The Barman says "Sorry, we don't serve time travellers here."
The Doctor walks into a bar.
We built this city on Rock and Roll!
Quote:
I've heard a similar joke:|
Originally Posted by Coin
The Barman says "Sorry, we don't serve time travellers here."
The Doctor walks into a bar. |
We dont allow faster than light neutrinos in here, said the bartender. A neutrino walks into a bar.
Same concept.
I find your lack of signature disturbing.
Quote:
Heard that as "Sorry, can't serve you if you're not with the relatives." :P
|
Originally Posted by Frost Warden
I've heard a similar joke:
We dont allow faster than light neutrinos in here, said the bartender. A neutrino walks into a bar. Same concept. |
Is it time for the dance of joy yet?
Great Pick Up Lines in Science
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Kardashians... Cardassians... Now it all makes sense. 
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A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a drink.
The bartender replies, "for you, no charge."
Make a man a fire and keep him warm for the day, SET a man on fire and keep him warm for the rest of his life.
Incarnates: K'lir(Fire/Dark Corr):Hot-House Flower(Plant/Fire Dom):Kinrad X(Kin/Rad Def):Itsy-Bitsy Spider(Crab):Two Ton Tony(Mace/WP Broot):Teeny Weeny Widow(Fortunata/Widow) : Zeroth Law (Ice/Fire Tank)
And my all-time favorite:
A mathematician, a biologist and a physicist are sitting in a streetcafe watching people going in and coming out of the house on the other side of the street.
First they see two people going into the house. Time passes. After awhile they notice three persons coming out of the house.
The physicist: "The measurement wasn't accurate."
The biologists: "They have reproduced".
The mathematician: "If now exactly one person enters the house then it will be empty again."
Make a man a fire and keep him warm for the day, SET a man on fire and keep him warm for the rest of his life.
Incarnates: K'lir(Fire/Dark Corr):Hot-House Flower(Plant/Fire Dom):Kinrad X(Kin/Rad Def):Itsy-Bitsy Spider(Crab):Two Ton Tony(Mace/WP Broot):Teeny Weeny Widow(Fortunata/Widow) : Zeroth Law (Ice/Fire Tank)
Not so much jokes but...
... definitely geek humor.
(Borrowed from teh interwebs...)
Nuff Said...
Coolio Wolfus leader of Coolio�s Crusaders on Union.
Tekna Logik leader of Tekna�s Tormentors on Defiant.
Creator of: Coolio's Tech Beacon Replacements
AE arc 402506, 'The Rise and Demise or Otherwise of Tekna Logik...'.
And I thought this thread was going to be full of the type of jokes my dad used to tell, such as:
Q: How many ears does Captain Kirk have?
A: Three. A left ear, a right ear and a final front ear.
Oh well. 
@Dante EU - Union Roleplayer and Altisis Victim
The Militia: Union RP Supergroup - www.themilitia.org.uk
Well, if you insist...
Q. What's a Dalek's favourite beauty tip?
A. EXFOLIATE! EXFOLIATE! EXFOOOLLIIIAAATTE!!
Is it time for the dance of joy yet?
Quote:
As a father, I approve of this joke.|
Originally Posted by Dante
And I thought this thread was going to be full of the type of jokes my dad used to tell, such as:
Q: How many ears does Captain Kirk have? A: Three. A left ear, a right ear and a final front ear. Oh well. |
A few:
There are 10 kinds of people, those who understand binary and those who don't.
To get to the other side!
Why did the tachyon cross the road?
There's no place like 127.0.0.1
Quote:
--Eddie Izzard, "Circle"
|
...but there must've been a Death Star canteen, yeah? There must've been a cafeteria downstairs, in between battles, where Darth Vader could just chill and go down: "I will have the penne all'arrabbiata." "You'll need a tray." "Do you know who I am?" "Do you know who I am?" "This is not a game of who are you. For I am Vader, Darth Vader, Lord Vader. I can kill you with a single thought." *pause* "Well, you'll still need a tray." "No, I will not need a tray. I do not need a tray to kill you. I can kill you without a tray, with the power of the Force, which is strong within me. Even though I could kill you with a tray if I so wished." "No, the food is hot. You'll need a tray to put the food on." "Oh, I see, the food is hot. I'm sorry, I did not realize." |
Is it time for the dance of joy yet?
Quote:
That made me laugh a hell of a lot more than it should have done. That said, I am the guy who bought his daughter a bib with a Dalek on it and the word 'REGURGITATE!' written underneath it. |
Originally Posted by DreamWeaver
Well, if you insist...
Q. What's a Dalek's favourite beauty tip? A. EXFOLIATE! EXFOLIATE! EXFOOOLLIIIAAATTE!! |
I can see myself picking up a lot of jokes to tell her from this thread.
@Dante EU - Union Roleplayer and Altisis Victim
The Militia: Union RP Supergroup - www.themilitia.org.uk
Three statisticians are target shooting. The first one hits exactly 5 cm left of the target. The second one hits exactly 5 cm right of the target. The third one screams, "I got it!"
Let me never fall into the vulgar mistake of dreaming that I am persecuted whenever I am contradicted.
~Ralph Waldo Emerson
"I was just the one with the most unsolicited sombrero." - Traegus
Quote:
i know.. i want less pointless talents dammit
|
Originally Posted by Coolio
Not so much jokes but...
... definitely geek humor. (Borrowed from teh interwebs...) |
C:/Dos
C:/Dos/Run
Run/Dos/Run
I still play for fun
From Liberty to Freedom
Any team level
Quote:
Two atoms are walking down the street. The first atom turns to the second and says, "Hold on a sec, I lost an electron." The second atom asks, "Are you sure?" The first atom replies, "I'm positive."|
Originally Posted by Kinrad
A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a drink.
The bartender replies, "for you, no charge." |
An Argon atom walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hit the road, pal, we don't serve noble gasses in here." The Argon atom doesn't react.
Two scientists walk into a bar... the first one says, "I'll have some H2O." The second one says, "I'll have some H2O, too." They drink a toast to their latest discovery and the second scientist dies.
Descartes walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, bud, you want a beer?" Descartes replies, "I think not," and disappears.
Heisenberg and Schroedinger are driving and get pulled over.
The cop asks, "Do you know how fast you were going?"
Heisenberg says. "No, but I can tell you exactly where I was."
The cop thinks this answer is warrant for a search, and finds a dead cat in the trunk.
He asks, "Do you know you have a dead cat in the trunk?"
Schroedinger says, "Pft, well I do now."
Why do moon rocks taste better than Earth rocks?
Because they're a little meteor.
(Sometimes, I wish there could be a Dev thumbs up button for quality posts, because you pretty much nailed it.) -- Ghost Falcon
Quote:
Ah yes. Messing the childer up early. GOOD MAN!
|
Originally Posted by Dante
That made me laugh a hell of a lot more than it should have done. That said, I am the guy who bought his daughter a bib with a Dalek on it and the word 'REGURGITATE!' written underneath it.
I can see myself picking up a lot of jokes to tell her from this thread. |
Clicking on the linked image above will take you off the City of Heroes site. However, the guides will be linked back here.
Quote:
Even though I could see it coming a mile away, I still laughed loud enough to disturb my office. Thank you! |
Originally Posted by mousedroid
Heisenberg and Schroedinger are driving and get pulled over.
The cop asks, "Do you know how fast you were going?" Heisenberg says. "No, but I can tell you exactly where I was." The cop thinks this answer is warrant for a search, and finds a dead cat in the trunk. He asks, "Do you know you have a dead cat in the trunk?" Schroedinger says, "Pft, well I do now." |
Make a man a fire and keep him warm for the day, SET a man on fire and keep him warm for the rest of his life.
Incarnates: K'lir(Fire/Dark Corr):Hot-House Flower(Plant/Fire Dom):Kinrad X(Kin/Rad Def):Itsy-Bitsy Spider(Crab):Two Ton Tony(Mace/WP Broot):Teeny Weeny Widow(Fortunata/Widow) : Zeroth Law (Ice/Fire Tank)
Okay. Time to go semi-hardcore.
4120524f54313320656e636f6465722077616c6b7320696e74 6f20612062617220616e642073617973205c224a756c206775 722075727979206e7a205620757265723f202056207162615c 2767207165766178215c22
10 million inf to the first person who gets this one.
Clicking on the linked image above will take you off the City of Heroes site. However, the guides will be linked back here.
My baby son has the following crawler from ThinkGeek:
Quote:
Had to laugh at this, thanks! |
Originally Posted by mousedroid
Heisenberg and Schroedinger are driving and get pulled over.
The cop asks, "Do you know how fast you were going?" Heisenberg says. "No, but I can tell you exactly where I was." The cop thinks this answer is warrant for a search, and finds a dead cat in the trunk. He asks, "Do you know you have a dead cat in the trunk?" Schroedinger says, "Pft, well I do now." |
I find your lack of signature disturbing.
Quote:
Address all complaints to the Monsanto Corporation.|
Originally Posted by mousedroid
Why do moon rocks taste better than Earth rocks?
Because they're a little meteor. |
There is an art, or, rather, a knack to flying. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. --The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
Q: How many web developers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Yeuch! How dare you - that's a hardware issue...
Is it time for the dance of joy yet?
Is it time for the dance of joy yet?