The CDC Says: Be Prepared!
By
Beastyle,
Posted on: 2011-05-19 14:09 in Comic and Hero-Villain Culture
Bah! The more that survive, the less stuff that's available fer lootin'!
Unless said survivors are lingerie models that just happen to need a zombie-proof home to stay at...oh yes...
That is cool. Now nobody can say the CDC doesn't have a sense of humor!
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Dropped the ebola vial! Run!|
Originally Posted by Inazuma
That is cool. Now nobody can say the CDC doesn't have a sense of humor!
|
Ha, just kiddin'.
The Alt Alphabet ~ OPC: Other People's Characters ~ Terrific Screenshots of Cool ~ Superhero Fiction
huh says nothing about baseball bats nor guns.....let alone samuri sword....is not the complete kit
Now we aren't ready quite yet to let the catgirls out of the bag.... (quote from ex libris)
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Because anyone who uses a baseball or a katana is not long for this world.|
Originally Posted by Head_Kracker
huh says nothing about baseball bats nor guns.....let alone samuri sword....is not the complete kit
|
They're fine for OH **** weapons, but should not by any stretch of the imagination, be your main defense.
Guns are pretty much a given. But they probably don't want to be seen to be encouraging the...less reality-based...members of our society.
Note that the CDC is conspicuously not mentioning their elite team of biohazard-suited anti-zombie commandos. That's a shame, because I sleep better at night knowing that orange-clad zombie-slaying ninja exist and are employed by my government.
Just in case.
Comrade Smersh, KGB Special Section 8 50 Inv/Fire, Fire/Rad, BS/WP, SD/SS, AR/EM
Other 50s: Plant/Thorn, Bots/Traps, DB/SR, MA/Regen, Rad/Dark - All on Virtue.
-Don't just rebel, build a better world, comrade!
Quote:
tell that to these folks http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Highschool_of_the_Dead|
Originally Posted by Dark One
Because anyone who uses a baseball or a katana is not long for this world.
They're fine for OH **** weapons, but should not by any stretch of the imagination, be your main defense. Guns are pretty much a given. But they probably don't want to be seen to be encouraging the...less reality-based...members of our society. |
oh and might be a touch NSFW
Now we aren't ready quite yet to let the catgirls out of the bag.... (quote from ex libris)
I call shenanigans. Not once did they mention a Chainsaw. Everyone knows that's necessary for a Zombie Apocalypse. At least, it is when you don't have Milla Jovovich handy...
~Freitag
Kevin Callanan
Community Specialist
Paragon Studios
Okay so let the zombies come then. You know as well as I do that there are too many stupid people in the world, time to start thinning the herd I say.
p.s. let's hope the zombies start in washington d.c. first. 
*Shadow Ravenwolf fires up his trusty 'ol Dual Chainsaws and heads off to Washington DC... whether or not the Zombies have started attacking or not*
Comic and Hero/Villain Culture
Saturday January 29th, 2005 (12:37 PM) ~ Monday August 9th, 2010
Those Who Lived It Will Remember Long after your Ban Hammer Crumbles and the servers flicker dead.
We Will Remember This One Moment In Time! ~ Shadow Ravenwolf
Quote:
... Gordon Freeman?
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Originally Posted by Smersh
Note that the CDC is conspicuously not mentioning their elite team of biohazard-suited anti-zombie commandos. That's a shame, because I sleep better at night knowing that orange-clad zombie-slaying ninja exist and are employed by my government.
|
Quote:
| The rise of zombies in pop culture has given credence to the idea that a zombie apocalypse could happen. |
*whacks article on head with crowbar*
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Actually the Zombie Survival guide states that Chainsaws are a bad idea when dealing with Zombies..|
Originally Posted by Freitag
I call shenanigans. Not once did they mention a Chainsaw. Everyone knows that's necessary for a Zombie Apocalypse. At least, it is when you don't have Milla Jovovich handy...
~Freitag |
go with a Katana instead.
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I agree. A chainsaw would be spewing gory, bloody, *infectious* gobbets of zombie all over the user. One scratch and in a bit you're a chainsaw-wielding zombie. >.> On second thought...
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Originally Posted by MrYukon
Actually the Zombie Survival guide states that Chainsaws are a bad idea when dealing with Zombies..
go with a Katana instead. |
Thankfully, after Saturday there will be a lot fewer potential zombies to worry about. 
Positron: "There are no bugs [in City of Heroes], just varying degrees of features."
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........or more. |
Originally Posted by Goliath Bird Eater
Thankfully, after Saturday there will be a lot fewer potential zombies to worry about.
|
Pretty big coincedence the CDC is putting this out now.
Maybe they too are trying to cover their bases "just in case". Or maybe they know something we don't. 
I've already forgotten about most of you
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Not only that, but the chainsaw itself is just too impractical.|
Originally Posted by sleestack
I agree. A chainsaw would be spewing gory, bloody, *infectious* gobbets of zombie all over the user. One scratch and in a bit you're a chainsaw-wielding zombie. >.> On second thought...
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You're obviously not going to be using an electric chainsaw, so you're stuck with a gas-powered model. The gas can run out on you, the engine can stall, and it won't necessarily start up every single time you try. Then there's the fact that, although the odds decrease when you're cutting through flesh, that the chain can get caught on something This can lead to the saw not operating, the chain breaking, or the saw even being pulled from your hands. Finally, chainsaws are noisy when operational. So you're forced to choose between either only starting it up when necessary and risking failure, or keeping it running and potentially drawing the attention of more undead than wanted.
Sure, it looks cool when Bruce Campbell is cutting through scores of Deadites. But that's just a movie. This is the real world, and a chainsaw is NOT a good weapon for fighting the undead. To be honest, any weapon which requires you to be within grabbing and biting distance of the undead isn't a good weapon. But if you do want some sort of close-range weapon for fighting the undead, you can do much better than a chainsaw.
Positron: "There are no bugs [in City of Heroes], just varying degrees of features."
Slingshot to the eye socket; pellets of Draino. Then again... a flamethrower could be fun.
Apparently, I play "City of Shakespeare"
*Arc #95278-Gathering the Four Winds -3 step arc; challenging - 5 Ratings/3 Stars (still working out the kinks)
*Arc #177826-Lights, Camera, Scream! - 3 step arc, camp horror; try out in 1st person POV - 35 Ratings/4 Stars
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Originally Posted by Head_Kracker
tell that to these folks http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Highschool_of_the_Dead
oh and might be a touch NSFW |
Oh come on now...
When talking about HOTD, you should of linked to the Tropes page instead (the touch NSFW still applies).
Otherwise a nice article by our good friends at the CDC.
Thank you for the time...
@Travlr (Main) / @Tymers Realm (Test) 
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Incorrect. While your standard wooden baseball bat will shatter under the strain of repeated use during a zombie invasion, rendering you a helpless and easy meal, gentlemen, let me tell you about the Cold Steel bat.|
Originally Posted by Dark One
Because anyone who uses a baseball [bat]...is not long for this world.
|
Precision-injection molded high-grade polypropylene. It won't break. It won't warp. You can smash a cement block with it and run it over with a truck. Will not weather, crack, splinter or fade. At 2lbs. 1oz. it can be swung repeatedly in a hectic situation with minimal fatigue. The shorter 29" version provides the best versatility in a confrontation with zombies. Also, it cleans with soap and water.
This is, hands down, the BEST melee weapon for a zombie invasion. Take it from someone who actually has a bug out kit specifically in case of zombies. Not tornadoes, or earthquakes, or random natural disasters, ONLY FOR ZOMBIES. The baseball bat is your best bet for survival.
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Mmmmm.... Milla Jovovich...|
Originally Posted by Freitag
I call shenanigans. Not once did they mention a Chainsaw. Everyone knows that's necessary for a Zombie Apocalypse. At least, it is when you don't have Milla Jovovich handy...
~Freitag |
I'm sorry, what were we talking about? Got distracted there...
-Buxley
"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened." -- Dr. Seuss
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Respectfully, no it's not. Baseball bat assumes that you are in melee range. Melee range means that you are going to get bit at some point. Getting bit defeats the purpose of the exercise.|
Originally Posted by Beastyle
Incorrect. While your standard wooden baseball bat will shatter under the strain of repeated use during a zombie invasion, rendering you a helpless and easy meal, gentlemen, let me tell you about the Cold Steel bat.
Precision-injection molded high-grade polypropylene. It won't break. It won't warp. You can smash a cement block with it and run it over with a truck. Will not weather, crack, splinter or fade. At 2lbs. 1oz. it can be swung repeatedly in a hectic situation with minimal fatigue. The shorter 29" version provides the best versatility in a confrontation with zombies. Also, it cleans with soap and water. This is, hands down, the BEST melee weapon for a zombie invasion. Take it from someone who actually has a bug out kit specifically in case of zombies. Not tornadoes, or earthquakes, or random natural disasters, ONLY FOR ZOMBIES. The baseball bat is your best bet for survival. |
The smart zombie survivor does everything he can to avoid ANY encounter with the undead.
A baseball bat when you want to be silent and only have single deaders to worry about? Risky, but acceptable.
A baseball bat when facing two or more and you aren't outfitted with a shark suit or hardened leather armor? Go right ahead...just make sure you tell me where your supplies are at, since you won't be needing them any more...
Unless you are a Woody Harrellson-esque zombie fighter, melee is your last resort. The best weapon for house and close range zombie clearing, IMO, is a .22LR Luger-type pistol with several extra clips. Quick to reload, relatively quiet, sufficient penetrating power, the ammo is lightweight and easy to find.
For an OH **** weapon, a bat is sufficient. But if you are getting into an OH **** situation, then you aren't in control. If you aren't in control...
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No, not when you can get your hands on one of these:|
Originally Posted by Beastyle
The baseball bat is your best bet for survival.
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Quote:
Well, we were speaking specifically about melee weapons in a zombie confrontation, like baseball bats and katanas. Obviously that's not the situation you ever want to be in, however the point stands: if you ARE in melee range, if you need to have something on your person in case zombies get close--again, something you want to avoid at all costs, we agree on this point--then the baseball bat is your best bet for survival in such an instance.|
Originally Posted by Dark One
Respectfully, no it's not. Baseball bat assumes that you are in melee range. Melee range means that you are going to get bit at some point. Getting bit defeats the purpose of the exercise.
The smart zombie survivor does everything he can to avoid ANY encounter with the undead. ... A baseball bat when facing two or more and you aren't outfitted with a shark suit or hardened leather armor? |
Also, why would you ever NOT be outfitted with armor, like a sharksuit or leather? If you ever need to leave your current position, for whatever reason, you should at least be wearing something like a motorcycle suit, with kevlar, leather, and a cordura mesh.
For the Zombie Apocalypse!