Alternate Ways Statesman Could Die

So I see people complaining that Statesman's canonical death was unsatisfying. I won't comment on that. Haven't play the arc yet and don't want this thread to go there anyway. It did, however, remind me of the old fall-back: Let's see you do better.

Challenge Accepted! Here's my proposal: Write up better ways Statesman could die. Show off your fantastic storytelling skills. And I'll step up first.

AWESOME Ways Statesman could have died

• Stubbed his toe, which is discovered to be his Achilles... toe.
• Lord Recluse exposes him to Schmiptonite, his only weakness.
• He realizes he's been fighting to save a world where Jersey Shore outlasts Community and takes the honorable way out.
• Impervious and Immune to all forms of doctorly concoctions... he dies of the common cold.
• Fugu me!
• Nemesis flips the "Off" switch.
• Goes back in time to prevent himself from ever using time travel and is eaten by a paradox.
• "This milk's expiration date is how old? But what is that in Immortal years?"
• After saving the world a billionth time, he accepts an invitation to a party with Keith Richards. He is later found outside a hospital emergency room with a note stapled to his back that reads "N0T STATEMAN"
• Turns out the answer really was "Batman, if he has time to plan".
• "Hold my beer."

Lightning bolt?

Turns out he was made entirely of SOPA.

Everyone thought Statesman was a practically indestructible superhero, and then he took an arrow to the knee.

Slipped on a bannana peel and hit the ground just right...

Drawn and quartered, Burned at the stake or Impaled.

Jet Turbine (haven't you seen The Incredibles?!)
Those tricky, tricky capes.

Rocks fall. Everyone dies.

any (any) of the ways that Super Dave was vidiotaped. And don't States couldnt be killed that way. It would be perfect. He does a stunt, for charity, but a villain rigs the whole thing so it affects him.

Then you just here this voice "Guys, that really hurt. No, I think I'm dying in here."

I like Nemesis flips the off-switch!

Hmm.

I don't know, but it starts off with "Wanna see something cool?"

He accidentally hit the "walk" power when he went to attack Wade detoggling himself and being killed... oh wait thats what happened.

He finds himself a character in the last few days of a David Willis webcomic.

Statesman was a superhero,
But Statesman is no more;
What Statesman thought was H2O
Was H2SO4.

He was written off when the whole City of Heroes Universe was rebooted.

("Wally West ? What are you doing here ?... and as a matter of fact, where are we ?")

He encounters a Killer Dungeon Master who proceeds to roll on the Wandering Damage Table.
"Hmmm, 86: character cuts himself shaving, roll on limb loss subtable."
*rattle rattle*
"1: head."

Found himself in a happy relationship on a Joss Whedon show.

He ran into an army of Weeping Angels.