The you kill me, I kill you...(and so on) thread!

((Why have I turned evil again? )) After respawning at the hospital after dying of some strange headache, he flew. He landed right outside the tower and see's Human and Tech, and see's the poison hasnt stopped. He grabs the spine human has, and green coming from the spine through Humans body goes back into the spine. He then takes out the spine, and does the same to Tech kwon doe.

((You were being controlled by some new bad guy running amok)) Cow waits and waits and still no sign of that controller until he whips out his fire sword and goes berserk and starts dancing and chanting to tribal tunes and then he starts spinning around and hurling flares, luckily the Peace Squad dodges. Raging Cow trips and kills himself. Lurt peeks out the window and can see part of the controllers arms. He takes a lucky shot and hits right on the money: he shot through the wall and hit him in the head. But then the bullet comes flying back at him and misses. Then all the bullets fly out of Lurt's gun and start bouncing all around the room. They manage to kill all 3 peace members alive. Then the controller, still in a black hood and black cloak, goes up to the sentry gun...

The Lord of Entropy storms into the middle of the thread, wielding 28 inches of dental floss, a secretary named Lola, a box of Ginger Snaps cookies (contents settled during shipping), a cordless mouse and 2 Gin and Tonics.

His eyes are lit like the fires of hell. Lola is taking a letter (in shorthand!).

Suddenly, The Lord of Entropy's hand drops, and he steps on the dental floss. Falling forward, he is forced to drop Lola, who screams and grabs at the cord of the mouse.

Sadly, the mouse is cordless, and her hands flail at empty air. She knocks one of the Gin and Tonics flying.

In horror at seeing his favorite cocktail sent to a certain doom, the Lord of Entropy quickly downs the other one and leaps, graceful as a cat, for the second.

Sadly, he has forgotten that he was already tumbling forward having tripped on the dental floss, and his cat-graceful leap turns into a water buffalo falling off a cliff.

He falls head first into the 2nd glass of Gin and Tonic, which becomes lodged on his head, drowning him.

As he dies, he throttles Lola for her clumsiness, killing her.

The box of settled Ginger Snaps sits on the curb, undistrubed.

Immortal clips his fingernails. Somewhere in a third world country, a small girl no older than ten mourns the death of her pet rat. A rat that was loyal to her in all its years as her pet. The rat would accompany her to all the village meetings, and it always seemed to be smiling, which made the little girl smile. And now, the little girl smiles no more. Later on the same little girl will harbor dreams of stardom, and the village will save up enough money to send her to America, where she will strive for greatness but ultimately fail, becoming a waitress at Denny's for the rest of her days. This entire story will be documented in an E! True Hollywood Story.

Immortal accidentally swallows a fly, digesting and killing it.

Timestryke steps in with a boisterous, "This is just SILLY! This thread was supposed to be a bout KILLING, not accidental slapstick shenanigans!"

"Let's try this again!"
The professor pulls out a small device from his utility belt and winds a knob counterclockwise several turns. The flashing red light increases in tempo until, at last it burns steadily. Timestryke pushes the activation switch on the temporal rewinder and....

>>FWWOOOP!<<

(I can't beileve no one has posted this back up yet....anyways)
Back on the old boards we had a thread called the "You kill me, I kill you"...I can't remember the rest of the title....
So here it is again!
The rules are as follows:

You must kill something in every post.
You can't kill the same way two times in a row
No "I had my anit-plasma suit on" crap.


BEGIN!

YFNDBA stands around quietly, waiting for someone to join. He sees a bug and deliberately steps on a it, killing it.

Satisfied, Professor Stryke adjusts his timeslider and zips off into the distance.

Argus B. Green stares at the clock at work...4:58...4:59...5:00!! Quiting time!! Argus grabs his briefcase punches out and races out of the office building and straight to Paragon Pub.

There he drinks, and drinks, and drinks, talks to some woman, gets slapped and drinks some more.

"LAST CALL!!" shouts the bartender.

Argus rolls tiredly off the stool and stumbles out of the bar...

"Hey u didn't pay buddy!?!" yelled the bartender. ARgus said nothing, instead he used his secret super power:gale and knocks the poor guy through the window..(from this day on the bartender has a bad lisp) "where the hell did i park my car" argus thought..."oh there i am" He pulls out his keys for his volvo gets in and peels out...racing down the promenade he accidently runs over Professor Stryke...killing him instantly.

"DAMN" Argus mumbles as he drags the bloody corpse into the trunk of his car. Shortly afterwards he was seen pushing his car into the lake in prometheus park, then passing out on a park bench.

Experiment... dies.. (Sorry, couldent think of anything new )

Timestryke reappears in the hosptal's 'porter rings, completely unsure of what just happened. He notices that he's now got something he has never had before: DEBT!

He's now wishing he wasn't excepted from the time rollback effects of the temporal rewinder. Ah well... Time to pay back my debt to society.

The good professor heads out of the hospital and back towards the thread. ... 1.12miles ... erf...

no matter how he plays with time, it all passes at the same speed subjectively. Just because the rest of the world is moving at a crawl by comparison doesn't mean that 1.12 miles is any less of a drag to run.

When he gets back to the killing thread, he finds things pretty much as he left them... plus one dead experiment. He goes in search of the man who hit him while driving drunk. When Timestryke finds Argus, sleeping on a park bench, it is with a sense of complete justification that he locks the sleeping lush in a temporal reflux loop. As Argus ages and withers within the time-bubble, Timestryke smiles a wicked little grin and says to himself, "Friends don't let friends drink and drive. Well now you'll be doing neither....friend."

As the last of Argus crumbles into dust, Timestryke resets his buckle again, and zips off....

"I've had it with this thread... I should have never left the campus."

Kneeling on a roof, The Scourge of Evil watches Argus wither and die in the temporal bubble. He raises his rifle, peering through the scope at TimeStryke as he turns, noticing the belt, and the buckle.

TimeStryke's body starts to fade as the supersonic bullet arrives, smashing the buckle and sending the controls awry.

The forces of the time stream are immense, and the strains just as immense. The wash of the timestream rips TimeStryke apart, depositing grisley souveneirs in random parts of history.

Elsewhere, the continuuing disruption caused a seemingly ordinary pot of flowers to turn into a massive sperm whale, who last thought before falling to earth was...

"Oh no, not again."

1492 A.D.

Aboard the Santa Maria, deckhands are busy with there morning chores. Christopher Columbus gazes out into the deep blue sea dreaming about fame and fortune.

Then, the sky turns black, lightning strikes and a portal opens above them. Everyone looks up in awe of what there witnessing.

Someone yells, "Arrrghh we've reached the end of the world!!"
And panic ensues.

Then something begins to fall through the portal, (it's timestrykes dismembered leg) the shipmates are terrified and so a riot onboard began..

Christopher Columbus tries to calm everyone down
but before he could finish saying "Everybody STAY CALM!!" his first mate drops his musket in the rush which accidently blows off Columbus' head.
Then timestrykes limp leg fell through the portal and landed on the ships deck with a squish. The sky turns blue again and the portal closes. Everyone on deck stops and gathers around the bloody leg.
"Christ it looks like somebodys leg" shouted one deck hand.
"Arrgh IT TIS somebodys leg....Take its SHOE!" shouted another.

After an hour or so of arguing over the mysterious shoe, everyone on board realizes that columbus is dead. A group decision is made to head back to Spain, "the high seas are no place for man."said the remorseful shipmate.
America isn't discovered for another 100 years, instead by another man called Buckingham Green the IV.

This event forever changes history.....

"Do you have ANY idea WHATSOEVER how EXPENSIVE it is to replace a POLONIUM COIL??"

Timestryke, just returned from the hospital (well at least there's ONE thing to thank the Rikti for!) is now standing behind The Scourge of Evil. Before the Scourge has an opportunity to get up, Timestryke kicks him solidly in the head.

"And a Tritium power source!! That stuff isn't cheap either!!" followed by a kick square in the ribs.

"Not to mention the DISCOMFORT of being ripped apart by temporal forces... a sensation I am going TRY to convey to you in VERY tangible measure!" Timestryke proceeds to massively beat upon the Scourge of Evil, finally ending the entire grisly scene by picking up a large stone and smashing it heavily upon the head of the prostrate figure. As blood and bits of bone and brain ooze out from under the rock, Timestryke notices the "blink-blink" of his victim's Hospital Teleport-badge. As The Scourge of Evil enjoys his ride to the hospital to be reassembled, Timestryke resumes his original journey away from this thread and back to the college campus where he belongs.

click click click... ZZZrrrffffff!!

Immortal kills a group of nazis by tempting them with the Ark of the Covenant.

Meff prints the thread and runs it through a paper shredder then tosses the resulting confetti into the air. Everyone dies as they have their bodies rent into small identically sized pieces tossed to the whims of the office space air conditioning.

Experiment wields the Might blade of Ra, and heads for shadow mantle... when.... *SQUISH* "Oh man, you can only kill once in this thread, damn!"

The Might blade of ra goes on a killing spree, then gets drunk and jumps off a bridge.

After respawning.... again... with "The Might Blade of Ra", Experiment threw it at the thread in a boomerang style, and it went in half, and it fell in a black hole, getting ripped into millions of tiny mollecules, and then exploding, and catching the sword again, and he said magic words into the sword that brang people back to life, and he brought back the Peace Force

Sharpe steps in, looking a little too clean.

must.. get.. blood... on.. suit...

he puts his right index and middle finger to his forehead and looks intently at experiment. a MIND BULLET lashes out and strikes experiment in the chest, killing him instantly. his lifeless body falls in theatrical slow motion onto a pink bunny nibbling on a peculiar patch of grass, squishing the bunny. a spuirt of blood from the bunny lands on Sharpe's upper thigh.

*sigh* it's a start.

Immortal kills a yak from 200 yards away. With armor-piercing bullets.

Sharpe hears a Yak get downed outside.

wtf is a Yak doing here... I MUST AVENGE IT!!!

Sharpe runs out, spots immortal, and cries out "LOOK, IT'S JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE! OVER THERE! OOOH!" the following stampede of school girls tramples immortal leaving him quite dead.

Immortal respawns, and lights Sharpe on fire. Sharpe dies. Immortal laughs.

Immortal laughs, going back to his apartment to sit on his throne and chuckle to himself.

Unfortunately, the booby-trap bomb that the Scourge of Evil had placed inside of his toilet tank was waiting for him.

Immortal flushes...

BOOM!

As his body is shredded by explosive force and flying porcelain his last thoughts are...

"whoa, gotta watch out for that 10000th flush."

After looking for 5 hours, Experiment finally finds the Peace Group... "Hey guys, we have to stop these mad-men, they will kill innocents to no stop!" then they hear another death.

Immortal peacefully slaughters Experiment for his half-arsed kill post.

Sharpe uses an awaken so he doesnt have to walk all the way back to the scene of the crime. he finds scourge of death...fear... darkness... whatever his name was and shoots him in the forehead with a potato gun he stole from a little kid. the piece of potato lodges itself in ...his brain causing him to die a most painful death. Sharpe then goes and hands the kid his potato gun back.

Immortal tapdances himself into the afterlife.