ZERO STARS: The Worst of the Worst of MA
By
airhead,
Posted on: 2009-06-25 17:20 in Mission Architect
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(Terrible grammar and punctuation, along with the abuse of netspeak and emoticons throughout the entire thing. Canon defilement is only the first of this arc's problems. The only way it could be made worse would be if it was in Hindu)
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LANGUAGE GEEK INTERLUDE
Hindu's the religion. Hindi is the language. Not counting the highfalutin' learned vocabulary, Hindi is the same as Urdu, an altogether cooler and more exotic name for what amounts to a mutually intelligible language. Verbum sapienti satis.
(Hindi and Urdu are the same language divided by religion. The common language, also called Hindustani, is spoken over a wide region of Pakistan and northern India. Urdu gets its learned and technical vocabulary from Arabic and Persian, being the Muslim version. Hindi gets its learned and technical vocabulary from Sanskrit; it's the Hindu version. When they all learn to hold hands and get together in brotherhood and harmony, they'll both get their learned and technical vocabulary from English. Or Esperanto, maybe.)
<《 New Colchis / Guides / Mission Architect 》>
"At what point do we say, 'You're mucking with our myths'?" - Harlan Ellison
Whoops, my bad. Consider me learned.
Fix'd, and thanks.
By the way, I've noticed you have the tendency to sprinkle Latin every now and then into your posts. You speak it?
I've been trying to study it--rough language to learn.
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I've noticed you have the tendency to sprinkle Latin every now and then into your posts. You speak it?
I've been trying to study it--rough language to learn.
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Three years of high school and four years of college Latin, and in law school I did research work for a professor involving medieval legal texts. I am fairly well at home in Latin, although the legal Latin probably ruined any chance I may have had at developing a Ciceronian style.
<《 New Colchis / Guides / Mission Architect 》>
"At what point do we say, 'You're mucking with our myths'?" - Harlan Ellison
Hello, and welcome back to another edition of ZERO STARS, your best and brightest place to receive the murkiest and grimiest that AE has to offer.
*Cue Theme Song*
. . . Note to self: Compose ZERO STARS Theme song.
This time, I'll be checking out
Arc name: King Dong
Arc ID: 15459
Morality: Villainous
Average Rating: 2 stars
Description: Kill King Dong
In another shameless bid to inflict my characters upon you, I'll open by introducing the character I used to run through the mission with. Today, I'll be playing through the arc this time with Red Oni, a level 21 War Mace/Invuln tanker. There's a small part of me that's feeling apprehensive over sending a female alt into a mission labeled 'King Dong' but I've played a mastermind long enough to know it's occasionally beneficial to send your underlings to their death, so what the hell.
The mission contact turns out to be dust bunny, who has a sort of pissed-off expression and a schoolgirl outfit in green and brown, complete with plush kitten on her shoulder, and asks me to 'take care of' a 'friend' of hers.
. . .Little girl, you just asked a supervillain to take care of someone, so I HOPE he's not actually your friend. More importantly, she just asked a brutish ogre, so I whack her over the head with my club and step into the mission over her unconcious body.
Once inside, I'm greeted by a lowly minion of the 'dongers' faction, a Dongers servant a man with a horrible outfit with a bowler, kilt, vest, beard and glasses, all dual-toned purple and pink. He offers me a seat and a complementary fistful of arrows, which I decline and beat him senseless for being a crime against fashion. They also have the ability to channel their sheer . . . costume-ic badness into a burst of repelling force, as evidenced by having the force-field secondary with only force-bolt, as the next mob of guys decides to show me, before defaulting to their bows. My eyes where immediately drawn to the Lts in the next mob, partly because I wanted to check their powers and assess the danger but MOSTLY because the minons where a little painful to look at. The 'donger' lts are called 'Dongers Overseers' and . . . Wait, hey. I know that preset costume, even through the blue and purple~ That's one of the preset costumes, the Mobster one. I have time to reflect that 'dust bunny' was also just a two-toned recolor of an existing set, as well, before the overseers draw dual scimitars and move in to attack, glowing yellow with the indomitable willpower of old men with swords. They go down, but not before stabbing Red Oni to death once, proving that I'm god-awful at playing brutes. Continuing through the office gives me time to reflect on my own costume design, and how despite how self-critical I am, I'm at least better dressed than the people who slam 'random' four times and go with the best one. I'm practically in the zen trance of abusing people with a spiked metal club when suddenly, . . Hearken, blue letters! Actual NPC dialog! After the echoing, aching silence of Sephiroth challenge, NPC chatter falls like a shaft of golden light. Sadly, it's the kind of glowing light from above that comes from a satellite and destroys your hometown rather than anything that grants enlightenment, since the NPC chatter is one of the Donger servants doing his best bond villain impersonation.
[NPC] Dongers Servant: Well Well seems you made a major error zivion hope you enjoy your last hour to live.
Eh? Zivion? Who's Zivion? Um. Well, there's a Zivion in the objectives menu, so. . . Huh. I guess I have back-up? How thoughtful of miss Dustbunny to send us backup. Maybe I shouldn't have clubbed her. However, the wordy Servant catches eyes on me halfway through setting up the giant torture centrifuge.
[NPC] Dongers Servant: What is this!!! Is this your back up Zivion
. . .No, He's MY backup. And you can go ahead and kill him, if he got himself captured by a pair of even-con minions then I don't need him.
They find this line of logic unappealing, or maybe they want to go ahead and use the giant torture centrifuge as much as possible while it's out, so they attack me and I'm forced to bash them in the head to make them stop plinking at me with arrows. Zivion frees himself once the minions are dead and blurts out
[NPC] Zivion: Finally you made it.
. . . Finally? If I'd known you were here, got captured by Dr. Donger and his white fluffy cat and were about to be killed, I might have come sooner.
[NPC] Zivion: Ok lets go get King dong
. . You're not even listening. I'm going to drag you into the mountains and let the Oni tribe eat your delicious flesh when this is over.
Zivion gets his costume looked over in detail, since he's the least painful thing around, and a certain level of detail and care in his mostly-green and spiky outfit makes me think he might be one of the authors characters, although he still doesn't have any info text. I lead him around the corner and hear more NPC chatter letting me know I've reached my destination. King Dong can apparently see through walls (Which leads to my crack theory that he has his name due to having X-Ray vision as an uncontrollable, always on power, and staring at the naked bodies of others through their clothes has given him a permanent, painful erection. It's certainly not him being named after King Kong, who he resembles in absolutely no way other than using the Huge body type), because he calls out and greets us as we climb the stairs to him.
[NPC] King Dong: Ahh hello there Zivion please come in and sit down, oh it seems your not in the mood for chating eh.
. . Noooot particularly. Not if you're not going to use capitalization and punctuation properly. And then I round the corner and look at the beast. And he's in a suit, huge, wearing a top-hat, and yammering into his cell-phone to call int a swarm of mercenaries. He finally takes notice of us and pulls out a rifle, shooting Red Oni in the chest. I'm ABOUT to retaliate, when Zivion, who's been picking his nose and occasionally contributing a throwing knife to fights, draws dual blades and rushes King Dong, going into the usual flurry of acrobatic cuts.
[NPC] King Dong: really thats it, well then this should be easy.
Bwuh-hey? I know you're both Elite Bosses, maybe went to school together, some kind of rivalry here, but. . DUDE. You're blocking the whole door too, so I can't close to melee. On the other hand, the mercs are shooting HIM now.
[NPC] King Dong: Hmm your stronger then you look Zivion.
. . . Oh, I get it. It's the King Dong and Zivion Show. I'm just here to unstrap people from giant centrifuges and clear out the minions. Well, fine. I can tell when I'm not appreciated.
/em yoga
[NPC] King Dong: This cant be im losing!!!
. . . .
[NPC] King Dong: I shall not lose and be replaced!!!
. . . . . (In danger of being replaced? So if you kill King Dong then you become the next King Dong? Um. 'kay? I'm not sure what happens if Red Oni kills him then. In fact, I don't want to know that. I'm fairly sure it ends up with her beating people to death with a massive futa.)
[NPC] King Dong: NOOOOOOOO!
Yay, Mission complete. >
Jerk.
So I leave and head back outside to see if Dust Bunny has anything interesting to say, or hopefully a reward, seeing as how the arc is villainous and I'd prefer it not be murder for the kicks of it, especially since I didn't get to fight the big-boss himself. Dust Bunny has made a good recovery from her crack on the noggin, since she's standing up and greets me happily.
"thank you so much now im finally free."
Free? Um. You where indebted/enslaved/working for King Dong? And you're. . . in a schoolgirl outfit.
. . . . .
Well that path of mental assumption didn't lead anywhere good. Poor girl. I feel bad for hitting her now. I didn't know King Dong was into smaller women. :\ Whatever, though. No Reward, no nothing. Just a random murder because a girl in a too-short skirt asked us to. Hooray for motiveless villainy.
JERK MOVES: -1 (There aren't enough types of enemies for them to build up anything like synergy, but the spammed KB blast on the minions might be aggravating on classes without resistance to it.)
INCOHERENCY: -3 (There is a plot, but it's not very well explained. King Dong is going to be replaced? Dust Bunny is Free? Spelling and grammar errors don't help)
IRRITATION: -4 (Why hello there! My name's Zivion, I'm going to finish the map for you, and all minions will act like you're my sidekick if they acknowledge you at all!)
COMPLETEABLE: -1 (Perfectly completable.)
FINAL ANGRY METER: 2
This got me a little angry. The Zivion Ex Machina spotlight stealing squad jerk really does . . well, he doesn't ruin a perfectly good mission, but he does make it clear that the story is all about him and gives the arc some vanity publishing gloss.
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If I'd known you where here, got captured by Dr. Donger and his white fluffy cat and where about to be killed, I might have come sooner.
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It's "were". The second-person past-tense form of "to be" is were.
Sorry. Pet peeve, and I wouldn't have brought it up if you hadn't mentioned the spelling/punctuation/grammar issues with the arc.
Carry on.
I'm late to the party as always, but both of you are absolutely hilarious. *silently hopes none of his arcs show up in this thread*
[Admin] Emperor Marcus Cole: STOP!
[Admin] Emperor Marcus Cole: WAIT ONE SECOND!
[Admin] Emperor Marcus Cole: WHAT IS A SEAGULL DOING ON MY THRONE!?!?
As an 'added bonus' to your normal thread-viewing pleasure, 'Punch the Author of this Arc in the Crotch: With a meteor' is now up and playable. Just search @Crasical in the mission architect system for it.
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As an 'added bonus' to your normal thread-viewing pleasure, 'Punch the Author of this Arc in the Crotch: With a meteor' is now up and playable. Just search @Crasical in the mission architect system for it.
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My silly ranting is digitally immortalized? Whee!
-STEELE =)
Allied to all sides so that no matter what, I'll come out on top!
Oh, and Crimson demands you play this arc-> Twisted Knives (MA Arc #397769)
King Dong put the King Tut song of Steve Martin's back in my head.
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'Punch the Author of this Arc in the Crotch: With a meteor' is now up and playable.
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True to my word, I gave it 4 stars on the name alone and one extra BONUS star for having a bee girl as the contact.
'cause Bee girls are hawt. Except for when they sting you into unconsciousness and use your body cavities to store honey. Really, though, I've had worse relationships.
(srsly tho, ran solo on 41 elec/kin corr, no real problems once I was actually paying attention to what I was doing...text was cute.)
"...his madness keeps him sane.": My Profile on VirtueVerse
Can You WIN the Internet? MA Arc #85544
Inhuman Resources - At Work with IE #298132
Task Force Mutternacht #349522 <-- 1st AE Challenge
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Bee girls are hawt. Except for when they sting you into unconsciousness and use your body cavities to store honey.
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Don't be foolish. They deposit eggs in your orifices, not honey. Then, when the eggs hatch, little larval baby bees eat their way out of your body.
Slowly. Typically through the softest parts, like the eyes, genitalia or abdominal region.
Then they emerge as lovely new bee girls, dry off their shiny wings and go off in search of new hosts for the next generation of bee girls.
Love. It's a beautiful thing.
So that's why "Hardcore" has multiple definitions.
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Don't be foolish. They deposit eggs in your orifices, not honey. Then, when the eggs hatch, little larval baby bees eat their way out of your body.
Slowly. Typically through the softest parts, like the eyes, genitalia or abdominal region.
Then they emerge as lovely new bee girls, dry off their shiny wings and go off in search of new hosts for the next generation of bee girls.
Love. It's a beautiful thing.
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Actually, that's more common with wasps than bees (yes, I know you're joking, just waving my geek card around).
No review from me this week. I'm having trouble finding a suitably terrible arc.
There's plenty of bad arcs, there's plenty of wtf arcs, but none of them so far can really be classified as "the worst of the worst of MA".
I'm not sure whether to be happy or sad about this.
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Don't be foolish. They deposit eggs in your orifices, not honey. Then, when the eggs hatch, little larval baby bees eat their way out of your body.
Slowly. Typically through the softest parts, like the eyes, genitalia or abdominal region.
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Srsly. HAD. WORSE. RELATIONSHIPS.
"...his madness keeps him sane.": My Profile on VirtueVerse
Can You WIN the Internet? MA Arc #85544
Inhuman Resources - At Work with IE #298132
Task Force Mutternacht #349522 <-- 1st AE Challenge
Sounds Kafkaesque. Your SO became a giant bug and ate you alive? 
Kickass.
A bunch of people have sent me suggestions for terrible arcs, and my list of arcs to play through have shot through the roof. I've got a nice queue of terrible arcs to go through, now, so I won't be missing another update for a while. Thanks, you guys. You rock. \m/
This first one was suggested up by LaserJesus again. This man is a man after my own heart.
SAVE GOLDIE LOCKS
Playthrough Cohorts: @Crasical
Arc ID: 110798
Morality: Heroic
Description: Stop the Baldy Locks from taking over Atlas Park City Hall. Mission is considered Hard to Extreme.
Characters Used: Mondlicht (Bane Spider), Redentore (Radiation Blast/Dark Miasma), Argorath (Elec Melee/Energy Aura)
I'm no metrosexual, but I do love my hair. It's long, brown, and quite fluffy. A lot of people love their hair, really. It's hairy. And loving. And warm.
Or maybe they don't. I don't know. Maybe their hair is a sentient being tied to Nyarlathotep, with strands that reach into the very atoms of existance and need their damn shampoo done JUST RIGHT or otherwise they'll cry.
The contact is apparently one of those people that hate hair. It all opens up with an author avatar in a very tight shirt and pants, with a gigantic smirk on his face at having gotten rid of his hair and saved the Earth from eternal damnation. You go, hero! His next words, however, give me cause to balk. The Blady Locks, the legendary ne'er-do-wells of Atlas Park, are attempting to take over Atlas Park's City Hall! I'm assuming they're using their incredibly oversized Blady Blades! Oh no, the ruthlessness! The cunning! The VILLAINY! They've also somehow managed to get inside of the blimp in Atlas, despite how it has no hit detection and everyone just slides off and falls to the ground and AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SPLAT, and loaded it with bombs so that if things start going wrong...THEY'LL DRIVE IT INTO ATLAS PARK.
AT 6 MILES AN HOUR.
OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDD, IT'S THE END OF THE ENTIRE DAMN ZONE.
Why are they doing it, again?
I'unno.
GO STOP THEM.
OKAY.
Interesting thing about that is that the mission is apparently timed at about an hour. This may seem like a lot of time, but it really isn't. The office map is incredibly huger than the hugest huge, and the irritating AVs, which I'll go into later, really take up a lot of time.
Upon entering the mission, you're told that this is where you went to pay a lot of fines and tickets, and now it doesn't seem fair that you have to save it.
This is really funny!
See, because it's supposed to be a joke!
It was something that mildly inconvenienced you, and now you have to save it!
Hah! Hah hah! Hah hah! Hah! Hah hah hah! SO FUNNY.
Then again, I don't have much space to be talking about comedy, do I?
The objectives are simple. Contrary to the author avatar's information, which puts a big question upon his status as an author avatar, the enemy group is the Baldy Locks instead of the Blady Locks, and now my entire life is in question. I need to take care of Mr. Baldy, Mr. Baldy's twin, and grab eight copies of the blimp plans--why they need eight copies of the thrilling mastermind scheme of "LOAD BOOMS INTO BLIMP, DRIVE REALLYYYYY FASTTTTTT NYEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR" is beyond me.
Maybe they're forgetful.
Not many enemies are scattered around, maybe five different types total. All of them, however, are terribly designed and terribly written. The bosses, "Barbers", will take a little off of your top--by means of Fire Blast/Energy Blast, both of which with Aim. The minions, "Terminal Baldness" are Axe/Inv vampiric elves that "will make sure you're 'bald' when they're through with you", in a euphemism that makes me wonder about the implications of why they're so invulnerable to damage to excell at it. "Baldy Groom" is an Ice Blast/Willpower minion, who was apparently late to some random wedding and the father lopped his top because of it. "Mr. Baldness", an LT, is Energy Blast/Energy Manipulation and looks like a Shaolin monk--both of which on EXTREEEEEEME, so you get Nova, Build Up, Power Boost, Aim, and Total Focus. "Bridal Baldness is the Fire Melee/Psychic Blast wife of "Baldy Groom", and thinks he abandoned her. Why she thinks that when he's right next to her in the same spawn is beyond me. Maybe he's a clone of the one she was marrying. Maybe it's an epidemic--grooms abandoning their brides at the altar and then being forced to shave all their hair off at gunpoint by the angry father. Or maybe I'm thinking about this too much.
None of the NPCs have any text, as you'll note as you trek through this, which gives you leave to provide your own story. Why does being bald allow someone great evil prowess? Why is this place special enough to be overtaken? Why do they think they can crash a blimp into the hall on the ground and not get stopped by the billions of other heroes there, the numerous obsctructions in the way, the lack of speed, or the basic laws of physics?
I guess the simple answer to this all is that hair is God, lack of it is evil. Considering my massively-receding hairline despite still being a young lad, I suppose this means I'm going to convert to Satanism.
AND NOW IT'S TIME FOR:
LET'S IMAGINE THE DIALOGUE FOR THE AUTHOR!
yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay
Baldy Groom: I'll see their trial first. Bring in the evidence. Mr. Baldness! Thou robed man of justice, take thy place. Terminal Baldness! Thou, his yoke-fellow of equity, bench by his side. And YOU, terrible Goneril who looks suspiciously like a safe, are o' the accused. Sit you too!
Safe With Plans: ...
Mr. Baldness: Let us deal justly. Sleepest or wakest thou, jolly shepherd? Thy sheep be in the corn; And for one blast of thy minikin mouth, Thy sheep shall take no harm. Pur! the cat is gray.
Terminal Baldness: What the hell did you just say.
Baldy Groom: Arraign her first; 'tis lowly Goneril. I here take my oath before this honourable assembly, she kicked the poor king--her own miserable father!
Safe With Plans: ...
Terminal Baldness: Come hither, mistress. Is your name Goneril?
Safe With Plans: ...
Baldy Groom: She cannot deny it.
Terminal Baldness: Cry you mercy, I took you for a safe!
Mondlicht: DOO DEE DOO, I AM CURRENTLY RAIDING THE SAFE.
Safe With Plans: OBJECTION!
Baldy Groom: And here's another, whose warp'd looks proclaim What store her heart is made on. Stop her there! Arms, arms, sword, fire!
Mondlicht: 'Kay. BANG BANG BANG BANG. [bang]
Baldy Groom: [dying] Corruption in the place! False justicer, why hast thou let her 'scape? [dies]
Mr. Baldness: Bless thy five wits! [dies]
Terminal Baldness: I don't really appear after this, do I? [dies]
Safe With Plans: I only wanted to be loved! [dies]
As you continue to trudge forth, your willpower exceeding only the luscious locks on your crown, you'll eventually come across two AVs, the aforementioned Mr. Baldy and Mr. Baldy's twin.
Both of them hate you, and you will learn to hate them; partially because of their hate for you and you're just reciprocating, and partially because they're [censored] damn [censored] [censored] [censored] [censored] [censored] who [censored] [censored] and [censored] [censored] [censored] [censored] [censored] [censored] [censored] [censored] [censored] with [censored] [censored] [censored] and [censored] [censored] to [censored] with a rusty spoon! I mean, [censored]!
Illusion Control is one of the most varied Controller powersets out there, with a Confuse (which very few people resist), a pet that does only Fear (which very few people also resist), a multitude of pets (only one of which is actually injurable). Combine this with Willpower, which I ranted about earlier, providing incredible defenses as well as massive amounts of +HP, and you've got an incredibly tough monstrosity that can mentally castrate you quicker than "accidentally" stumbling in on the Fortunata's dressing rooms. And no amount of Stealth can save you from their +Perception, Stalker.
The author intentionally chose this combination to be bastardly, I'm assuming--throughout the entire fight, the AVs will constantly degrade you and boast about how awesome they are...and even if you beat them, they insist on a rematch! Yes, I sure like being beaten around with a gigantic dong; allow me to quit this arc, load it up again, and fight through hordes of silent enemies that I put entirely inappropriate dialogues into to stave off the boredom.
BUT WAIT! What was this about Goldie Locks? That's the point of the mission after all, right? It was even in the title!
Yeah, she's just a random hostage after you beat the twins, an afterthought of an entire trek of terrible. A tiny mob spawn holds her, and once you beat it all, the mission's over. An anti-climax if there ever was one--at least the other friggin' arcs had a Defeat All Enemies or overpowered ambushes to mix things up a bit.
This? You don't even get a satisfying conclusion.
Maybe I should take up drinking. That'd be a satisfying conclusion.
Actually, I think there's a beer in the fridge.
Brb.
JERK MOVES: -4 (Good God, Illusion Control/Willpower is terrible enough by itself. But TWO?!)
INCOHERENCY: -4 (None of the NPCs, or even the story itself, have any basis in logic or even plausibility. The lack of text or attempts to flesh the story out come as more of a mercy than a punishment)
IRRITATION: -3 (Aside from the AVs, the glowies have the maximum time limit set to them, the map is quite huge, you'll only complete it with time to spare if you stealth through, and the title character is only an afterthought)
COMPLETABLE: -3 (Defense builds will have trouble with all the Build Up and Aim going around, and only the most specialized builds will stand against Mr. Baldy and his twin. Combine this with a very low time limit, and you've got a very difficult to complete arc. Only reason it doesn't get higher is because not all of the enemies are terrible)
FINAL ANGRY METER: -5
LaserJesus really has a habit of picking out the rotten eggs. He advertised this as an isle of poo whilst I was adrift in the ocean of sparkling pure sanctity, looking for more poo so I could muck around in it, and he delivered.
It all weaves together into a tapestry of torment, and not a single moment goes by while you're in this arc in which SOMETHING is assailing your senses.
Is it as bad as the Uniocracy of Gray? No. In fact, I think nothing is as bad as the Uniocracy of Gray Part 2.
Is it as mind-shattering as the REALMS OF PAIN? No, and I hate you for bringing that up again. Now I'm going to cry. No, no, don't hold me, I don't need your sympathy.
But is it terrible? Yes. And nothing's going to change that.
For the record, if this is what being bald is like, I'm taking some friggin' vitamins to see if I can keep my hair.
SUPER SECRET NEXT ARC REVIEW PREVIEW:
VENGANCE - 25292
Summary: Fight Prince Alucard and his unending swarms of vampires.
Quick Review: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Why does this thread make me want to make a really bad mission?
I could make a really really bad one, but I ONLY have 3 slots and I'm not wasting even the current revolving one on just intentionally being bad...but making a truly bad mission would be so much fun....but still...even so...I must remember that I have other arcs already in progress that I DO want to finish...before I get distracted with another one...'specly a reli bahd won.
Some fun facts, when I played through that with my own team of horrible mission finders, I was playing an SR scrapper. I died at least twice, and nearly came close many more times thanks to the novas.
One of the teammates was a Bots/Traps mastermind, the master of killing AVs. Imagine our surprise when, what the hell, we're barely getting past his regen between a Scrapper, a Bots/Traps Mastermind, and a Storm defender.
I whip out my trusty Power Analyzer Mk III, and LO AND BEHOLD, HIS REGEN DEBUFF RESISTANCE IS 100%.
I AM NOT EVEN KIDDING.
Needless to say, after fighting the first one, we dropped nukes and summoned an HVAS for the second one.
Seriously, I am too good at finding horrible MA arcs to play. Some would see this as a curse, but having been brought up on MST3K (every week my father would cook pancakes and we'd watch it, THAT'S parenting my friends) playing awful arcs fills me with glee.
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but having been brought up on MST3K (every week my father would cook pancakes and we'd watch it, THAT'S parenting my friends)
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Damn, my father would just wake me up so I could mow the lawn on Saturdays
God this thread is brilliant.
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but having been brought up on MST3K (every week my father would cook pancakes and we'd watch it, THAT'S parenting my friends)
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Totally off topic, but who could forget the classic:
"Gamera is really neat; he is filled with turtle-meat; we are eating Gamera"
or from Mighty Jack:
Onscreen actor: "We have to get their formula for hard water..."
Crow T. Robot: "You mean ice?"
Ah, memories... 
From Godzilla Vs. Megalon:
"REX DART : Eskimo Spy!"
"Oh, How I loathe you."
"<grumble><Grumble> ...hate these stairs...stupid stairs"
"Hey! It's Oscar Wilde."
I am so glad they started Rifftrax. Not as good as MST3K but they do take the stuffing out of big-budget movies now 
.
My 50s:
Prime Minister MA/SR Scrap - Protector
Captain Hit-Guy DM/Reg Scrap - Freedom
Prime-Minister ILL/TA Troller - Freedom
Ultimate Minister Inv/SS Tanker - Freedom
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"REX DART : Eskimo Spy!"
"Oh, How I loathe you."
"<grumble><Grumble> ...hate these stairs...stupid stairs"
"Hey! It's Oscar Wilde."
I am so glad they started Rifftrax. Not as good as MST3K but they do take the stuffing out of big-budget movies now .
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If you get the chance, check out the Rifftrax for Running Man. It's not done by Mike and the Boys, but it's still absolutely amazing. ^_^
Also, "Allow me to reference my previous contention that your weapons against me are without merit!"
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"REX DART : Eskimo Spy!"
"Oh, How I loathe you."
"<grumble><Grumble> ...hate these stairs...stupid stairs"
"Hey! It's Oscar Wilde."
I am so glad they started Rifftrax. Not as good as MST3K but they do take the stuffing out of big-budget movies now .
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If you get the chance, check out the Rifftrax for Running Man. It's not done by Mike and the Boys, but it's still absolutely amazing. ^_^
Also, "Allow me to reference my previous contention that your weapons against me are without merit!"
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Yeah, I did that last week. I had to admit it was damn funny though I didn't remember Running Man having such a bad '80s style infection (ugh). That and Die Hard were good, didn't like the Tron iRiff at all (they kept interrupting each other too much).
And:
"Ladies and Gentlemen, the Cameltoe Dancers!"
My 50s:
Prime Minister MA/SR Scrap - Protector
Captain Hit-Guy DM/Reg Scrap - Freedom
Prime-Minister ILL/TA Troller - Freedom
Ultimate Minister Inv/SS Tanker - Freedom
Well, Cras gets my vote just for having a Mercs/Traps MM. My own MM gets very lonely at times.
Seriously, I <3 this thread. Thank you for making my downtime at work just a little less dreadful.
Also, props to Galactic Hobo. His first post was a tad preachy, but ever since then he's been hamming it up beautifully. I say, bravo to you, Sir.
Arc ID 181244 - Waves of Chaos
Arc ID 260113 - One Tough Cookie