CoX Weekly: The End is Near
By
AkuTenshiiZero,
Posted on: 2009-05-17 10:35 in CoH and CoV General Discussions
ha...thats great
Volt Sentinel Reference
Thunder is good, thunder is impressive, but lightning does the work.
Umm.... your welcome?
[IMG]http://img42.imageshack.us/img42/2886/coxboardsig.jpg[/IMG][B][SIZE="3"]
The shining world of the seven systems. On the continent of Wild Endeavour. In the mountains of Solace and Solitude there stood the Citadel of the Time Lords. The oldest and most mightiest race in the Universe. Sworn never to interfere. Only watch...[/SIZE][/B]
Don't worry, he mentioned he was on Pinnacle. We are all drunk by this hour of the day...
I have one
A Hetacomb recipie dropped for me two days ago.
DOOOOOOOOOOM
Can I have your—
Oh wait, never mind.
We've been saving Paragon City for eight and a half years. It's time to do it one more time.
(If you love this game as much as I do, please read that post.)
Fried, Roman, Countrymen, hand me your ears. Manticore is trying to trick you. He has told many lies on the past, but this one eats the cake.
You see my friends, Manticore cannot see dogs.
It is true. This was demonstrated very well in the recent Arachnos incident involving him. Arachnos found out about Manticore's only innate super power, which he keeps the utmost secret. They sent dogs to attack him, since they knew canines were not visible to him. The dogs started attacking him and he was like "What manner of surreptitious fisticuffs is this?" Then Statesman came in and said
"WHAT HELL YOU ARE DOING?"
"I seem to be under attack by invisible foes."
"WHY YOU LET A DOG BITE YOU? IS YOU STUPID?"
"Well, old chum, you know that concealed creeping canines cannot and are invisible to me."
Fortunately for Manticore, just then, Ghost Widow was searching for dogs in eBay, and bough the dogs attacking him. She glued them together to make a hat for Wretch. His old dog hat was dirty and he needed a new one. You see, if Wretch doesn't wear a dog hat for at least five hours a day, he becomes William Shatner. However, if he leaves it on too long, he runs the risk of becoming Vin Diesel.
Naturally, this would displease Lord Recluse, because as we all know Lord Recluse is in fact Vin Diesel. He would not want a second clone of him running around. The first clone is known as Mynx.
Mynx, when placed next to Lord Recluse, can only speak in Spanish. But that is not the point.
The point is, Manticore can't see dogs.
He fought Wretch the very next day, who can go 8 million miles a day. Then he saw another planet. It was called Earth. Wretch said:
"Cheerio, Manticore old boy! Do you like my hat?"
"Jolly good, old bean! I cannot see your hat!"
"Ah! of course! I have forgotten, dear me, what a buffoon I am! You can't see dogs! My apologies, old chap!
Then he tried calling Ghost Widow but she was busy surfing the internet looking to buy the biggest pants possible.
What she didn't realize was that Lord Recluse was watching, waiting for her to change clothes, while wearing his special glasses. Unfortunately he was standing there for a very long time because Ghosts don't change clothes.
Lord Recluse hates his glasses. He is in fact very near-sighted but refuses to wear his glasses or admit it. This is why his meeting room has a television 40 feet high.
Also, Scirocco hates it when he puts his glasses on because whenever he does Scirocco's head bursts into flames. That is why Scirocco has dreadlocks and a metal plate on his head. So it won't catch fire.
Manticore was the one who custom made the plate on his head. Scirocco can also be seen constantly driving a golf cart with hydraulics that Manticore custom made for him. Manticore thought the golf cart was invisible though, because it was made of dogs, who bark every time Scirocco pours gas on them.
I hope this history lesson has taught you all something valuable. Just remember: If Manticore says that he sees a dog, he is trying to mislead you. And if Manticore ever truly sees a dog....heavens help us all.
Now that is just silly. Everyone knows Manticore doesn't even watch TV because last time he did the TV showed a picture of a Rikti and he punched it so hard the Rikti exploded in real life. And the TV? Well. The TV became what we call "Statesman's Favorite Hat" Therefore, because he does not watch TV's, Manticore cannot be Bill Brasky. Because Bill Brasky is a figment of his imagination.
Speeding Through New DA Repeatables || Spreadsheet o' Enhancements || Zombie Skins: better skins for these forums || Guide to Guides
BARTENDER?
I have 5 of what he's having.
[ QUOTE ]
You see, in all the time I've been on Pinnacle, I've seen over time a steady increase of happy, well-adjusted players. This is a problem! It is a problem, because for every single normal, well-spoken decent person that comes to Pinnacle, the number of people who can be made fun of for rampant misuse of the English language, ATs or any other number of things diminishes significantly. This is unacceptable! Who am I supposed to make fun of?! A crisis, to be sure.
[/ QUOTE ]
Damn, I love your posts.
MOAR PLZ.
"The One"
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Infernus_Hades
The way you play changes your IO slotting..
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76 characters and Twenty-four 50s later, I still love this game.
AlienOne's Human-Form Warshade Guide (Old guide+New guide = 12,000+ views!)
[ QUOTE ]
- I don't know how to make bullet points in HTML, so I use hyphens. ...this isn't a direct corollary to the end per se, but it IS important, because it is
[/ QUOTE ]
<ul type="square">[*]It's a good thing these forums don't USE HTML.[/list]
[ QUOTE ]
Fried, Roman, Countrymen, hand me your ears. Manticore is trying to trick you. He has told many lies on the past, but this one eats the cake.
You see my friends, Manticore cannot see dogs.
It is true. This was demonstrated very well in the recent Arachnos incident involving him. Arachnos found out about Manticore's only innate super power, which he keeps the utmost secret. They sent dogs to attack him, since they knew canines were not visible to him. The dogs started attacking him and he was like "What manner of surreptitious fisticuffs is this?" Then Statesman came in and said
"WHAT HELL YOU ARE DOING?"
"I seem to be under attack by invisible foes."
"WHY YOU LET A DOG BITE YOU? IS YOU STUPID?"
"Well, old chum, you know that concealed creeping canines cannot and are invisible to me."
Fortunately for Manticore, just then, Ghost Widow was searching for dogs in eBay, and bough the dogs attacking him. She glued them together to make a hat for Wretch. His old dog hat was dirty and he needed a new one. You see, if Wretch doesn't wear a dog hat for at least five hours a day, he becomes William Shatner. However, if he leaves it on too long, he runs the risk of becoming Vin Diesel.
Naturally, this would displease Lord Recluse, because as we all know Lord Recluse is in fact Vin Diesel. He would not want a second clone of him running around. The first clone is known as Mynx.
Mynx, when placed next to Lord Recluse, can only speak in Spanish. But that is not the point.
The point is, Manticore can't see dogs.
He fought Wretch the very next day, who can go 8 million miles a day. Then he saw another planet. It was called Earth. Wretch said:
"Cheerio, Manticore old boy! Do you like my hat?"
"Jolly good, old bean! I cannot see your hat!"
"Ah! of course! I have forgotten, dear me, what a buffoon I am! You can't see dogs! My apologies, old chap!
Then he tried calling Ghost Widow but she was busy surfing the internet looking to buy the biggest pants possible.
What she didn't realize was that Lord Recluse was watching, waiting for her to change clothes, while wearing his special glasses. Unfortunately he was standing there for a very long time because Ghosts don't change clothes.
Lord Recluse hates his glasses. He is in fact very near-sighted but refuses to wear his glasses or admit it. This is why his meeting room has a television 40 feet high.
Also, Scirocco hates it when he puts his glasses on because whenever he does Scirocco's head bursts into flames. That is why Scirocco has dreadlocks and a metal plate on his head. So it won't catch fire.
Manticore was the one who custom made the plate on his head. Scirocco can also be seen constantly driving a golf cart with hydraulics that Manticore custom made for him. Manticore thought the golf cart was invisible though, because it was made of dogs, who bark every time Scirocco pours gas on them.
I hope this history lesson has taught you all something valuable. Just remember: If Manticore says that he sees a dog, he is trying to mislead you. And if Manticore ever truly sees a dog....heavens help us all.
Now that is just silly. Everyone knows Manticore doesn't even watch TV because last time he did the TV showed a picture of a Rikti and he punched it so hard the Rikti exploded in real life. And the TV? Well. The TV became what we call "Statesman's Favorite Hat" Therefore, because he does not watch TV's, Manticore cannot be Bill Brasky. Because Bill Brasky is a figment of his imagination.
[/ QUOTE ]
You, sir, are [censored] awesome.
Eh, the comic version is better.
This forum is like a crackhouse full of screaming junkies. That's why it's awesome.
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
- I don't know how to make bullet points in HTML, so I use hyphens. ...this isn't a direct corollary to the end per se, but it IS important, because it is
[/ QUOTE ]
<ul type="square">[*]It's a good thing these forums don't USE HTML.[/list]
[/ QUOTE ]
My point EXACTLY. If I don't know how to make HTML bullet points...and they don't USE HTML bullet points...how am I supposed to make bullet points?! Although now, thanks to my surreptious use of quotes, I know your dirty secret! The day is mine!
DOOOOOM!
[ QUOTE ]
You, sir, are [censored] awesome.
[/ QUOTE ]
Not mine. Flaky_Olly's.
Speeding Through New DA Repeatables || Spreadsheet o' Enhancements || Zombie Skins: better skins for these forums || Guide to Guides
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
- I don't know how to make bullet points in HTML, so I use hyphens. ...this isn't a direct corollary to the end per se, but it IS important, because it is
[/ QUOTE ]
<ul type="square">[*]It's a good thing these forums don't USE HTML.[/list]
[/ QUOTE ]
My point EXACTLY. If I don't know how to make HTML bullet points...and they don't USE HTML bullet points...how am I supposed to make bullet points?! Although now, thanks to my surreptious use of quotes, I know your dirty secret! The day is mine!
DOOOOOM!
[/ QUOTE ]
Why invoke my name? I didn't program the boards. See, it goes like this:
STATESMAAAAAAAAN!
/shatner
See? Much more effective that way.
I knew there was a reason for all those Posi's Blast pieces I've been picking up lately...Game over, man, game over!
The off-beat space pirate...Capt. Stormrider (50+3 Elec/Storm Science Corruptor)
The mysterious Djinn...Emerald Dervish (50+1 DB/DA Magic Stalker)
The psychotic inventor...Dollmaster (50 Bot/FF Tech Mastermind)
Virtue Forever.
OP knows that "each" is singular and goes with the verb "comes." This thread is Guy Perfect Approved.
Tricorder readings indicate massive buildup of win in this post.
Highly incompetent reader, I have for you the answers to the End-Times, or DOOOOOM™, as it's more commonly known. Now, I suppose it could be said that I will be shedding the light of wisdom and perfection on you because I am a generous, kind person. The truth of the matter is, I hate you. I hate you a lot. Because I hate you, I will show you the signs of the end, because it will make you angry, and lament! To summarize, the end is coming for the following reasons:
- A piece of Numina's Convalescence dropped for me yesterday, the Regen/Recovery piece no less. This never happens, and is a major sign of the end
- New stuff is coming out for this game faster than I can blink. Newness? Innovation?! CARING ABOUT THE PLAYERBASE?!? Heresy this is, a direct violation of the trust between Tyrant (dev) and oppressed civilians (you)! The minute they put away the lash and picked up an iota of compassion for the players was a sure sign if ever there was one
- I don't know how to make bullet points in HTML, so I use hyphens. ...this isn't a direct corollary to the end per se, but it IS important, because it is
Now, I mentioned in a previous installment a list of demands for the devs to meet (in 20 seconds, if you recall), which they did not. Since then, I have made good on my threat, and have been playing 14+ hours a day. You see, they are beginning to buckle under the pressure! My increased playtime adds stress to the servers see, building up like a weight on the spine. Soon, my home server of Pinnacle will crash, and everyone there will be forced to play on Freedom! Oh, the humanity!
Since we're on the topic of servers (and you are unable to change this topic, because you are not me), I'd like to mention in passing a minor...flaw in my home server, something I've noticed for years, but never got around to bring up. ...or doing anything about. You see, in all the time I've been on Pinnacle, I've seen over time a steady increase of happy, well-adjusted players. This is a problem! It is a problem, because for every single normal, well-spoken decent person that comes to Pinnacle, the number of people who can be made fun of for rampant misuse of the English language, ATs or any other number of things diminishes significantly. This is unacceptable! Who am I supposed to make fun of?! A crisis, to be sure.
In a week or so, I will be hosting an event for you, the unwashed masses, to boost your spirits and strengthen your resolve! At that time, I will expect the throngs of ignorant pleebs to show immense interest and intent to participate. Failure to participate will result in numerous empty threats and meaningless insults, most of which will make little to no sense. Keep an eye out, or you may miss:
THE GREATEST....okay, not quite greatest...
THE ALMOST GREAT...no...
THE MARGINALLY TOLERABLE EVENT OF THE YEAR!
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As each of these blathering walls of text comes into existence, I feel the need to remind newcomers that it is satire. I do this because I am a <censored> who has little faith in people, or their reading comprehension. Being that it is satire, it should be regarded, at best, as complete nonsense and falsehood. The author has demonstrated on numerous occasions that he is likely insane, with little regard for the impact of his writing on others. You may flame the author incessantly. You may participate in any discussions that result from the aforementioned flaming. Flaming is a good way to start a barbeque, particularly if you use mesquite. Mesquite is not a "trash" tree, they are beautiful in the summer, and make great grilling wood. Grilling while reading this thread is not advised, as injury may result. Anything grilled while reading this thread becomes the exclusive property of the thread's author, and must be mailed to him, preferably in a ziplock baggie, to preserve freshness.
So begins another week, enjoy your game!