Things CoH Santa has to Worry About...

Santa Claus has a lot of things to worry about in our world; what with delivering presents to most of the world's children in a single night, elf rights, frequent BIO breaks for the reindeer and the occassional air space violation over military bases.

However, one might imagine that the Santa Claus in the City of Heroes dimension may have a few concerns that ours does not...

* Every super villain in the world knows he's carrying a veritable ton of loot, the night he's going transporting it as well as his standard operating procedure for delivery. As added bonuses they don't have to leave their homes to get it and can claim to the cops it was self defense against breaking and entering.

* The psychics of the world can tell if HE's been naughty or nice.

* The elves keep getting into philosophical debates about whether they are Natural or Magical origin.

* The reindeer get offended by the wolf-whistles and cat-calls from the Tuatha de Dannan every time he delivers to Croatoa.

* All the danged Nemesis plots trying to get himself back on the Nice list.

* Months of letters from Westin Phipps attempting to convince him the people of the Rogue Isles really WANT lumps of coal so as to keep warm during the winter.

* The presents scattered around Paragon and Rogues during the Winter Event. He's tired of having to explain to small children that HIS presents won't spawn giant killer snowmen.

* Rikti attacks by commanders who heard about the Magic of Christmas and want to erradicate it.

* Every year Santa gives Statesman a brand new FULL helmet for his costume. And every year Statesman forgets and rips the thing in half the first time he takes it off.

* Foreshadow ALWAYS knows what's in the present.

* The contents of Captain Mako's gift always leaks over the other presents in the sack.

* Swan still refuses to sing "Santa Baby" to him when he delivers her present.

* Mrs Claus constantly referring to Widow as the "Ghost of Christmas' Past" for that one little indiscretion when she was still living.

* Scirroco's name appearing on the Naughty list no matter how many times Santa writes it down on the Nice.

* Being the real reason behind the condition of Boomtown and constantly having to remember that, despite her requests or how nice she's been that year, Mynx is NOT to receive catnip toys for Christmas.

* Hand delivering Fusionette's present because lord only knows who's captured her this week.

* Base Raiding defenses.

* Explaining to Wretch that his gift of a pet bunny is a "look but don't touch" kind of present.

* Having to work closely with Bill Gates just to puzzle out what the heck Luminary's gift request is.

* Form letter responses to all the requests to "please un-nerf ED."

* People using Ouroboros to rewrite their letters to Santa over and over again until their gift-receiving potential is maximized.

* Red Cap requests for female elves as breeding stock.

Applause!

Never Disappoints!!













Ever!

* Snipers, Circle of Thorns rituals, and unruly Clockwork on rooftops.

* Overstock of children's toys since there's only 2 kids in the whole city.

* Having to set up guard around Azuria's gift to keep it from being stolen before she wakes up X-Mas morning

* Competition from Crey Santa

* Heroes constantly trying to raid him for his Candy Canes

On the plus side:

Speed Boosted Reindeer

LOL!!! Jingle bells, Jingle....ASSASSIN STRIKE!

Another good one, Steelclaw. You never disappoint.

* Remembering to never, ever give Hellions coal for being naughty.

* After the lawsuit alleging religious persecution and terrorist threats, to never give coal or anything else flammable to the Cabal.

* Therapy for the elves wrapping gifts for the Carnies.

* The...treats the Carnies leave out for Santa. Mmmmmmm. Yeah. Yup, down as 'Good' for another year...