Lie to Troy Hickman

They've added a new "Citizen" Praetorian Epic Archetype.

You walk around and wave at people and talk about how great life is.

And sometimes you have to tell the time.

It's awesome.

Heroes got renewed and the comments from the CaH/VC threads will scroll on the bottom of the screen. The person with the pithiest comment for the week gets to decide who lives and who dies. And gets a puppy. And a braunschweiger sandwich with onions and yellow mustard.

All Praetorians have moustaches that they twirl. They also tie poor maidens to the railroad tracks. You can decide to either rescue those maidens or drive the train over them. No worries, it's all Comic Violence (Rated T for Teen and all that).

You CAN have a pony now.

An evil, evil pony.

And you certainly have to try the new Praetorian arc given by Hick Troyman, the Minister of Propaganda and comic artist.

I hear the fix for him appearing without pants is a patch or two down the road.

As a tie-in to the upcoming CoH movie, all the Carnie Ring Mistresses have been remodeled to resemble Rosanne Barr. The outfits are still the same, though.

They've finally considered adding Flowing hair and butt-capes into the game and would try implement and expand on it as soon as possible.

The developers have said they're not working on getting us costume pieces based of enemy NPCs and told us not to stay tuned on the issue.

Loyalist and Reistance factions have been replaced with Team Edward and Team Jacob factions.

Because players were complaining about low frames per second, there is now the option to lower the polygon count to zero and use just vector graphics. This is called Under Mode, or 'UM'. Running UM on an Intel integrated graphics chip can result in over 20 thousand frames per second.

Here is the RWZ in UM:

Oh man, the things you have missed! Let's take a look, shall we?

• A new Time Travelling faction has been implemented, allowing you to fight against Cavemen cyborgs, Pirate Ninja Cowboys, Roman Soldiers riding dinosaurs, and a giant monster that's a gigantic T-Rex turned into a mobile weapons platform.
  
• Regen was unnerfed to it's original state
  
• Influence and Infamy have now been renamed "Money"
  
• BaBs has added a variety of new weapon models for Weapon customization, including Carps, Nerf weapons, Mops, Airblast guns, and other goofy joke weapons.
  
• In order to cut down on Powerleveling, the Devs have added a button that allows you to instantly reach level 50. Sadly, many people have flooded the boards complaining that it's too much work to have to use it.
  
• Beach Towels and Dish Towels have now been added as cape options.
  
• A new Task Force has been added where you use the new 1-Hit temp power "Hostess Fruit Pies" to defeat Lord Recluse and the rest of Arachnos with it's golden flaky crust and real fruit filling.
  
• Big Red Balls have been given to everyone, except Villains (Because the Devs hate villains).
  
• Due to complaints that the female characters in the game are exploited and treated as sex objects, all female costume options in the game have been removed and replaced with a style more befitting women in todays society. Sadly, certain forum goers feel that this is still too revealing, and have threated to sue.
  
• In their infinite wisdom, the Devs have added the greatest superhero of all time to the signature characters in the game: Volks-Wagner.
  
• Finally, and the most important change, is that the Devs have admitted that the declining server population means Doom for the game, and have thus decided that the only proper solution is to merge the servers...
  
  ...with the World of Warcraft servers.

In addition to Mace, Broadsword and Katana sets, we now have Pool Noodles.

The cries of "Nerf Pool Noodles!" are leading to some serious head-scratching all around.

Contacts in Praetoria are cannibals. It's true!

"Interrogator Kang greets you as you enter the warehouse, full of Arachnos and Resistance."

Pesky commas.

The new "flasher" emote strategically drops a characters pants, with hands crossed over the funny parts.

Great at parties, even better at Virtue Pocket D!

Well, the side-switching is nice although personally I think its excessive to make me run several dozen missions just to switch my Katana to my right hand.

Hamidon and the Devouring Earth have been declared a protected species, and it is now illegal to hunt them in both Primal Earth and Praetoria.

According to Emperor Cole: "It was all just one big misunderstanding, Hamidon just wanted to give us hugs and cookies."

That and Westin Phipps is now the mayor of Paragon City.