thread), and wasting bandwidth and server space.
On Topic:
Donald McRonald wakes up in a hospital, strapped to the bed and attached to several machines and an IV. He's helpless, he's vunerable, he's not alone......
Meanwhile, on the room TV, a space-alien spills it's acid blood on a soldier. "GAME OVER MAN!!!" the soldier shouts, dying.
Immortal feels a disturbance in the force, as if a thousand posts suddenly screamed out, and were silenced.
Angered by this injustice, Immortal kicks Einstein in the shins so bad he bleeds and it hurts and stuff. Many skin cells were killed.
Ultradude, longing for the mass murder of the early posts of this thread, builds an atomic mallet the size of Wisconsin, and smashes everyone. He then trips, falls, and gets smashed by his own mallet. He respawns and kills the mallet, and the decides a good old-fashioned machine gun-based killing spree is in order, so he pulls one out of his pocket and shoots anyone he sees. Then, he gets gunned down in the street and Sonny has to take over the family, but gets killed at a toll booth, so Michael has to take over. I kill Ultradude for creating a crappy segue into a crappy reference to "The Godfather." Then I give a formal apology to the readers, as I kill Ultradude again.
[B]The Once and Future Official Minister of Awesome[/B]
[I]And don't you forget it.[/I]
[URL="http://paragonunleashed.proboards.com/index.cgi"][IMG]http://gamefacelive.com/bre/joker.png[/IMG][/URL]
Jabba the Hutt eats Manofmanychars.
[ QUOTE ]
Jabba the Hutt eats Manofmanychars.
[/ QUOTE ]
Immortal walks into a bar.
...He contracts tetanus and dies. The bartender says, what is this, s OH GOD, HE'S DEAD!
Meanwhile, a giant meccha beaver stomps on Paragon City.
/em walks inot the forum...looks around...squints eyes...
OKie....
/em Fulcrum shifts all the posters....
Ya'll dead now...
Dragon kills and eats Voyager for not killing anyone in his post.
Ceres kills Immortal, for old times sake.
((hmm why not))
Flying over Atlas park in his cargo plane Crimson Twilite sees yet another flock of people begging to win a costume contest. Looking back at his cargo of glass jars containing a couple thousand gallons of hydrochloric acid, he smiles malevolently. Forcing the plane into a dive he close the distance while the rear door opens. At the proper time, he pulls the plane straight up dumping the cargo. Everyone in front of the building is shredded by glass and burned alive by the flood of corrosive chemicals.
A small needle falls from her wrinkled hand. "Is that him?" She wonders about the uniformed man striding over the freshly cut lawn; she wonders about the life he lived, the horrors he witnessed. War is a terrible thing. Looking down at her work, she fingers the needlework, each stich so satisfying, each line expertly sewn. It is only then that she realizes she's made a quilt out of the flesh of BainofWar. She is quite bloody and for some reason, he is speckled with patches of sea scenes. One of the dolphins seems to be laughing. She starts to laugh too, but stops realizing company is at the door. Opening it, she is shocked to see I-trick, the sexy mail-man in this weird world. He says:
"Lay off the crack would you... "
I mean it...
[ QUOTE ]
Ceres kills Immortal, for old times sake.
[/ QUOTE ]
Immortal respawns, and cries with joy at the reappearance of his old friend as he fills his body with hot lead.
The Pink Valkyrie is sent to this courious world on her master behalf after listening to a dozen half-baked reasons why the mighty Godling must remain in bed this day, she stumbles upon the Immortal and wonders at the effect that super radiated chocalate pudding might have on Immortals recently exposed brain. Thus wondering what the resulting green goo may be used for.
The Legendary Cosmological Prince Reigar 53rd Illusion Control/Storm Summoning/Primal Forces Mastery/Incarnate
It's a dark and story night. That means something bad is happening out there
Drake Magnus walks up behind Pink Valkyrie and strangles it with a piano wire and quickly flees the thread to avoid retribution.
Soulll Trainn notes that Drake has his back to her, so she activates Repel and Hover, and proceeds to juggle him several miles in the air like a dolphin juggles a beachball. She then nails his ears with an Air Superiority strike and watches him freefall back down.
SPLAT! - Drake Magnus CRATERED. -
Oh dear, he has one hit point left. She deactivates Hover, plummets down to within 10 feet, hovers again, and flicks his forehead with her finger. "Buh-bye."
"City of Heroes. April 27, 2004 - August 31, 2012. Obliterated not with a weapon of mass destruction, not by an all-powerful supervillain... but by a cold-hearted and cowardly corporate suck-up."
Trak races in out of nowhere, throws a tesla cage at Soulll Trainn, holding her in place. He then proceeds to drain her endurance with transference, pummel her with flurry and thunder strike, all the while a little voltaic sentinel is chiming in his own opinions of the new victim. The amazing accuracy retains the cage of torture until Soulll Trainn dies at the chorus attack of the sentinel and Trak's deadly lightning blast. He knows he will die, but Trak still instinctively charges his body.
Summer Heat
Doc mayhem watches from the shadows as Trak dispatches the statuesque black woman. Pity, she was definitely better looking. Hrm... now the problem is, how to take out an electrical without getting electrocuted oneself?
Ah yes... those will do nicely.
After a few moments of preparation, Doc sneaks up behind Trak, then twirls the edge of his katana sword around Trak's neck, opening both carotids and allowing Trak's lifeblood to gush out of his body.
Meanwhile Trak's built-up electrical charge nearly vaporizes the insulation on ten extension cords that each had one end stripped and then wrapped around the pommel of the sword..... with their other bare ends twenty feet away, looped around a metal drainpipe descending into the ground.
Doc stepped back as Trak's body fell limp to the ground. He then bowed to the departed spirit, and smiled inwardly.
"Youth and exuberance are no match for age and trickery...."
"City of Heroes. April 27, 2004 - August 31, 2012. Obliterated not with a weapon of mass destruction, not by an all-powerful supervillain... but by a cold-hearted and cowardly corporate suck-up."
A dark figure drops from the ceiling, jet black hair trailing above him, his landing silent and graceful. Almost instinctively, he spins on his heels, unholsters his pistol, and shoots the gun at head's height. Doc Mayhem, who had been standing idle a few yards away, falls lifelessly to the thread's blood-bathed floor. The dark figure turns once more, and surveys the area. He knows there are more. And he will find them.
Immortal has returned.
Suddenly, a rogue steam roller crashes through the ceiling and lands on Immortal's ear. Unfortunately, Immortal keeps his ear on his skull, which is crushed as well.
An innocent pedestrian, watching a havok and laughing his head off, finally desides to leave before someone drops a steamroller on him. Walking away, he tosses with cigarette behind him. Unfortunatly, the fall had cracked the gas tank, and the burning cigarette lands in the trail of gas leaking out of the tank.
BLAM!
The roller explodes in a massive fireball, spraying shrapnel everywhere.
Righter uses dark magic rituals to rez the thread.
Several people are used as sacrifices.
Somewhere, Immortal's head explodes.
The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants. It is its natural manure. --- Thomas Jefferson
Formerly known as YFNDBA
My Avatar jumps into thread, doing his usual insanity and laughing his head off. He then proceed to 'dance like a chicken!' This causes the Universe to implode on itself for no reason whatsoever.
And as a Universe dies.... a New Universe is >>WRRRARAAACCCCCHHHH!!!<<
"Hold it right there, you guys didn't even wait for the Marvel settlement to dry and you're violating MORE of our IP!! You are hereby served witha cease and desist order blah blah blah, blabla blah.. blalalablala! Good day!"
The thread, so recently resurrected, dies horribly from acute lawyer exposure.
"City of Heroes. April 27, 2004 - August 31, 2012. Obliterated not with a weapon of mass destruction, not by an all-powerful supervillain... but by a cold-hearted and cowardly corporate suck-up."
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Immortal respawns.
His head blows up.
[/ QUOTE ]
Eisnstien kills himself becous all of the latest kills are so un-origional. Einstien wants to make a new kill thread but is afraid of plagarism.
[/ QUOTE ]
Einstein's mediocre grammar and spelling takes the form of a hideous monster that eats all his graham crackers. The graham cracker remains reanimate as the undead, and after Fred gets shot to death by a frightened citizien, the rest of them go on strike, asking for more Living Dead Snack rights. Nobody knows what they're going on strike FROM, so nobody notices.
Immortal respawns, and pwnz nubz til they die.