The you kill me, I kill you...(and so on) thread!

Just as he finishes saying so, Black Violet leaps in from out of nowhere performing a full upward slice, opening Experiment 2.0 from navel to nose.

As Experiment's innards fall onto the ground, shortly followed by what remains of the rest of him, Black Violet snarls...

"Long live the king!"

Raging Cow and Tech Kwon Do reappear at the hospital. "Darn! We've gotta seize control of that big kill thread gun thingy that blows everything to itzy bitzy pieces!" The unpleasant 1.12 mi. jog is not so unpleasant, for our heroes are scheming of all the ways possible to take over the turret. When we finally reach the tower, Black Violet comes again out of nowhere and leaps on Tech Kwon Do and begins slashing ferociously. "You go on, Cow! Get to the tower!!" The crazed cow charges the sentry gun and is about to get to the first step when he is intercepted by Shadowmantle. "We meet again, cow." "We do indeed. You defeated me before, but it shall not happen again." "We shall see!" Shadowmantle leaps into position and the cow whips out a blazing sword and screams "MOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" They have an incredible fight and Shadowmantle battles him up the steps of the sentry tower. Shadowmantle smites Raging Cow with dark might and the cow starts to fall off the top step when Tech Kwon Do flies through the air and his flying kick knocks Shadowmantle off the edge. Tech, unable to save himself, shoves Raging Cow through the door to save him. "Good luck, Cow!" The sentry gun is just across the room. The cow, nearly dead, struggles over to the gun. "Let this nonsense end!!!!!!" The cow plants his firesword in the gun, destroying it and himself. It creates such a big explosion that the entire tower falls over and crumbles into debris...

After the 1.12 mi walk, experiment walks to an empty space... then.... "Super Reflex's taking over....!" and he dodges out of the way as the tower falls. "Hey! I achieved Super Sense! yay!" then, as shadowmantle comes near him, he sense's danger, and jumps to dodge a Skull that had come behind him, and it struck shadow mantle, straight off a cliff, as he heard the last scream, he could swear he saw Tech Wan Do, and he pulls out a sword-looking-spine. and attacks him, when Tech takes out nunchucks and battles him to the death.

Tech and the Cow reappear at the hospital. "Grr! Hey, since when do I fight with nunchucks? That MUST be why I lost. I've only used those things once." The two go back to the thread and see a glimpse of Experiment 2.0 in the shadows. "Cmon!" The two charge him and he leaps through the air over both of their heads and with lightning speed slays Raging Cow. Tech Kwon Do pounds Experiment 2.0 but then gets impaled in the leg by one of Experiment's spines. Just then Shadowmantle shows up and smacks Tech again. Black Violet comes twirling through the air and kicks Experiment 2.0, disorienting him. "EVERYBODY FREEZE!" screams Tech. "Whos side is everybody on?!" "Who said we're fighting alongside eachother? We just wanna kill something!" Shadowmantle casts siphon life on Tech and he falls to his knees, all his power being drained away. "Wait! I wanna kill him!" cries Black Violet. She slashes Shadowmantle, breaking his siphon life draining and knocking him backwards. "No ME! I WANNA KILL HIM!" shouts Experiment 2.0, slaying Black Violet with a large spine. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!" screams Tech Kwon Do as he runs away, waving his arms wildly. He crashes through a building, killing himself. Just then, Raging Cow comes into the thread. "Hey guys. Anything I miss?" Then he sees Shadowmantle howling and rolling around on the ground, Experiment 2.0 with a crazed smirk on his face and Black Violets body laying there. "Guess so."

After missing his kill, Experiment looks like he is in pain. "You alright?" asked Shadowmantle. "yeah....but...watch....this!" and he comes up as spines potrude, click in place, and before anyone can respond, sends spikes flying into everyone killing tham, and laughs with an evil laugh.

Immortal uses his Robe of Fireblast +3 to torch everyone in the thread. They become fried, delicious, and dead.

Baron Blood walked ou tof hte hospital seeing scorcheed bodies all around. He walked up to one and sat down. "MMHMM bar-b-qued hero my favorite." As he took a bite into one he was shot in the head.

The second person to post below me will have a large rainbow colored afro glued to their head. It will remain uncuttable for three weeks.

Oh yeah. *a 1 gram weight falls on his head and he dies*

@Kyuu

Immortal reloads his sniper rifle after getting a perfect head shot on Baron Blood. He then scans the skies. High above him is some anonymous hero flying about. A man next to Immortal says,
"I bet you can't shoot him through the eye."
Immortal smirks.
"Left or right?"
There is a tell-tale bang that rings through the vastness of the thread. It, of course, goes without saying...

...that at that moment someone somewhere on the earth had to have died, due to statistics alone.

The old Haitian woman waits quietly, while SoulStrike ponders the cards she's laid down.

"So I'm stuck with this thing for three weeks??"

She nods.

"And nothing, NOTHING will cut it? Not even that vacuum-home-haircare thing from Ronco?"

She points to the Nine of Cups. "That be the card representin' what's in your future. If you be gettin the Nine of Clippers you might have a chance, but cups dey not cuttin no Skittle-Fros..."

SoulStrike nods grimly and moves to leave the shop. "One last thing...can you tell me who did this to me?"

She pauses, considering. Then she points two posts up.

Driven to blind rage by the prospect of a Bad Hair Month, SoulStrike hunts down Racer53 and drowns him in a bathtub of L'Oreal. Why?

Because it was worth it.

Immortal breaks the fourth wall, and it falls on SoulStrike, snapping his neck and killing him.

Skybert walks in, see Immortal killing Soulstrike.

"This is my chance!" thinks Skybert as he chucks a thermonuclear at Immortal. 2 seconds before blast, Skybert teleports to a safe distance and watches the bright light, wearing ten pairs of sunglasses.

(I'm not breaking any rules here, am I?)

-edit-
anyone surrounding Immortal would have some difficulties surviving as well

"Immortal's back! I have to stop him." The cow sees him being blown up in the distance. "Well, thats one thing outta the way. Good job, person!!" Then Raging Cow, now seperated from Tech Kwon Do, searches for some good deed to do in this town of terror, this home of horror. He sees explosions going off everywhere and buildings falling apart left and right. Then he sees three heroes working as a team, wailing on Immortal113. Cow joins in and they take him down. "Thanks." "No prob. I'm Raging Cow." "I'm Lurt Bangcaster, gun master. These are my friends Capt. Timberwolf and Human Man." "I see. Are you fighting to save this town or to destroy it?" "If we were trying to wreck it you'd be dead by now!" "Okay, good. I've got a plan. We can rebuild the sentry gun and blow up all the terrible killers in this thread. Then we booby trap it so anyone who uses it blows themselves up." "Sounds brilliant!" The four pick up the sentry gun pieces and rebuild the gun and a mini version of the tower and use it to blow everything up. Human Man sticks loads of chewed gum in the turret. "That oughta do it! Now it will backfire on anyone who fires it." Tech Kwon Do meets up with them and the five go looking to do good deeds. Just then, Black Violet, Experiment 2.0, Calash, Immortal113 and Shadowmantle all form a circle around them. "Well, well, well! We heard about your little group. So we decided to make our own! We've outnumbered you, too." "You outnumbered us huh? You outnumbered us five to five? Reminds me of a Yosemite Sam cartoon I watched once. Go back to school!!" The ten have the battle of the ages: Raging Cow and Black Violet clash blades, Tech and Shadowmantle fight with advanced karate moves and the power of the netherworld, Lurt Bangcaster blasts Experiment 2.0 who in return throws seemingly endless spines. Human Man insignificantly uses no powers to battle the Immortal Immortal, and the clawed Capt Timberwolf fights Calash. The results: Black Violet defeats Raging Cow just as he blasts him/her (sorry I dont no which) with Firebreath, defeating him/her, Capt. Timmy goes down just as he slays Calash, Lurt Bangcaster turns Experiment into swiss cheese, annhilating him just as he spears Lurt with an incredibly sharp spine, Shadowmantle uses dark might to destroy Tech Kwon Do, and finally, Immortal113 proves even he can lose to an inferior in some circumstances: he haymakers himself in the back of the neck! Its down to Shadowmantle and Human Man. "I cant believe my normal might defeated Immortal!" "Well you cant stand up to ME!" Shadowmantle roars and leaps through the air and grabs Human Man by the neck and raises him up in the air. "Now would be a good time for a miracle... wait! Shadowmantle! You should use the sentry gun to blow EVERYBODY up! That way, you wont have to waste the effort on me!" "Say, thats a good idea." Shadowmantle throws Human Man down, who chuckles when he sees Shadowmantle get blasted out the window, defeated, and splattered with gum. "Guess its time to refill the sentry gun."

Immortal respawns, is immediately smashed into pudding along with his post by the sheer size of the post above.

Calash tries to read the post above and his eyes explode. Later that day a bus falls from the sky and lands on a small duck. The duck was not harmed since it was a super duck.

2 hours after that a boat springs a leak, sinking to the bottom of the ocean. Nobody was on board so everybody was fine.

Calash sprays 10000 cans of hairspray, creating a gigantic hole in the O-Zone and slowly cooking everybody in the city. One by one they all die over the next 20-30 years.

However, Human Man devotes his life to plugging the hole with gum to save all the innocent people who are newbs who dont know how to respawn. He finishes within a day, and Calash has now killed nothing in his post. Immortal, keeper of the lawless smashes Calash for not killing anything and smashes Human Man for killing Calash's kill. Then he decides to go on a rampage and randomly picks to destroy the cow, the gunner, the technological martial artist and the clawed wolf. He charges the 4 and immediately flattens Capt. Timberwolf and hurls Tech Kwon Do 100 feet in the air, then Lurt Bangcaster runs around the corner to the other side of the minitower for cover and Raging Cow follows behind. Immortal flicks the tower and it falls over on them and only Lurt makes it out. "Do you like swiss cheese? I sure hope so!!" Lurt fires a slug followed by a burst followed by trops followed by a slug followed by burst followed by brawl, and takes down Immortal 1/1000000th of the way since everything missed and Immortal stepped on two caltrops! Immortal in return grabs him, and Lurt says "Wait! You dont have to waste the effort on me if you can use the gun!" Immortal bashes him anyways, then goes over to the gun which was not destroyed in the tower crash because its reinforced with gum. Immortal blows himself up when the gun backfires and unfortunately hates gum.

As Shadowmantle and Black violet respawn at the hospital, they turn to one another and say, in unison,"Eeeeew! What happened to you?!"

They walk out of the hospital and into the warming sunshine. Nearby, a summer fly buzzes lazily around their heads.

Shadowmantle turns to Black Violet: "I can't believe he didn't know you were a girl! It looks pretty obvious to me!"

"Well," she says, "Some people get distracted by the tight leather outfit. Oh... and the Katana." She flicks her wrist and the flashing of her blade makes a clean sweep through the air at the fly. It flutters down for a few feet, then regains its composure and flies away...

"You missed," Shadowmantle nudges her gently.

"Not at all," says the leather-clad assassin, the darkness in her eyes a pool of cold appraisal. Looking at the young man next to her, she decides to let him know instead of playing coy, "I hate flies, and that one was annoying me. I just killed all the generations of flies who would have come after him..."

Shadowmantle chuckles to himself at the quick wit and chill seriousness of the beautiful but deadly woman next to him. He makes a mental note to himself, "This one is not for fooling around with."

Teleporting himself and his suit, but leaving the gum behind, Shadowmantle starts the tedious journey back to the thread.

Later that day, the recently emasculated fly dies of a massive systemic infection, since he was hanging around the Vahzilok and his wounds had not yet healed.

The Gunnin' Monkey gets angry at Black Violet for killing generations to come of his favorite food. So he puts a slug in her big toe. While running away he sees a hobo lying in a dumpster he shoots him too. All in a days work he thinks to himself.

Our 5 meet up again, but then a chain of random explosions topple several tall buildings collapse and seperates Capt Timberwolf and Raging Cow from Human Man and Lurt Bangcaster. Tech is flattened by the falling debris. They agree to meet up in 10 minutes tops by the mini tower. Raging Cow and Timberwolf have to detour around many buildings, and on the way, they encounter Gunnin' Monkey, who squeals and blasts Raging Cow and kills him, and Timberwolf leaps at him. "You'd better start running, because monkeys are food for timberwolves." "No they aren't." "Yes they are!" "Well I know my predators." "Well I know my prey!" "Well you're stupid." "Well you're dead meat!" Timberwolf leaps at him and Monkey dodges, and Timmy leaps again and smacks into a wall, while monkey leaps up, through a window, tumbles out, keeps rolling, and comes right up next to Human and Lurt. He blasts Human and defeats him, and Lurt and Gunnin' Monkey have a gunfight unlike any other, and Lurt wins. Later, the group reforms at the tower, but for some reason Capt. Timberwolf never comes. They say he got a concussion so bad when he smacked his head that he forgot to respawn and he is now a tourist attraction for all moron civilians who dare enter this doom pit.

After dying alot, Experiment respawns, and flies straight to the group, saying "I wish to join you peace keepers, I only kill to save people. I even have my own head in this bag." and he pulls out Shadow Mantles head and throws it down a pit, killing the head.

As Skybert ports back in to see what's all the commotion is all about, he notices a head rolling at him, making his newly cleaned spandex dirty again.

"You shouldn't have done that!" he cries, as he pulls out a slingshot and shoots small pellets at the group where Experiment is standing.

The pellets stick to some of the groupmember's clothes, but they seem all unharmed.

"now, what's the point of that? it didn't even hurt!" says one of the group.
"yeah! grow up!" says another.

Skybert turns away and starts walking. A smug smile can be seen, as he pull out a remotecontrol. A split-second after he presses the button labelled "BOOM", there's several "BOOM"s behind him, as the sticking pellets blow up, one by one, renderring whatever they stuck to incomplete.

"Not bad," says Timestryke. "Definitely a clever use of misdirection. How about you try this one on for size..."

Timestryke furrows his brow in concentration, and suddenly, for Skybert, everything stops, then begins to rewind. To the outside world, Skybert just seems to stop, but what's really happening is a complex respinning of his personal history.

As waves of temporal paradox rip at his body, Skybert cannot recall whether he got far enough away from the blasts to escape damage, or not. As he finally falls, defeated, it seems he didn't.

Timestryke adjusts a setting on his belt buckle, and speeds off into the distance, looking like a timelapse movie of himself.

Gunnin' Monkey respawns and pulls loose shards of glass from himself. "<BLEEP> Wolf" he says. " <BLEEP> WHY CAN'T I CUSS?" The poor monkeys head explodes from thinking too much. Then that guy from Indiana Jones who eats monkey brains comes and eats his brain. Since he was a superdine crazed monkey the fat dood dies from indiggestion after he plays mini golf eighteen times strait. When he dies he falls in one of those water trap things polluting the water killing every insect in it. When the monkey respawns he is really angry and he says " You are making me very angry. You won't like me when I am angry."

After respawning, Experiment walks up to the gun, and almost fires when... "super reflexes taking over!" and takes out the bubble gum. "Spidey sense?" and he kills everyone but the peace group members.

The other four walk up to Experiment. "You have our trust now. We thought you were evil, but looks and abilities do not prove anything. I have seen several people with dark powers who fought for justice and truth. We apologize." But then Tech butts in, "Wait a moment! Why did you say you wanted to kill me way back then?" "When did I say that?" Experiment makes a sudden jerk and sends a spine right through Human Man. Then he suddenly backs up, shocked, and then starts making funny noises and moving like he's going crazy. Then he points out the door, and the three see a black cape vanishing around a corner. Experiment passes out and Tech stays to watch after him and guard the tower. Lurt and Cow run out and pursue the controller. All of a sudden, Lurt shoots Raging Cow, who falls down and makes a dive around the corner. "This is getting crazy!" Just then the wall collapses and Raging Cow makes it out but the wall pins his foot down. Then Raging looks up and Immortal113 is standing there malevolently. Immortal leaps at Raging, who barely dodges. Raging Cow whips out his fire sword and uses it to trip Immortal, knocking him out. (I know you guys will hate me for not killing him) then Lurt fires at Raging Cow again but misses, then Cow cuts apart the debris pinning his foot, leaps up and attempts to dodge another bullet and gets hit in the arm, but then slices the gun in half, causing a huge explosion that sends Lurt flying. Immortal and Lurt are on the ground and the controller is no where in sight. Raging Cow limps back to the tower and finds Tech on the ground beside Human Man with a spine in him. "Hmm... why hasn't he respawned yet?" "You've gotta love poisoned spines." Experiment walks in. "You!" "They cant respawn. The poison is messing with their heads. There's nothing you can do about it." Raging Cow raises his sword as if to strike Experiment, but then hurls it behind him and a yell is heard, and Experiment falls to the ground. "I'll be ready for you, whoever you are..."